Car seats - Am I Crazy?

Car0liiine · February 2016

FTM and I'll start by saying I realize I have no experience. Everyone seems to be of the opinion that you absolutely want one of the car seats that you can take out and use as a carrier and snap into a stroller. But after watching women day in and day out lugging around their car seats at the pediatricians office I work at, I decided I do not want to do that. I just don't think I'm physically strong enough to carry anything but a newborn in one of those cumbersome things. ( I struggled with my nephew when he was like 5 months) So I was planning on getting a convertible car seat like the graco 4 ever or similar, and a nice stroller that will convert to a double when we have more kids. (Looking at the baby jogger city select) It would save so much money to just get those off the bat I feel. When I tell anyone this they act like I am insane. "No! You won't want to wake the baby up when it's fallen asleep in the car seat!!!" . . . Will I not be taking the child out of the car seat whenever I get where I'm going anyway? I would just rather use an on- your-body type carrier or stroller. So tell me, am I insane?

bananers · February 2016

You might not take the baby out of the seat at your destination if s/he is still sleeping. I can't count the number of times we would go somewhere and DS was sound asleep, so we brought him inside and let him nap in the car seat until he woke up. Sleep is precious and you'll take it when you can get it.

The other nice thing about infant seats us that you can just buy an extra base to keep in DH's car and the one seat can go back and forth. Once you graduate to a convertible seat you'll have to get one for each car, which is expensive.

ETA: I would also keep a wrap or soft carrier in my car and if he was awake once we got to our destination I would just put him in that. It is awkward to carry the car seat, especially as they get heavier.

bameier · February 2016

We have only used a convertible car seat with DS who is 16 months. I used a wrap carrier when he was small and an umbrella stroller when he big enough (now he mostly walks). It worked well for us and we have the same plan for this LO.

Duffgurl · February 2016

I agree with @bananers I would keep our little one in the car seat if he was asleep. I too would take my Moby or Ergo. So when he woke up and wanted out he can be in the carrier. It may seem like a lot but it really isn't and you get used to it.

haboobjob · February 2016

I know a couple mom friends that did a convertible from the start. Most of them switched to the normal infant carrier for the exact reason @bananers mentioned. Plus newborns sleep soooo much and you'll appreciate those moments when you are out and the baby is asleep. I didn't think I would be physically strong enough (absolutely no upper body strength) but you surprise yourself. Now I'm lugging around my 20 lb toddler everywhere in the carrier and it feels like nothing. You aren't insane though.. It's totally your choice and I know it does work for some people especially when you are baby wearing.

WildWhat · February 2016

Also a first time mom--but nanny for many years--and planning to use a convertible car seat (Greco 4ever) paired with baby wearing (Ergo 360 cool mesh with infant insert) and stroller for when baby is a bit older (baby jogger city select). Like you, I've gotten lots of feedback that this is an insane plan. But when I would nanny I really hated lugging those awkward car seats all around. Baby wearing just seems 10x more comfortable! Of course, maybe I'll change my mind when the little one arrives, but just wanted to chime in that you're not the only one and that certainly, people do it without those carriers (or else Greco wouldn't sell any of the convertable car seats!)

PS- we're also planning on getting a bourjn (spell?) bounce seat so baby has a place to sit inside.

mumblefrog86 · February 2016

2nd time mom here. Trust me you want an infant seat. Sleeping baby and not waking is golden. May times if she fell asleep I could bring her in asleep and not have to wake her. I am an avid babywearing myself but the seat when baby was asleep was a godsend. If a baby was awake I'd wear her for groceries and such. When it is your kid the seat plus baby doesn't feel so bad especially your muscles grow as baby grows you get stronger.

texasmama2014 · February 2016

1. Graco 4 ever is not a recommended car seat because it typically expires before you can use all the functions, so I would suggest looking at other convertible options. (Love my Graco contender).
2. You will get stronger as baby grows, the newborn will gain gradually so just like in weight training your muscles will build to handle it.
3. Napping in a bucket seat during errands and in the stroller is fantastic.
4. Infants won't have the neck strength for a stroller right away, so you would have to wear exclusively for several months, which also can get heavy!
5. I plan to use both a convertible and bucket since I have convertibles already installed and it may be easier to just toss the new baby in (keeping the infant insert in the car, DD is still rearfacing.)
6. Car seats for the littles on Facebook is an awesome resource, I recommend everyone join!

mooncusp22 · February 2016

Lugging the infant carseat is kinda a pain (not so bad at the beginning when they are light but gets tougher and tougher) but so much easier to take it out and click it into a stroller then waking up an infant to put her into a stroller.

wlux · February 2016

2nd time mom.

Im all for options. I wouldn't let myself have less options (the ability to take infant seat in and out) when it comes to babies they have preferences too.

DD hated to be worn. Nothing I could do to wear her and keep her happy so infant seat it was....

searchingforameaning · February 2016

I think the season impacts it as well. I am far less likely to want to take a newborn out of a cozy warm seat when they are sleeping in the winter than if it were summer. My oldest also went thru a phase maybe around 6 months where he would not nap for us. Could not stop moving and settle down. The only way we could get him to take a nap (that he so desperately needed) was to lock him up - buckled in his car seat sitting in the crib... needless to say he was diagnosed with ADHD this past year. Sometimes I find him in his bed now sleeping with hands pinned down under his back and his legs tucked under his butt... he really can not stop moving to fall asleep so he has at times pinned himself down!

kwilliams3402 · February 2016

We're currently thinking of getting the infant seat/travel system stroller for use with one car, and instead of buying another base, just buying a convertible car seat to put in the other car. I go back and forth and that may change, and am a FTM.

Pepper6 · February 2016

It's definitely possible to skip the infant seat, but having used it for dd, I can't imagine doing it myself. I wore her occasionally, but it's not ideal for every situation. For example, going out to eat...do you really want to wear your infant while you are sitting down trying to eat? Clothes shopping, you can't try anything on with a baby strapped to you and you have nowhere to set them down (and with changing sizes after pregnancy, clothes shopping can be a necessity). Going to the bathroom anywhere. It's possible and I've done it, but definitely not an easy task. Going to visit a friend. Unless they have a bouncy seat or something, you'll have to hold your baby the entire time you're there. Etc etc etc.

Yes, they infant seat can get heavy, but you get used to it (wearing 10lbs+ on your chest can get heavy pretty quick too). But the benefits far outweigh it. We switched to a convertible seat when dd was around 8 months and got too heavy for me, but by then she was sitting up on her own and had more scheduled naps, which makes a huge difference in the need for an infant seat outside of the car.

lalalorelai · February 2016

There was a fantastic thread about this on another BMB awhile back -- I did some halfhearted searching and couldn't find it, but if you're more motivated maybe you can check it out! It was people from both sides of the argument, some who did the convertible from the beginning and some who were adamant that you absolutely need the infant seat first. It's a good resource but it convinced me as a FTM that I need to just go with the infant seat. There are so many variables (whether your baby will take to being worn, how often you travel by car vs. walk vs. public transport, how big your baby is at birth) that it just seems easier to go with the infant seat. Sure it's a little more money in the long run but I think the convenience will be more than worth it.

I'm planning on getting a travel system with a stroller that the car seat can click into and that will also work for toddlers once they outgrow the infant seat. If I'm going anywhere where I think I'll get too tired lugging the seat around, I'll just make sure to either take the stroller or wear the baby if s/he tolerates that. Plus I figure I won't be able to work out nearly as much once the baby comes, so this is just another chance to get my strength training in!

ginger819 · February 2016

With DD we used a travel system. You certainly could skip it and go to an all in one, but we personally liked being able to pull her car seat out and put it in a stroller or sitting it next to us when we went out to eat. It will be a while until they can sit up in a highchair, stroller, or cart and you probably don't want to have to hold them the whole time. You could always just leave the car seat in the car if you are going to carry the baby. DD is 9 months and anymore we just leave the car seat in its base and pull her out, because it is heavy with her in it. We have an all in one we will probably be switching her over to soon.

charmedlifex3 · February 2016

I was of the same opinion as you (and we have the added thought my husband was 24inches at birth - so the lifespan of the bucket seat will be limited due to height.)
What we decided to do was to buy a cheaper alternative and NOT buy the recommenced second base. We are looking at the Diono Radian seats as a long term seat. They have a ten year expatriation date. We plan to buy two of the convertibles, one for each of our cars, one immediately to put in my husband's car (the one we'll use less) and the other when the baby out grows the infant seat.
We ended up going with last year's model of the Britax, got it on clearance for less than a hundred dollars. You can find perfectly safe cheaper alternatives at places like Wal-Mart as well. The Graco click connect has great reviews, and the whole system can be had for under $200.00. Some seats are lighter than others - we ended up with a relatively heavier one, but since we think weight won't be as much of an issue as length, I was comfortable with that.
If we DO out grow the infant seat quickly(as I have a sneaking suspicion will happen- my DH is 6'5 and my dad is 6'3) I didn't invest a whole bunch of money into it, and the seat doesn't expire for a few more years (2019)- I will pop it up on CL as long as there hasn't been an accident and make back a quarter of what I paid, or pass it along to a friend or family member.
Planning on it NOT being a long term option for me let me make a decision that made sense for our family. If you accept that due to what you feel comfortable lifting it won't be, and look at what the cost to benefit ratio is for that short period, it may help your decision. Eventually I decided those first few weeks are hard enough. If we can afford it, anything which makes the immediate post partum easier is worth it. I couldn't justify spending a few hundred on a seat we'll likely only use for a few months.
I have seen some babies use them (safely) up to a year though. And just because the seat DOES detach, doesn't mean you have to. You can still take the baby out of the seat!
I'm also a FTM, but I wanted to share my thought process... Take it for what it's worth!

bananers · February 2016

Regarding travel systems: FWIW, I have heard from several people who bought the travel systems that they didn't like the stroller it came with -- that it was too big and bulky for everyday use, but not hearty enough for jogging or long trips, like to the zoo.

We ended up getting a simple click-and-go style frame (https://www.amazon.com/Graco-Snugrider-Elite-Stroller-Carrier/dp/B00UVW3WHK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1454878667&sr=8-1&keywords=graco+click+and+go) that was perfect for quick trips. Super lightweight and the car seat clicked right in. It also has a nice large basket in the bottom, so I would use it for the grocery store or target instead of a cart unless I had too much to buy. (which brings me to another point - it is NOT safe to perch your car seat on top of the cart, despite how much you see it done).

And then for jogging or longer walks, we got a BOB.

Yeah, it's more stuff to buy, but we got our BOB off Craigslist and found our click connect frame at a consignment store. So you can do it on a budget too.

katiedidthat · February 2016

We went straight to a convertible seat with our oldest, as I couldn't imagine carrying the carrier around. I wore him a lot, and laid him in a lay down stroller when he was sleeping and we were out.

With my second, we started with an infant seat due to his being under 5lbs (preemie). I kept him in that for about 3 months, but then moved him to a convertible. When he was first coming home, his physical therapist was VERY adamant that he should only be in the seat while in the car, never allowed to sleep in it once we reached a destination. She said that the current use of infant seats is starting to affect the spine development of babies, as for many- they are put in the seat at 9am, taken into the grocery store still in the seat, back into be car, then mom stops for lunch and they sit in the car seat. After lunch, mom takes them home and they're asleep so she brings them in the house to nap for another hour or more. Now baby has been in a c-curve position with their head in a static position for 6+ hours, only removed for diaper changes or maybe feedings. They are seeing a high rate of babies with spinal issues, low muscle tone, and flat spots on their heads. She said the baby should never be in a seat more than 90 minutes at a time.
We never had an issue with moving a sleeping baby from car seat into the house to continue a nap, and I still do it with my kids at 3 and almost 2, too.

bananers · February 2016

@katiedidthat - that's an excellent point about babies being in car seats too much and I wholeheartedly agree with that, despite being one of those moms who couldn't imagine not having the infant seat in the beginning. I always preferred to hold/wear DS as much as possible, even though I still believe the ability to not wake a sleeping infant is priceless. But newborns tend to sleep in spurts a lot, at least in the beginning - 20 minutes here, an hour there, etc.

hmcjohnston · February 2016

We did the carrier in one car and a convertible in the other with our first and it worked great. She's 16 months now and we plan on doing the same with this new little one. I was a big baby wearer, but that carrier was often a godsend when the baby was sleeping. She would wake up (still does) the second we would taker her out of the convertible. With the carrier she would sleep for a much longer time.

Car0liiine · February 2016

Thanks everyone! Appreciate hearing everyone's different experiences. We went and looked at products yesterday and I think at first we will try just using a convertible seat and a stroller with the bassinet or carrier. We can always run out and get a bucket seat if we need to so I figure err on the side of buying fewer products.
Oh and another thing everyone thinks I'm crazy for; we do not plan on buying a crib.

smilormarie · February 2016

Car0liiine said:

I just don't think I'm physically strong enough to carry anything but a newborn in one of those cumbersome things. ( I struggled with my nephew when he was like 5 months).

Remember the following things and then decide:
1. Your strength increases with your child's age. I remember babysitting before being a mom and having my arms hurt for a week, or playing with my 4 month old nephew at his baptism and wondering why my arms were burning like I just got the flu shot. You will gradually get stronger as your kid gets bigger. I have never had a day when I had my arms hurt with my own kid and he was a super chunk as a baby.
2. You can find a very light infant carrier. Mine was by far one of the lightest on the market at barely 7.5 lbs. you can shy away from the super heavy ones (baby bargains has the weights and deets on all the car seats if you can check out the 2015 or 2013 version.)
3. There will be times you can't hold a newborn and complete your errands. If you are a pro at baby wearing - great, it may work for you. But imagine grocery shopping with a 1 or 2 month old who can't sit in the front seat of the cart and you need to hold the baby and push the cart and pick up items off the shelves. 4. People being nosy. For some reason, people like to go up to strange babies and touch their hands or their face. Why? And even more so if someone is holding the baby - like it's more inviting somehow. I appreciated having the kiddo tucked in the car seat with a car seat cover laying over the handle draping and covering baby to avoid people touching, random sneezes, etc, those first 4 months.
5. By the time baby is too heavy to be toted around in a carrier, They are usually big enough to sit up on their own in a shopping cart (maybe with a little help) and you can leave the car seat permanently clicked into the base in your car and just take baby in and strap them in again each time.
6. Infant carrier car seats are proven safest for infants. Although convertible car seats are rated as low as 4 or 5 lbs, they are not exactly meant for newborns or small infants and most do not even include infant inserts and you have to get creative with rolled up receiving blankets to get the best fit.
7. It's quicker to click a seat into a base or unclick an infant carrier from a base. It takes several minutes to get a baby correctly strapped into a car seat. So factor in a few extra minutes going and coming for each trip if you forego the infant carrier.

good luck!

smilormarie · February 2016

WildWhat said:

... but just wanted to chime in that you're not the only one and that certainly, people do it without those carriers (or else Greco wouldn't sell any of the convertable car seats!)

Graco would still sell a ton of convertible car seats. Convertible car seats are primarily geared for 1-5 years of age, the first couple years being able to "convert" to rear facing, the last two years being able to be forward facing. Please do not confuse the two. Almost all children will need a convertible for several years before they qualify for a traditional forward facing standard car seat.

Sekerambo · February 2016

I guess I'm one of the only ones but I went straight to a convertible with my dd and am absolutely going to do it again for this baby. It is actually way easier than people assume and really takes no more time than pulling out a stroller. You will also have way more room for groceries or other items in the cart since it won't be taken up by the car seat.
I loved my ring sling early on and still use it to this day. Although, I now have many types of carriers. I wore my dd right away and never had an issue with her refusing to be worn. The only babies that I've known to hate being worn were not worn right away or were in carriers that weren't comfortable.
Also, a couple other things. Babies are not supposed to be in car seats longer than they are in the car. I have known many therapists (my parent did foster care for many years) that were very adamant that my mom take the babies we had out of the car seat, as soon as they got where they were going.
Not all convertibles are created equal but some are absolutely as safe as an infant car seat. Check out the safety sites and make sure you are choosing one that will work. Some of the latest crash tests are actually showing that people are keeping their babies in infant seats too long, even though the babies are within the car seat restrictions.
Finally, I watch a 9 month old in addition to my dd (21 mo), that has an infant car seat and hates to be worn. I hated having to carry the car seat so much that I quit going places until she could sit in a cart.
Feel free to pm me if you have any questions. People swore I would regret my decision and I haven't yet!

Edited because my phone died before I was done.

amccul20 · February 2016

you have gotten lots of great advice from people. I do want to add that i'm pregnant with baby #2 and I am happy that I'll have an infant car seat for this baby and we won't need to buy a new convertible seat for my son. eventually, especially if you plan on having more than one child, you'll need to spend the money.

by the time baby #2 is ready for the convertible car seat my son will likely need a new car seat as well...so we'll just keep moving them up and out!

jacmkelley · February 2016

When I was pregnant with DD I felt similarly but my grandmother bought me the the whole system with the carrier seat etc... I loved it. It's not as uncomfortable as it looks. And you learn to lift it even if you aren't the strongest of all women. I can tell you when DD was asleep it was so nice to just let her finish a nap in that carrier. It may seem like more of a hassle but honestly it's worth the bulkiness in carrying!

DoxieLove05 · February 2016

I was worried about the same thing and did a lot of research I ended up landing on a combo of both. I am going to get the Nuna Mixx and the Nuna Pipa car seat. Warning they are a bit pricing but the stroller should last years, and I will reuse when the time come again. The car seat has one of the best safety rating and is super light weight. There are adapters so you can choose to set the car seat in the stroller, or you can use the stroller with the seat it comes with. I tested the set out at a store this weekend and fell in love, definitely worth the extra $.

WildWhat · February 2016

Sure, @smilormarie but my point there was just that plenty of folks don't use car seats to tote around their infants. Certainly, the majority here do, but it's by no means the only way to do it. (There is no "right," only what's right for you and your family!)

MamaKSquared · February 2016

FTM here, so I don't have any experience, but I've thought this through a lot. We plan to go with the infant seat. If baby is awake and alert when we get where we're going, we can just wear baby. If it's sleeping, I know we'll be happy to not have to wake it and just put the car seat on a cart or stroller. When I've had friends visit with infants, they seem happy to have a dedicated place for baby to nap when they arrive. When they wake up, they come out and when it's time to go, they can get baby all buckled in and just click the car seat in the base. It just seems so convenient!

Ceventa · February 2016

For DS we used the click-in infant seat. It is a pain to carry that thing around when they get bigger. DS was a really chubby baby so he got heavy fast LOL It was fantastic though to just clip that seat in the car or stroller and go. Totally up to you! When I was a FTM I didn't even think of going with anything other than the infant, so I don't know what to tell you about going the other route. We still have the seat, so we will use it for LO too.

rubredvelvet · July 2016

Sorry to bump this from February- but 3rd time mom here and just now getting around to buying our seat.

I was was wondering if any of the moms here that are going straight to a convertible have any seat suggestions. I've read that some even that are listed for 5lb are not the best for littles. Just wondering if anyone has a model they really recommend.

tisunge602 · July 2016

@rubredvelvet Check out Lucie's List. She's my go-to for baby gear guides and hasn't steered me wrong yet!
https://www.lucieslist.com/gear-guides/best-convertible-car-seat/

She says the best convertible seats for newborns are (you can scroll down the above linked page to "Seats for Special Situations" to see the list directly):

For Newborns — Combi Coccoro ($240), Maxi-Cosi Pria 70 ($250), Chicco NextFit ($330), Britax G4 series ($290+)

bsckgb7 · July 2016

rubredvelvet said:

Sorry to bump this from February- but 3rd time mom here and just now getting around to buying our seat.

I was was wondering if any of the moms here that are going straight to a convertible have any seat suggestions. I've read that some even that are listed for 5lb are not the best for littles. Just wondering if anyone has a model they really recommend.

I have used LuciesList for recommendations for various baby items. Here is link to the discussion about convertibles. (scroll down on the that link and she discusses convertibles for newborns)I have found it super helpful!!

https://www.lucieslist.com/gear-guides/best-convertible-car-seat/

cait5413 · July 2016

kwilliams3402 said:

We're currently thinking of getting the infant seat/travel system stroller for use with one car, and instead of buying another base, just buying a convertible car seat to put in the other car. I go back and forth and that may change, and am a FTM.

This is what we did. I have the infant seat in my car, since it is the car we will be using the most, and we are installing the convertible in DH's car, so then we'll already have it when baby outgrows the infant seat.

Also, whatever option you go with, please make sure it is installed correctly! Our local firehouse will inspect/install for you. They did a great job putting the carseat in my car and told me to come back when baby arrives and they will make sure the straps are tight enough and everything is correct with baby in the seat. It was great. Do some googling--some hospitals also offer the service. A lot of carseats are installed incorrectly, which means they are not as safe as they should be! So, having someone else show me how to do it (they are trained) really set my mind at ease.

c1kc1kpol1cn1k · July 2016

@katiedidthat
100% agree with what you are saying. I'm a FTM but see so many women leaving their babies in the car seat for most of the day which destroy's their back.

I'm from europe and almost no one uses the car seat travel system, they will have a car seat then put the baby in a carrier or bassinet. I went with Peg Perego Book pop-up bassinet which will be great to have baby lying flat while doing errands and then in the seat while driving.

Sekerambo · July 2016

@rubredvelvet - Dd went straight into a britax advocate from day one and the fit was great (no head flopping, etc.). She is now 2 and well within the rear facing limits. They didn't have the click tight at the time so we went with the standard seat. We now have a click tight as well and they are so easy to install properly.

Stephanie7693 · July 2016

I like having the infant carrier. Aside from the whole leave the sleeping baby thing, it's so much easier to have the seat when you're out running errands. Getting a baby, especially when they are tiny, into a carrier by yourself can be a time consuming task in itself. And carrying the actual baby around a store gets heavy, and you can't put them down anywhere. If you put them in a stroller, you can't push a cart too. I guess it just depends on your lifestyle and preferences. If you don't get a carrier and end up deciding you'd like one, you're still going to need that convertible seat eventually anyway, so it's not like you'd waste more money finding out after baby comes that you want a carrier

kristynmac · July 2016

I think that this also depends on where you live. For me, we are in and out of the car a lot and after October the weather isn't very nice so its better to have the infant seat that the baby can stay covered in and not taken in and out of the seat when it is nasty out. If we lived somewhere nicer or where I could easily use a stroller or carrier for running errands than I think we would have gone with a convertible.

Sekerambo · July 2016

There is no way I could get the amount of groceries I normally do with an infant car seat in my cart. I definitely prefer to babywear and have a free cart than push two carts around the store. I live in WI and still prefer not carrying a car seat around, even in the cold. It's definitely a personal preference.

rubredvelvet · July 2016

Perfect! Thank you both, this is exactly the type of blog/site that I was looking for!!

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