"You'll feel different when you have a baby...." that's what I heard over and over when I was planning my child free wedding reception and you know what?? I don't!! I do not feel different about kids not being acceptable on all occasions. I still don't understand why people get so butthurt over their kids not being invited to everything that they get invited to.
Honestly, those people are just selfish in my opinion. Would it be easier to bring LO with me everywhere? Yes (sometimes). Would it be cheaper than hiring a babysitter? Yes. But you know what I chose to have a baby and now he's MY (and DH's) responsibility. No one elses. If people are hosting an event they can invite whomever they choose and I don't have the right to get upset that I need to do extra work to make arrangements for my child. I also can't get upset (and neither can they) when I have to turn down an invitation because arrangements for my LO just won't work.
Of course there's always exceptions, but seriously every time I hear someone bitch that their cousin doesn't want kids at her wedding. They sound like, "Whhaaa I have to find a babysitter. They won't just let me do whatever I want at their event. Boo hoo hoo me!!" I just want to yell GROW UP!
I know this sounds pretty "dear diary", but just thought I'd see what you all have to say. Did you have an opinion on this topic before kids? Has it changed?
Re: Babies & Weddings
Thankfully our friends share our feelings. My 3yo has been to 4 weddings, all of them we had to fly to (so we didn't know any sitters). The one I was a bridesmaid, they arranged a family member to hold her for the ceremony. The one she was a flower girl she wasn't quite 2 and behaved amazingly well!
to leave my kids doesn't mean I'm going to stay up all hours of the night doing shots at some
dive bar. I still need to take care of them the next day or when they wake up in the middle of the night.
Now that I have children I would prefer to go without them. Ha! We have had weddings for friends and used babysitters but if we had a family wedding and they were invited we would certainly bring them if they weren't too little.
When DS1 was only 3 months we had a family wedding out of town and had a babysitter stay with the baby in the hotel room while we attended the wedding. Wedding took place right at the hotel so I was able to run back to the room and nurse if I needed to. That's the best case scenario to me with a very little baby.
That being said, I would not be in the least bit annoyed if someone chose to have their event child-free and would happily arrange a sitter. I get it. My husband and I both chose professions where we work with children and youth all day. Obviously we enjoy having kids around but I get that not everyone enjoys other people's kids and the noise and mess that they might bring.
At our wedding we had very limiter seating available and having a ton of kids just wasn't an option. We ended up letting a cousin bring their infant - no big deal, they were BFing and it was a small baby. But that opened a floodgate and we were essentially being bullied into letting other people bring kids because this one baby was coming. It was a pretty shitty situation to be put in and I would NEVER do that that someone else. We also had a crazy distant relative continuously trying to make her daughter a flower girl...but that's a whole other story.
My SIL is currently planning her wedding (date is not even set yet) and I'm already talking to my family/friends about potentially babysitting. I know kids are not props, but I feel like its important for them to be there at certain times (pictures) and not there a certain times (toasts). So I'll make sure someone is there to help with my LO during the entire day.
When we got married DH's sister didn't even START considering a babysitter until like 2 weeks before the wedding after her LO had a total melt down at my shower. She had to be taken outside the house by her aunt the whole time (so aunt missed the entire shower that she helped plan). This was for a kid who had never sat through church, never sat through dinner at a restaurant, cried constantly. I finally had to ask "So who's going to miss the ceremony to sit outside with her? Mom? Dad? Sister of the groom?" Unbelievable!
I'm so tempted to say something like "Oh we'll just figure out a babysitter that week before or something..." when the new bride asks what we're planning to do. I don't want to be that bitchy though!
Just plan ahead and don't inconvenience everyone else because you don't want to pay for a sitter.