Are you sharing your induction date?

elledriver88 · February 2016

Just found out that I will be induced at 39 weeks due to rising blood pressure and symptoms of pre-eclampsia. This along with the fact that I already have a nice big baby, my doctor didn't see the need to let me go further than this.

My question is, now that I have this date I don't know if I will share it with people. DH and I have already discussed telling my parents because they have proven to be good secret keepers, but is it weird not to tell anyone else? I'm going to have to go along with the charade of "not knowing" when it could happen. I was thinking of not telling many people to try and avoid the calls texts and visits on the day of. Also, this might be a silly reason but we wanted to be the ones to announce the baby when we are ready, and sharing my induction date with too many people might cause one of them to make it Facebook official before I can.

Just curious if anyone else is in this boat and if they are keeping it quiet or not.

2-Step · February 2016

I'm having a scheduled c-section. I've shared it with everyone who asks. I think it totally depends on your dynamic with your friends and family and how comfortable you are setting boundaries. We have our boundaries firmly in place and we don't feel bad about it one bit. People can call and text all they want on the day of the birth, but neither of us will respond until we are ready. No one is going to get a photo of your child or in the door of the hospital without your permission. We've told people we will let them know when they can visit and we will be telling the hospital not to let anyone in until we say so. We've said it might be that evening, but we will see how we feel and be in touch when we are ready, it might be the next day or later. Our family is good with it, although I know some would like more control. I have zero problem turning uninvited visitors away and we did it with my first child because I had a rough labor and just didn't feel like seeing people. If they show up unannounced and we don't want to see them then I think its a good lesson for them on social boundaries!

If you feel weird about it then I don't think it is wrong at all to keep it to yourself. It is your life and your baby and it's not a circus event! Do what you think will make the day the least stressful for you and have the best outcome. People are nuts these days with wanting to be in the hospital the second a child arrives while the mother is still recovering. I don't get it. Stick to what you want and you won't regret it.

Technically you still don't know when it will happen. You could go into labor before then. I tell people - oh i have a c-section scheduled for this date, if I don't go into labor before then, who knows!

melzseb · February 2016

If I have to have one, we won't share ahead of time.

Christine&Chris · February 2016

I have a scheduled induction date and tell people who ask how much longer that it's 'about 5 more weeks.' It's the same type of answer I give when I just have an EDD to work with. Only my parents know the day we're being admitted for an induction because they're watching my older 2. But, like someone said - no one will know when LO arrives until you tell them. This is my 3rd induction...my first took 3 days of hospital induction on pit to deliver, my second I went in late at night and delivered her in the middle of the night 5 hours later. So...I have a day I'm going in, but I have no idea what the birthdate might be - I just know it's in about 5 more weeks. :-)

elledriver88 · February 2016

Thanks all, I think I will do what I can to keep this private. We have already had some push back to the boundaries we have set for some of our family members and this is not something I'm interested in debating. I'm also doing what I can to keep calm and my stress level down between now and then.

FutureMrsCaesar · February 2016

I have never even thought of keeping it a secret (not that I'm planning to have one) but now that you mention it I think it's genius. I say tell who you want, and to everyone else just tell them your due date and add 'hopefully I'll go a little early!' if you want.

elledriver88 · February 2016

I would never have thought about it either but this pregnancy has shown me that a lot of our family members don't respect our boundaries. This is going to be my last special pregnancy moment and I want to hold onto it for as long as I can with just LO and DH. The more I think about it the more content I am leaving everyone in the dark for a little while, it won't kill them

SarahFoley725 · February 2016

If I have to be induced or have a c section I will likely only tell our parents and *maybe* a friend or two. That's my same plan for if I go into labor on my own. I don't want people texting me asking me for updates non stop. No one we know would just show up thankfully, but people may post about it on Facebook etc.

tJaffe · February 2016

I've thought about this happening and I wouldn't want to tell anyone other than my parents (my mom is photographing the birth). DHs family can't keep a secret to save their lives and know no boundaries despite attempts to make them (I'm just a huge bitch to SIL lol).

CCLow87 · February 2016

I'd only tell essential personnel (people watching my kids and dog). I don't want anyone waiting on me.

Katherine8908 · February 2016

Because of my experience with my first induction ... It took 2.5 days until baby was here if I was induced again I would only tell the people I needed to .. Last time it was just people constantly asking and it was annoying yes I know they were excited but still and some extended family came to the hospital and were there all day both days again good intentions but I didnt not like the feeling of them waiting for me like that.

Cowboycorgi · February 2016

I don't have an induction date, or a planned C section, but my husband and I have decided to not tell anyone when I go into labor.

1- I don't want to be asked about progress every hour.

2- we don't plan on having anyone visit us in the hospital, I want those 2 days all to myself (I guess DH as well)

3- We live 15mins from our birth place so we don't need any help with letting our dog out. However, if we absolutely need help I have discussed our decision with my best friend who is planning on being "on call" for our house/dog care needs and also understands our need for privacy.

4- When we announce the birth to family and super close friends we will let them know when they can stop over to see new baby. This will help if there is any NICU time, or if my vag is completely destroyed and I need some extra time to re-learn how to poop. (Dear Vagina, I'm sorry I wanted a baby more than I loved you. I promise to still love you after you look like Heath Ledgers Joker.)

fwtx5815 · February 2016

elledriver88 said:

I would never have thought about it either but this pregnancy has shown me that a lot of our family members don't respect our boundaries. This is going to be my last special pregnancy moment and I want to hold onto it for as long as I can with just LO and DH. The more I think about it the more content I am leaving everyone in the dark for a little while, it won't kill them

If you've already had problems with family respecting boundaries, then I would definitely keep this a secret.

I'm also debating whether to tell close family, we just scheduled an induction at my appointment yesterday because of PIH. Originally, our plan was to give my mom a copy of our house key ahead of time so that she can go get our dogs after a certain number of hours (whether the baby had been delivered yet or not). But we didn't plan on even letting anyone else know we checked into the hospital until several hours after birth. I really didn't want a room full of people waiting on me while I try to push a human out. Now that we know I'll be induced (unless I go into labor on my own before 2/28), I've only told my mom. I'd like to tell my dad about the induction since he travels for work, but I'm afraid his wife won't respect our wish to not have people waiting at the hospital. She's going to be at the shower that my mom is hosting this weekend so it's probably going to come out anyway. Trying to decide whether to ask my mom to keep it on the DL and just continue telling people my due date of 3/6 and add in something like, "doctor thinks I could go early!"

SarahJean1014 · February 2016

My c-section is scheduled for the end of next week and told family right away. All of our family lives on the east coast in we are in CA so I wanted to give them ample time to figure out travel plans.

For everyone else if they ask we tell them eviction day is on the 26th. In my opinion it's nice having a date to give people as it has cut down on the "any day now" text messages.

irenewslee · February 2016

I think (if I have one), we would tell our immediate family and may be a few close friends. Yes, I probably wouldn't want a whole bunch of people asking me or DH for status update. Your DH/SO should be focused on you and the baby, and not be on his phone texting other folks. It should be on a "need to know" basis.

maelic · February 2016

I might end up with an early induction date depending on how my 37w appointment goes this Friday.

I'll definitely tell family and close friends, mostly because we'll need childcare for our toddler and scheduling makes it so much easier. I went 10 days over with her and I'd much rather avoid all the "still pregnant???" texts this time around. Nobody bothered us at the hospital or when we got home and I was definitely excited to share the good news anyway.

schweitz · February 2016

I'd say it depends on you. If it were me I'd prefer not to tell anyone. You don't need the headache of people texting you and showing up or making calls while you are in the hospital until you feel ready to deal with it.

oceanchild · February 2016

i was induced with baby #2 and we absolutely did not share with anyone other than our parents (also great secret keepers). we didn't want visitors at the hospital either, so we didn't even share that she had been born at all until we got discharged and were home settled in. we just set out facebook profiles so that nobody could post on our page or tag us in any posts just in case word got out, and then enjoyed the private bonding with our new baby

elledriver88 · February 2016

Good idea with the Facebook privacy! I have turned timeline review on and will have my husband do the same just in case. I am so looking forward to the calm before the storm aka the private bonding time before the parade of visitors

ceds07 · February 2016

I would tell my family (or at least my parents and siblings which translates into my mom telling everyone anyway) but not friends or anyone else. We don't put a lot on FB so that wouldn't be a concern for me. If I had family members with boundary issues though I would definitely refrain from sharing!

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