Hoping someone can relate.

Knottie83732320 · February 2016

FH and I got engaged a year ago next month and started planning our wedding right after. I was so excited that I ended up ordering my wedding gown at the end of May. Well I gained about 30 pounds over the summer due to stress, grandma passing away, being out of town almost every weekend for weddings and events, moving to a new state, looking for a new job, etc. So I started weight watchers again in the middle of September because I lost 132 pounds in the past and knew I could lose the 30 I regained. Well low and behold I found out we are expecting in November and of course have been gaining weight since then. So now I have packed on more than the 30 pounds (more like 50 at this point) and I just know my dress will not fit when it comes in this August. Really wish it would come in sooner so I could try it. Even if I did lose weight in the 4 months between giving birth and my wedding I have a feeling it won't look right because my hips and thighs have gotten so wide and it's a very form fitting dress. So I am ordering a dress from David's Bridal next week as a back up plan. I am just so sad because my original dress is absolutely stunning and everything I dreamed about. And no I can't order a bigger size at this point. I am so thrilled to be welcoming our daughter into this world though and can't wait to meet her in June. I just needed to vent and see if anyone can relate because my friends don't get it. They think that I just have to be positive and workout like crazy after the baby is born but I'm being realistic. Not every woman goes back to her pre pregnancy size in just a few short months.

mmemartinez · February 2016

While it's true that your hips may have changed too much (for me it has been my ribcage) you still could lose the weight....for example I was 20 lbs lighter when I came home after the hospital, then lost 10 from nursing in the next couple of weeks. Once I finished nursing which was 2 yrs later I did a low carb diet for a couple months and lost another 15. If you set up a diet and a routine and are nursing I bet it could be done. I also bet you will look fabulous on your wedding day either way

but don't get too discouraged about the weight.

Knottie83732320 · February 2016

I sure hope I can lose weight like that! I do plan to breast feed and I would love to be able to go for walks a few times a week if I'm not in pain and am cleared to do it.

splsmama2016 · February 2016

You can't use the "if I'm not in pain" excuse

my friend gained 80 pounds during her pregnancy. She went from 110 soaking wet to 190 before her son was born. Had a c-section, and even though she wasn't allowed to work out like normal, she made sure she at least went for a slow paced walk almost daily. More than likely, your dr will allow you to take a short walk if you have a c-section as long as someone else is pushing the stroller.

Just make sure to eat right, portion size, lots of water and get in your exercise.

beachbaby83 · February 2016

I can so relate! I'm due June 8th and getting married August 27th. I have not been working out since I found out I was pregnant and haven't been eating to healthy. My dress is form fitting too! I'm hoping breast feeding will help and hope to starting working out in enough time. I'm gonna schedule a fitting the closet I can to the wedding!

GinnyJ2012 · February 2016

I delivered DS1 at 220. At 4 months post delivery I weighed 166. Since I was still nursing my breasts were still huge. If your dress was fitted through the top there may be nothing you can do for that even if you lose all the baby weight. Working out pre delivery, and healthy eating should also help. Be careful about crazy diets if you're nursing as a low caloric intake can decrease milk supply.

stillcozy · February 2016

I'm someone who also has been struggling with weight loss before and gaining some back in pregnancy I'd really encourage you participate in excercise regime even low impact such as walking several times a week. It has really helped my symptoms and has helped keep my weight gain in check. I also have a friend who is a weight loss partner with me and is helping me keep my diet in check of course due to pregnnancy I'm not eating to lose weight but rather maintain. Maybe find someone or start a healthy mom group on your bmb to help hold each other accountable

Sarcasm101 · February 2016

beachbaby83 said:

I can so relate! I'm due June 8th and getting married August 27th. I have not been working out since I found out I was pregnant and haven't been eating to healthy. My dress is form fitting too! I'm hoping breast feeding will help and hope to starting working out in enough time. I'm gonna schedule a fitting the closet I can to the wedding!

I wouldn't count on this. First, not everyone is able to breastfeed. Second, everyone's body responses differently. I didn't loose my baby weight until I stopped breastfeeding because I was retaining so much water.

I agree with others that you might want to start exercising while pregnant. And I might be wrong, but I believe you can still do Weight Watchers while pregnant, you just have to adjust your points. If it has worked in the past, it might be worth looking into.

PinkLady2015 · February 2016

Knottie83732320 said:

FH and I got engaged a year ago next month and started planning our wedding right after. I was so excited that I ended up ordering my wedding gown at the end of May. Well I gained about 30 pounds over the summer due to stress, grandma passing away, being out of town almost every weekend for weddings and events, moving to a new state, looking for a new job, etc. So I started weight watchers again in the middle of September because I lost 132 pounds in the past and knew I could lose the 30 I regained. Well low and behold I found out we are expecting in November and of course have been gaining weight since then. So now I have packed on more than the 30 pounds (more like 50 at this point) and I just know my dress will not fit when it comes in this August. Really wish it would come in sooner so I could try it. Even if I did lose weight in the 4 months between giving birth and my wedding I have a feeling it won't look right because my hips and thighs have gotten so wide and it's a very form fitting dress. So I am ordering a dress from David's Bridal next week as a back up plan. I am just so sad because my original dress is absolutely stunning and everything I dreamed about. And no I can't order a bigger size at this point. I am so thrilled to be welcoming our daughter into this world though and can't wait to meet her in June. I just needed to vent and see if anyone can relate because my friends don't get it. They think that I just have to be positive and workout like crazy after the baby is born but I'm being realistic. Not every woman goes back to her pre pregnancy size in just a few short months.

I think it's good to have a back up plan and who knows, maybe four months will be a feasible amount of time to fit into your dress (they can always alter it a little bit too). Maybe use that as motivation to lose weight after the baby is born? Or maybe you can hang onto your original gown and in a few years plan a vacation where you can renew your vows and wear it then. Or can you try selling your original gown so you can put some extra money into a David's gown that's a similar style?

Also- as PP's have mentioned... if you go back to healthy eating and start a low impact light exercise routine, it will make it that much easier to get back into shape after the baby is born. Perhaps talk with your doctor about going back on Weight Watchers but with some obvious tweaks (allowing for additional calories). Or download a food tracker on your phone so your cognizant of what you're eating. Walking is a great and easy exercise that you can modify (flat roads for half hour to walking hills for an hour+) and adding a light weight routine can help build muscle that will keep your body burning calories throughout the day. Pilates or yoga are also great ways to stay healthy that can always be modified to your fitness level.

And keep in mind too, when I look back on my wedding day, the dress is the last thing I think about...being surrounded by loved ones, dancing non stop and exchanging vows with my DH are the things that I look back on the most.

megstervt · February 2016

I feel like I would be less worried about the weight/number on the scale as I would be about a change in my body shape. Even if you can lose the weight, it's possible you'll carry it differently than before so the dress would fit differently.

It is a bummer though to have to give up something so special and move to plan b. I think you'll be able to find a different dress that makes you feel beautiful. And like a PP said, chances are the dress will be something that barely hits your radar when you look back at the day!

thebigoaktree · February 2016

Towards the the David's bridal purchase. I bought my dress from them and that was it, I took it to a profession seamstress and she basically created a new dress out of the casing. I wouldn't let David's bridal touch my alterations anyway. To many horror stories of them not using strong enough ribbon for pinning your train up and then because of that ripping the lace. This is just my experience.

stillcozy · February 2016

thebigoaktree said:

Towards the the David's bridal purchase. I bought my dress from them and that was it, I took it to a profession seamstress and she basically created a new dress out of the casing. I wouldn't let David's bridal touch my alterations anyway. To many horror stories of them not using strong enough ribbon for pinning your train up and then because of that ripping the lace. This is just my experience.

All of this! Take the dress to a different seamstress often times David's alterations are extra expensive and my sil had a terrible experience with getting the dress back on time and having acceptable work done there! Check local tailors also and talk with them about your situation they may be able to already to put your mind at ease with certain alteration techniques such as using a corset back which is much for forgiving than a zipper or button back.

Linsbins · February 2016

Get a new dress so you aren't stressed about it. Then you would have both either way. Did your original dress come from David's Bridal? Don't settle. I loved my dress and wouldn't change it for anything. Shop around, since you have some time, because there are other stores that sell samples or one offs or resales.

DrillSergeantCat · February 2016

Sarcasm101 said:
I wouldn't count on this. First, not everyone is able to breastfeed. Second, everyone's body responses differently. I didn't loose my baby weight until I stopped breastfeeding because I was retaining so much water.
I agree with others that you might want to start exercising while pregnant. And I might be wrong, but I believe you can still do Weight Watchers while pregnant, you just have to adjust your points. If it has worked in the past, it might be worth looking into.

Weight Watchers will not let you be on their program while pregnant.

stillcozy · February 2016

Well then switch programs if you can't do weight watchers right now. there are many healthy eating programs that are fine while pregnant.

Knottie83732320 · February 2016

I am trying to eat as healthy as I can and I am exercising

my original dress did not come from David's Bridal it came from a smaller shop. I wish I could have a corset put in my dress but it wouldn't look good with my dress. It has a keyhole back with buttons going down. I made an appointment with David's Bridal to take advantage of their $99 sale this week and see if I can find something. Thank you all for your words of encourgement and advice.

PrimRoseMama · February 2016

sdLindenberg said:

You can't use the "if I'm not in pain" excuse my friend gained 80 pounds during her pregnancy. She went from 110 soaking wet to 190 before her son was born. Had a c-section, and even though she wasn't allowed to work out like normal, she made sure she at least went for a slow paced walk almost daily. More than likely, your dr will allow you to take a short walk if you have a c-section as long as someone else is pushing the stroller.

Just make sure to eat right, portion size, lots of water and get in your exercise.

Yeah I disagree with you. Post partum is a lot of pain no matter how you deliver. If you have a chronic pain condition like mine and lower lumbar fractures-- pain is life. So, exercise is not always as possible as you want. Add fatigue and breast feeding in there-- trust, its not an excuse. It real life. Are you a first time mom? I ask that because anyone who has been through the ordeal first hand is aware that post partum weight loss can be a real uphill slog for some. Your experience by proxy isn't the same as anything you might experience yourself. Its not fair to assign pain as an excuse. I'm saying this because often folks are not really aware about anyone else's experiences.

thebigoaktree · February 2016

I used the fit girl program, very affordable, dl's right on your phone and they're a very supportive on Instagram. Meal prep, exercises and all that jazz. I plan to go back on that when I'm done being pregnant. Even if you're just looking for healthier eating options it's still helpful.

amberraysofdawn · February 2016

sdLindenberg said:

You can't use the "if I'm not in pain" excuse my friend gained 80 pounds during her pregnancy. She went from 110 soaking wet to 190 before her son was born. Had a c-section, and even though she wasn't allowed to work out like normal, she made sure she at least went for a slow paced walk almost daily. More than likely, your dr will allow you to take a short walk if you have a c-section as long as someone else is pushing the stroller.

Just make sure to eat right, portion size, lots of water and get in your exercise.

There are few things that annoy me more than when people tell others that doing something should be easy or that they have no excuse just because some other person did that thing in this way. They're making an assumption about someone based on someone else's experience.

I know you're really proud of your friend, but that one line changes the whole tone of your post. You could just as easily have said the rest of it without that line, word for word, and it would have been an uplifting post about someone else's recovery story that might have actually been inspiring to somebody. But you didn't, and I honestly don't know if you meant it that way or not, or how OP took it, but it comes off as incredibly condescending. Childbirth and postpartum recovery are not a one size fits all experience.

Knottie83732320 · February 2016

MrsKtobe09 said:

sdLindenberg said:

You can't use the "if I'm not in pain" excuse my friend gained 80 pounds during her pregnancy. She went from 110 soaking wet to 190 before her son was born. Had a c-section, and even though she wasn't allowed to work out like normal, she made sure she at least went for a slow paced walk almost daily. More than likely, your dr will allow you to take a short walk if you have a c-section as long as someone else is pushing the stroller.

Just make sure to eat right, portion size, lots of water and get in your exercise.

There are few things that annoy me more than when people tell others that doing something should be easy or that they have no excuse just because some other person did that thing in this way. They're making an assumption about someone based on someone else's experience.

I know you're really proud of your friend, but that one line changes the whole tone of your post. You could just as easily have said the rest of it without that line, word for word, and it would have been an uplifting post about someone else's recovery story that might have actually been inspiring to somebody. But you didn't, and I honestly don't know if you meant it that way or not, or how OP took it, but it comes off as incredibly condescending. Childbirth and postpartum recovery are not a one size fits all experience.

I totally agree it's different for everyone. My aunt gained only 10 pounds when she was pregnant with my cousin 3 years ago and now all I hear from my mom is how I should only gain 10 pounds because my aunt was able to do it. Welp I gained more than that for sure! And my fiance was told that his coworkers wife lost 48 pounds during the first two months of breastfeeding so now he has it in his head that I will too. No one in my life seems to understand that it's different for everyone! So I'm just going to buy the back up dress Thursday and keep it to myself and use it for my wedding if I end up needing to.

charmedlifex3 · February 2016

I recently got married, and I can say, alterations people can sometimes work miracles.

Also, don't underestimate a good foundation. I gained 30lbs due to steroids. As of a week before the wedding, the alterations folks at the shop had a plan if I needed it. I ended up "deflating" enough (it was mostly water weight from the drugs) and the dress fit - barely WITH a corset bra I didn't try the dress on with orginally. No shame in the fact it took all three of my bridesmaids to zip the damn thing.

sunshineandwhiskey · February 2016

I don't know if this will be helpful, but I am getting married March 26. I will be on the border of 5 - 6 months by then. When I dropped my dress off, she really did not seem too concerned. She looked at everything and said she wasn't going to touch it until the end of Feb. I would talk to a well-recommended seamstress and see what they say. You would be surprised as to what they can do. My step-mom even offered to buy me a new dress and I just flat out refused because I am so in love with the one I have. It is definitely stressful, and has me feeling very anxious, so I feel your pain!

splsmama2016 · February 2016

First I would like to apologize to OP. I never meant to be rude or condescending, though I don't think I came off as either. Losing the weight will be tough, but if YOU want it bad enough, you'll work for it. Sure, you may or may not lose ALL of what you want to lose, but just imagine how great you'll feel when you think about all the effort you put into it. We all have goals, and if I'm still around these posts after having my kid, I know I'll turn to you ladies (probably in my BMB) for that moral support. You can do what you set your mind on, and we are here to cheer you on.

I am aware pregnancy isn't one size fits all. But it still doesn't mean that anyone doesn't have the power themselves to make it happen, or at least have a good try.

Ive gained a decent amount at this point. Probably more than I really should gain over the whole pregnancy. I, like yourself, have a dress to fit in 2 months postpartum. Granted it's not a wedding dress, but I'm Matron of Honor for my best friends wedding. The dress she picked is pretty, but I can tell you right now, it's going to be a struggle getting into that dress.

Either way, whichever dress you end up in, you'll look amazing and the last thing you'll be thinking about on your wedding day is what number the scale says.
Again, I apologize if I hurt your feelings with my original post. It wasn't my intention.

missshanab · February 2016

Alterations are your best friend! If your dress is a zip up, most stores can make it a lace up for under $200. This will make it bigger as well as allow you to adjust it to your curves! My dress was a lace back and they had to order a size smaller so that the alteration would work. Give it a shot!

YogaSandy · February 2016

PrimRoseMama said:

sdLindenberg said:

You can't use the "if I'm not in pain" excuse my friend gained 80 pounds during her pregnancy. She went from 110 soaking wet to 190 before her son was born. Had a c-section, and even though she wasn't allowed to work out like normal, she made sure she at least went for a slow paced walk almost daily. More than likely, your dr will allow you to take a short walk if you have a c-section as long as someone else is pushing the stroller.

Just make sure to eat right, portion size, lots of water and get in your exercise.

Yeah I disagree with you. Post partum is a lot of pain no matter how you deliver. If you have a chronic pain condition like mine and lower lumbar fractures-- pain is life. So, exercise is not always as possible as you want. Add fatigue and breast feeding in there-- trust, its not an excuse. It real life. Are you a first time mom? I ask that because anyone who has been through the ordeal first hand is aware that post partum weight loss can be a real uphill slog for some. Your experience by proxy isn't the same as anything you might experience yourself. Its not fair to assign pain as an excuse. I'm saying this because often folks are not really aware about anyone else's experiences.

All of this. Keep in mind I am a trained yoga, group fitness and resistance (weights) instructor, so I know exactly what needs to be done. PP was hell. DS had colic (another thing people have no clue about by proxy). He ate every. Two. Hours. Until close to a year. Didn't sleep through the night (and not consistently for much much longer) until 14 months. Throw in PPD and DH contracting a deadly lung fungus, so he couldn't get out of bed, let alone help. Often I would only be able to stuff whatever I could in my mouth (cookies, fruit, whatever was closest and didn't need cooking) because all I was trying to do was survive. I slept whenever DS slept because the intervals were so short and he wasn't screaming. There was no time for healthy eating (unless my mom or MIL helped - I did move in with my parents when DH was hospitalized and DS had colic). PP is not "excuses". You can't be sure how you or baby will react. It might be easy to lose the weight or you might have every struggle stacked against you and all the previous motivation in the world won't matter because losing weight comes much further down on the priority list than survival.

Even still, DS is s horrible sleeper (believe me, I have read everything on baby sleep and tried just about everything - his current favourite time is 4:30 am). I am a full time teacher - so I work long hours. The past two weeks (due to 4:30 wake ups) have been about survival instead - too much sugar and easy meals. DS is 2. I'm currently 5 pounds (and a lot less muscle mass, but I have started lifting again this week) heavier (still) then before I got pregnant.

YogaSandy · February 2016

sdLindenberg said:

First I would like to apologize to OP. I never meant to be rude or condescending, though I don't think I came off as either. Losing the weight will be tough, but if YOU want it bad enough, you'll work for it. Sure, you may or may not lose ALL of what you want to lose, but just imagine how great you'll feel when you think about all the effort you put into it. We all have goals, and if I'm still around these posts after having my kid, I know I'll turn to you ladies (probably in my BMB) for that moral support. You can do what you set your mind on, and we are here to cheer you on.

I am aware pregnancy isn't one size fits all. But it still doesn't mean that anyone doesn't have the power themselves to make it happen, or at least have a good try.

-------- SITB ---------
It still might not come down to how bad you want it. Could it? Definitely. Will it? Who knows. See my above post.

I've always wanted it bad enough. Hell, I train other people on how to help get it. Did any of that matter? Sure didn't.

I don't begin to assume that my experience will be someone else's, but it could be. So could the flip side. She could have no problem at all. Using phrases like "no excuses" (I am aware you've apologized for that one) and "if you just want it bad enough" can set people up to feel like failures when it doesn't work out that way. It's the exact same as the severely photoshopped PP pics of celebs accompanied by headlines such as "I got my body back in just six weeks."

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