Is anyone else sad?

mjpatzwa · February 2016

Hi ladies,

This post might seem weird, but I'm genuinely trying to figure out if the way I feel is normal. I was super excited to get pregnant and it's something we did on purpose, but for the past two weeks I have felt so ambivalent and sad. And, I feel like I am always trying to put on a happy face...and it's extremely difficult. I have nausea all day long and I'm always tired, and I have no energy. I find that whatever time I'm not working, I would just rather be laying in bed. And I cry. Sometimes I feel trapped and angry that this is how I feel. I read about it online and everyone says it's just the hormones and you'll be fine, but I read it and think that my feelings are being marginalized. And last night during all those stupid super bowl baby commercials I just started getting angry...like I'm mad that I feel lied to....like this was supposed to be such a happy time and I hate it.

Is anyone else feeling this way? I really hope I'm not alone. I'm only 7.5 weeks pregnant.

steminist · February 2016

I'm sorry you feel like you can't find supportive references. I've been feeling kind of all over the place lately - some days I feel really excited, others I'm drained and then feel sad that I can do any of my normal daily stuff with DH and friends. As much as it might not make you feel better, I am also under the impression that hyperactive hormones are making us feel this way. That doesn't make it feel better, but it gives me hope that once things start to level off in the 2nd tri and beyond, I'll feel happier and more "pregnant". Don't forget, all the smiling, joyful moms we see in magazines and ads are all clearly showing (or equally likely, not actually pregnant!). If you feel like your emotional state is more than a normal moodiness brought on by your changing body, make sure you talk to your OB. If it's something more serious, she can recommend people to talk to or other ways to manage your feelings. Post-partum depression is not well discussed, but I think depression DURING pregnancy is even more ignored. I hope your pregnancy starts to feel happier soon!

Ah825 · February 2016

I always feel miserable bc of my nausea. I think it's very hard to be cheery and happY all the time (especially at work!!) when no one knows how miserable you feel, you feel miserable, and you can't have caffeine!!! I think we will feel better when we are in the second trimester. I hope! Hugs

RedMar · February 2016

Hang in there momma! I have been going to a counselor for a few years and have been seeing her lately on a regular basis. My insurance covers it and it's so nice to talk to another woman who has been through balancing marriage, pregnancy, babies and a career. I hope you find peace in the second trimester, but know there is help out there if you need it!

camichael84 · February 2016

I agree with @Jabreen and think this is something you should mention to your OB. Prepartum depression exisits, but isn't commonly discussed. What you're feeling may be just hormones and the miserable feeling if first tri (first tri seriously, seriously sucks), but your OB is going to be best at judging what is normal hormones and what is something more.

trtl3catcher · February 2016

I have felt that way as well. Sometimes I just get sad and cry. Most of the day I feel like ... Blah... Super quesy yet hungry.. Uncomfortably bloated .. And just either sad or alouf. I'm hoping it eventually balanced out as well. I'm a big believer in needed to just feel how I feel. Don't worry. We will all get through this together.

KarenBeth714 · February 2016

Absolutely, I feel the same way. I just posted to someone that mentioned this on the first tri board. ALl the things you mentioned.. feeling miserable from being sick all the time.. ( I even bruised my ribs gagging and couching, which put me in quite some pain for a week) and then having no energy is really really getting to me. I'm not feeling like myself at all.. all I wanna do is nap on the couch. And just the fact that you feel like you need to pretend to be happy and feeling guilty that I'm not- it's all so confusing. To top it all off, this Winter weather is no help...I'm going to make a plan to talk to someone soon, like, a therapist. But someone recently said that a social worker recommended by ob may be helpful as well. Feel better, and I hope you find the support you need and that it passes soon.

StrappinArrow · February 2016

I was that way my first pregnancy

SLou24 · February 2016

I think we're so bombarded with how we're supposed to feel, that we forget that this is such a hormonal time in our lives and literally anything goes. I personally go up and down-- some days I'm super happy, some days I actually feel quite apathetic towards everything, especially at work, and that is not like me. I would definitely suggest seeing someone to talk about this if it feels overwhelming for you, I hope that your second tri goes better and that you are able to find some good with the bad!

homebird · February 2016

I remember feeling like this after my first pregnancy. There is such a think as peri-natal depression, and it sounds like you may have a bit of it.

We have all these ideas growing up that pregnancy and having babies is wonderful and happy and beautiful. Honestly ... it really sucks sometimes. ESPECIALLY in the first trimester which (in my personal experience) is effing miserable.

It's perfectly normal to feel sad, angry, terrible, etc. If you feel it's a big problem though, I would highly suggest talk therapy. I know a lot of people are scared by the word "therapy", but I have gotten nothing but good things out of it. It's nice to talk to someone who can give you unbiased opinions and help you see things in a more realistic way. Sometimes we can't get out of our own heads, you know?

And if it's really bad, medicine is always an option.

Hang in there!

mom2adoodle · February 2016

I'm so sorry you're going through this!! It can definitely happen and DOES happen even if it's not talked about. I definitely recommend seeking therapy and talking to your OB about it. This group of ladies has been very supportive for me so I hope you find some solace in this group too

Good luck. You're not alone.

TheTamedShrew · February 2016

I have been feeling the exact same way, except this is my second go around so I'm not getting angry about it because I know it will pass. I even texted my husband last week and told him I was getting really depressed because I just don't feel like myself when I am this tired and sick and miserable for weeks on end. Just take it one day at a time, rest when you need to, and don't be hard on yourself. It's partly hormones, partly general 1st trimester misery, and partly because winter weather is depressing. And you know what? My nausea started to lift this week, and subsequently so did my mood. Hang in there and keep reminding yourself that it will get better. Very few people are glowing and peppy during the first trimester. Give it time and don't worry about how you are supposed to feel. It's okay to feel sad and bummed out when you feel like crap all the time. Not to sound like a Hallmark card, but in the long run, the challenges we face during pregnancy and the newborn phase will seem minuscule compared to the joy and love that comes with them. Just wait and see.

0SeaMonkey0 · February 2016

I feel the exact same way, and I did with my last pregnancy too. Not only do I feel terrible physically, I am sad, unmotivated and no longer excited about my pregnancy. The only reason it is easier to deal with this time is because I know it won't last forever! By last time I was feeling like myself again by 14-16 weeks and this time I can already feel things improving at 10 weeks.

Last time it really got me worried because I thought, how could I ever be a good Mom if I don't even care enough to put food on the table and keep the house respectable? But everything changes when you get out of the first trimester funk, and everything changes again when your baby arrives! You'll find energy you never knew you had!!!

My experience last time was that my low motivation and mood in the first trimester didn't translate into any type of mood problems post-partum, but of course that is something to be aware of.

PSUBecky23 · February 2016

These feelings are totally normal, especially during the hell hole that can be first tri. Definitely speak to your OB. I hope you're able to get some relief.

ElcaB · February 2016

I promise, it gets better. I know hormones seem like kind of a excuse, but seriously girl, your body is growing a human! Right now your bod is going through an insane amount of changes, so expect to not feel quite like yourself. Plus, no matter how happy you are to be pregnant, it's hard to put on a happy face when you feel like death.

You might want to consider talking to a therapist. I would let your doctor know how you're feeling and see what he/she says. I'm sure it's completely normal, but if there's something you can do to help it (ie, counseling) then you should definitely pursue it.

Sending happy thoughts & good vibes your way!

AshleySparkle720 · February 2016

I felt this way for my whole first trimester with my daughter. I wanted to be in bed with the lights off and just cry or sleep. It absolutely got better especially after my morning/noon/night sickness ended. Hang in there it'll get better!

Knottie1441289936 · February 2016

@mjpatzwa"I read it and think that my feelings are being marginalized." I know how you feel when you talk about feeling trapped or like your feelings are being marginalized since it's not how you're "supposed" to feel. While I'm happy about this 1st time pregnancy, I'm also angry and frustrated at times. Frustrated that there are all these "rules" imposed on pregnant women -- we just have to suck it up and deal with it physically, emotionally, and it's "normal" and expected to be a certain way. Then, you read things basically saying, "if a miscarriage is going to happen, it's gonna happen and there's more than likely nothing you could've done to stop it," so it's like WTH, then why crucify me for having a glass of wine over a long dinner?! I know that sounds irresponsible, but I'm sorry, it's how I feel -- maybe you feel that way, too...

You're certainly not alone. Ride with the emotions -- it's OK to not be 100% super excited and peachy. I'm personally being a bit of a social recluse, because every time I get around a group of people who know, they're all smiling and tee hee, when I'm miserably nauseous or tired or overwhelmed. There is a difference between feeling this way and depression, though. Listening to your body (or mind, in this case) helps, and giving permission to be angry or sad will provide at least SOME small immediate relief.

(8w1d)

crystalraebryant · February 2016

Prenatal depression (and a few other of its labels) is definitely not something to be ignored. It's one of the first things I talked with my OB about. I have a personal history of depression, my family has a history of depression, and I've already felt myself dipping that way. I brought it up early not because I want to go on meds with it (I've been able to avoid them so far and manage depression with diet, vitamins and exercise and I'm super lucky in that) but so that if it does get to that point, I've already started the conversation. It's harder for me to start talking about it in the midst of it.

Fingers crossed it ends up being just hormones for you, but there's nothing wrong with you if its not.

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