Sex

cheetagirl · February 2016

ugh. I'm 10 weeks post baby. No sex. I'm frankly scared out of my wits. I don't want it to hurt/make me bleed. I don't want to get pregnant, and I'm freaking out about that possibility... But I also feel really really nervous and scared. I feel almost like a virgin again. I haven't had sex in a year. Our baby was an IVF baby and we were told to be very careful so no sex. my husband has been very good and patient.. but how long can I expect him to wait the poor guy. How do I get over this?

kmd91 · February 2016

Honestly, I think your best bet is to stop overthinking it. Stressing about it isn't going to help you at all, which I understand not worrying is easier said than done, but still. Try and relax or you're a lot more likely to have an unpleasant experience.

As as far as advice about the sex itself, it's been discussed a number of times in different threads. Lube. Take it slow/at your own pace. And remember that if you find it too uncomfortable you can always stop and try again another time. Keeping all of that in mind may help to ease your mind and become more willing to get back in the game.

ColoradoHiker · February 2016

My best advice is just give it a try. Start slow, use lots of lube, and make sure you both understand that it may take more than one try. Our first post baby sex attempt was not great, but it's gotten better every time since.

rubirubi89 · February 2016

Just go for it! Im all for it, but apparently I gave birth to professor Xavier and he knows exactly when we're trying to do it and starts crying.

dramaphile · February 2016

Maybe try some making out and heavy petting with no promise of going all the way, just to get more comfortable with your body? I was nervous, but it was alright the first time and even better the second time when I could relax more. Use lots of lube and go slow, and warn your H ahead of time you might need to stop or change positions or slow down at any point. Communication is key! I still get sore after 15 or 20 minutes or so and need to change positions or switch to a different activity.

mrsgabus · February 2016

I'm 11 weeks out and still haven't tried. I'm not the slightest bit scared to do it , just haven't found the time or urge to do It.

I suggest some lube , some heavy kissing anf see where that goes . Practice makes perfect

cheetagirl · February 2016

Thank you for answering everyone. Hope the dryspell goes away soon for us. It's almost our anniversary. I'll try to relax and I'll buy some lube soon and see if we can get things going again. he's my best friend so it shouldn't be too scary to do this...I just have to keep reminding myself lol

laswett · February 2016

I'm 10 weeks pp today and we finally tried for the first time last night. Honestly, I was terrified because of this thread lol. We just did what we normally do, making out etc, and we had no problems at all. No pain, no soreness, no problems with positions and no need for lube. I had a 4th degree and was scared it would be awful.

jlynnd75 · February 2016

I am 12 weeks pp and we still haven't tried yet either. I'm nervous, scared of it hurting again and just the nerves of it being so long since we have done it in so long. But for us we just haven't yet because we literally don't have the time, when we do have time we are falling asleep lol so good for you mommas who find the time! My advice for you is the same I tell myself, just take it slow and try to be relaxed

Tealmoore · February 2016

Just keep calm and go super slow. We tried at 10 weeks after and it was a little stingy at first but very quickly was back to normal. I also had the fear though and felt like a virgin again....wandering if it will hurt and also feeling a bit self conscious about the mess that is my lady bits after childbirth but all was good. Good luck xx

Kristi4938 · February 2016

I just want to echo what others have already said. Use lots of lube and take it slow. It was a little uncomfortable the first couple times but has gotten much better each time since. I never thought I would enjoy sex again, but I actually have been reminded how great it can be!

queenwog · February 2016

rubirubi89 said:

Just go for it! Im all for it, but apparently I gave birth to professor Xavier and he knows exactly when we're trying to do it and starts crying.

Ugh, same here. We've had sex all of once since LO was born in early December, and while I want to more often, LO is making that incredibly difficult.

smnewby · February 2016

I am 13 weeks pp and was seen last week by ob/gyn to check on my iud. I'm still having some mild pain with intercourse and ZERO pleasure. I decided to bring that up with her. She said thats not normal given my delivery and how far out I am from delivery.

She did an exam and said I have "lactational atrophic vaginitis". Pretty much breastfeeding is suppressing my hormones so much that the tissue down there is atrophying. She said it has bad bloodflow and its a pretty severe case. So unless I take estrogen which can tank my supply or just stop breastfeeding I can expect no change.

My advice is if you continue to have problems talk to your OB.

Edit to include it is an odd predicament...return of good sex or good nutrition for baby. Natures idea of a wicked practical joke. Feel bad for hubby because baby wins hands down.

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