Another Day Another Post..

parker024 · February 2016

So recently i wrote about what was going on with my current situation in the "trying to conceive." It is harder than it seems. I actually had a emotional breakdown yesterday which i believe i needed a good cry like a baby to let things go. It has been one year today that i have been trying and now after my doctor's appointment i have to go through the fertility doctor within a few weeks or so. I have never been so overwhelmed in my life beside the day i got married. So here is what happened.. Yesterday i had a stressful situation at work and when i came home my husband mentioned to me that he had something to tell me. So i listened and as i listened my heart felt as if it was pulled out because yesterday he told me that his sister is pregnant and she didnt know how to tell me because she thought it was bad timing and she knew where i stood in the whole baby situation. I felt sad but happy for her but why do i feel so selfish in wanting to scream. I know people are not trying to get pregnant around me on purpose, i know this happen and life goes on but i just feel as if i am left behind as always. Well on the bright side, there is always another day another tomorrow.
*positive vibes on my journey to the fertility doctor*

Angelic789 · February 2016

Hello parker!
I think everyone on this site knows exactly how you feel.

Other people's pregnancies and the birth of their babies can really bring home our own loss. This great piece of news as for your husband’s sister is a lot to deal with. So I'm not surprised you are feeling down. It probably feels like everyone is popping out a baby except you (which of course isn't true!) If only the words could be more supportive! If only the things were just what they were supposed to be.

Acknowledging you find it hard and that it’s ok for you to feel this way does help. It's also ok to put you and your treatment first. If it's too difficult to go out and buy presents right away then leave it until you feel stronger. You also don't need to visit the mum to be away if it's too difficult. Wait until you're ready.
You can always tell a white lie. Saying you didn't want to bombard her with visitors too soon! Take time to get positive emotions. I believe one day you’ll hear your long-awaited “congrats!” as well.
Wishing you the best of luck for your treatment x

tvh1982 · February 2016

I'm sorry to hear that a news that should be joyful hurts you so much. I can totally relate, as many other women on this forum.
Don't beat yourself up about the whole 'i want to scream part'. Scream if you want to, cry, shout, laugh, ..whatever emotion you have right there and then, let it out. You are allowed to feel that. You honestly are.
Of course we feel selfish..why can they get pregnant and not we? Its so unfair.

Glad to read you still see the bright side and are keep going strong. (but don't think you have to be strong all the time) keep going, GL on your journey and think fertile! xoxo

rchef21 · February 2016

@parker024 YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!! I think we all feel that way at times. One of my bff's is pg again (we were one week apart pg with our boys) and that was ok to hear, because I figured it would happen for me sooner than later.... Well, my SIL just came to me (we are extremely close, even have our cycles just a couple days apart)and told me she was PG. I was ok with it until I got my period yesterday..... I broke down last night to my DH and was upset, and wanted it to be me so badly, but I'm so excited for my SIL also.

Try to stay positive in this journey, it's a hard and emotional one, but you and your DH will get through it! Good luck with your Dr. appointment! Wish you all the best!

ultratomato · February 2016

I completely know how you feel and its alright to feel this way. I had a bad day at work yesterday and y gave a position to some other girl who had no experience compared to my 5 yr experience. I had emotional breakdown and cried outside work and kicked some snow to get out my anger. And I had a moment where I said I can't do anything right I can't even get pregnant. I'm still upset and bitter today about the job situation. And about ppl who just sit on a toilet it seems and get pregnant. I'm not trying to be bitter Betty over here but I'm loosing my positivity. It feels so much better to vent. Hope you are having a better day today @parker024

thejessicanicol · February 2016

@parker024 I'm sorry for what you're going through but try to think of it this way, she is trying to be sensitive to you. I would love for some sensitivity! Some friends that know my situation seem to "gloat" almost at their coming babies. It kills me to see baby posts. I'm the youngest of my friends! Ugh. Then to make it worse, my SIL hid her genetic test results from us when we announced that we're doing IVF. (She is too.) We went into this thing with no idea there was a genetic problem.

It's not going to be easy for you, this process is terrible. I feel myself becoming bitter everyday. But you have people around you that love you and I'm sure that support you. You'll get through it

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