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Babies: 6 - 9 Months
Heartxshapedxboxie
member
LO is a Horrible Sleeper
Heartxshapedxboxie
member
Ok, I have had this issue since LO was born, he is an unbelievably light sleeper. When we brought him home I would swaddle and nurse him to sleep and about 10 mins or so of him sleeping I would try to put him in his crib. He always woke up and once he did this he was fully awake until I nursed him to sleep again. After a while I would try to put him in his crib while he was drowsy and tried to get him to fall asleep on his own but he would not. I let him cry it out once and it went on for over an hour. I do not want to go through that again. So to save my sanity and to get any kind of sleep I just started co-sleeping. My LO is almost 8 months now and the entire time we have had a horrible, horrible time sleeping. He has only slept for a 4 hour stretch once in this whole time, the rest of the time he wakes every 2 hours. He will not sleep unless I am right there and he is in my arms. If I am out of his eyesight for even a second during the evening he screams (I'm a BF-ing SAHM). I have tried to have my DH, my mother and my mother-in-law all to help getting LO out of my arms and into a crib and they have had no success either. Another issue is what time he sleeps. At first I tried about 7:30 as a set bedtime with a little bath and a book. LO was way too excited after the bath and book, woke every hour and stayed awake at 4. So I stopped the bath and just tried 7:30. Same issue. Since then I tried an hour later till I finally got to 11 (which I feel is way too late for a baby). If he lays down at 11 he only wakes every 1.5-2 hours until 7-8. He also will not let me move even slightly while we are in bed. If I move at all he wakes and starts screaming. I feel I am reaching my breaking point with so little sleep, bad sleep when I do sleep and 0 time to myself. I have read all over and cannot seem to find anyone that has a LO like this. He is a fairly happy baby during the day but once he gets tired all bets are off. What I wanna know is, are there other moms out there with this issue and has it gotten any easier or am I doomed to wait until he's 24+ months for it to get better? Me and my DH have both tried to let him CIO but he gets so riled up he gets very red, sweaty, tears every where, snotty nose and almost pukes. Idk if it's separation anxiety or what but I need a little relief.
Re: LO is a Horrible Sleeper
You really should read up on some other methods because there are plenty.
I'm betting at this point your LO is very, very attached to you and he knows that no matter what, he just has to cry and you'll cave in. Being attached isn't a bad thing but you definitely have to lay down some ground rules for a new routine/schedule and stick to it. If want any chance in hell of starting to get good sleep you have to be 100% consistent night after night.
What are naps like? Where does he sleep for naps?
From my experience, if a baby doesn't nap well then night time sleep is complete garbage. It sounds like sleep started out bad, probably because you attempted the crib and babies hate sleeping flat. Neither of my kids could go in their crib until around 4 months old.
At this point you can't just leave your LO to cry in his crib when you think he should go to bed because that will just confuse him. He has always slept with you so it's going to take hard work to break him of that. You have to determine what his bedtime should be and try not to put him down when he's overly tired. My youngest is now 16 months old but she has always gone to bed between 6-7pm. That's just what works for her.
This is tough because of the age he is at but I suggest trying other sleep training methods like the no cry sleep solution, doing interval checks, sleep lady shuffle, something! But nothing will work without consistency.
I will check out the methods you mentioned.
In your arms?! Ugh. That's not good for either of you. I feel your frustration.
Can you try a swing? That worked really well for my first kid until he got used to the crib. Or if not a swing, something else that's angled? It's tough because at that age I'm sure he's mobile so you are pretty limited with where you can put him that's safe.
Are you keeping the room dark? Using white noise or maybe a loud fan?
I have a feeling you are going to have to bite the bullet and be tough about this if you want something to work.
I did not try a swing because my pediatrician told me it was dangerous for him to sleep in when he was so young and now that he's older he does not fit into the swing anymore. I could see if we can get something different when we get the money.
I have been keeping the room dark and I have used a small fan on low and a white noise machine my mother in law gave me that worked with her other grandbaby. Neither seemed to make much of a difference, although maybe once I can get him to get in the crib I can use them to get him to stay.
I do feel like I am running out of options, I've looked up several things on the web and read articles and asked other mothers I know but nothing has worked.
How long are you letting him cry when you do leave him? Usually parents give up too quickly and that can be the problem.
Also, are you getting out some and leaving your LO with your H so you can get a break, but more importantly your LO gets used to having someone besides you care for him?
I keep trying to get out more but H says he can't take care of LO like I can and since he is a BF baby he needs me. LO has not really taken to solids so that has been hard as well. I have demanded an hour to myself before H goes to work but it never feels like enough.
@tabbiekat13 I am so glad you responded! I hate that you're going through this but so happy you say you know what I am talking about! Having someone who is going through the same thing makes it a lil easier even if its a super hard thing you would not wish on anyone. Here's to hoping we both get a break soon!
I'm glad! IMO, men need to be told exactly what to do with babies otherwise they just assume mom has it handled. Good luck to you
https://www.mybabysleepguide.com/2009/01/pupd-tbw.html?m=1
I did however hold her for a few extra seconds after she stopped crying to give her some kisses
ETA: if you think this method might work for you guys, I would really recommend making sure your hubby is on board and that he helps out with this sleep training because this method is honestly so exhausting
I know it's so hard, but the time does pass quickly and he will sleep one day I promise!
TTC #1 January 2009
January 2010 SA results: Count 16 million, Motility 40%, Morphology 2%
January 2010- Surprise BFP! DS born 10/1/2010
January 2013 TTC #2
September 2013 Repeat SA: Count= 1.7 million, Motility= 24%, Morphology= 2%
November 6th 1st Appointment with RE: diagnosed with severe MFI
Testing to try to determine a cause & possible treatment for MFI
CD 3 blood work for me. RE does not want to repeat my HSG/lap at this point,
but may want to before moving forward with any fertility treatments.
After seeing the uro, DH is currently taking lots of supplements and clomid to try to boost his count. We will have a repeat SA in February to see if it works.
Follow up SA numbers are: Count= 4 million, Motility= 40%, Morphology= 1%
Uro wants us to have another follow up SA 5/9 to see if we see further improvement than we are back to the RE to make a game plan.
SA 5/9/2014 Count: 12 Million, Motility: 60%, and Morphology 2%. We will be doing iui #1 in late June
IUI #1 6/28 clomid + ovidrel, post wash count 3 million total sperm= BFN
IUI # 2 7/21 clomid+ ovidrel. post wash count 900,000 total sperm= BFN
IVF planned for early November- cancelled due to cyst
December IVF #1- 22 eggs, 20 mature,16 fertilized
12/9 Transferred 1 4AA Blast, 6 frosties
*****Everyone is welcome******
My sister's baby was exactly like yours. When he turned 6 months she did the FERBER CIO method. It worked miracles for her. Try it out. As prior posts said, consistency is key. Will it be easy? No! But I think he knows how to get away with things by crying. Its so hard not to cave in.
I currently co-sleep with my almost 9 month old son. He used to tolerate the crib but now hates it. He does go down easily in my bed and will only wake up once through the night. This works for us now, as he gets a little older, I'll try to put him back in his crib. Since this momma is getting her sleep, I give zero fu**cks about those who say co-sleeping is a no no.
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
I am so glad to hear this! I am having the same experience with my daughter and it's nice to know I'm not alone. I have never been able to put her down awake and have her go to sleep. We also don't let her cry long because she is beyond persistent and it only makes it worse in the end.
For naps she will usually fall asleep either while nursing or having a bottle, or in the car seat, stroller, or baby carrier. She prefers to sleep in our arms but we usually put her in her crib once she is asleep. Some days she naps for like a half hour, other times she'll go for up to 3-4 hours.
At night she will only nurse or bottle feed to sleep (no we don't lay her down with the bottle I am aware of bottle rot) and she completely rages if we try any other method. Like you, we have tried different routines and bedtimes to see if anything is more successful. Nothing has made a difference. we started putting her to bed when we go to bed at 10 or 11 because then at least she would not get up for good until around 9:30, despite waking several times during the night to nurse. She has slept through the night 4 times ever. For awhile she was on a good run of only waking 1-2 times a night and then going back to sleep quickly (with nursing) and then having a good solid stretch from 3am until the morning. However, in the last 2 weeks she will not stay asleep AT ALL and wakes every time we try to crib her. She also wants to comfort suck all through the night and so remains very restless as she wants to keep that nip in her mouth all the time. She also refuses a pacifier. She did take the soothies for the first couple months of her life (which was a life saver) and then one day decided she hates them. In fact, it sends her in to complete rage if you try to sneak one in. I am hoping this just has to do with teething, she has 4 teeth coming in at once, ouch. I gave her teething tablets last night with the baby orajel and that did nothing. This is also the age of separation anxiety which probably is adding to it.
Now she has been spending more time back in our bed then the crib, we are just to exhausted to do anything else. My husband tries to walk her around or rock her when she wakes up but she wants one thing and one thing only...the boob! I try not to worry about it too much because at the end of the day it's only natural that a baby should want to be with their mom all the time at this age. I'm hoping she will naturally out grow it. And I just keep reminding myself that "the days are long but the years are short". One day she will be all grown up and i'll be missing her in my arms.
SO yeah, I don't have any advise but just know you aren't alone!