TTC After a Loss

When To Rejoin a BMB?

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Re: When To Rejoin a BMB?

  • chloe97chloe97 member
    edited February 2016
    @cooaladoll Im turning 37 soon and I'm also secretly hoping for twins!!! Ha! My mental cutoff is 40. We are still far from this option at this point, but my bff had IVF at 35 and has an extra embryo waiting for implantation. I know that she's struggled with infertility and it's not been easy emotionally or financially for her, but I'm so jealous that she has her "2nd child" on ice waiting for implantation. If I am lucky enough to have a healthy baby, I'm going to feel pressure to TTC right away!! If we have another loss, we are going straight to the RE. 
  • Wow I feel like a twin with so many of you - met DH when I was 19 (first boyfriend), married after the undergrad was completed at 23 - then grad school for me until I was nearly 31 - better mental health than ever before - tried to get more than adjunct status for two years and now TTC. We're in Canada but I've started looking at positions in the states because there are so many more small colleges - so hopefully I'll have some questions for all y'all about medical benefits to negotiate for in the near future 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






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  • ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • I didn't know there were PGAL boards either.  I think if I were to rejoin a BMB it would be a PGAL and I possibly wouldn't do it until 8 weeks or so.  But who knows, I may feel differently if and when the time comes.  And as for the age thing, that's reduce lousy referring to 30s as older moms.  all my friends, and most of the women I know from high school were in their 30s when they had their first child.  I feel it's the norm in the area I live.



    Our Journey:
    DS born 05/14
    Losses 06/15, 09/15, 02/16
    DS born 12/16
    HPT+ 1/12/20



  • Since the conversation had gone this way... H and I were together 7.5 years before he proposed and have been together for 13 this year now. I've been ready for a few years but H wanted a bit more financial security. We were lucky enough to fall pregnant the first try and were over the moon before we miscarried.

    The interesting thing to me is that the few people we told were so quick to comment "it's never the right time". Ironically, I was like, "yes there is and it's now!"... It is now... But ultimately, the illusion of control does seem to drive out decisions in earlier life!

    Anyway, just adding my 2 cents!! :smile: 

    ps. I'm not sure I'll rejoin BMB... Just makes me feel a little sick. 
  • @chloe97   @catiecatp    I'm just now reading this thread, but I lol'd about moving to Canada to get away from Donald Trump.  My husband and I keep talking about whether Canada would let us be teachers there.  It's always good to have an escape strategy, but I seriously don't think I could handle the cold.
    TTC #1 since June 2015
    BFP #1 Nov 2015 ended in MC Dec 26 2015
    BFP #2 Feb 2016, EDD Nov 8 2016




  • @BooksForMe23 - it is a lovely country (even if it did snow this afternoon here in Calgary) - in terms of teaching, vacancy rates seem to be highly variable across the country, but I bet that is the same in the US.

    I'm actually going to apply for US citizenship within the next 2 weeks - or as I understand it, declare my citizenship? My dad was American and lived in the US until he was in his 30s-40s. He thought he'd lost his citizenship when he became Canadian so he never registered my birth with a consulate - but about 3-5 years before he passed away he found out that he never lost it, which means he was a US citizen when I was born which combined with his years of residence means that I am American. I figure it will make job applications WAY easier. Wish me luck :)
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • @catiecatp I would think your citizenship situation would make it way easier to get a job.  Every application I've ever filled out has had a question about citizenship.  Are you looking at any particular part of the the U.S.?  

       I had a childhood friend who moved to Calgary and used to send us pictures.  It looks so beautiful!
    TTC #1 since June 2015
    BFP #1 Nov 2015 ended in MC Dec 26 2015
    BFP #2 Feb 2016, EDD Nov 8 2016




  • @BooksForMe23 - given that I am used to regularly talking about evolution in my classes we're figuring we'll stay away from areas that are highly religious. I've heard colleagues speak of students getting up and leaving in the middle of class when evolution comes up as a topic. But we're looking in a variety of locations - I think my top picks would be Hawaii (lol - nothing there, I looked), California, Washington, Oregon, Colorado - and some of the Eastern States, like Maine. Cold and snow don't scare us (in fact, I'd say we're jealous of the epic snow falls some states have been having) - if anything heat does... Overall I think we'd be happier in a smaller city - DH grew up in Rossland and I grew up in Desbarats and then Westbank (which was much smaller when I lived there). Calgary is a bit big but we stay in our area and it feels a bit smaller.  The city itself is ok - but where it really gets beautiful is driving west towards the rockies - you've got Banff and Canmore right near by and they're gorgeous.

    There is one job that I'm in love with in California - on one hand super exciting but on the other scary. I have a friend who works there so I hope to be able to craft a well tailored cover letter.

    All the applications ask if I'm a citizen and/or have a visa but I think a lot would sponsor a visa - though some explicitly say they won't. My colleagues say that it is much easier for a Canadian to get a US work visa than vice versa. But it would be one less thing an employer would have to deal with - and I could sponsor DH to work and/or go to school. 
    ---TW BFP and MC mentioned - scroll down past the Lilo and Stitch gif to avoid ---




    Me: 33 & DH: 33
    Married: 07/2006
    TTC: 10/2015
    BFP #1: 11/2015, MC 12/2015 (7 weeks)
    BFP #2: 06/2016, EDD 2/15/2017



    Pregnancy Ticker






  • After my first loss at 7 weeks, I waited until I was 12 weeks to join my bmb with my next pregnancy.  I mostly just lurked and when my daughter was born still at 23 weeks, I quietly stepped away. I don't know what I will do next time around.
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