This is hard. (Long vent)

ramfam2507 · February 2016

I've had a rough night, Nico was up at 1,3,5 and then my alarm went off at 6 for work. I need to vent.

So some of you may have noticed me referring to DH as douche husband.

When I was 35 weeks pregnant, I found out he was having an affair. After confronting him, he promised he was done with her, that he was sorry, and blah blah blah. All the stress caused my blood pressure to skyrocket and my ob moved up my scheduled repeat cs but I went into labor at 38 weeks(dec 5).

Little by little, more info started coming out. I found out he had a secret phone he was talking to her on(wtf?!)and that he was still with her.

A few days before Christmas, I found out the whore is pregnant. Yup. Merry Christmas to me. Her due date is 8/8, my birthday is 8/7 and our anniversary is 8/9(wtf again)

He said that he wants both of us(wtf?!?!) sorry but you can't have your cake and eat it too. I kicked him out the day after Christmas so that DD, 5 years old, could have one last Christmas with her loser dad.

Anyways, the point of this whole post is to say that this is hard you guys. This being a single mom thing is so incredibly hard. I've moved down to Florida to stay with my parents which I am incredibly grateful for buts it's still hard. I just went back to work and I'm so exhausted. Nico is EBF so I'm up at night feeding him. I go to work, come home and DD and Nico are needing my love and attention. I shove food in my mouth with Nico on my boob and then it's time for baths, and washing my pump parts and bedtime.

I just want to be able to watch the bachelor(or my other shows) without feeling guilty for needing to sleep!

This is hard y'all, there's not enough of me to go around. Oh, and I really hate my soon to be ex husband.

thatgirlree24 · February 2016

Sorry you're going thru this. I wish some men would realize what they're doing is wrong and get their shit together before it's too late. Since you're staying with your parents, could they help take the burden off you for a while or do they watch your kids all day?

groovylocks · February 2016

I'm glad you left him. Cheaters cheat because they get bored with routine, not because you're not good enough. He'll be cheating on her before you know it.

ramfam2507 · February 2016

thatgirlree24 said:

Sorry you're going thru this. I wish some men would realize what they're doing is wrong and get their shit together before it's too late. Since you're staying with your parents, could they help take the burden off you for a while or do they watch your kids all day?

They watch the kids while I'm at work so I feel guilty asking them to watch them more. My moms knows I'm struggling and has kept the kids before and made me go do something but I hate asking if she doesn't offer.

groovylocks said:

I'm glad you left him. Cheaters cheat because they get bored with routine, not because you're not good enough. He'll be cheating on her before you know it.

Word around town is that she's a big whore. I'm kinda hoping the baby isn't his so that he'll be left with absolutely no one.

groovylocks · February 2016

calbin00 said:

thatgirlree24 said:

Sorry you're going thru this. I wish some men would realize what they're doing is wrong and get their shit together before it's too late. Since you're staying with your parents, could they help take the burden off you for a while or do they watch your kids all day?

They watch the kids while I'm at work so I feel guilty asking them to watch them more. My moms knows I'm struggling and has kept the kids before and made me go do something but I hate asking if she doesn't offer.

groovylocks said:

I'm glad you left him. Cheaters cheat because they get bored with routine, not because you're not good enough. He'll be cheating on her before you know it.

Word around town is that she's a big whore. I'm kinda hoping the baby isn't his so that he'll be left with absolutely no one.

Isn't your ex kind of a big slut too though? I mean God knows how many there were or are. He's probably crawling.

I feel sorry for women and men who think a cheater "chose" them and that's why they cheat. They're a distraction at best. It could have been almost anybody. She's a moron if she thinks he loves her. He's a whore too. Don't be afraid to slap that word right on his nasty ass.

Sorry... Maybe I'm being harsh about the father of your kids but... Just get std tested.. I'm pissed it happened to you at Christmas and with a new baby and I'm calling out his slutty behind.

threatlevelmidnight · February 2016

I'm sorry I can't imagine what you are going through. I don't have any advice, but know that you are in my prayers and I'm sending you some creepy internet hugs!

ramfam2507 · February 2016

groovylocks said:

Isn't your ex kind of a big slut too though? I mean God knows how many there were or are. He's probably crawling.

I feel sorry for women and men who think a cheater "chose" them and that's why they cheat. They're a distraction at best. It could have been almost anybody. She's a moron if she thinks he loves her. He's a whore too. Don't be afraid to slap that word right on his nasty ass.

Sorry... Maybe I'm being harsh about the father of your kids but... Just get std tested.. I'm pissed it happened to you at Christmas and with a new baby and I'm calling out his slutty behind.

No, not harsh, I will get tested. And he's for sure a slutty whore man. The thought of him disgusts me.

ramfam2507 · February 2016

alyssaleighw said:

I'm sorry I can't imagine what you are going through. I don't have any advice, but know that you are in my prayers and I'm sending you some creepy internet hugs!

I creepily accept your creepy internet hugs!

phillipsbr · February 2016

I have so much respect for you!! This IS hard and I think a lot of people would take the easy route and stay with him. Good for you! You have your two sweet babies and your parents there for you and in the long run, this hard stage of sleep deprivation and monotony and guilt is short-lived. Enjoy the little things and moments with your new baby while you can and don't waste another second thinking about the you-know-who's!

kdoak2015 · February 2016

I really feel for you, I can't imagine doing it alone. When my DH works a lot and isn't around to help I feel like it's really hard and wouldn't want to do it by myself. Your a strong women and a great mom. Do want you can to keep yourself happy and healthy and know you are doing the best for your children.

dec15mum · February 2016

I'm so sorry you're going through this, your husband is a real asshole and more likely than not he'll do the same thing to this girl.
Hope you're okay and I hope things get better!!

caketimes · February 2016

This sounds like such an awful situation, but getting out, kicking him to the curb and accepting the help of your parents is courageous stuff.

It seems like now is not the time to care for you, but it IS! I have advice, but if you don't want it or it seems banal, skip to the creepy hugs at the end of this post. See if you can schedule in one night a week of you time, pre programmed to avoid the guilt of having to ask each week. You need to recharge your batteries, maybe find a support group or just go to the movies.

I hope it works out, but you already took the most difficult step, so the only way to go from here is up. Creepy hugs!

blended10 · February 2016

Ugh that is awful. Totally sucks. What an a-hole.
Does your 5-yr-old have any friends or cousins in the area? I have to say I'm watching my friends kid (who is friends with my kid) & it's like they aren't even here. I set them up with some crafts, ordered pizza- bam watching junky tv & folding laundry while the baby naps! It's amazing.
Being a single mom, I can only imagine, has got to be crazy hard. I'm so sorry for the jerk. He's incredibly selfish & not worth your time anyway. Hope things get better soon!!

hrausch1 · February 2016

I kind of been in the same situation. Me and my now SO we're on and off for 2 years and while we were off he "apparently" got this crazy slut pregnant in Dec of '14 which put her due date at Sept 9 2015 and we got back together in Jan of '15 and I got pregnant at the end of April beginning of may. I put "apparently" in quotes because it is now February more than a year later and she still hasn't given birth though still claiming him to be the father. Bitch we weren't even in the same state as you to have conceived to be pregnant now. Obviously she's not pregnant or it's definitely not his. But I'm still pissee at him to even be put in that possible situation. Even though I forgive him and love him and he doesn't associate with her, I still don't forget the betrayal and it's hard sometimes to move past it but I'm trying cause I really want to make it work and move forward. And he's a really good father to our son.

nz113 · February 2016

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I had some advice but all I can say is "this too shall pass." You're an awesome mama and you're doing the best you can. Keep telling yourself that and keep your head up.

misamima · February 2016

Oh, I'm so sorry. I can't even imagine. I feel like I need to shut my mouth now with how hard I thought I had it. Another creepy internet hug, if you'll take it.

Vent away as much as you want here.

groovylocks · February 2016

hrausch1 said:

I kind of been in the same situation. Me and my now SO we're on and off for 2 years and while we were off he "apparently" got this crazy slut pregnant in Dec of '14 which put her due date at Sept 9 2015 and we got back together in Jan of '15 and I got pregnant at the end of April beginning of may. I put "apparently" in quotes because it is now February more than a year later and she still hasn't given birth though still claiming him to be the father. Bitch we weren't even in the same state as you to have conceived to be pregnant now. Obviously she's not pregnant or it's definitely not his. But I'm still pissee at him to even be put in that possible situation. Even though I forgive him and love him and he doesn't associate with her, I still don't forget the betrayal and it's hard sometimes to move past it but I'm trying cause I really want to make it work and move forward. And he's a really good father to our son.

Yeah but on the bright side, he didn't cheat. I had an on again off again once and when we were off, I absolutely thought it well within my rights to see other people. Of course I wouldn't have gone out with anybody who couldn't do basic pregnancy math... he dodged a bullet with that weird chick.

ramfam2507 · February 2016

Thanks you guys, I know I'm better off without him. All your responses made me tear up. Hugs to all of you!

dmendo01 · February 2016

@calbin00 so sorry you're having to deal with this. I do want to send an infinite amount of support and creepy internet hugs. For what it's worth you are amazing! And you're doing an amazing job! Don't ever doubt that! Sorry your baby daddy is a super douche. Karma will come back to him I'm sure of it, but in the mean time...id say try not to feel bad about the help from your parents! I'm sure they know you need it and don't mind to help even if they don't always offer. Even just to take a bath or shower or go for a drive! And yes always feel free to vent.

blended10 · February 2016

You know how I look at parent help? Imagine that sweet baby of yours needed help with their sweet baby? What an amazing gift for all of you!

ramfam2507 · February 2016

blended10 said:

You know how I look at parent help? Imagine that sweet baby of yours needed help with their sweet baby? What an amazing gift for all of you!

You are 100% right! I know I would do anything for my babies if they needed it.

This morning my mom scared the crap out of me because I was sleeping and she was rubbing my arm to wake me up(sound on my phone broke so I can't use my alarm and I asked her to wake me up at 6). She told me she had been watching me sleep for the last 15 minutes (kinda creepy but I guess parents never stop staring at their kids sleep) and couldn't find a way to wake me up because I was sleeping so soundly.

Anyways, she offered to take the kids tomorrow morning so I could sleep in and I plan on taking full advantage of it. This mama needs some sleep!

amye02 · February 2016

Majorly proud of you for being strong enough to kick the douchenozzle to the curb and for accepting help. I hope his ho cheats on him and gives him crabs!

rmarie13 · February 2016

blended10 said:

You know how I look at parent help? Imagine that sweet baby of yours needed help with their sweet baby? What an amazing gift for all of you!

This! Always remember this!

I was raised by a single mom. She's amazing. She worked 3 jobs to support us. She taught us to have a strong work ethic. When I look back I'm forever grateful and it amazes me that she did it all alone. You'll get through it and your kids will be so much better off because of your hard work and smart decisions.

*edited bc I accidentally deleted the first part

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