Childcare during delivery

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

for moms who already have kids at home, when are you planning to make arrangements for someone to watch your children while you are giving birth? I know it's early now, but I don't want to wait too long just because you never know.

We don't have family close by and the friend who watched ds while I had dd is going to move before spring. I probably worry too much about planning, but I would love to hear people's thoughts. I'm expecting a fast delivery again, so that makes me a little more anxious. How many back ups will you have? What if you can't reach any of them?

SMLmom · February 2016

It is a good idea to plan those things before too long. My mother-in-law will stay with our daughter but she lives about 45 min- 1 hour away and if it takes everyone by surprise, she may not be poised and ready to leave the house. I plan on asking my friend who also has a 2 year old and lives near the hospital if she could take our daughter if we needed to drop her off in after-work hours.
I was induced last time, which made it easy to plan logistics

RMLandy · February 2016

I have a friend, and another back up that are local. If I can't reach either of them, I'd try my little sister who is in college in our same town. She's just not always reliable. If none of those work, I'll call my mom who is about 2.5 hours away and pray she makes it in time! And, worst case scenario, we will have to bring my son to the hospital. I'm completely against him being in the room, so DH will have to sit with him while I do it on my own!!

ETA: I already made plans with my #1 and #2 because DH will be out of town about 2 weeks before my due date and I wanted to make SURE I had someone, just in case. Otherwise, I'd have my mom come and stay while he's gone.

NicknShan · February 2016

I have already made arrangements with my MIL. She has the most flexibility in her schedule, and honestly, I am glad she won't be the first one to the hospital when LO arrives. I will likely not want them in the hospital for at least a day or so. I am fortunate though, because all of my family is close by.

One of my friends that was overseas when her second (her DH was stationed over there) just had to bring the other kiddo to the hospital with them. Between the nurses and her DH, they just had their first LO at the hospital with them.

How old is your other one? If they are old enough, you could give them an ipad in the waiting room. If they are young enough, you could bring a pack n play.

I haven't thought of backups yet, since everyone is local. If one doesn't pick up, I'll call the next.

Huskerfanz · February 2016

My plan is my mom even though I haven't asked her officially yet. I luckily have other local family that I could call if I needed to as back up. It will probably be a scheduled c section but maybe not.

SoEnamored · February 2016

For those mamas out there who may be checking this thread, thinking that they don't have anyone out there to help them, just wanted to put it out there that there may be a local program that can help. Maybe check with your OB for ideas and programs. For example, in MN or St Louis, calling the Crisis Nursery is a good start.

Hbraun200 · February 2016

we are so fortunate we live with my grandma. She's in a wheelchair but is pretty mobile but not comfortable with her living alone. So DS will just stay with her and if I decide I want her at the hospital (which is likely were very close) plus if H is at work he works near the hospital I might just have my grandma drive me so we only have one vehicle at the hospital. my cousin lives on the way to the hospital and will be 17 and watches her younger sister so she's almost always home for us if we need her. Worst case senario is my step grandparents who live across the street until my mom or someone can get him!! They all know the game plan

PBear93 · February 2016

We have no idea. Our closest family is an 8 hour drive and the family who watched our daughter for us when we are in a pinch are due with their fourth in late April so I don't want to throw an extra kid on them with a newborn.

GinnyJ2012 · February 2016

My MIL is going to come stay with us close to my due date. If I go into labor before she arrives the. I'll have a neighbor come over if it's the middle of the night. Or we will take the kids to a neighbor if it's day time. we had the same arrangement last time and it worked out well.

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

This is one of the few times I wish we lived closer to family, lol.

My kids will be 2 and almost 5, so having them at the hospital would mean dh had to watch them every second. I'll probably ask some people from church who also have kids and don't live too far, but it's hard to say "hay, can I call you any time day or night to watch my kids" when you're not super close friends or family.

alohasoprano · February 2016

My mom is flying in a few days before my scheduled c-section. In the off chance I go into labor before my scheduled date, we'll call everyone we know until someone picks up! haha

WinniethePoohsPants · February 2016

My dad is about 45 minutes away, so he's my go man.

Are there any close friends of yours nearby that can watch the kids until family arrives to relieve them of babysitting duties? That's probably what I would do.

fishwife799 · February 2016

It is not to early at all! MIL will stay with our kids at home if its night and A friend of mine will watch them during the day. My mom is our backup. I find it very stressful and am very lucky we have family so close that can help us.

MAbride0808 · February 2016

My parents will be in charge of DD. They are the most flexible and willing to go out of their way to help. We asked my in-laws but their response was yes only if it occurs on a Thursday or a weekend when MIL is not working. Nope sorry need more flexibility than that.

Bear14+ · February 2016

My Mom will most likely have DS (she lives about 40 minutes away). In an emergency, my brother & SIL will get him until my mom can get there. My mom is being pretty adamant that she wants to be present at the birth again, but I keep telling her that I need her to be with DS for peace of mind. I guess we'll see what happens...

Lyette1206 · February 2016

I've asked my step dad and my brother to be on standby to watch DD (both live over an hour away). In case things go fast, I've asked a neighbor who is a SAHM to watch her until one of them get here.

I had a coworker who was in a similar position, and if she had her second outside of the tight time frame she had for her mom to fly in from out of country, she said her DH would have to stay with DD while she had the baby alone. It broke my heart (although it all worked out in the end). I didn't have kids at the time, but I told her that she could call at any time of day and I'd come sit with their DD. No one should be alone to birth a child, and no one should have to worry about their older children. Please ask the people around you. I think most would be willing to help if they're needed

Grapes13 · February 2016

I've actually been having a lot of anxiety about this! We are military and so we live over 22 hours from friends and family! The people that we have gotten close to here on base are now moving or just moved this month. I'm afraid to ask any coworkers since 5 out of 7 days they will be working. I have no idea who to ask. I honestly do not want my MIL flying in for this, and my mom is not sure she can get off. But even if they came a flight has to be booked sooner and I could go early. I just don't really trust anyone at this point. I mean we have daycare but they won't be open 24/7. I will have to look into a program maybe that would watch our DS. He's only 12 months today, and I'm still at that place where I've never been away from him more than 8 hours of a work day. Hopefully we all figure something out soon!

colesmom33 · February 2016

My sister lives close to the hospital and I have a 21 year niece and 18 year old niece and nephew who can help watch my DS. which is nice! My worry is that I don't want to create too much anxiety for my DS. He'll be 22 months and doesn't quite get what's going on. I think I'll have my husband go home every night with him, so he's not too freaked out! It's crazy I'm more concerned with him than even the delivery!! Any other second time moms feeling like that?

snowhite12 · February 2016

Honestly, if someone I only semi knew asked me to watch their kid(s) while they gave birth I would most definitely do it! I know many others who would do it too. Like another PP said, no one should have to give birth alone (however, I know those that have done it).
We are extremely fortunate that I have about 10+ people I can call. My parent are pretty adamant on taking DD though.

PBear93 · February 2016

@lyette1206 and @snowhite12 those comments make me feel better and more confident in my ability to ask some of the people I'm friendly with but not friends with to watch our daughter. Thanks!

AmberLiz99 · February 2016

Thanks everyone. I think I need to just suck it up and pick some people to ask. It's hard for me to ask for help, and i'm particular about who I leave my kids with, so it's a tough one for me to get over.

GinnyJ2012 · February 2016

jaceyannie said:

My sister lives close to the hospital and I have a 21 year niece and 18 year old niece and nephew who can help watch my DS. which is nice! My worry is that I don't want to create too much anxiety for my DS. He'll be 22 months and doesn't quite get what's going on. I think I'll have my husband go home every night with him, so he's not too freaked out! It's crazy I'm more concerned with him than even the delivery!! Any other second time moms feeling like that?

DS1 was 22 months when DS2 was born. My MIL was staying with him when I was at the hospital. DS2 was born at 10:21 in the morning and DH went home to check on DS1 around noon. He spent most of the time I was in the hospital at home with our older son since things were fine with me and the baby. He didn't sleep at the hospital, and I was more comfortable with him at home.

ETA: I was more concerned for how adding the new baby would change everything, then I was for delivery. I insisted on putting DS1 to bed the night before I delivered even though i was having contractions the entire time. I think it's perfectly normal to feel that way!

MamaNicoleof3 · February 2016

Echo what @GinnyJ2012 said. I was having contractions during the whole bedtime routine with our daughter (21 months at the time). I was way more concerned with how she'd react than the labor! H was with her quite a bit while
I was in the hospital, but my parents were also here and showered her with love.

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