July 2015 Moms

MIL Rant

Sorry, but I need to get something off my chest. We just scheduled my son's baptism & called our parents to let them know the date. Why does my MIL automatically think she should be the one to stay in our only guest room while my parents & DHs dad & stepmother stay in hotel? We don't have friends & family here, so anyone coming will be from out of town. She has no consideration for any one else!! If I say something to DH, he just says I don't like his mom. It's not really true but crap like this makes me not like her.

Re: MIL Rant

  • Definitely complicated, but I'm definitely right with you. It's your parents and tell him you want them to be with your little one during that time. Your husband has to compromise with you and let him know how you feel, why can't your parents stay and your mil can. I hope everything works out and let us know how everything goes! Just enjoy your son's baptism and don't let this things ruin it for you and your family! Keep us updated mama! 
  • Thank you. She puts a guilt trip on my DH and always says she can't afford things, so he doesn't think she should have to pay for a hotel for 2 nights. And that may be true, but it never even crosses her mind to think about the other grandparents. And it irritates me that he doesn't see anything wrong with it either. 
    I just need to try to stay positive for those two days and hope she doesn't decide to extend her stay. I really don't want her to cause me anxiety during a special occasion for my son or cause tension between me and my husband (which usually happens).
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  • I think she is being selfish, but maybe she is lonely as well. I completely understand wanting that time with your family, but she is family too and would be all alone in a hotel. You could always schedule more outings with your parents while they are there. Good luck and I hope you get it all worked out to enjoy the visit. 
  • I have an issue with mines too due to his baptism. She is planning things like if its her party and then to top it off inviting people who are not related when she knows we have 170 people and my mom is cooking everything while she sits there and tries to look pretty. Ugh 
  • Is she a nice person? Or is she obnoxious? If it's the latter I would just pay for her to stay in a hotel like everyone else, you can tell her the baby would keep her up all night and you want her to get some rest. Then everyone is staying in a hotel, totally fair. If she's nice and you feel bad about her being alone in a hotel (sounds like the others are married) then just suck it up I guess, make sure next time like for LO's 1st birthday it's your parents who get to stay at the house. Tell your DH that's the compromise.
  • Thanks ladies. She is bringing my SIL with her (she is an adult as well, not a child), so she wouldn't be alone in the hotel. Is she a nice person?? That's actually a but difficult for me to answer. She acts nice, but will make underhanded comments when my DH isn't around & I really hate the guilt trip she puts on him. If I say something, he says I'm overreacting or misunderstood. We are just totally different people. She is very entitled & thinks her life is harder than anyone else. She also has NO BOUNDARIES, & that drives me nuts!

    And (fortunately) my son sleeps through the night so I can't use that as an excuse for her to not stay here. If anything she will be the one keeping him awake. 

    It's about 6 weeks away, so I can't let myself stress about it & just do whatever is best for my son once the weekend gets here. Hopefully I can keep myself in check once she gets here.
  • Does your MIL make other assumptions? Some people have to stay in a hotel...can you choose? Tell your MIL that last time she stayed with you so this time someone else does? Some family members just need direct communication sometimes. Here is an article that might be helpful. Hope things settle down. It is good to vent sometimes.
  • Could she stay on a blow up mattress or on a couch in your house? If you tell her your parents are going to stay in your guest room but she's able to sleep on a blow up mattress in your house she may choose the hotel herself
  • Since it's two nights maybe the best compromise is to let her stay one of the nights and your family stay the other night. 
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