Worried about not feeling baby (loss mentioned)

jacmkelley · February 2016

Ok, totally silly I'm sure. As I'm 15w4d along and still am not feeling much movement. This will be my second and I have obviously read and heard other moms on their second, third and so on pregnancies feeling the baby sooner. Sometimes I feel small movement inside but nothing outside. I'm not aching, cramping, bleeding or anything. I just worry that I haven't yet felt the baby moving without a doubt in my mind. I feel things and kind of chalk them up to gas etc... I go to check up Monday. And I'm just getting more and more anxious because we had a loss in August and I just worry that because I haven't felt much yet I've lost this baby too. It just kind of has me on edge.
I should throw out the disclaimer here that my loss in August was at 11w and I had zero bleeding cramping etc... We went to an apt and the baby had stopped growing over a week before that. So my experience with a loss is not cramping, bleeding etc... It's a little different than what one might expect.

Any other STMs experiencing the same?

ladipale · February 2016

With my 2nd pregnancy (I'm on 3rd now) - I didn't feel a lot of movement until close to 20 weeks... turns out my placenta was anterior (in the front) so it took longer to feel baby. I felt the first by 16 weeks for sure. Hang in there.

jamiesc58 · February 2016

I have had 3 children so far and it was at least 20 weeks until I felt them much at all.

bananers · February 2016

My placenta with DS was anterior as well and I didn't feel him until around 20 weeks.

Also, it's totally normal to not be feeling anything yet at 15 weeks, and definitely normal to not feel anything from the outside. If I remember correctly, that wasn't until around 23-25ish weeks last time.

But I totally get the PGAL brain. It's scary and can send your mind to dark places. Monday is very soon! You might also want to think about getting your own Doppler. I know that saved my sanity in between appointments.

jacmkelley · February 2016

@bananers I've thought about it. Maybe after Monday's appt. I'll ask where my placenta is and see what she says. If it's anterior will it effect hearing a HB? Because if it does I definitely will refrain from buying one. That will freak me out if I can't hear the HB. With our loss in August the they used one at the checkup and they couldn't find it. So I have a love hate for those things! It'd be so nice to hear but I know I would lose it if I couldn't find it.

jacmkelley · February 2016

Thank y'all for the comfort! It does feel reassuring to know its not completely abnormal that I'm not feeling much.

Bookhousegirl · February 2016

I'm a second time mom, 14w tomorrow, and I haven't felt anything at this point. I may have felt something, but I also chalk it up to gas most of the time. I totally get the fear as I also had a loss in October with no real signals. It's so hard to not get wrapped up in that thinking!

jacmkelley · February 2016

@Bookhousegirl it really is! I seriously feel like I have not fully enjoyed this pregnancy or even felt super attached. I'm so afraid of what could happen instead of living in the moment. I love this little guy, Don't get me wrong. I just think once I feel the baby and know what we are having I'll feel more at ease and let myself feel more attached. Who knew a loss could effect even your perfectly normal healthy pregnancies?!

Jengle77 · February 2016

Get a doppler! I am a totally anxious mom in between apps. I use my doppler every night and only for like 3 seconds. As soon as I hear the heartbeat, I turn it off and go to sleep knowing that I have another day with my baby! Hang in there!

ChloeSmith · February 2016

This Is my 3rd child and we also had a loss in July, no bleeding, no cramping, just no heart beat.

My husband bought me a Doppler at 14 weeks with this pregnancy, and it has saved me! I'm not as worried anymore. And I love hearing her little heart beating away at night. It's so reassuring. Also haven't felt any movement yet.If you can I would advise getting one for ease of mind. Good luck for Monday

bananers · February 2016

jacmkelley said:

@bananers I've thought about it. Maybe after Monday's appt. I'll ask where my placenta is and see what she says. If it's anterior will it effect hearing a HB? Because if it does I definitely will refrain from buying one. That will freak me out if I can't hear the HB. With our loss in August the they used one at the checkup and they couldn't find it. So I have a love hate for those things! It'd be so nice to hear but I know I would lose it if I couldn't find it.

I had an anterior placenta with DS and found the HB via home Doppler at 14 weeks, so if it does make it harder to find, you're far enough along that you should be able to regardless.

If you're worried about not being able to find it, get a good high quality one (you can get the Sonoline B from fetaldoppler.net for $37 and free shipping), and watch a lot of YouTube videos on finding it ahead of time. Maybe even have your OB show you how to find it.

FWIW, it's never taken me more than a few seconds to find it, with the exception of the OB appointment where we found out the baby was gone last pregnancy - so I totally understand your love/hate relationship with dopplers. I had a bit of PTSD the first time I tried it on my own this pregnancy, but overall I've found it incredibly reassuring for those freak-out moments where you've convinced yourself the baby has died.

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

I'm a FTM but have experienced a loss. I was a huge fan of the at home Doppler I purchased because I found the heartbeat two weeks ago right after my appointment. But since then I haven't been able to find it at all. I hear tons of movement sounds in there but don't know if it's baby or if it's gas because I can't find a heartbeat. So I'm suddenly not a fan of at home dopplers. I've now convinced myself my baby is dead when it's probably fine and I just can't find the heartbeat again. I'll be 14 weeks on Monday.

bananers · February 2016

@JournoGrl23 when is your next appointment? Maybe your OB can squeeze you in for a sanity check.

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

@bananers that's a good idea. I've already called my OB but got the office's answering machine, so I'm guessing they took Friday off. I've been panicking lately due to my PGAL brain. My next appointment is March 1.

bananers · February 2016

@JournoGrl23 that's too long to wait! I'd call first thing Monday and ask if they can see you. Most doctors I've dealt with are incredibly understanding when it comes to PGAL brain. xo

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

@bananers I agree that it's too long to wait! My OB unserstands I'm scared but because I had an early miscarriage she thinks I'm at no risk for another and should stop worrying by now. I hope that doesn't prevent her from seeing me.

bananers · February 2016

I hope so too. The PGAL brain never goes away completely. It gets better after you pass your loss milestone, but there's just something about knowing how it feels to be on top of the world and then having it taken away from you - it affects you on some level forever.

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

@bananers I felt much better after I passed my loss milestone and then had my first ultrasound. But I still can't stop the panic every time I feel a new sensation or can't find the heartbeat on the Doppler. I don't think I could handle going through all that again.

bananers · February 2016

^liking in commiseration. PGAL sucks.

Duffgurl · February 2016

With my very 1st I didn't feel movement till 20weeks or so. Everyone is different.

AjaH4 · February 2016

This is my 5th baby, and I've had a loss. Honestly, sometimes I used to just act super worried and go to the ER if it was the weekend and I couldn't get into my Dr. I really didn't care if anyone thought I was crazy. I sometimes needed peace of mind at 2am. And they would hook me up right then and there, and I would go home happy.

jacmkelley · February 2016

@JournoGrl23 I agree with @bananers you need to call your doc just for grins. It will make you at least feel better! I couldn't handle that.

@AjaH4 I totally have done that too, but much earlier on in the pregnancy.

riveridgional · February 2016

@JournoGrl23 When my OB first found baby's heartbeat it was pretty far over to the right. So, when I got my doppler in, I kept trying to look where she found it, and I didn't find it for 3 weeks. I just kept hearing my own heartbeat. Before giving up for good (I was seriously going to throw it in the trash), I found it in line with my belly button, slightly to the right, ans jus abI've my pubic bone (12 weeks). No clue what made me play around with it there. I also have to push my at home doppler further into my stomach and tilt it much further down toward the pubic bone than my OB. I was just finding it earlier this evening and was shocked how much more I had to dig into my stomach. I just had an OB appt yesterday, and she just places it there and we can hear it. Also, I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow, and I still place my doppler around the same spot as 12 weeks to hear it.

Just wanted to give you what I have to do in case it helps you find it. Good luck, and I would definitely call your OB if you still can't find it to get some peace of mind.

Also, what does the movement sound like? When I hear baby move, it sounds like "bloop" and occasionally like a record scratching. I'm pretty positive that those sounds are baby movements since I'll hear the heartbeat, then hear the sounds and lose the heartbeat and have to find it again. Does that sound like the movements you're hearing?

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

@jacmkelley I definitely will. I actually tried calling today but only got the office answering machine so I guess they decided to take a day off. I'll be calling as soon as I wake up on Monday.

@riveridgional The first and only time I've found the heartbeat was at 12 weeks right after my last OB appointment. It was on the very far right side right and really far down. I, too, had to really press it in there and at an angle in order to hear it. I've tried that location since then and get nothing. I've been hoping it's just because the baby moved, but I can't find it anywhere else either. The "movement" I'm hearing is a thumping sound, which can sometimes be soft and sometimes be really loud to where it hurts my ears (you have to wear headphones with the doppler I have). Also, there's sometimes a brief whooshing sound. When I first tried to listen at 12 weeks and found the heartbeat, I heard those sounds as well, but they were very few and far between. Since then they've been increasing in frequency and today the sounds were constant on my left side. I always thought they were the baby moving and that put my mind at ease. But since I haven't heard the heartbeat, I'm jumping to the conclusion that it was digestion, even though I don't know what that sounds like either through the doppler.

jacmkelley · February 2016

@JournoGrl23 what brand/type of Doppler do you have? The ones I've seen that use headphones are on the cheaper end and I've read a ton of reviews that say the headphones are hard to hear anything with until 25 weeks on. You should look into the brand and read reviews! Maybe it's just not one that you can use for this early on? Idk. Just a thought!

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

@jacmkelley I got the Wusic from Amazon. The one time I found the heartbeat it sounded nice and clear and it was really fast so I knew it wasn't mine, which I'm able to find every time. It had really good reviews, but I do think it's considered one of the cheaper ones.

riveridgional · February 2016

I have the Wusic too. Based on videos I've seen online, it's much harder to hear the heartbeat with the Wusic and harder to grip it to really angle it properly (at leat this earmy on). Also, the connection to the earphones is not very good. Sometimes only 1 side of the earphone works and other times everything is very distant. I've had to start hooking it up to my husband's jambox to really be able to hear it.

jacmkelley · February 2016

Ok! Bought a fetal Doppler and found heartbeat. I feel so relieved! Lol, we do have appt tomorrow but someone was selling theirs for 15 bucks and I couldn't pass it up! Y'all were totally right and I should've bought one forever ago!

bananers · February 2016

jacmkelley said:

Ok! Bought a fetal Doppler and found heartbeat. I feel so relieved! Lol, we do have appt tomorrow but someone was selling theirs for 15 bucks and I couldn't pass it up! Y'all were totally right and I should've bought one forever ago!

Yay! What a relief!

Ya Never Know · February 2016

With my first, I started feeling flutters at 14 weeks, with this one, I'm 15 weeks along and haven't felt a thing. I had a doctor's appointment last week and the doctor couldn't find a heartbeat with the doppler, but he also said that at this point, if the baby is sitting down really low, then it can still be difficult to get a heartbeat with a doppler. When I had my ultrasound at 12 weeks, the u/s tech also said that my placenta is in the front, so it's likely that I won't feel anything until later into this pregnancy.

HeyStVincent · February 2016

riveridgional said:

@JournoGrl23 When my OB first found baby's heartbeat it was pretty far over to the right. So, when I got my doppler in, I kept trying to look where she found it, and I didn't find it for 3 weeks. I just kept hearing my own heartbeat. Before giving up for good (I was seriously going to throw it in the trash), I found it in line with my belly button, slightly to the right, ans jus abI've my pubic bone (12 weeks). No clue what made me play around with it there. I also have to push my at home doppler further into my stomach and tilt it much further down toward the pubic bone than my OB. I was just finding it earlier this evening and was shocked how much more I had to dig into my stomach. I just had an OB appt yesterday, and she just places it there and we can hear it. Also, I'll be 15 weeks tomorrow, and I still place my doppler around the same spot as 12 weeks to hear it.

Just wanted to give you what I have to do in case it helps you find it. Good luck, and I would definitely call your OB if you still can't find it to get some peace of mind.

Also, what does the movement sound like? When I hear baby move, it sounds like "bloop" and occasionally like a record scratching. I'm pretty positive that those sounds are baby movements since I'll hear the heartbeat, then hear the sounds and lose the heartbeat and have to find it again. Does that sound like the movements you're hearing?

The "bloop" and scratching sounds are the baby moving, but I'm not sure when you can start hearing those extra movements on doppler or if placental location affects it at all. Around my 16-week appointment (last pregnancy) the NP was having trouble finding the baby's heartbeat, but she said she knew the baby was being really active due to all the noise we were getting (and that's exactly what those movement noises sounded like - bloops and scratches). Baby will likely move around a lot, so if you find the heartbeat in one location one day, it may not be in the same spot the next time you check.

JournoGrl23 · February 2016

@HeyStVincent My OB heard the baby move at my 12 week appointment. It made a swishing sound. But she has a really high tech doppler. I hear similar sounds with mine but no heartbeat. Not sure if it's the baby though since my doppler isn't that good and I can't even hear a heartbeat.

HeyStVincent · February 2016

It's probably a very nice doppler. I used to work at a community health clinic (read: low funding) and our providers wouldn't even attempt the heart beat with the doppler we had because it was unlikely to pick up the heart beat at that early of a gestation. I would give it a few more weeks.

HeyStVincent · February 2016

I should also note that the earliest they would attepmt to listen fora heartbeat was 14 weeks.

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