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Rough time. In my feelings. LONG

dmendo01dmendo01 member
edited February 2016 in December 2015 Moms
So, I have posted a lot about this stuff but feeling exceptionally down right now. So DD is 6 weeks old and she is soo fussy during the day. I guess colic but I'm not sure? She doesn't cry for hours and it's not necessarily a certain time period. It's all waking hours. She will only be consoled doing one thing for MAYBE 5 minutes. Even me holding her. the only thing that consoles her longer is being nursed. If someone else has her she acts like she is STARVING (chewing hands, rooting, trying to latch onto anyone's shirt, purple crying) even if I just finished a 45 minute nursing session. So I would think cluster feeding but I can pump 6 ounces in 15 minutes so I feel like it's not that. If I nurse her if she's acting like this she will nurse for maybe 2-3 mins and then she's asleep. This makes me think comfort nursing. I know she's eating plenty due to diapers and weight gain. It feels like she's getting worse and worse about this. I feel like I can't leave my baby at all, because when I do the person I leave her with just keeps giving her expressed milk over and over every hour bc she's acting like this. She won't take the paci when she's like this either. 

It feels like no one can handle her but me and I've seriously been getting my feelings hurt. DH who is wonderful don't get me wrong, has been not very supportive in this department. We were supposed to go to our nephews birthday party Saturday a couple hours away and he said he's not going because he's "not going to listen to her cry that long, and the kids don't want to listen to it either" (speaking of my step children who are 10 and 11). This just struck a nerve and made me cry. I feel like no one can just love her through the crying like I do. Even my mom said "do you want to stay with me all night" talking to Lyncoln and then joked about how she'd be running her back to me after a few hours. MIL joked about her being a "titty baby" which is fine I'm usually not sensitive (and she is I guess) but it's breaking my heart and wearing on my feelings. DH said he knows it will get better but she is just a difficult baby right now. 

ETA - stupid phone. Anyway I spoke with pediatrician who happens to be my friend, she said that we could try probiotics because maybe it's gas and she's already on Zantac for laryngomalacia. She said we could try increasing the dose of that. This is because I told her EVERYONE Lyncoln is around keeps saying "I think she's hurting." This is driving me insane because I don't think she's hurting! She sleeps 5-7 hours at night, if she's hurting how can she sleep that long?! Or my mom thinks that I'm starving my child. Pedi mentioned possibly adding oatmeal cereal to a bottle for her if it doesn't get better. Lyncoln has to go to a sitter because I'm returning to work in 1.5 weeks and I can't hardly stand it. 

Sorry this is so long I am just having a rough week. 
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Re: Rough time. In my feelings. LONG

  • ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
    Imo, a 6 week old does not have the mouth motor (??) control to be able to handle the cereal in the milk. I looked it up when my LO was that age for the same reason. He would just cry and cry and be fussy. The only person besides myself who had the magic touch was my mother. 
    I have no advice, just well wishes and hopefully it passes soon. 
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  • Mizuiro007Mizuiro007 member
    Rant and get it out however you need. It can be rough and it's hard to understand for anyone who hasn't had it this rough. You know they can't help it but the unfortunate part is they can't communicate and just tell you what's wrong so they cry. DS cried constantly. If we went somewhere hubby and I took turns walking with him in a back room and everyone just looked at us with an awkward mix of (mostly) pity and a bit of "why are you here". We'd get the list of comments on maybe he's tired, I think he hungry, then when he'd vomit that we fed him too much or didn't burp him enough, he's gassy, he's in pain, you're too tense.

    It seemed to me that the last thing you want to hear is that your baby is difficult. It sounds so negative and why should anything negative be used in conjunction with this sweet little baby. And it's hard for other people when they aren't there all the time, they may not see those times that are better. They're going off this narrow window of time and what they're seeing then which can make a world of different in the opinions they form, for better or worse.
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  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    Yes this sounds very difficult. My husband and I trade off and support each other through the crying when possible, try to make light of it a bit etc, to keep ourselves sane. We talk a lot to her if she has been crying for a long time and that helps me a bit. I feel like I can't take her anywhere because she will cry, and people act like something is wrong but honestly I am thinking people forget what newborns can be like, and expect them to be like a 6 month old. I am giving probiotics and gripe, we have a big gas issue, I think they help some. Your baby is normal and you are taking great care of her. She would most likely continue to cry through the night if it was medical, it's most likely gut and body growing pains.
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  • LaceyH13LaceyH13 member
    6-8 weeks is a rough time. Just rest assured that it does get better and this too shall pass. You don't any 10 year olds crying all day and all night :) (that was supposed to be light-hearted, not depressing!)
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @ATolentino89 yeah this is kind of last resort. I want to do some research about it but I feel like she doesn't need it. Everything I read just says nurse them if they give hunger cues. Just hard because I know I am about to not be around her all day. when did your LO get better?
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @Mizuiro007 thanks for the kind words it really makes me feel better to know I'm not alone! I get such bad anxiety going out in public with her even though a lot of times she does well. I just feel like I wasn't prepared mentally for a baby this fussy. I had some blind thought that I'd have a fairly easy one! Ha! I just hope for her sake it is over soon. I hate to see her cry like that and yes getting everyone's input is the worst. I want to flip out on everyone to just butt out. I am not the type of person to sit at home all day so it's been rough to say the least. It's nice to know I can rant to you guys and I'm thankful for the support. 
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @laurabwalker yeah we share the load but DH works 12 hour shifts 9a-9p for 6 in a row so he goes almost a week without seeing her so I feel like a single mom those days. He is generally leaving before she wakes and gets home after I put her down. so not his fault really. I may start the probiotic drops we already do gas drops when I feel she needs it and the Zantac as I mentioned but I can't shake the feeling that she may not need any of it. The fact she sleeps for sometimes 7 hours just makes me think there can't be any pain. I nurse her before bed and in the middle of the night so surely gas would continue into these hours. I just don't want to give her all this stuff not knowing if it's even doing anything. I've been reading happiest baby on the block and I take a lot of stock into his school of thought. Just hoping maybe when she hits 8 weeks things will turn a corner.
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  • breezypipbreezypip member
    I can relate to the constant nursing. DD is not very fussy unless she's hungry, which is so often my DH barely has any time with her. She's 9 1/2 weeks and I thought this would be improving by now. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
    There was no switch or anything but it's slowly getting better. He would literally cry unless he was on my boob anytime past 6pm until we went to sleep.
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  • mltarriomltarrio member
    My girl is almsost 6 weeks old and we are going through something similar. She was 10 days late so her adjusted age is closer to 7.5 weeks, which is close to the start of a wonder week. She has been crying or fussing all day, and isn't sleeping well during the day or at night. She wants to cuddle all the time and she is acting like she wants to eat constantly, but then won't latch if I give her the breast. 

    I don't have any advice or magic tricks, but just know you are not alone. I don't like to call my girl "difficult", I just say that she is not an "easy" baby. I keep worrying that we will never be able to take her anywhere because she is crying all the time. I know these times will pass, but it is hard in the moment. Keep your head up mama.
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @mltarrio unfortunately all the rough parts feel like they are going to last forever even though I know I'll look back on this and it will feel like a very small blip in time that I will actually miss. I keep trying to remind myself that so I don't wish it away too much. I am mostly worried for anyone who is going to be watching her while I am at work. Sometimes I wonder if it's not all tied into her sleeping habits. She's way more fussy if daytime naps haven't been good. 
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  • kelseyofannekelseyofanne member
    Yea 6 weeks they are going through a lot of development mentally and physically.  It makes them fussy and it's a tough time for us!  You'll get through it!
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  • angelicac06angelicac06 member
    edited February 2016
    As I've mentioned before, I think we have the same baby. Except mine doesn't cluster feed anymore so I do a TON more walking back and forth now than I used to. The pedi tells me he's perfectly healthy so he's not taking anything. My family and friends think this is ALL behavioral,(mine and DWs fault in making) so they don't understand. And ever since that LLL lady told me I needed to dedicate my everything to finding out what's "wrong" with him, it crosses my mind if hes hurting as well daily. 

    Like Mizuiro 007 said, I'm afriad we will be that couple bouncing their baby wherever we go and get looks. Over the weekend for DWs bday we went to a restaurant for breakfast for the first time since his birth and in order to do so we dropped him off at my moms. We both felt so guilty we didn't even tell my mom where we were going. We just told her we needed to run an errand. At the restaurant I saw 2 babies in their car seats completely content and awake as their parents enjoyed their meals. I again just wanted to cry. I am starting to cry as I type this now. It takes such a toll on you. It breaks my heart because I so desperately want him to be happy.

    Little things makes me feel like hes getting better. We took him to the grocery store for the first time a few days ago fully expecting to take him out of his car seat 5 minutes into being there in attempts to stop him from crying but to our surprise he didn't. Sure I rushed and was in and out in less than 20 mins but the point is he sat in his car seat inside the grocery cart for 20s and didn't freak out, lol. 

    I also return to work in a week and a half...or maybe not as Ive ruled out day care and do not have a nanny lined up. I've chewed off all my nails in anxiety.

    I apologize I didn't mean to vent myself. I just wanted to let you know youre not alone and that " This won't last for long" by Darius Rucker makes me feel better sometimes. :wink: hang in there.
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  • Mizuiro007Mizuiro007 member
    edited February 2016
    kelseyofanne said:
    Yea 6 weeks they are going through a lot of development mentally and physically.  It makes them fussy and it's a tough time for us!  You'll get through it!
    This. DD is pretty healthy and happy but had a very rough time weeks 5-9.

    ETA she grew two inches during this time and I figure that was a lot of the fussiness.
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  • kdoak2015kdoak2015 member
    I'm with you and feel for you. My DD is slowly getting better and has good and bad days. Unfortunately the bad days SUCK! It gets easier though everyone keeps saying. My DH also works 12 hour shifts but helps with the evening feedings when he can. Just hang in there.
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  • jenEPjenEP member
    Sounds like you're doing an amazing job! My DD turned a corner this week and the fussiness died down a ton (she's 7 weeks old). It's so hard but it will get better! I know everyone says it gets better and sometimes it's hard to imagine what that means. But really, it does get better and so much more fun. Your husband and family will be able to enjoy her so much more so you won't feel like you're the only one. 
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  • ATolentino89ATolentino89 member
    @dmendo01 and @angelicac06 you are doing great. Everyone has trying moments and y'all are handling them the best y'all can. Keep your heads up as this too shall pass. 
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @angelicac06 yes it does sound like we have the same baby. I did stand in the middle of a restaurant swaying her back and forth but I was only looking at her and no one else (it was against my better judgment to take her but friends insisted so I gave in and) it was horrible and I almost cried about it bc I felt so bad for not keeping her home. My friend had a similar baby 2 years ago and I kept telling her this phase would be over and would then feel like a very short time in the scheme of things as she was really struggling with ppd. She tells me my visits and telling her that was the only thing that kept her sanity so I keep telling myself the same :) and we are amazing mommas! This is the hardest job in the world but at the same time the most rewarding. 
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member

    @kdoak2015 @jenEP @ATolentino89 thanks so much for the encouragement it really makes a difference to hear that. 
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  • groovylocksgroovylocks member
    Google Wonder Weeks. 

    Seriously. 

    Reading about wonder weeks made me kind of wish Olive was fussier. The prognosis for fussy kids, according to the wonder weeks philosophy, is incredible. I first encountered it during a period when olive was nursing every hour at night. For several weeks. And i was dying. She didn't fuss. But she just didn't stop eating. So somebody told me to find "Wonder weeks".

    I think it will make you feel better. Like, a LOT better.
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  • kelseyofannekelseyofanne member
    Mizuiro007 said:
    kelseyofanne said:
    Yea 6 weeks they are going through a lot of development mentally and physically.  It makes them fussy and it's a tough time for us!  You'll get through it!
    This. DD is pretty healthy and happy but had a very rough time weeks 5-9.

    ETA she grew two inches during this time and I figure that was a lot of the fussiness.
    Wow two inches!  I imagine that must have been at least a bit painful!  
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  • angelicac06angelicac06 member
    @ATolentino89 thank you! I will keep saying that. Every time he gives me a smile I re-energize. He's worth every second and yall are awesome support!

    @dmendo01 Yes it is! It sounds like we both have a great support system which im certain helps a lot. I am grateful for that. I'm taking LO to the outlets this weekend because he just looks too bored at home.I am mentally prepared as are my arms to carry his over 16 lb cute tushy as need be. Worse that could happen is we leave early. :smiley: I'll let you know how it goes. Wish me luck!
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  • phillipsbrphillipsbr member
    edited February 2016
    YES about "people forget what a newborn is like and expect them to be like a 6 month old"!!! It makes me feel like my baby is exceptionally fussy or temperamental too. It's all normal and will pass. Every concern I've had so far has pretty much been a phase. 
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  • mltarriomltarrio member
    I am so impressed with you mamas with fussy babies taking them out in public! I have been so nervous to take mine anywhere because of the screaming. She has been to the doctor and the car dealership, (we both had to sign some paperwork), but I am terrified to take her to the grocery store or a restaurant. I feel like a hostage and we can't even go for walks right now because of the New England winter. How do you get braver about bringing the baby out in public when all she does is cry? 
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  • blended10blended10 member
    My ds was "spirited" as we said in a previous thread & it does get better!
    dd is nearly 8 weeks & im counting the days. Fussiness sucks. But the ppl around you all judgey def make it worse! 
    I get told its bc I'm spoiling her, doing "that breastfeeding thing, again (eye roll)", she's a mamas girl...what else?? Anyway- you have plenty of company. It will get better. 
    For my first it took a while for him to want anyone but me - hopefully you'll get through it sooner. But even if it takes longer than 8 weeks or 12 weeks it WILL get better. 
    Have you tried a carrier for when you go out? It's the only way I can leave the house bc I can nurse her at the same time. 
    As for the car ride- maybe not the safest thing in the world but with ds I would sit next to him & nurse him (leaning over him in the car seat) while sk's took the front & way back seats. 
    As I type this my dd fusses & I nurse her. All. Morning. Every. Morning. 
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @mltarrio yes I get anxiety taking her places but as crazy as it sounds she actually does better than I ever expect her to. The kinderpack was a life saver because as long as we're walking she sleeps away in it. So no dinners ha but shopping can be done. 

    @blended10 the kinderpack I can't nurse in (not that talented :) ) but she does sleep in it as long as walking as mentioned above. I am crossing my fingers DD will turn a corner at 8 weeks but it may take longer as you mentioned. But it feels like we're on the down hill of the fussiness at least. 
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  • angelicac06angelicac06 member
    Success!!! He fell asleep in his stroller ! He seemed a little startled at first however I think the loud noise of the mall put him to sleep, lol. I don't know if it was just luck but it gives me hope. 
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  • dmendo01dmendo01 member
    @angelicac06 so happy for you! DD has had a good last couple of days and I figured out I can throw her in kinderpack and she really likes it so I've been using that the past few days also. 
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  • laurabwalkerlaurabwalker member
    It's always changing right? It's like whatever makes them happy you just go with it, which is me right now never leaving the couch with my sleeping baby
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