I wish time was going faster

Boots&Co · February 2016

I sometimes get so hung up in the waiting. Waiting for my next cycle to have the green light. Waiting to ovulate. Waiting to see if I have any early symptoms. Waiting to see if I miss AF. Waiting to see if everything is okay. I used to wish time would stand still for us. Now I'm just wanting to fastforward the next month and see where I am. Can anyone relate?

AL_TwinCities · February 2016

Absolutely. I miscarried Jan 16 and think I may have O'd two days ago based on temps. So that's one less thing to wait for I guess. But now it's waiting for AF, waiting for our infertility consult appointment on Feb 18, waiting to start testing, waiting to O, the TWW, etc. Last time it took us 15 months to conceive, so I am really trying to focus on other things this time so I don't spend another year + waiting...

RiverSong15 · February 2016

Yep, TTC feels like a long journey of "hurry up and then wait". And then I feel guilty for wanting to rush time along, because I really should be enjoying the present.

chloe97 · February 2016

All of this ^. I'm trying hard to look forward to real life things going on in the present. When your day starts out with taking your temp and plotting it in a fertility app, it's sometimes hard to not let the TTC stuff occupy your brain all day. I'm trying to get caught up in other things, so time doesn't feel so slow. But in other ways, it feels so fast like my childbearing years are going to be done sooner than I can finish my family.

catiecatp · February 2016

100x yes!

BornReady · February 2016

Definitely with you! I've been told a million times to "never wish time away", but I feel like it's so hard. In the 12+ months TTCing number one, I feel like I lost a year of my life with worry/sadness etc. I was so happy when I got pregnant this time fairly easily, grateful that I didn't have to go down that rabbit hole again...well the universe strikes again and here I am.

Like others have mentioned I'm trying really hard to stay present. I have a bad habit of fast-forwarding things, "I'll be this old when I give birth if I'm pregnant this cycle" etc. Before I know it I've moved up in my life by months! I actually gave the wrong age when someone asked me today, I've focused so much on how old I'll be "when", that I've aged myself a whole year. I'm really working on "keeping it in the day", being grateful for what I have and not giving too much energy to the past (my weakness) or the future.

DinosaurJumper · February 2016

I agree with all the pp! It is so difficult to stay grounded and in the moment when TTC. And when it takes a long time due to roadblocks such as we all have experienced, it's easy to wish your whole life away waiting for af or wto. My depression with unsuccessfully TTC last year kept me laying in bed all day when I got af. I've tried to focus on other things like taking care of my furbabies and trying to further my career. I read on another post of a lady who planned her tattoos around her cycle so that way if she didn't get pregnant, she still had something to look forward to. I think we all need to find something like that for ourselves

mylittleversailles · February 2016

I feel this sentiment so hard. I'm so anxious to start feeling physically better, even though I understand the emotional part is long term.

Both my husband and I are trying to focus on some other positive things. We joined our neighbourhood association and have volunteered my photography skills + his coding skills to hopefully help out. We're also planning out a garden from seed for our giant second floor deck and have been rearranging and sprucing up our apartment. Nothing huge, but focusing on some other small goals, which have nothing to with ttc, has been a relief. None of that means I don't wish for time to go faster, so I can see what comes next, though.

DinosaurJumper · February 2016

@reneeannemm Gardening is an excellent hobby to keep grounded! I am the head grower for a little nursery and get freebies all the time

spending time outside and watching the fruits of your labor grow is a good way to feel connected to the present

Good Luck on your garden this growing season!

LaurenAsh23 · February 2016

Yes!! Right now I'm just waiting to have sex! I had to have a d&c Friday (2 weeks post delivery) because my placenta was still hanging on. Luckily in 4 weeks we will have any answers from pathology and I will do my genetic blood work then too.

mylittleversailles · February 2016

@DinosaurJumper Oh, I hope so. I've only very recently been able to keep houseplants alive, but we did take a class taught by a graduate student at McGill University on planting from seed and think we'll be able to at least grow one or two things. I love to preserve things so it's kind of a two-for-one deal as far as I'm concerned. Strawberry jam for everyone!

dpjennifer · February 2016

@reneeannemm Good Luck with the garden and planting! I love my garden and canning and whatnot. Feel free to message me if you run into any problems, depending on what you're growing I may be able to help!

penelope4612 · February 2016

Yup. Waited until the timing was "right" to start TTC. Then got pregnant and started bleeding a week later. Waited through multiple blood tests and ultrasounds to be dx with an ectopic. Then waited 3 months after getting methotrexate. Then was told I'm hypothyroid and had to wait some more to get my thyroid regulated. Now that's all set and we've decided to TTA this month because we're going to Hawaii and I don't want to find out I'm not pregnant in Hawaii and be disappointed or avoid drinking because I'm in the TWW or get a BFP and then be panicked that I'm having another ectopic and I'm in the middle of the Pacific. We finally get to TTC again in March. So 6 months of waiting, with no guarantee that our next pregnancy (if there even is one) will even be in my uterus. I know a lot of you ladies are in a similar boat and it just sucks. Hugs to all of you.

DinosaurJumper · February 2016

@penelope4612 That is so rough! I'm sorry you've been dealt this hand. I hope you and DH have a great time in Hawaii and get your rainbow baby soon

Kay6519 · February 2016

Yes! I am right there with you. It feels like a lot of hurry up and wait with TTC. Sometimes it's hard to focus on the present. Hopefully we will get our sticky LOs soon!

NamelessAria · February 2016

I'm absolutely right there with you. I feel like I'm in this huge rush to have a baby since my MC. Even more so than before and I already had baby fever, so to speak.

Sometimes I lay awake at night and think "I have a really good life. And 6 years ago if I could have looked into the future and saw the life I have now I would have been so incredibly excited about my future. It really is everything I wanted, before I realized I want children. I hope that I'm not throwing away a happy part of my life being so wrapped up in what I don't have instead of appreciating what I do have." But as much as I wish sometimes that I could press pause on one of the good days where I'm not obsessing over WTO or the TWW or whatever else TTC related and just enjoy my life. There are so, so many other days where I wish I could just fast forward through all the days that are hard. All the days where I'm sad, frustrated, angry, impatient and obsessive.

I never could have anticipated before TTC how much TTC can play with my emotions. This has been, and continues to be, so much harder than I could have imagined.

mylittleversailles · February 2016

@dpjennifer Oh, thank you! I will for sure keep you in mind if (WHEN) we run into problems. I spent all this past autumn obsessively making jam when we started ttc. I had a whole closet full, but people apparently love homemade preserves and we had no trouble clearing most of it out. Just a bunch of bourbon and pear jam left, but I messed that one up and it's a little too thin so it should be used as a syrup instead. All the best with your garden, too.

DinosaurJumper · February 2016

@NamelessAria That's a good thought! It can be so hard to be thankful for what you do have when life keeps throwing you curve balls. I think that is something that I need to do more in my own life. Just stop, look around, and appreciate all that I do have going for me. Life will never be perfect, one has to take the good with bad.

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