The Wait

ngift91 · January 2016

I'm finding it extremely hard to Wait. I dnt want to wait. Both my Husband and I need to comfort each other in more ways than a hug which is about as comforting as a pat on the head right now, to be honested. Anyone else ignore that little piece of advice to wait 2-3months to TTGP? How soon did you resume intercourse after an MC? It took us five years to get to this point. We convinced ourselves that we'd never get the chance to be parents. It was devastating when we spontaneously MC at home, but we are So hopeful that if we got there once, we could get there again....

ceu · January 2016

The wait is the worst. I was only advised to wait one cycle so they could check my progesterone. I wish I would have waited a little longer, because I got pregnant the next cycle after that, and lost that baby too. Now I think we're going to wait four months to give our hearts a little rest. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hang in there. You will get through this. I know it sounds contrite, but it's true. Go easy on yourself too. Allow yourself to feel this, in whatever way you need.

m6agua · January 2016

I was advised by my doctor to wait 2-3 cycles (however the OB said no need to wait). We did NTNP the first cycle and now we are TTC. Only you and your husband can decide whats right for you.

dpjennifer · January 2016

We were only told to wait through one cycle (apparently newer research doesn't show that waiting 3 cycles for earlier MC has any benefit to trying again after the first cycle). So we're on our second cycle after MC and waiting to see what happens.

BooksForMe23 · January 2016

My doctor said to wait two weeks before having intercourse in order to prevent infection. We will be NTNP as soon as the two weeks are up.

Edited because words are hard

valleric · January 2016

I was advised to wait 2 cycles, so we used a contraceptive foam before that

monkey41 · January 2016

We were advised 3 cycles, and I will have lots of trouble convincing myself to wait that long. I'm thinking 2 periods after my d&c should be plenty. Even that is a month longer than I'd prefer, but I don't want that fear of a subsequent miscarriage being at all caused by a previous one (I don't know that's even possible)
For intercourse, we were advised 2 weeks, which is tomorrow, hallelujah! However, i have my follow-up on wednesday, and a previous gyn advised me not to have sex for 48 hrs before an appointment, so I'm making DH (and myself) wait until after that.

Pupatella · January 2016

I am so sorry for all of your losses.

The wait is so difficult!!

We had what we thought was a natural MC...some follow up blood tests showed my HCG was still rising...and I had to have surgery to remove a tubal ectopic a little over a week after we thought we MC'd. We grieved from the MC, and then grieved again from the ectopic, and it was just so emotionally draining.

My doc told us to wait just one cycle before we try again, and to wait two weeks before we resume intercourse. I got my period just 2 weeks after the ectopic removal, so I called just to make sure it was safe for us to try again. We were advised that since I got my period so early after the ectopic, to wait one more cycle before we start trying again to allow my body to rest. I almost wish I didn't call to ask because all I want to do is start trying again to begin the healing process. I almost feel stuck, like I can't move on from grieving, until we can start trying.

As hard as it is, I would follow the advice of your doctor. My DH and I are having a very difficult time waiting, but know it's what is best to allow my body to heal. I'm using this waiting time to eat as healthy as possible, and get my body into the best shape I can.

I am just crossing my fingers that we all get our rainbow babies soon. T&P.

morethancats · February 2016

I feel your pain. I had a chemical a week ago at 4w1d and I don't understand why I need to wait. Physically I'm feeling just fine, and my body is sending me strong signals to procreate! I want to be on my way to having a baby again. I just feel kind of lost and aimless now.

I'd like to say I could NTNP this month..but I chart so I know going UP would really be "trying." I'd feel awful if this happened again and I thought it might be because I didn't wait long enough. Still I'm so torn... I just feel like I should be pregnant.

cooaladoll · February 2016

My heart goes out to all of you for your losses.

I was at 6wks2days on 1/29 when I started spotting and a day later started bleeding like a regular (just slightly heavier) period with small clots. HCG testing on 2/1 and 2/3 confirmed that my levels had already dropped drastically (139 then 103) and had likely lost our baby very soon after the initial BFP on 1/17, my guess being at around 5wks (though at initial pelvic exam on 2/1 my OB had said I was about right size for six weeks, I'm assuming not an exact science without the US?).

Anyways, I just took my (hopefully) last blood draw to see if my levels have gone back to zero and just trying to wait for those results is driving me mad. I have no idea how I will force myself to wait another cycle, if need be, to try again. All my symptoms had dropped away very quickly and my body is aching to go back to that early pregnant state, and is craving those symptoms that at the time had seemed such a nuisance.

Yet it seems the worst wait will be after the next BFP, for the possibility of more heartbreak. If these last couple weeks (Gahd it seems like an eternity since then!) are any indication of how my mind stretches out time, I'm not sure how I'll deal.

zrain · February 2016

My midwife said there's no physiological reason for me to wait. She said it only depends on my emotional readiness, and if that means trying again right after my miscarriage to go for it. I track BBT and CM so accurate dating wouldn't be an issue if I did get pregnant the first cycle. Part of me feels guilty for the little one I'm miscarrying right now that I want to move on right away, but mostly I just have this strong neeeed to be pregnant again. I feel like having something to look forward to will help me get through this and I think I'm going to go with that and not wait til my next AF to start trying. That being said, like @cooaladoll pointed out, the wait after getting a BFP is going to be torturous. I've been working on practicing mindfulness and living in the present and not spending all my time worrying about what the future might bring. I'm terrible at it, but hopefully I'll get better and that wait won't be so terrifying when it comes.

ThePax89 · February 2016

Yes. I ignored the advice after my first miscarriage. I got pregnant 17 days after my loss and had a seemingly healthy pregnancy until I lost that baby at 10 weeks.

I'd recommend listening to your doctor. You have no reason to listen to a complete internet stranger (me), but losing two babies in a matter of 10 weeks has been excruciating. Of course, I do not know if trying too soon is the cause of my second loss, but I pray you don't have to go through this.

Waiting 2 months is so much better than getting pregnant, feeling sick for 10 weeks, having a d&c, and then a second d&c for retained tissue- and then having to wait another 2 months to ttc

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