Telling boss early

strickland8052 · February 2016

Hi guys! So my department at work is currently being restructured. One of my coworkers just left, so now my department consists solely of me and my boss. My boss and I are meeting tomorrow to talk about what I like/dislike about my job and if/how to replace the girl who left. I get the vibe that we may not replace the girl who left, I may get a little bit of a promotion and we will contract out the work that we don't like doing to someone outside. (Go from a three person department to a two person). This is also the time of year in which my boss is creating budgets.

With all these changes, I'm thinking about going ahead and telling my boss I'm KU. I just think it is a good time to discuss and plan. I think she'd appreciate the fact that she could account for it now and not have to replay everything all over again if I told her in a couple of months.

I know it is early (6 weeks, 4 days), but my boss is such a freakin awesome person... I just don't see any harm in telling. She makes it very clear to us that family comes first and she would never discriminate based on pregnancy (she is a single mom so she understands firsthand!). I had a loss back in December and she knows about it and was incredibly supportive.

Comsidering all that, what do you guys think?

MRSCORKER · February 2016

I told my boss the day I got my BFP. She knew about my CP in November and was supportive and helpful to me. I consider her a friend outside of work but I really told her because I knew I would have to be ducking out of work for appointments along the way and I don't like making up excuses for that kind of stuff.
My theory on telling people early is, if I'm going to turn to them for support if something goes wrong, then I tell them. It sounds like telling your boss will be beneficial in helping map out the future at work and also to have an extra support person. I say go for it.

westcoastfoodie · February 2016

I totally understand where you're coming from, she sounds like my boss! We had a loss in November and she was so supportive. When we recently got together for a lunch meeting I couldn't help myself and I told her. She cried because she was so happy for us. BUT, my boss and I are close like that. It does sound like there are a lot of changes going on at your work, so it might be nice for her to know, but I wouldn't blame ya for keeping to yourself either. Either way, good luck!!!

SnobunnieMel · February 2016

I told my boss right away as well. He is like a big brother to me and needed to know with some of the hazards of my job what he recommended. It has also been nice that he knows while we work very closely that my extreme nausea is from a real reason and not me being always hungover or slacking on the job. If it will directly affect future plans and you are comfortable, I think it's good to have yor boss know. Especially if frequent doctors visits are needed, then you don't have to explain so much.

katiegeminimoon · February 2016

Based on all that, I would tell her if that is what you are leaning towards.

ColemanBaby16 · February 2016

I told my boss this week. I am an ASM at a very busy retailer and my need to eat, drink and pee more frequently is starting to become noticeable. And I will be gone our entire 4th quarter (busiest time of the year) so we need to start planning for coverage. I knew once I told her she would have no problem with me taking my needed breaks. We are telling our families this weekend and I'm telling my fellow ASMs on Monday. I say go for it especially if it will help with planning the year's budget.

nsquaredlife13 · February 2016

I told my last boss early because I got MS and threw up in his trash can. He was a family guy so he totally didn't mind and was super congratulatory.

This time around, I'm so beyond nervous. My old boss left and the new guy is cool, but not the same. Timing is terrible so I'm worried about his reaction. Obviously, LEGALLY, he cant say or do anything to show his displeasure... but I know it will be there.

cd92007 · February 2016

I haven't told my boss yet, I'm scared. We get along so well and are pretty close, but she has never had kids and although she's nice about it, she's not very empathetic if that makes sense. Fourth quarter is also our busiest time of the year and I'm especially nervous to tell her I'll be gone for it (including me there are only 3 employees where I work, so we will have to hire someone to help). Also, since there are only 3 people.. I'm sure they have noticed my increase in eating and peeing. DH says I just need to rip off the bandaid and tell her... I think I will next week when we have a short day trip together eek!

CopperBoom86 · February 2016

I'm trying to decide what to do in this area, as well. My situation is a bit complicated, considering my direct supervisor is my dad.

Basically, he's a partner in a small business with two locations: one in California and one in Alabama. (We're in AL.) His partner's daughter basically runs the office in California and I do have the option of telling her. Since the CA office handles HR for both offices, she's the one who really needs to know right now, anyway.

I'm so nervous about my dad finding out before we decide to tell our families, though! I think I might keep it to myself a little longer. Maybe I'll tell her after my doctor's appointment next Friday.

Edited for clarity.

GingerGril · February 2016

I feel like my body sort of forced me into telling my boss. I'm lucky enough to have a bathroom right outside my office suite. Unfortunately, you can hear whatever is going on in the bathroom all the way down the hall. He was able to hear my loosing my breakfast, lunch and various snack throughout the day last week and approached me, concerned that I needed to check in (I work at a hospital). Kinda had to spill the beans at that time, he was ecstatic! He's aware of my apprehension of letting others know, so if I need to leave a meeting early, I say something about my IBS acting up and he covers for me.

I say go for it. It sounds like you'll have her support, and she would probably appreciate being able to start planning for later in the year now.

nsquaredlife13 · February 2016

cd92007 said:

I haven't told my boss yet, I'm scared. We get along so well and are pretty close, but she has never had kids and although she's nice about it, she's not very empathetic if that makes sense. Fourth quarter is also our busiest time of the year and I'm especially nervous to tell her I'll be gone for it (including me there are only 3 employees where I work, so we will have to hire someone to help). Also, since there are only 3 people.. I'm sure they have noticed my increase in eating and peeing. DH says I just need to rip off the bandaid and tell her... I think I will next week when we have a short day trip together eek!

We sound like we're on the same team! I'm on a team of 3, and the only female. 4th quarter is infinitely busier than any other quarter for my team... we actually do 5x the business. The anxiety is real!

MzOro82214 · February 2016

You gals are pretty lucky to have such great relationships with your bosses! I've only been at my job since August. I started through a temp agency then the company hired me on permanently on 12/1. Unfortunately I won't be eligible for the Maternity Leave because here in California you have to be an employee of the company for at least 12 months, which will be this December.

I'm kinda freaking out about that, but I'm not planning on telling my boss until I'm almost complete with my 1st trimester. I already have a lil Mommy pudge from my past pregnancies, so I can probably just conceal it for a while, but I'd like to tell her as soon as possible. She's really cool with me and jokes around with all of us, so that's good, but I just can't begin to imagine what she's going to say when I tell her.

strickland8052 · February 2016

Thanks so much for all the advice! You guys made me feel better about my decision to tell her tomorrow morning! Agh! Now I'm a little nervous! Haha

MrsHudson2014 · February 2016

I was planning on telling my boss today, as we never really have time to sit down and chat without other people around. I also work for a retailer, and I hate leaving her in a bind for Q4. She did (very jokingly) ask me not take take maternity leave November Week 3 (this has happened to her before!), so I was thinking about telling her...well, it's not November Week 3 at least!?

I know she'll be happy, but I kind of feel crummy telling work before I tell my family.

jhulan · February 2016

I had to tell my boss today only 4 weeks into the pregnancy because I have severe dizziness that is greatly affecting everything! I would have preferred to wait much longer.

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mrsman2018 · February 2016

That's great you have a supportive boss. I have two jobs and I feel I may tell one of them soon. But I just started another job today and will wait three or so months to tell her. I am so bloated right now that I actually look pregnant. I am not a small girl, but someone asked me today if I was pregnant. Gulp.

AshleyGemini24 · February 2016

I told my boss right away. But only because I have a history of repeated MC and I work as a tech in a nursing home with several risk factors.

emmaaa · February 2016

I haven't told my boss yet but plan to around 8 weeks (after my first appointment). I work in municipal recreation which is heavily male dominated. My boss and I have a great relationship and he has two daughters so I know he will be very supportive. I had always planned to wait until after the first trimester. However, my boss has been encouraging me to go to a week long supervisor's school (in early November) and October is also when the National and State recreation conferences are, so I want to give him as much notice as possible while he prepares the upcoming budget. I also am the only staff at my facility (other than my PT assistant) so we would have to work out coverage.

DoubleAteam · February 2016

I am a caregiver at a senior living, I told my boss right away just in case MS got me during my shift, and I told some of my coworkers just so in case I decide I really really can't handle helping out a resident in the bathroom they understand why. I haven't told my family yet, but they live in different cities so I am not too worried about that unless some one post something pregnancy related to my fb page (I have a different fb page for coworkers and just close friends anyways)

wegme27 · February 2016

I told my boss right away because of appointments and working adjusted schedule if needed. He was completely supportive.

korycir · February 2016

I told a fellow coworker the other day and I'm barely over 4 weeks. I had very bad vertigo and spent over 8 hours in the ER and was almost admitted. I was just asking for their opinion because I was worried. Hoping it doesn't spread like wildfire, but it probably will. Either way, I think it's okay to tell people at work...even if there is still risk for a loss. Sometimes it's great because they can be a source of support.

krzyriver · February 2016

I always tell my boss right away because A) Nausea/bathroom trips interrupt me working B ) I usually have restrictions because of previous losses, and C) If I MC, I may need a few days off work and/or a few days of light work afterwards. In the end, it's just easier for me to be upfront right away.

_darth · February 2016

I'm in a heavily male-dominated field, so the plan was to tell my boss when I started showing. Certainly not before week 12. Now, I'm half-heartedly considering telling him around week 8, so that I can work remotely on bad days, barf in peace, and sleep through my lunch hour.

You seem to have a great relationship with your boss though. Go for it.

ashleyp625 · February 2016

I am a teacher at multiple schools, and I've told the teachers on my team at one school, and the music teacher at another. I want someone to know in case something happens. They are all willing to take my kids for a minute if I need them to. I will wait to tell my supervisor and principals until 1st tri is over, but not long after. Since I'm a music teacher, they will need as much time as possible to find someone qualified to cover for me.

strickland8052 · February 2016

Thanks everyone! I told her this morning and went great! She thought it was sweet that I was considerate enough to tell her during these other department changes (but she also said it would have been totally ok if I didn't tell her so soon.)

I am not having any MS yet, but she told me that if I do, she doesn't mind me working from home. She was really happy for me and so understsnding about everything (reminding me that she had been there too!) glad I told her early!

von1976 · February 2016

I told my boss right away because I work in a hospital and needed guidance on handling infectious diseases. I've had to tell a few of my charge nurses because we had a patient with varicella. Last shift I had to tell the charge nurse because I looked so green he was about to send me home. As a result, nearly everyone at work knows.

lilylover27 · February 2016

I am 7w3d and just had our first appointment yesterday and got to see the heartbeat! I had to leave work early for this appointment and just told my boss I had a doctor's appointment and we left it at that. I have the NT scan set up for March 23rd when I will be 12 weeks so still a little ways away but I will have to leave early again and I am wondering if he will get concerned. To give a little background info, I will be working at this company for 2 years in May, I am the office manager and most of the time it is just me in the office an occasionally my boss. We are a small business in NY so maternity leave is not something that needs to be offered due to state laws, I just have to have my job secured when I am ready to come back, he doesn't even need to pay me. All of our other employees are male and out of state, except for one other woman out of state who is past child bearing years. I know when two of our male employees wives gave birth they took a week off paid but I am not sure what will happen to me. Not to pat myself on the back but I handle everything from payroll, travel plans, assistant to our 4 other employees and main sorting house. A lot falls onto my plate but luckily physically the job is not taxing. I am just trying to figure out when to tell him and what to ask for since there are no guidelines set in place. Our older female employee works remotely out of her home from a different state so I don't know if that would be an option, since I do the book keeping and budgeting I think he would prefer to come to the office when needed and converse with me. Guess we will see how it goes!

Edit: To add another whole level to this, the industry I am in my husband works in also and my boss knows my husband well. My BIL also works for my company as well (started after me) so everything is very overlapped here. Only good news is when I need to take off is usually when business for our starts to slow down so that's a positive.

sportiegrl1213 · February 2016

I told my boss and supervisor right away. They are more like family and they are very supportive.

CaptainPhasma · March 2016

Bumping this thread because while I am not close to my boss, I work in Healthcare and think I might have to tell my company sooner rather than later due to risk factors from patients with infectious diseases, which is something I hadn't even considered. I'm seeing my doctor this week for the 1st ultrasound and I'm considering getting a note to avoid high risk patients then but I feel weird about it. I guess I'll defer to my doctor and follow her guidence. I can manage my symptoms otherwise and I always use universal precautions but this is my first pregnancy and I don't want to put my kid at risk for a job.

celette482 · March 2016

@CaptainPhasma definitely talk to your doctor. My mom was in residency when I was born- pathology- and she loves to talk about climbing up on her lab stool the day she went into labor with me. I can only imagine what I was exposed to, but things turned out okay.

BahamaRia · March 2016

OP I'd go ahead and tell her. Doing so now is considerate especially with the recent changes plus she sounds very understanding.

I told the 2 ladies I work with in my immediate office only because I feel like I'm eating and running to the bathroom 24/7. We had a dinner after work this Friday and one of them blurted it out to our whole department. She looked awful once she realized that she just announced it, she was aware I hadn't told my boss, so I've no hard feelings. But I've only been on my job since December. I wasn't ready to tell my boss just yet especially because I likely won't return after birth but do want to be able to use my short term disability. I'm just trying to figure out how everything works.

Blonde1817 · March 2016

I think I am going to end up telling my boss early so we can figure out the daycare situation. Right now I work Tuesday-Saturday, so I'd only need 4 days of care, but I'm hoping to be able to cut out one more day. So first I need to know if that's possible, and second, a couple of the daycares we like only do MWF for the three days a week, so I need to check on that. She's a mom, so I know she'll be super supportive. I may end up telling my other coworkers too. I don't think they'll be surprised at all. When I got my new SUV, everyone commented on how it was a family car *wink wink*. I like and trust everyone I work with, plus they're all therapists, medical professionals, and/or moms themselves, so I know that if anything does go wrong I'll have great support!

toastybecca · March 2016

I told my boss at 5 weeks because she walked into my office when I was on the phone with the nurse at my PCPs office, crying. I was in Costa Rica in January and came back sick and qualified for the Zika virus testing (scary,huh) so figured I'd tell her what I was dealing with. Being that she's a social worker, she was more than happy and awesome about the whole thing. Still waiting on the Zika results but I'm not too worried about it. Trying to just be in the moment - anxiety isn't going to help, right!?

emmaaa · March 2016

I ended up telling my boss right around 8 weeks. We were preparing the budget for our next fiscal year and we had a lot of money budgeted for me to do go to a week long school, conferences, and training in October and November. I would also need extra hours for my PT assistant to cover while I am out. He was very supportive, as expected, and agreed to keep it quiet until I'm ready to announce.

Taffyt · March 2016

I went ahead and told mine but asked she keep it confidential. She appreciated me sharing the news early and then opened up with her experiences with her pregnancies. I wanted her to be aware that there will be Dr appts that I will need to go to and also so she can also plan forward for the end of the year as well.

mrsman2018 · March 2016

von1976 Hi there. I work in a hospital too and I go into isolation rooms wearing gloves and gown and sometimes a face mask. I have not told my boss yet at work but a few nurses know and they have never told me I can't go in the rooms. Some of the diseases are c diff and MRSA. Do you still go in? When I do need help in rooms, there are other Health Care Aides to help with lifts and turns.

CaptainPhasma · March 2016

"According to the CDC (Center for Disease Control) pregnant health care workers should be restricted from caring for patients with the following diseases. These patients should also be isolated."

Syphilis
Rubella
Mumps
Measles
Chickenpox (if mother not immune)
Mycobacterium tuberculosis (TB)
Cytomegalovirus*
Ebola
Parvovirus B19 (Fifth's Disease)
Listereosis

*CMV is common in kiddos and therefore daycare workers

@littlewillie2016 From what I understand MRSA is only an issue close to delivery as it can be a risk for C-section or episiotomy recovery, so wash with Hibiclens or another antimicrobial around that time

seadana · March 2016

I told my boss and the volunteer manager at another nonprofit I volunteer for early (6 weeks) and I'm glad I did- I've already needed to take it into consideration more than once!

At work, we're writing a fisheries grant proposal and just today I suggested we move one grant deliverable from December 2016 to March 2017 to accommodate my "schedule" (when I will have been back from maternity leave for a month or so) and she agreed without further elaboration.

My volunteer work involves a lot of SCUBA diving- with the first dive of the season coming up April 9... When the volunteer manager asked if I was going to sign up for the 9th, instead of looking like a flake and making up excuses, I just decided to tell her straight.

AnneWhale · March 2016

I told my boss early because I teach acting at night and also have my morning sickness at night. I thought I would have liked the support and understanding from him. It made my life soo much easier and he now asks me before every class if I'm feeling okay. He came to rescue me one day when I was too ill. My husband told his boss early to because they make their schedules really early. He wanted to make sure they didn't schedule him out of town to close to my due date. Our families still don't know. .. but our bosses do!

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