TTC After a Loss

about to cry (TMI)

I don't know wtF my body is doing!!! Nothing happens for 35 days, then I spot for 3 days (which I'm sure was anov bleeding). My temps have been pretty steady, but I've been spotting! I check my CM internally b/c I haven't really seemed to have a lot lately and it's hard to tell checking externally, but everytime I do there's been some brown tinge. This morning when I checked there was a small red clot...WTF?!? I am not one to put my personal business online, but I'm so confused as to what is happening. I just want more than anything for my body to get back to normal. Everytime it does something funny I'm reminded of my m/c which, I have to say, I did an excellent of job of putting out of my mind and moving on. I'm also PISSED because I started using my CBEFM thinking AF was visiting and now I'm not so sure, so I'll have to call the help line and figure out how to reset the damnn thing if I start bleeding again.

Sorry for the sob story. Pity party is over. I am just BEYOND frustration. I just want to be pg again. that is all.

Crying

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Re: about to cry (TMI)

  • Cora I am so sorry! I have no "words of advice" since this is my first real cycle post m/c, but I can tell you that I am very frustrated also and feel your pain! If you don't mind me asking when was your m/c?
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  • I just want to give you ((big hugs)). We have all been there. I had a really hard time emotionally my first two cycles TTCAL. And to top it off when your body is not "normal" like it used to be it is frustrating. And if you do have to reset it let me know I have the directions I can post. Again, ((big hugs)).
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  • labbie--thank you. I just said the same thing to you in your post below! My m/c was in October.

    kimmie--thank you. I'll let you know!

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  • It is so frustrating.  I'm sorry.  I know that it can take a couple cycles for your body to get back to normal (and anecdotally, it does seem like it might take longer for those who had d&e/d&cs than those who m/c'd naturally.  So this IS normal for someone who has had an m/c.  Have you talked to your OB about it?
  • Aww ... I wish I could say something that would take all of your troubles away!  I know that the first couple of cycles after m/c are crazy and it is so frustrating!  Hang in there though, your body is doing what it needs to do in order to be back to optimal condition to carry that little baby of yours asap!  Left HugBIG HUGSRight Hug

  • I'm so sorry Cora!  Like Labbie I don't really have any words of advice either, but we're all here for you and I'm sending some "happy no more wtf body" thoughts your way...
  • That really sucks.  I'm sorry you have to go through this.  Maybe the spotting is your body's way of trying to get itself back to normal.  Maybe the  m/c changed your body chemistry a bit and what is normal for you now is a bit different than before.  One weird thing that has been happening to me is that I get full on AF, then it stops for a day, then it comes back.  I asked my doctor and she said it's a normal variation.  Anyway, you are in my prayers, and I wish you the best of luck in trying to figure everything out.
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  • I'm sorry.  I know it has been a few months since your miscarriage, but it is really common to still have messed up stuff going on.  I had weird random spottting and bleeding a few months after my second miscarriage.  I am sure you will be back to normal soon.....sorry it all sucks.
    7 mm/c
    APS, hetero factor v leiden & MTHFR
    bfp #1 - 12.11.07, edd 8.14.08, mm/c 1.21.08 (10w4d)
    bfp #2 - 4.4.08, edd 12.3.08, mm/c 5.14.08 (11w)
    bfp #3 - 8.3.08, edd 4.15.09, mm/c 9.17.08 (10w)
    bfp #4 - 1.15.09, edd 9.26.09, mm/c 2.16.09 (8w2d)
    bfp #5 - 6.16.09, edd 2.25.10, mm/c 7.23.09 (9w)
    bfp #6 - 8.12.10, edd 4.27.11, mm/c 9.16.10 (8w1d)
    one more try -> bfp #7 - 2.11, our miracle baby boy arrived 10.11
    ttc again -> bfp #8 - 5.3.13, edd 1.13.14, mm/c 5.30.13 (7w3d)
    bfp #9 - 9.23.13, our miracle baby girl arrived 5.29.14

  • Lots of hugs Cora.  I'm sorry.  I think it's pretty normal to have a crazy cycle or two.  I hope it gets better soon.
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  • Hi Cora, I'm so sorry but I feel like I can really relate to you with the spotting issue.  I am the QUEEN of spotting. I'm serious...just peek at my chart.  I have had more CM tinged with some color than I've had days with nothing since my D &C Nov. 3rd. I spotted right up until I ovulated and now in my LP I've had spotting.

    Anyway, I hope it makes you feel a little better to know that you are not alone.

    For what it's worth, I think you have had Af and what you are experiencing now is midcycle spotting. I don't think it means you won't O, but O might be delayed.

    Hang in there girl I'm rooting for you!

  • I'm really sorry sweetie! ((HUGS))
  • I'm sorry Cora.  I am giving you big hugs ((hugs))
  • Girls,

    Thank you so much. It means a lot to me to have people who are so understanding and supportive. My DH just doesn't seem to care (I think it's more that he doesn't understand than that he doesn't care, but you know how that goes) and I just dont' have anyone in my life who "gets it." Its times like these when I wish I had all of you as neighbors and I could just get us all together and have a big cry. Then drink lots of wine.

    Thank you.

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  • I am SO sorry you are going through this :::HUGS::: I don't know what to say, understanding our bodies is difficult and it is hard to find a "pattern" from month to month.

    If you have a good relationship with your Dr, why don't you go in and talk to her/him?

    Or, and I am not sure if you are able to do this, but just let it all go. If you are working so hard to understand and aren't, just stop everything, get into a good headspace and then continue on. I realize you most likely want to punch me (!!!) for saying that and it would only be "easier" to do if your cycles are regular and know when you are Oing so you can still FWP.

    I hope it happens for you really soon :::hugs:::

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  • i'm sorry cora. ?i know how frustrating it can be. ?i never really had any mid-cycle spotting, but the coupe of cycles after my m/c i had lots of spotting before af....up to 5 days one month. ?it was really frustrating being so uncertain about what's going on, but it finally stopped. ?i'm sure it will just take a little bit for your body to get back into it's rhythm, but it will. ?((big hugs)) ?that group wine/cry party sounds great...that would be perfect!!
  • Haha of course I don't want to punch you! I am not really wanting to call a Dr b/c I had an absolutely horrible experience with my OB during my m/c and I'm searching for a new doctor. Of course if things continue as they are I will give them a call, but for now I just want to let my body do what it's going to do...I know it's trying to work itself out. I've kind of decided I'll keep using the CBEFM to find my peak days and still FWP, but you are right, I just need to relax and "let it go." Thank you so much.
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  • Cora, I am sorry.  I hope your body resets quickly.  And don't worry -- many girls know how to reset the CBEFM too -- I had to with mine three times.  I completely understand your annoyance.  big hugs to you.
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  • Rae!! I miss you terribly over here, but I'm glad everything is going perfectly with your little one so far.Please please please keep us all updated and come back lots to visit!
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  • Cora- I am really sorry. My body has not gotten back to "normal" either and it is so frustrating. ::::hugs:::
    bfp #1 - 8/17/2008, natural m/c 8/25/2008, EDD 4/21/2009 bfp #2 - 10/6/2008, hb stopped at 7 w 3 d, d&e on 11/7/2008, EDD 6/19/2009 bfp #3- 3/14/2009.... stick, baby, stick!!!! (14 dpo - hcg 188, 16 dpo - hcg 421, 24 dpo - hcg 14,760!, 4/2 healthy HB of 130 bpm, 4/16 HB of 178 bpm!) bfp #4- 2/2/2011, EDD 10/17/2011 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • I'm really sorry you're going through this, it is so frustrating when all we want is a normal cycle. I wanted to let you know too I have the reset instructions if you need them, just let me know.
  • ugh I am so sorry that you are going through this - before my M/C I never had normal cycles (50 days in length) so I feel your pain.

    I also totally agree that DH does NOT understand this situation we are in the way we are experiencing it. We have had numerous fights about this and it gets very heated when we discuss it. I am so glad we all have each other to understand.

    Good luck and I hope the real AF shows soon or you get your BFP so you can have some relief.

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  • I am so sorry your body is messing with you... I hope you can get it figured out soon.?

    [BIG BIG HUGS]?

  • Cora, I don't have any advice but just wanted to tell you that I love you and and sorry.
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  • Sorry you're having such a tough time.

    Looks like we both had a blighted ovum in October. My DC was October 6th. AF was psycho for me at first. She started really light and then got so painful with lots of yucky clots. (sorry TMI) Supposedly, it is just the body's way of returning to normal. But, it still was frustrating. My doctor kind of ticked me off too. Do you have urgent care centers in your area? I went to one (even though it wasn't an emergency) and the nurse practitioner was great and helpful. It cost me a little more for the copay and the wait was about 45 minutes but it was worth it.

    Good luck!

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