@melodramatic26 half of my Christmas presents (big ones) were gift cards to BRU or clothes for the baby. My husband? Got presents for him. It pissed me off, to be honest. I'm thankful to be receiving gifts, but I don't appreciate the double standard. I did really appreciate that my husband went out of his way this year to buy me Christmas presents that were things that I wanted, completely separate from what we want/need for the baby.
Add me to the list of people who hate silly/cutesy names for genitalia. I also loathe the word potty. Kids can say bathroom. Potty is a horrible word that only ever gets whined.
This made me think of all the hungry people out here maybe pregnant means we are now hobbits and eat on their schedule. Starting to get an appetite back today hooray!
I'm bored. I feel like this BMB had a lot of action early on but what happened?
Ran off all the crazy? Want to argue over vaccines some more? I never did get that flu shot... Circumcision? I still get really mad when people are smoking (even outside). Quick somebody post a pregnant undie pic! Or something political! Oh we can argue about godparents! Are god parents just for catholics or can agnostics assign god parents? Is it AW-y or legit? Who's throwing their own shower??? CONFESS!
Oooh are godparents controversial??? My godmother is the biggest atheist I know. My dad is an atheist and my mom is a non-church going Christian (more spiritual than Christian) but chose my godmother because she's awesome and loves me. DH and I are agnostic and I have zero clue of the religious convictions of DD's Godmother, except that I know she isn't Catholic. Also, my Catholic best friend asked me to be the Godmother to her daughter, and the only time I've stepped foot in a Catholic church was for her baptism. I CONFESS.
But I would NEVER throw my own shower, so hopefully I'm redeemed.
@BostonBaby1 yes!!!! Oh man! I was semi freaking out about what to do with a penis (circumcision or not), so I am pretty relieved this one doesn't have one.
My FFFC is I got married in October and still haven't sent out thank you notes for my bridal shower or wedding. I feel like an ass!
I got married in July. We were like "Oh, they'll be Christmas cards! ... They'll be New Year's cards... Valentine's Day cards!" Hell at this point, they'll just be "'We finally sent cards' cards" lol
@Kellyj103 She would tell me things like I was supposed to be a boy (I'm the eldest child of her only son) or I would get socks for Christmas and my brother and cousins would get toys, things like that. I never had much of a retort because I was a kid, I just cried because my grandma didn't like me. Thankfully I am super close with my other grandma and she more than makes up the love
@KASG I totally get what you're saying. My in laws do not have a relationship with DD and I'm totally dreading them that this little nugget is a boy. I just know they will treat him differently than my DD and that's so not fair. I am in no way disappointed that it's a boy.....I just don't want to deal with my kids seeing their grandparents favoring one over the other.
My FFFC.....totally had jelly beans and pretzels for lunch today. Oh well.
@Weville I'm my mom's only child and this will be her first grandchild. Judging by how she treats my dog, if my in laws aren't over-the-moon about our baby, MY mom sure will be!
I have to confess that I haven't needed to buy maternity jeans yet, but am on the brink of...and by the end of the day, I have to unbutton my jeans in order to sit comfortably lol
My FFFC: I got in to work today at 9, and I fully plan on leaving about an hour early for no other reason than that it is BEAUTIFUL outside. I had a more productive day than usual, so I'm just going to pretend I squeezed my 8 hours of work into 7 with pure efficiency.
1. We have always used correct terms for body parts with our daughter. It horrifies my family members if she happens to say "vagina" around them. We also flat out say that it is a "fart", not "toot" or anything cutesy.
2. Someone did post a gender disappointment thread earlier. We probably don't have a lot right now, because most are still waiting for their anatomy scan. I am Team Green and I feel a little disappointment this go 'round, which I didn't have the first time I was Team Green. Its not that I want to have one sex over another, but I feel like there will be a little disappointment with both. I have a girl.....I will never get to experience raising a son and my husband's last name will end (he is the last one to carry it on). We have a boy....we won't get to reuse any of DD's super cute clothing and stuff that we have saved for 4 years and I am emotionally attached to, and DD won't have a sister to have that sister-sister relationship. Overall, of course we want happy and healthy, but being that it will most likely be our last, there is that little ping of disappointment either way.
My confession is that if I poop during the day, I pretty much consider that a successful day and don't give a rats a** what happens the rest of the day. I crapped today....today, was a successful day......
1. We have always used correct terms for body parts with our daughter. It horrifies my family members if she happens to say "vagina" around them. We also flat out say that it is a "fart", not "toot" or anything cutesy.
2. Someone did post a gender disappointment thread earlier. We probably don't have a lot right now, because most are still waiting for their anatomy scan. I am Team Green and I feel a little disappointment this go 'round, which I didn't have the first time I was Team Green. Its not that I want to have one sex over another, but I feel like there will be a little disappointment with both. I have a girl.....I will never get to experience raising a son and my husband's last name will end (he is the last one to carry it on). We have a boy....we won't get to reuse any of DD's super cute clothing and stuff that we have saved for 4 years and I am emotionally attached to, and DD won't have a sister to have that sister-sister relationship. Overall, of course we want happy and healthy, but being that it will most likely be our last, there is that little ping of disappointment either way.
My confession is that if I poop during the day, I pretty much consider that a successful day and don't give a rats a** what happens the rest of the day. I crapped today....today, was a successful day......
I feel this way too @PhoebeJune1984 - We have DD and this baby is our last, also team green. I feel like I really want another girl, for the convenience of reusing clothes and for DD to have the sister-sister relationship. But then I really want a boy so that we can experience being parents to a boy, and DD can have that brother-sister relationship (I'm close to both my sisters and my brother). It's a weird feeling
I have my anatomy scan on Wednesday and am hope, hope hoping for a girl. We both are. All pregnancy long we have felt like its a girl and have seen or heard our girl's name everywhere. There are so many reasons for why we would prefer a girl over a boy that goes beyond adorable clothes and decor, which I feel like people think is the reason why I want one. That's not the case. I am trying not to feel disappointment so that if it is a boy come Wednesday, I can be happy regardless. I am feeling a lot of guilt for wanting one over the other, because ultimately it matters if they're healthy.
This made me think of all the hungry people out here maybe pregnant means we are now hobbits and eat on their schedule. Starting to get an appetite back today hooray!
Haha! I just made DH get me a burrito but I could only eat half. His exact words were, "Let's just pretend you're a hobbit and this is supper. You can finish the rest for dinner later on."
Not really, but it feels like it. My Mom and MIL are planning a joint shower, and they will not make any plans without running every detail by me. They just sent me a bunch of websites to review so I can pick an invite for them, and a copy of the menu options to pick from. They have the best of intentions, so i feel bad complaining.. But their phone calls, texts, emails, and follow ups are stressing me out!
I have my anatomy scan on Wednesday and am hope, hope hoping for a girl. We both are. All pregnancy long we have felt like its a girl and have seen or heard our girl's name everywhere. There are so many reasons for why we would prefer a girl over a boy that goes beyond adorable clothes and decor, which I feel like people think is the reason why I want one. That's not the case. I am trying not to feel disappointment so that if it is a boy come Wednesday, I can be happy regardless. I am feeling a lot of guilt for wanting one over the other, because ultimately it matters if they're healthy.
My friends brother and his wife were both hoping for a girl. They wanted nothing to do with a boy and pretty much made it known. Imagine their surprise when they did their sex reveal, and they are having a boy. They were devastated and had to hide their disappointment. Now, several weeks later, they are use to the fact that they are having a boy, but how awkward for everyone who was there, that knew how badly they wanted a girl. If you think that will happen, and it would take you awhile to adjust to having a boy (if it is a boy), I wouldn't have a sex reveal party.
I use to nanny girls and when my boss told me she was pregnant, I jokingly said "It better be a girl...because I only nanny girls!" I was joking for the most part, but little boys terrified me. She had a boy, and that little turkey (even with a hellish 5 months of colic), was so awesome!
@PhoebeJune1984 thank you! Yes, we are finding out privately at our anatomy scan, and then doing the reveal party more for friends and family that just wanted to have a get together lol! I know I will be in love with my baby regardless and the disappointment will fade if it isn't a girl.
@BostonBaby1 I don't think people saying they would prefer one over the other means you don't get to have feelings about losing a child. That is on a completely different level! It's like saying you can either only care about the police being shot OR care they are held to a high standard in their job. These concepts aren't mutually exclusive.
my fffc is that I will be holding a BBQ at my house for neighbours and hubby's coworkers after baby is born as a meet and greet. I don't care if it's tacky, I don't care if they bring gifts and I don't care that I had a kid 20 months ago when this child shows up. Each of my children are going to be celebrated and met. With love from family and friends.
@BostonBaby1 I don't think people saying they would prefer one over the other means you don't get to have feelings about losing a child. That is on a completely different level! It's like saying you can either only care about the police being shot OR care they are held to a high standard in their job. These concepts aren't mutually exclusive.
my fffc is that I will be holding a BBQ at my house for neighbours and hubby's coworkers after baby is born as a meet and greet. I don't care if it's tacky, I don't care if they bring gifts and I don't care that I had a kid 20 months ago when this child shows up. Each of my children are going to be celebrated and met. With love from family and friends.
There actually is a huge difference between preferring to have one sex and being disappointed with what you are going to actually have. Fear of the unknown, apprehension, etc. are vastly different from disappointment.
In no way do I think the people having sex disappointment negates my right to feel bad about losing my children. That's ridiculous.
Ha! I've found reasons why either sex would be amazing. I don't have a preference. But I remember my sister going on and on about ONLY wanting a boy 7 years ago when she was pregnant. I learned real quick how awful saying that aloud sounded!! She was Team Green with that pregnancy, and I was secretly annoyed she actually had a boy. She ended up going on to have two more kids - both girls!! She accepted my first niece, but again open about her boy desire with baby #3, as it was going to be their last. She really is a good mom, and I know she loves each of them with all her heart, but it really is crazy to me how she felt! Even after having one of each!
I guess my FFFC: This sister and I don't have the best relationship.....and you better believe if I have a boy, I love that it will probably irritate her, haha!!
There are also different levels of disappointment when to those that deal with sex disappointment. There are some that just feel a little ping of it, but are still extremely happy with what they end up with. There are some that have their hopes for one sex, and take a week or so to get use to the fact they are having the opposite. And there are some that are just downright devastated and cannot move past the fact that they are having the opposite sex that they wanted. That, to me, is pretty extreme and I have a hard time wrapping my brain around that type of disappointment. I know plenty of people that were hoping for one sex, found out it was the opposite, and just needed some time to re-imagine their life with the sex they are now having.
But when I had my 20 week scan while pregnant with my daughter, the tech was telling us about one of the moms that came in and was hoping for a girl. She already had three boys. Low and behold, another boy. She was so upset, she burst into tears and didn't want to stay for the rest of her anatomy scan, and didn't care about the organs or anything (she even openly said that to everyone in the room). She wanted to leave, but her husband had to convince her to stay, and she spent the rest of the ultrasound not looking at the screen or her baby. She cried until it was over, and got up and walked out. My friends SIL wanted a boy so badly, that she refuse to admit that they found out it was a girl at the 20 week scan. She spent the whole pregnancy referring to baby as the boy name she had picked out, and come c-section time, she told the doctors to "put it back in because HE isn't done cooking" when the OB announced it was a girl. While pregnant with her second, she referred to baby as "he" or "boy name", had her daughter convinced it was a boy, pretty much hated everyone that was having a boy around her, and refuse to really bond with her second daughter after she was born....she really wanted nothing to do with her, until she was around 6mo. I know grown men, who get pissed off that they are having a girl, and feel the need to blame their spouse for the fact that they are having a girl and not the son that they wanted. And my boss's best friend is raising his son alone, because when his wife found out that it was a boy and not a girl, she said she wanted nothing to do with him and said as soon as he was born, she was walking away.....and she did just that. He became a single father of a newborn, and she has since remarried and had a girl.
Those are the extremes. The ones that I really cannot wrap my head around. I may have those little pings of disappointment for the "loss" of either sex, but in no way, shape or form, will it ruin my relationship with my next child. I am both excited to be having another little girl, or welcoming a boy into the family, whichever it might be. Either way, it is going to be rad. DD might have some disappointment (she wants a sister), but my brother and I are close, so if it ends up being a boy.....I know that she will be perfectly fine in the end.
ETA: I guess I shouldn't refer to it as "loss" of either sex, more like not getting to experience, the sex you may not have in the end. If that makes sense. I was Team Green with DD, but my whole pregnancy I thought I was having a boy. When she came out, I wasn't disappointed, I just had assumed "boy" the whole time, and pictured boy, so then I had to switch my thinking and re-invision how I pictured my future, with a girl. At that moment, would I have wished for a boy instead of the girl I had? Nope. She is way too cool to give up!
@BostonBaby1 I'm with you, after my loss, I just want a health baby. I do not have any preferences. We are going to find out just because we want to be able to plan the nursery and buy clothes and stuff.
Our friends had a gender reveal party and the dad had a fit when he found out it was a girl. A full on fit for like 15 minutes and then he started pounding the liquor. It was so sad and disappointing to see his reaction to be like that and it totally ruined the party. However, 6 months later he is completely in love with his baby girl which makes me very happy and relieved!
I have to confess that I haven't needed to buy maternity jeans yet, but am on the brink of...and by the end of the day, I have to unbutton my jeans in order to sit comfortably lol
@jlmartinez517 I have pairs from Gap, H&M, and Old Navy. I think the H&M ones fit the best (but I had to size up by 1 size). Not all H&M stores carry maternity, and if they do they don't have tons of stock, but you could try a few things on and then order online. H&M also has really cute organic baby basics!
I'm happy with all three of those brands. And this is my second pregnancy, and the jeans are all still holding up.
@kellyj103 Thats sad! Especially since when there are a lot of people watching it all go down, its kind of burned into their brain how he reacted. There are some Youtube sex reveals where you can see the disappointed look on the MTB's face sometimes when it shows they are having a boy. There is even one with twins, where the first one is a boy and there is some cheering, but then its revealed that the second one is a girl, and all of the female family members lose their sh*t....screaming, yelling, etc. Part of me wonders, if they would have reacted that way if #2 was revealed to be another boy? I would feel a little bummed if I was the boy, looking at the reactions later, I would feel like everyone was more excited about my twin sister. I could be totally wrong, and they could have just been thrilled to be having one of each, but I do still wonder. One that I watched, the lady surprised her husband with the sex, and he pulled a girl outfit out of the gift bag and was pissed. After throwing out a few cuss words and sitting there throwing himself a little pity party like a two year old, I thought "Why would you want the whole world to be able to see that your spouse is ungrateful, or for your future child to see it?" Meanwhile, while he is sitting there looking like he wanted to kill somebody, the rest of the people in the room were all laughing over the fact that it was a girl and he was disappointed. I really wish I had marked the video, so I could link it in this post.
When my husband found out we are having a girl I could tell he was trying to hide his panic. When we got out to the car I asked if he was okay and he said 'I will be, I'm just not excited for all of the boys who will be around when she is older' and commented later 'I was a teenaged boy once, I don't want her to dealing with that'. In that sense, I totally get where he is coming from. He is already talking about showing her how to fix cars and computers, playing video games, throwing the football, etc. I can't imagine I would feel very comfortable if my husband was legitimately disappointed with having a daughter, but I can 100% get behind him being a little scared.
@PhoebeJune1984@DobbysSock that's why I want(ed) 4 kids: 2 of each so that my daughter could have a sister and my son could have a brother. Plus the brother-sister relationship.
@Weville I can empathize, my paternal grandmother was convinced that as all her other grandchildren were boy-girl pairs I would be a boy. She never quite forgave me or my mother. I git "boy" gifts for the first 4 years of my life. It has made an interesting set of Christmas ornaments (one of her standard gifts). Oh well...
When my husband found out we are having a girl I could tell he was trying to hide his panic. When we got out to the car I asked if he was okay and he said 'I will be, I'm just not excited for all of the boys who will be around when she is older' and commented later 'I was a teenaged boy once, I don't want her to dealing with that'. In that sense, I totally get where he is coming from. He is already talking about showing her how to fix cars and computers, playing video games, throwing the football, etc. I can't imagine I would feel very comfortable if my husband was legitimately disappointed with having a daughter, but I can 100% get behind him being a little scared.
The only thing that scares me about having a boy, is the amount of bathroom cleaning I will be doing when he learns to stand and pee. HAHA! All of my nanny boys were the type that heard or saw something, and would focus on that, turn and start spraying everywhere. Not too long ago, my current nanny boy was peeing in the bathroom when he saw a fly in the bathroom, and started watching it fly around the bathroom....and just started spraying everywhere...including all over the basket next to the toilet, which held rolls of toilet paper! Those had to be tossed. Lol!
Another girl scares me, because I fear for MH's life when all three of us have our periods at the same time. Poor guy!
@Nerdchild , my DH is the head coach for our Dd's soccer team. She may be practicing in hot pink socks and bows (and once a tutu....pick your battles), but she still wears cleats and loves to kick the ball.
He tried with the car thing, she doesn't care. But she does point out the pretty ones, or pretty paint colors. Hey, it's a start.
When my husband found out we are having a girl I could tell he was trying to hide his panic. When we got out to the car I asked if he was okay and he said 'I will be, I'm just not excited for all of the boys who will be around when she is older' and commented later 'I was a teenaged boy once, I don't want her to dealing with that'. In that sense, I totally get where he is coming from. He is already talking about showing her how to fix cars and computers, playing video games, throwing the football, etc. I can't imagine I would feel very comfortable if my husband was legitimately disappointed with having a daughter, but I can 100% get behind him being a little scared.
The only thing that scares me about having a boy, is the amount of bathroom cleaning I will be doing when he learns to stand and pee. HAHA! All of my nanny boys were the type that heard or saw something, and would focus on that, turn and start spraying everywhere. Not too long ago, my current nanny boy was peeing in the bathroom when he saw a fly in the bathroom, and started watching it fly around the bathroom....and just started spraying everywhere...including all over the basket next to the toilet, which held rolls of toilet paper! Those had to be tossed. Lol!
Another girl scares me, because I fear for MH's life when all three of us have our periods at the same time. Poor guy!
I just think of the Bridesmaid scene when she's like "I cracked a blanket in half!"
@Kellyj103@liljabee As an adult it is not a thing that bothers me anymore, it's just one of those things as a kid you don't understand fully. And it would be why I get a pissy at the extreme disappointment people ( I can understand a little gee whiz I'll never get to experience a boy or girl but)
Re: FFFC: confess!!
Add me to the list of people who hate silly/cutesy names for genitalia. I also loathe the word potty. Kids can say bathroom. Potty is a horrible word that only ever gets whined.
But I would NEVER throw my own shower, so hopefully I'm redeemed.
My FFFC.....totally had jelly beans and pretzels for lunch today. Oh well.
July16 JULY siggy challenge
2. Someone did post a gender disappointment thread earlier. We probably don't have a lot right now, because most are still waiting for their anatomy scan. I am Team Green and I feel a little disappointment this go 'round, which I didn't have the first time I was Team Green. Its not that I want to have one sex over another, but I feel like there will be a little disappointment with both. I have a girl.....I will never get to experience raising a son and my husband's last name will end (he is the last one to carry it on). We have a boy....we won't get to reuse any of DD's super cute clothing and stuff that we have saved for 4 years and I am emotionally attached to, and DD won't have a sister to have that sister-sister relationship. Overall, of course we want happy and healthy, but being that it will most likely be our last, there is that little ping of disappointment either way.
My confession is that if I poop during the day, I pretty much consider that a successful day and don't give a rats a** what happens the rest of the day. I crapped today....today, was a successful day......
*eta- I've lost 4 babies in a row. Both sexes. I could not care less how my baby urinates so long as baby is healthy.
I use to nanny girls and when my boss told me she was pregnant, I jokingly said "It better be a girl...because I only nanny girls!" I was joking for the most part, but little boys terrified me. She had a boy, and that little turkey (even with a hellish 5 months of colic), was so awesome!
my fffc is that I will be holding a BBQ at my house for neighbours and hubby's coworkers after baby is born as a meet and greet. I don't care if it's tacky, I don't care if they bring gifts and I don't care that I had a kid 20 months ago when this child shows up. Each of my children are going to be celebrated and met. With love from family and friends.
In no way do I think the people having sex disappointment negates my right to feel bad about losing my children. That's ridiculous.
I guess my FFFC: This sister and I don't have the best relationship.....and you better believe if I have a boy, I love that it will probably irritate her, haha!!
But when I had my 20 week scan while pregnant with my daughter, the tech was telling us about one of the moms that came in and was hoping for a girl. She already had three boys. Low and behold, another boy. She was so upset, she burst into tears and didn't want to stay for the rest of her anatomy scan, and didn't care about the organs or anything (she even openly said that to everyone in the room). She wanted to leave, but her husband had to convince her to stay, and she spent the rest of the ultrasound not looking at the screen or her baby. She cried until it was over, and got up and walked out. My friends SIL wanted a boy so badly, that she refuse to admit that they found out it was a girl at the 20 week scan. She spent the whole pregnancy referring to baby as the boy name she had picked out, and come c-section time, she told the doctors to "put it back in because HE isn't done cooking" when the OB announced it was a girl. While pregnant with her second, she referred to baby as "he" or "boy name", had her daughter convinced it was a boy, pretty much hated everyone that was having a boy around her, and refuse to really bond with her second daughter after she was born....she really wanted nothing to do with her, until she was around 6mo. I know grown men, who get pissed off that they are having a girl, and feel the need to blame their spouse for the fact that they are having a girl and not the son that they wanted. And my boss's best friend is raising his son alone, because when his wife found out that it was a boy and not a girl, she said she wanted nothing to do with him and said as soon as he was born, she was walking away.....and she did just that. He became a single father of a newborn, and she has since remarried and had a girl.
Those are the extremes. The ones that I really cannot wrap my head around. I may have those little pings of disappointment for the "loss" of either sex, but in no way, shape or form, will it ruin my relationship with my next child. I am both excited to be having another little girl, or welcoming a boy into the family, whichever it might be. Either way, it is going to be rad. DD might have some disappointment (she wants a sister), but my brother and I are close, so if it ends up being a boy.....I know that she will be perfectly fine in the end.
ETA: I guess I shouldn't refer to it as "loss" of either sex, more like not getting to experience, the sex you may not have in the end. If that makes sense. I was Team Green with DD, but my whole pregnancy I thought I was having a boy. When she came out, I wasn't disappointed, I just had assumed "boy" the whole time, and pictured boy, so then I had to switch my thinking and re-invision how I pictured my future, with a girl. At that moment, would I have wished for a boy instead of the girl I had? Nope. She is way too cool to give up!
Our friends had a gender reveal party and the dad had a fit when he found out it was a girl. A full on fit for like 15 minutes and then he started pounding the liquor. It was so sad and disappointing to see his reaction to be like that and it totally ruined the party. However, 6 months later he is completely in love with his baby girl which makes me very happy and relieved!
July16 JULY siggy challenge
I'm happy with all three of those brands. And this is my second pregnancy, and the jeans are all still holding up.
@Weville I can empathize, my paternal grandmother was convinced that as all her other grandchildren were boy-girl pairs I would be a boy. She never quite forgave me or my mother. I git "boy" gifts for the first 4 years of my life. It has made an interesting set of Christmas ornaments (one of her standard gifts). Oh well...
Another girl scares me, because I fear for MH's life when all three of us have our periods at the same time. Poor guy!
He tried with the car thing, she doesn't care. But she does point out the pretty ones, or pretty paint colors. Hey, it's a start.
I just think of the Bridesmaid scene when she's like "I cracked a blanket in half!"