Pregnant after 35

3rd baby but feeling so overwhelmed with worry over all the tests and odds!

This is my 3rd baby and I just turned 35. With any pregnancy there is always some level of risk but every time I go to the doctor I leave in tears over all the tests they suggest I run and all the extra risks due to my "advanced" age. On top of this, I visited the Dominican Republic in november  (prior to conception) so there is the potential risk of the Zika virus. I feel like if this baby comes out healthy it will be a miracle at this point. I'm scared, but I just don't know if I need to be? Did you have the many extra tests run that they suggest you have? I don't want to ruin my last pregnancy by being so worried about everything.

Re: 3rd baby but feeling so overwhelmed with worry over all the tests and odds!

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  • Sporty1216Sporty1216 member
    edited February 2016
    I think @emgee27 put it all beautifully! I was 38 with my first and am now 41, pregnant with #2. There is no way we can control all of the possible risks--and really, that's true at any age! I think the most important thing is that you work with a care provider who supports you and helps you make informed decisions about what kinds of testing are right for you! My OB never pushed me to do any testing I didn't want to do and I always really appreciated that. I'm sure she was on the lookout for risks (as she would be for any pregnancy), but she never treated me as a special AMA case. She treated me like a woman who was pregnant and helped me make the right choices for me. She's doing the same thing this time!

    Hang in there and I wish you a happy and healthy 9 months!
  • I appreciated that testing was covered because I am over 35. I wouldn't have had that luxury otherwise. I got to have peace of mind and found out at 11 weeks that we're having a girl.
    TTC#1 since Jan 2015
    BFP 2/19/15  •  MMC found at 9 wks  •  D&E at 11 wks (age 36)
    BFP 8/29/15
      •  CP (age 37)
    BFP 11/18/15  •  DD born at 41 weeks <3(age 37/38)

    TTC#2 since May 2017
    BFP 10/18/17  •  MMC found at 8 wks  •  Misoprostal at 10.5 wks (age 39)

    BFP 2/16/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 4/13/18
      •  CP (age 39)
    BFP 5/07/18  •  MMC found at 10.5 wks  •  D&E at 11.5 wks 
    •  Testing showed it was a girl with Trisomy 22. (age 39/40)
    9/5/18 Diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve (4-5 follicles, one ovary had none and was very atrophied)

    RE says the low egg count is likely causing my recurrent pregnancy loss. Less eggs results in more aneuploidy.

    BFP 9/24/18  • 
    CP (age 40)
    BFP 5/11/19  •  Fraternal twins  •  MMC found at 10w5d (Baby A 6w, Baby B 10w)  •  Misoprostal at 11 weeks (age 41)













  • lillebowski23lillebowski23 member
    edited February 2016
    I am nearly 36 and just over 19w with my first. The amount of tests they offered were certainly overwhelming! Because this is my first, I didn't realize all the tests were extra! I had read a little about what to expect being AMA and thankfully both DH and I are reasonably healthy. I'm with @CarrieandRoy as far as everything being covered which is fantastic!
    As for your Zika concerns, probably a good idea to get tested if you can, but try to be positive about being Zika-neg! We still don't know everything about the virus and unless you were bit by tons of mosquitos I don't think you have to worry. OP You didn't mention that you had mosquito bites in ur post just that there is potential for Zika, I don't want to make assumptions!
  • I don't actually recall being bit but I think there was a little mosquito activity at night. But honestly, I didn't even pay attention! I did read that if you conceived after getting back (it was about a month later) you should be ok. My doctor said there are no tests that can be done to determine whether or not you actually have the virus. Just have to monitor using ultrasounds. 
  • I had the harmony test only. It tests for the most common big anomalies, like trisomy 18, 21, and sex chromosome disorders. I was offered the triple screen, but since NIPT like the harmony test exist, I didn't see any reason for it. I was at very low risk for neural tube defects, and had been taking prenatals for a year before conceiving, so I decided that wasn't even worth worrying about. I was not even offered a nuchal scan, because where I live the nuchal scan and the harmony test are seen as redundant. I am 38. 

    I think the most important thing to consider when it comes to prenatal testing is what you would do if there were a problem. If you are going to have testing done, you need to have a plan about how you will proceed before you get the results. I think that if you don't have a plan all the testing can start to feel very out of control and overwhelming. 
  • I'm 36 (will be 37 a month after my due date) and the only testing I had was the Harmony NIPT.  Nothing is really different about this AMA pregnancy except that I will have weekly NST starting at 35 weeks.  Try to be positive and not worry about the risks.  Like pp said, I was glad to be AMA this time since the NIPT was covered by insurance and now I have peace of mind that everything is okay.  
  • I'm 35, I'm going to go through same tests...when you say advanced age I laughed. Did you ever see that show 70 and pregnant? That's advanced, shoot we are spring chickens in comparison. A lady from my church started her family in her 50s and has three healthy kiddos. I was 19 years old, healthy and young when I had my first child....he was born with special needs. It can happen at any age. The Zika virus would be rare, media attention makes it a bigger deal then it is. 
  • I like all the extra tests, actually. You're only 35...the whole AMA thing is kind of ridiculous.

    As for the Zika, try not to worry (I was just in the Caribbean myself). The only known cases of the deformation seem to be coming out of Brazil. People may have carried the virus in DR, but there don't seem to have been other connections, as far as I know. [I hat to calm down about it--now I am on to new worries!]

    The anxiety could be a function of your hormones. It's a mind game, calming yourself down.
    *****Losses Mentioned*****BFP MENTIONED*****ALL WELCOME******ALL ABOARD!!

    Me: 42, DH: 46, Married: 11/12
    Losses: MMC#1 11/12 BO, MC#2 11/13 at 8w BO?, MMC#3 8/14 chromo healthy M @12 weeks, stopped growing at 10.
    Negligible AMH, FSH finally went high. Pursued DE.

    DD born at 38w2d on 5-27-16. Finally!!

    Pregnant again with OE. EDD 11/9/17 Girl!




    BabyGaga
  • Thanks guys. I had a really nice conversation with my OB and she told me that she has a child with special needs. She was born before a lot of the testing we have now was available and said she thinks a lot about the options people have now and what she would have done. But she says that even if my baby had some issue, it's not the worst thing in the world. She says her daughter, like any of our children, has brought so much enrichment into her life and wants mom's in our position to know that it's really ok. It helped to put my mind at ease and I'm trying to just have peace about everything. Things will work out as they will and there's just nothing I can do about it.
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