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June 2016 Moms
kayla2536
member
How many is too many/ Baby Shower questions
kayla2536
member
I'm getting a guest list together for invitations for the baby shower my best friend is hosting for me.
So far I have 91 people. Sounds ridiculous, I know! My husband has a huge family and is a little over 1/3 of the list and they all live fairly close so we see them regularly. We are also inviting men and women (we did a Jack & Jill Wedding party too instead of a Bridal Shower) so that automatically about doubles the list. I'm also a martial arts instructor and close with my co-workers and a handful of students which adds another 23 people (these are all people I talk to regularly and they are all extremely excited about me being pregnant).
I know there are some who won't be able to make it, so I'm definitely not anticipating all 90-something people to show up, especially men but it just seems like SO many people. I don't want people thinking I'm being greedy or anything because that's really not it! I'm trying to cut it down but I know if we don't invite certain people they'll be upset, even if we don't talk to them too often.
Edit:
This doesn't include kids. What is "etiquette" or "normal?" Kids or no kids at a baby shower? I prefer no kids but DH's family is fulll of them, so I don't think it's really an option.
So far I have 91 people. Sounds ridiculous, I know! My husband has a huge family and is a little over 1/3 of the list and they all live fairly close so we see them regularly. We are also inviting men and women (we did a Jack & Jill Wedding party too instead of a Bridal Shower) so that automatically about doubles the list. I'm also a martial arts instructor and close with my co-workers and a handful of students which adds another 23 people (these are all people I talk to regularly and they are all extremely excited about me being pregnant).
I know there are some who won't be able to make it, so I'm definitely not anticipating all 90-something people to show up, especially men but it just seems like SO many people. I don't want people thinking I'm being greedy or anything because that's really not it! I'm trying to cut it down but I know if we don't invite certain people they'll be upset, even if we don't talk to them too often.
Edit:
This doesn't include kids. What is "etiquette" or "normal?" Kids or no kids at a baby shower? I prefer no kids but DH's family is fulll of them, so I don't think it's really an option.
Re: How many is too many/ Baby Shower questions
Spelling edit
Thanks ladies, I don't feel quite as obnoxious or mom-zilla-ish about the list now.
I feel this. We tried to have a small wedding, but just between H's and my parents/siblings/nieces and nephews the "smallest" we could manage was like 40. That didn't include my extended family which I am very close to. Big families, ftw.
If your hostess/parents are fine with hosting that amount of people go for it. I'm sure my shower will be well over 50 (only women) and that's cutting a nice chunk of people from the list. And I definitely agree, I wouldn't open presents in front of everybody. Do it at home and then send out Thank You cards ASAP.
My side of the family is small but I LOVE having a huge family on DH's side.
BUT this is not including kids. I prefer no kids, just less stress and I figure they'd get bored anyway. However, it's not stated on the invitation (it could be changed, though. What do you think, kids or no kids?
Have multiple showers for different groups. Let your BFF host the friend shower. It's fun. And, it gives you the chance to actually have face time with people. For example, I had 4 showers, friends, my mom's family, my dad's family and DH's family.
ETA: A good judge of how many is "too many" is how many presents do you think you can realistically open in front of people without completely losing your audience because of the time it takes to get through that many.
Also, I hope by pot luck you don't mean asking the guest to bring food along with a gift, to me that's in really bad taste. If your host can't afford the shower without doing potluck, then you need to cut down your guest list, not ask the guest to bring their own food so you can invite more people.
I really will not have time to do multiple showers due to my schedule.
I personally think that, even though you've kept your friend in the loop as far as guest list, and perhaps she's ok with it, I think it's taking it too far to ask her to plan for almost 100 people, even with help from your mom and mil. A party that is essentially centered around giving gifts should be a little more graceful, I feel. I think people enjoy watching you open gifts when it's a modest party and they'll like to see your reaction and will care deeply about sharing this moment with you. That's hard to do when they likely won't get any actual one on one time with you. I think if it's a couples, 100 person guest list, large venue type of party it would be classier to just have it be a "we're excited for our baby" party and not a shower with gifts.
If you don't have time to have multiple showers then your guest list, to me, has to come down A LOT, to close family and friends, no more. Even if your host is okay with the numbers, it just isn't fair to the guests to show up to a shower that has as many guests as my entire wedding did, you lose the shower feel once you hit much more than 30 people.
Still is a lot but literally it would be (including kids) 40-45 with just DHs family. We all live close and they love getting together for family events.
Birthdays and holidays are always like 50+ people, it's crazy but I love it especially since the youngest in my family is 15! And my family is 1/5 the size haha.
Thanks for the advice, it required me to give more thought and consideration!
People keep asking to bring them and if we can ''make an exception" but i dont know why anyone thinks their specific child is more important than anyone else's specific child. We have a room that fits 70. I invited 75 adults. Got a few Nos already. If i invited kids I would need to add 16 more spots. I could probably get it down a little, but no less than about 8-10. It just isn't possible for us and its kind of bothersome how many people are asking. Especially since almost every single person has whose asked if their daughter could come, cited the reason as 'i have no one to watch them' while never mentioning anything about where their other male children will be going. Somehow i just don't totally buy that people have a place for their boys and not their girls especially when the husbands are also going to be home, on top of all the other male relatives in the family. So its been bothering me extra because it seems like people are using slightly false excuses. Someone even said that their girls ''go to all of the family's showers'' when i know for a fact that's not true because they weren't at the last family shower, but the same moms asking arrived childless. ..and there hasn't been another one in many years.
So i guess my answer is, Make a decision and stick with it. Can you fit them? Do you want them? If both answers are No, then the answer is No. I made an exception for ONE child, which is my niece. The others are all cousins/friends kids, etc. Again, if i said yes to one cousins child, we would end up with an additional 16 kids.