First world problems......

MamaCoffin · February 2016

I just got my first ever positive OPK! Woo!

And DH and I started our day off with a huge argument and I'm so mad at him BDing is the furthest thing from my mind. Haha!

Think I can get him to use a turkey baster? Haha!

But, YAY! We just might have a chance this month!

BooksForMe23 · February 2016

Lol! I've been in that situation! I think I'm getting close to my FW and my husband is sick. Can I get away with telling him to suck it up?

cjs260 · February 2016

@jenmlangtake2Me too this morning!!! I thought I would never get a +OPK!...And LOL at the idea of a turkey baster! I have threatened my DH with that, haha!

@BooksForMe23 go ahead and pump him full of orange juice and let him know the show must go on

catiecatp · February 2016

I don't currently use OPKs but I got egg white CM last night right as we were about to go to sleep - I told DH that we had to BD in the morning before work (5:30 am - ugh!) and I told him why because EW CM is freakin' exciting in my books. He says I should have just jumped his bones... I feel like spontaneous sex at 5:30am is suspicious but next time I'll roll with it and I'll find an appropriate board here on TTCAL to share my news with SOMEONE : o )

Edit: to fix my smiley face

glamakitti · February 2016

Congrats. I was starting to think +opk were legends; I have never had one.
Just go up to hubby and pinch his bum hopefully it will make you both laugh and you can forget your argument. Good luck!

MamaCoffin · February 2016

glamakitti said:

Congrats. I was starting to think +opk were legends; I have never had one.
Just go up to hubby and pinch his bum hopefully it will make you both laugh and you can forget your argument. Good luck!

Lol thanks for the giggle!

catiecatp · February 2016

I have another first world problem that I think y'all might be able to relate to and have some advice for me. I hope @jenmlangtake2 doesn't mind me using the board she created - it is a similar issue - relates to sex and DH and BDing...

So DH doesn't want to know about CM or much about temping - he doesn't track the TWW like I do. And I thought I was fine with it - I think it is a turn off for him I think, which is counterproductive - but I'm feeling alone in terms of TTC. I know he wants to have kids now - his reaction to the MC clearly confirmed it, and he hasn't said anything to the contrary. We had an argument last night - about sex for pregnancy purposes rather than enjoyment, which doesn't happen often but did recently - and it evolved briefly into whether he really wants to have children and that I'm feeling alone in the non-BDing part of TTC.

My question/problem that I'd like help with is - how do I involve him with TTC so that I have more evidence of how he feels and so I don't feel so alone?

chloe97 · February 2016

@catiecatp I just tell my H everything, like when I get Crosshairs on FF, I tell him. When I'm concerned about my CM, I tell him and explain its purpose. I tell him the days that we need to BD as soon as I know them and tell him the days we can first test. He doesn't really say much or have any input, but I think he appreciates knowing what's going on. It also helps that he comes to every Drs appt with me. He started because he wanted to ask questions that I would obsess about, but would be too scared to ask.

Unfortunately, outside of avoiding pot, cutting back on caffeine, and skipping the sauna and hot tub, he doesn't really have much involvement in TTC at this point. But I think he appreciates that I keep him in the loop.

DinosaurJumper · February 2016

I am in the same boat with @catiecatp I know DH wants kids, but anything TTC related falls on closed ears. That's just how he is though, he doesn't know how to console me or anything so he just nods and says, "Yeah,". All he ever is involved in is BDing of course and dragging me away from the pharmaceutical aisle at the store. I fear that pregnancy would be the same way. How do you try to involve someone that doesn't want to know that stuff?

catiecatp · February 2016

@DinosaurJumper - I've got the all clear to talk about fertility stuff AFTER we BD (kind of - he doesn't get the final say on everything and this is what I've decided is the compromise). It isn't as big of an issue as it might otherwise be, because we have regular sex outside of the FW. Maybe what we need to do is think of ways to talk about the dreams we have for our future children? Talk about things we want to do with them and stuff - which is always a good plan anyways. DH and I have the big things down - e.g., education and paying for it - though we need to revisit religion, I thought we had that squared away but I'm not confident anymore.

We had a taste of what it will be like when I'm pregnant and I think it will be better than TTC - in part because there are more ways to be active/participate. He wants to come to doctors appointments and ultrasounds - but there is a limit on how many he can go to because if he takes time off work he doesn't get paid and we don't want to be an inconvenience to his colleagues if the appointment isn't critical - because we like them and don't want them having to do more work than is their share. I don't know if I'll be able to get him to read books on pregnancy - but he'll read sections. But once the baby is here I know DH will be involved - and if something goes wrong, I know DH will be involved (he was amazing with the MC). So maybe perspective is what I need...

BornReady · February 2016

@catiecatp My DH is similar to yours. I tell him the timing and such, but I don't think we have ever discussed stuff like CM other than in an observational way by him. Back when I first started temping the beeping on my thermometer used to make him so annoyed. For my DH, I think it's an anxiety thing. Like it was putting pressure on him to make things happen/reminded him that it wasn't happening. We got into a rhythm of saying, "window is open" or "window is closed" and planning timing, but other than that we don't discuss it too much. That's why I have you ladies!

I also don't think it's a real reflection of interest in getting pregnant. I think being a parent is such an evolving process for men. It happens from a very different place for women, we have this physical and chemical desire/bond from the get go, but for my DH it took seeing the heartbeat, seeing ultrasounds, and holding his baby for him to feel like he did something in this process. It's all just so abstract until then.

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