Question: why circumcision?

Kellyim10 · February 2016

I don't want to start anything controversial, but I'm curious as to why you might choose to have your son circumcised? In the area where we live, not circumcising is pretty standard, unless there's a cultural reason (like my Jewish friends have all circumcised their sons, of course). Since we found out we are having a boy, I've been pretty set on no circumcision because it seems unnecessary. However, I see there are a lot of moms here who are planning on circumcision, and I'm wondering why? Just honest curiosity. It's an individual choice and I'm not trying to change minds.

tJaffe · February 2016

Less infections.

It's always been done on my side and DH's side. We had a very brief... "Do you want him to be circumcised?" "Yup"... conversation and that was that.

ClaireBear90 · February 2016

I was more on the fence about it and definitely struggled a bit until we actually had it done. People can express their opinions strongly and often rudely (or at least it comes across that way online), so all of the "circumcision is mutilating your baby" type comments fed into my mom guilt. But at the end of the day, it's an individual choice like you said and DH felt strongly about it. His opinion mattered more to me than internet strangers.

cmerribury · February 2016

A large part of it is less infections. Also, honestly where we live it's more common. I heard tons of teasing of the few boys who weren't circumcised when I was younger (by boys and girls) and don't want that for my son. Finally my husband is corcumcised and didn't want my son to feel "different" in any way.

blueeyedrose86 · February 2016

I would not choose to do it, but I think a lot of it is lack of knowledge about intact penises: care, normal retraction, etc. If people were more familiar with them, they might not be afraid to just leave it alone. A lot of the reasons people say they choose to circumcise apply to female genitals, too, but people are horrified at the thought of cutting a baby girl, and it's illegal, but we know how to troubleshoot problems that come with vaginas. OTC meds, antibiotics, proper hygeine, etc. I'm sure this isn't true for everyone, but I'd be willing to bet circumcision rates would decline even more than they already have if doctors and the public were better educated about the intact penis.

FutureMrsCaesar · February 2016

From a 'medically necessary' standpoint I think it's tough to make a case for circumcision. We've circd all of our boys, mostly because I left it up to DH and that's what he chose. I do know a few men who have chosen to have it done in adolesence or as an adult and it was very painful and I know they wish they had it done (or had it done correctly, one was a revision of a bad circumcision) as a baby. I guess for me that was enough to go with DHs choice to have it done, but part of me did feel a little bit bad about putting a newborn through something that was not absolutely necessary.

mshukh · February 2016

We are Jewish, but personally, I have never seen any convincing arguments not to do it. So even if I weren't, I'd still circumcise. My hubby had the final say and he wanted it done.

Christine&Chris · February 2016

I'm having a really hard time with this too - I don't want to circ and my husband does (but hasn't done a second of research, it's just what he knows...). Neither my husband nor my brothers have ever seen my FIL or father's penis, nor have they seen their friends...so those arguments mean nothing to us. My only hang up is trying to find out information on how many men need the procedure later in life for medical reasons; because that is something I would wish to avoid for him.

I believe the published circ rates are those done in the hospital for newborns; but how many more are done within the 1st year (delayed for medical reasons - they won't do it here if blood sugar is off or jaundice is present at discharge)? And then...how many men have it done much later? I'd love to see info on that if anyone has it.

lcq5504 · February 2016

DH and I have chosen not to circumcise our LO.
My side of the family has never done it, my 7 brothers and their boys are all intact. It's just not a tradition or cultural thing for us. We've never seen any issues, hygienic or medical.
DH's side has always done it, no big reason behind it, it's just what they've done, but they've had multiple complications on their end, one has required additional surgeries to repair the damage caused by the original circ, and one that had a complication that can never be repaired. Both are still fully functional, but have had anxiety and are too self-conscious to feel "locker-room normal."
I am in no way trying to sway anyone in any choice, just sharing our experiences and reasons that influenced our decision.

flowerpower5838 · February 2016

As the resident penis expert in our family, I asked DH if he wanted our son to be circumcised. He said yes. That simple.

ecwk · February 2016

flowerpower5838 said:

As the resident penis expert in our family, I asked DH if he wanted our son to be circumcised. He said yes. That simple.

Same.

Also, OP, if you search you will find approximately a bazillion threads on this topic.

kyraaD · February 2016

flowerpower5838 said:

As the resident penis expert in our family, I asked DH if he wanted our son to be circumcised. He said yes. That simple.

this for us, too. i have no idea what it's like to have a penis & according to my SO, it's the way to go, especially for hygiene reasons.

cmerribury · February 2016

flowerpower5838 said:

As the resident penis expert in our family, I asked DH if he wanted our son to be circumcised. He said yes. That simple.

Whenever my son asks me a really specific penis question I always say "I don't know, I don't have one. Go ask your dad." LOL...I think I'll bestow this title upon him!

kitteh81 · February 2016

My family all circumcised and I guess I always assumed I'd have my sons circumcised as well, until I read that routine circumcision in the US started as a way to prevent masturbation in pubescent boys, and the more I researched the origins of the practice the more it looked exactly like the reviled practice of female circumcision. That was a huge factor in our decision not to circumcise.

Cowboycorgi · February 2016

Having worked as a CNA in a nursing home while getting my nursing degree in college, I've cleaned a lot of grandpa penis in my life.
I'd say 90% of our male population was intact in the home, cleaning was no more easy or difficult and infection rate was the same from what I experienced.

Then again I don't find vaginas hard to clean either but I do hear a lot of moms complaining about how hard it is to keep little girls clean. Maybe I'm missing something.

I guess at the end of day I don't feel like it is my choice to make, nor is it my husbands. Just because my husband has a penis doesn't mean he gets to make a perm. Physical alteration on our son (which we don't have), just like I can't for the daughter we are going to have. I also don't believe in piercing infant ears, but at least that can be reversed.

I also don't think I could shame another couple for making a decision one way or another. It's a tough call in the United States to make.

flowerpower5838 · February 2016

@Cowboycorgi Are you in the US? 90% of the males there were uncircumcised? It's culturally the norm here to BE circumcised so this doesn't sound right to me, but then again I have no idea what the norms were 80 years ago I suppose.

GraciesMom189 · February 2016

Kellyim10 said:

I don't want to start anything controversial, but I'm curious as to why you might choose to have your son circumcised? In the area where we live, not circumcising is pretty standard, unless there's a cultural reason (like my Jewish friends have all circumcised their sons, of course). Since we found out we are having a boy, I've been pretty set on no circumcision because it seems unnecessary. However, I see there are a lot of moms here who are planning on circumcision, and I'm wondering why? Just honest curiosity. It's an individual choice and I'm not trying to change minds.

I wouldn't bother with it, but husband wants it done and I respect that. This should be his decision. The American Academy of Pediatrics says the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal newborn circumcision. So with that in mind, and with the research I've done, it's simply a preference.

ClaireBear90 said:

I was more on the fence about it and definitely struggled a bit until we actually had it done. People can express their opinions strongly and often rudely (or at least it comes across that way online), so all of the "circumcision is mutilating your baby" type comments fed into my mom guilt. But at the end of the day, it's an individual choice like you said and DH felt strongly about it. His opinion mattered more to me than internet strangers.

And this absolutely!

flowerpower5838 · February 2016

GraciesMom189 said:

Kellyim10 said:

I don't want to start anything controversial, but I'm curious as to why you might choose to have your son circumcised? In the area where we live, not circumcising is pretty standard, unless there's a cultural reason (like my Jewish friends have all circumcised their sons, of course). Since we found out we are having a boy, I've been pretty set on no circumcision because it seems unnecessary. However, I see there are a lot of moms here who are planning on circumcision, and I'm wondering why? Just honest curiosity. It's an individual choice and I'm not trying to change minds.

I wouldn't bother with it, but husband wants it done and I respect that. This should be his decision. The American Academy of Pediatrics says the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal

I also agree about it being our decision. As a child's parents, we are going to be required to make a lot of decisions. My child we be circumcised, get vaccinated, go to daycare, be raised Christain, etc. etc. etc. I completely 100% respect people's decisions to do things differently, but to say that this isn't our choice is a slippery slope in what is and isn't our choice in parenting.

JUST one lady's opinion for parenting her own children, obviously not what I think would work universally for everyone.

GraciesMom189 · February 2016

flowerpower5838 said:

GraciesMom189 said:

Kellyim10 said:

I don't want to start anything controversial, but I'm curious as to why you might choose to have your son circumcised? In the area where we live, not circumcising is pretty standard, unless there's a cultural reason (like my Jewish friends have all circumcised their sons, of course). Since we found out we are having a boy, I've been pretty set on no circumcision because it seems unnecessary. However, I see there are a lot of moms here who are planning on circumcision, and I'm wondering why? Just honest curiosity. It's an individual choice and I'm not trying to change minds.

I wouldn't bother with it, but husband wants it done and I respect that. This should be his decision. The American Academy of Pediatrics says the benefits of circumcision outweigh the risks but the benefits are not great enough to recommend universal

I also agree about it being our decision. As a child's parents, we are going to be required to make a lot of decisions. My child we be circumcised, get vaccinated, go to daycare, be raised Christain, etc. etc. etc. I completely 100% respect people's decisions to do things differently, but to say that this isn't our choice is a slippery slope in what is and isn't our choice in parenting.
JUST one lady's opinion for parenting her own children, obviously not what I think would work universally for everyone.

I posted my reply before I finished typing. I finished it immediately after. As I said, all the research I've done, I've determined that circumcision is a preference. And with it being a preference, it should be my husband's decision. I stand by that. My initial opinion was that it was unecessary and I personally wouldn't bother if it was only me calling the shots, but thankfully it's not just me. I definitely appreciate the fact that he cares and has input. If this was something I felt would harm my son, I would not allow it to happen. There are things in the past where I felt that it was "my call" and that's okay too. Co-parenting is give and take and I respect my husband's decision on this as a man just as he respects me.

flowerpower5838 · February 2016

^^^ Take a chill pill homie! I was agreeing with what you said His decision, our decision - just semantics as I mentioned previously I also left this choice up to DH. So I agree 100% with what you said.

ETA: What I was saying about what is and isn't our choice was more geared toward what @Cowboycorgi said. While I respect that opinion, I don't necessarily agree with it.

GraciesMom189 · February 2016

flowerpower5838 said:

^^^ Take a chill pill homie! I was agreeing with what you said His decision, our decision - just semantics but I agree with what you said.
ETA: What I was saying about what is and isn't our choice was more geared toward what @Cowboycorgi said. While I respect that opinion, I don't necessarily agree with it.

Didn't mean to come off as upset (I'm not at all! In fact, I love a good debate!). Simply clarifying since I wasn't sure my point came across the first time around- which I will blame on pregnancy for making me a bit more scatter-brained

jenniferamcooper · February 2016

I find it really interesting that were neighbours -I'm in Canada and our rate is 32% and the stats I found for the US was 77%.

Not useful to the conversation except I think it's largely regional and cultural.

edited to add cultural : )

2-Step · February 2016

I probably wouldn't have chosen to do it, but DH felt strongly that the boys look like him. He also remembers a lot of teasing in the locker room of the very few boys who weren't when he was young. He was absolutely convinced it was the right thing to do. I left it up to him because I was on the fence and he felt strongly in one direction. I have heard a few stories from women married to uncircumcised men about ongoing problems with longevity of intercourse because of the extra sensitivity. Also have heard from people about higher infection rates in the women who are with the man. Personally, I don't know enough about it to say these things are a good enough reason not to do it, but it is interesting when I hear those things from a few different people with first hand experience.

lightrox · February 2016

I left it up to my husband and he is circumcised so he wanted his son's to look like him. I had no preference since my dad and brother's are not, we're a different culture.

soxfan9968 · February 2016

We're team green so it may not even be an issue. I left it up to DH. DH had a lot of problems with repeated infections despite proper care (according to his pediatrician and dad). Had a circumcision done at the pre-teen stage and noted he really would've preferred to have it done much earlier. He remembers ALL the pain from the infections and procedure itself. He doesn't want to repeat the scenario with his child so we've opted for a circumcision if it's a boy.

Cowboycorgi · February 2016

flowerpower5838 said:

@Cowboycorgi Are you in the US? 90% of the males there were uncircumcised? It's culturally the norm here to BE circumcised so this doesn't sound right to me, but then again I have no idea what the norms were 80 years ago I suppose.

Yeah, I live in Michigan. I know most of my male friends are circumcised, so I'm guessing that it just wasn't as common for the older generations. I didn't think much about it at the time, but when I transisioned to cardiac care as a nurse my male age demographic changed and I had 90% circumcised "father" aged patients. I can tell you that placing a cath is much easier on a circumcised penis ... But cleaning that cath is just as gunky.

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