1st Trimester

Finding out gender

Is anyone else torn as to whether to find out the gender or not? This is our third; we have 1 boy and 1 girl already, so we are already happy with whatever gender this baby is. Dad wants to know, and I dont. I am soooooo torn.

Re: Finding out gender

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  • I always want to know so I guess I'm team your husband?


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  • Sex. Babies sex. SEX SEX SEX.

    Not gender.

    this.
    anyways, I'm team husband. i couldn't wait to find out if our LO was a boy or girl.
  • Gosh, I wish I had the will power to wait and be surprised at delivery. But, let's face it, I dont. I know the suspense would kill me.
  • We don't find out, but that is our thing....we both agree on it.

    I have a couple of friends that have had one of each and decided they wouldn't find out for the third, if they found out for the other two. It was their compromise because one wanted to know, one didn't, they found out with the first two, and had one of each. So the final, the person who wanted to know, had to compromise for one out of the three, and they didn't find out.
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  • suchaglencocosuchaglencoco member
    edited January 2016
    I told DH that next time we'll be team green on the SEX. Seems like an amazing moment, once you know baby is ok. I'm glad we didn't do this with our first (two, twin pregnancy), but I'd love that moment to make the next pregnancy special in its own way since it won't be the first delivery for us.

    I'd try discussing why you both want it which way and if you can't decide, flip a coin and live by its ruling.
  • Not torn at all. We aren't finding out and haven't even been tempted the entire pregnancy.
  • Not torn at all - we'll be finding out.
  • I kinda need to know. that way my poor husband doesn't have to buy everything while I'm in the hospital and I can get good stuff not cheap stuff he will buy.
  • Husband wants to know, i want him to know while i dont know for a while just for fun, then i want to be suprised by a pink or blue cake or a present with baby stuff.
  • I think it would be fun to have the "it's a girl/boy" moment at birth, but I want to find before. We're going to do a reveal with our two boys with either balloons or a piñata. I want a fun family picture. DH can't come to our anatomy scan so I'll have the tech write boy/girl and put in an envelope for us to find out as a family later.


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  • charmedlifex3charmedlifex3 member
    edited January 2016

    We're both on board to find out the sex ASAP. In fact, we're doing a blood test where we can find out between 10 and 16 weeks... :)

    Someone asked me don't you want to be surprised? I said - I *will* be - just sooner.





  • We had no desire to be 'surprised' at birth. I am very much a planner, so knowing ahead of time was very important to me.  I'm also very into decorating, so I couldn't wait to decorate my nursery.  
    I think even if I wasn't so into planning and decorating, I'd still want to find out the sex of the baby.  It feels a little more 'real' being able to call him by name.....
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  • We didn't find out with our first, and nothing beats (IMO) the reveal when you have baby in your arms. Our midwife asked if we wanted to quietly find out or have a big shout out from her... we went with quiet... and then totally forgot to check what it was for probably about 2 minutes after we had baby! I think we both expected a girl, although we never really had that "feeling" one way or the other. It was truly a surprise when we held him up and realized we had a boy!

    For this one, we don't want to find out because of how awesome it was the first time, but honestly are tempted if only for the reason that we are really struggling with boy name ideas. We have NOTHING. So we are wondering if finding out and being able to focus on one type of name will alleviate some of the pressure.

    Plus, in my experience, not knowing was fun just because it drove people crazy with wonder. So many people thought I was just not telling them, but once they realized we didn't know, the fun speculation began... random guesses, baby pools, old wive's tales... you name it. And it really was a fun experience.
  • This will be our first and I am torn on finding out the sex. I always said I didn't want to know but DH does. However now that I am actually pregnant, I could see how I may want to find out as things progress in my pregnancy. I love the idea of being surprised in the delivery room though. Such a tough decision! :)
    Married: 3/21/15
    First time mom to a human but have been a puppy mamma for over 12 years :)

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  • This is our 4th and last and with 3 boys already I can't wait to find out what we are having!
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    DS1 12-31-1999, DS2 5-7-2008, DS3 8-3-2010
  • We choose to be surprised. It is really more my thing than DH. This time around he's completely forgotten how much he used to want to know haha. I offered last time for him to know if he could keep it a secret, but he said he couldn't do it. I AM a planner and kind of hate when people say that's why they have to know. Gender neutral nursery, car seat, stroller, some cheap onesies in pink and blue to last a week (people will likely buy you stuff when baby arrives), and we had a boy AND girl name chosen ahead of time. I like to be surprised because I feel it's a tradition of the generations before us and that's the way it's supposed to be. My mom didn't want to find out and she could have. In my mind there's no reason you need to know ahead of time and it seems natural to find out at birth. Not at all saying there's anything wrong of course with doing so, I was just personally strongly opposed. I still ask pregnant women if they know what they're having! It was very special to find out when I was actually being handed my baby. I also know people who have been told girl and then had a boy. That to me sounds way more difficult than just waiting.
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  • Someone once told me " why find out its one of the only surprises you get in life , why ruin it" and I've loved the thought of not knowing ever since.
  • Smax0822 said:

    Someone once told me " why find out its one of the only surprises you get in life , why ruin it" and I've loved the thought of not knowing ever since.

    Seriously? Life is full of surprises. I sure don't know the future....
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  • We figured it would be a surprise whether we found out at 20 weeks or at the birth so we found out at the 20 anatomy scan all three times.
  • We didn't find out the gender for our first two and won't for this baby either. I didn't feel tempted at all. It was fun guessing during the pregnancies. There is nothing quite like the surprise after labor and delivery. 
  • We are waiting to find out at our baby shower with a reveal cake. Everyine else attending the baby shower will know except for us. We both have kids from previous marriages so we decided to wait a little while before finding out. Good luck!
  • With our first two we found out at the anatomy scan. DH couldn't come to the anatomy scan for this baby so we had a family gender reveal party. If we have a 4th I want to be surprised at birth.


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  • This will be baby #1 for us and my husband and I want to find out the sex. The suspense would kill me, plus I want to tell family and friends boy or girl. We would want our baby shower before the baby is born, so family will know what kinds of items to buy. 
  • Years before I was ever pregnant I always said that I would want to wait for the delivery to find out the sex. Now that I am pregnant. I WANT TO KNOW. I HAVE TO KNOW. My mom is all "there are so little surprises left in the world" basically bashing me for wanting to know and she said "Well I don't want to know". But you know what?! It was a WONDERFUL surprise finding out we were pregnant! And it will be just as surprising finding out via sonogram. So, that's my thought on it. My husband agrees and that's what's best for our little family. I think it's rude when people bash others for wanting to find out sooner. Maybe I want to start buying gender specific clothes. (cute little dress for a girl...little sailors outfit for a boy, ((No bashing me))). And having to come up with on gender name works for me!

    Originally we wanted to do a gender reveal party...but now I think we will either just tell family when we see them. OR perhaps we will keep it to ourselves as our own little secret until the birth. Not sure yet though! :)

    Me: 32 | DH: 33
    Met: 2005 | Started Dating: 2009 | Married: 2013

    TTC#1: 06.2014;   BFP: 12.2015; DS Born: August 16, 2016
    TTC#2: 12.2017; BFP: 02.26.2018; CP 03.02.2018
                                BFP: 04.26.2018 DD Born: December 26, 2018
    Surprise Pregnancy #3; BFP: 01.11.2020; Due Date: September 19, 2021




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