Depressed

caliopi11 · February 2016

I am in my 9th week , 1st pregancy and it was planned. I know I should feel very happy , we coneceived at first trial and everything is going perfect so far for the baby , but I feel miserable all the time. It's not just the hormones. I already feel like a shadow of my former happy self. I can't do anything I like anymore or enjoy life like I used to bc all the pregancy related changes and restrictions. I know it's so selfish please don't judge me. I just can't believe I hate being pregnant so much . I have no support system bc I am in a new place and my family is really far ( in a different country). I have nothing to look forward to except maybe being done with pregnancy and having the baby which the thought alone terrifies me. I just want know if anyone else has gone through this and if they had counseling and if that helped or not. I really don't want to hear anymore how it's all worth it in the end etc it really does not help at all. I am just looking for anyone that has gone through similar feelings and has successfully coped with it. Again it's not just the hormones .

stillcozy · February 2016

I highly suggest get involved in your bmb that will be ladies due the same month as you. Also talk to your dr or see a counselor as you said yourself "don't want to hear anymore about how it's all worth it in end etc."

also why are you discounting hormones so much? You realize that they can regulate emotions and affect brain chemistry right and if it's not the case time to buck up. Pregnancy sucks yes you can't drink smoke have as much energy you can be sick but you signed up for this.

I Have days where this just sucks and symptoms make me not want to get out of bed and I miss my friends and being able to do other things but what exactly can't you do exactly? I still work out I still make sure I go out and see friends or treat myself. I remind myself that I want this child and yes to me remembering what I get at the end helps me feel better and stop feeling selfish and sorry for myself because others would kill to be in this position. Hate to break it to you but life is going to be different from here on out once you have this child. So either remain focused on all the things you lost and miss for this 9 month period of your life or focus on the happy and think about the things you get to gain in 9 months

and if that isn't enough then you need to seek help outside of Internet strangers

Bigboobsmcgee · February 2016

caliopi11 said:

I am in my 9th week , 1st pregancy and it was planned. I know I should feel very happy , we coneceived at first trial and everything is going perfect so far for the baby , but I feel miserable all the time. It's not just the hormones. I already feel like a shadow of my former happy self. I can't do anything I like anymore or enjoy life like I used to bc all the pregancy related changes and restrictions. I know it's so selfish please don't judge me. I just can't believe I hate being pregnant so much . I have no support system bc I am in a new place and my family is really far ( in a different country). I have nothing to look forward to except maybe being done with pregnancy and having the baby which the thought alone terrifies me. I just want know if anyone else has gone through this and if they had counseling and if that helped or not. I really don't want to hear anymore how it's all worth it in the end etc it really does not help at all. I am just looking for anyone that has gone through similar feelings and has successfully coped with it. Again it's not just the hormones .

What does this mean? What things can't you do anymore that you are really missing? I'm thinking that this bolded statement is the real reason behind your down mood.

Yes it's normal to feel a little out of sorts and yes it takes time to get used to being pregnant but if you are that far down in the dumps then go see someone. It might get way worse after the baby is here because that's when hormones get really crazy.

PinkLady2015 · February 2016

I too am curious about what things you can no longer do? Besides not drinking, I haven't changed a thing...

taysun · February 2016

Aside from not drinking or smoking, there really isn't too much you HAVE to give up. There are obviously recommendations but you don't have to give up a cup of coffee or sandwich meat etc.
Pregnancy isn't always fun and it's okay to not enjoy it. However I don't know why you're convinced it's no hormones. At 9 weeks in its a little early I think to decide you hate being pregnant.
Consider talking to someone or going out and meeting people in your new location and start building a support system.

In in any case hopefully you move past this.

megstervt · February 2016

I don't like being pregnant either. It's not glowing and rainbows like I thought. BUT not enjoying something does not mean I'm depressed (I say this having experiences clinical depression in the past). Talk with your doctor and get some support. Whether your depressed or unhappy you need to make some changes.

wphillips0211 · February 2016

I relate and was talking to my husband about it tonight. I'm not excited yet, just sad about missing out on some things and terrified of what my body will go through.

mrsbrookeh · February 2016

I totally understand. Definitely talk to someone. I was at a really good place dealing with my depression before getting pregnant (planned) and the hormones and just generally not feeling well have thrown everything off. I would talk to someone and maybe bring your husband so he knows signs of what to watch out for should it get worse. Also, try to find activities that you can do that you enjoy or take up new activities like swimming or a weekly dinner with friends.

wildtot · February 2016

Does your SO provide any support? Definitely talk to a friend or family member or at least your doctor. I talk to friends and DH but there are times I just need to cry it out.

I'm FTM and I can honestly say I hate being pregnant. I love my son but it's been a rough one (almost 29 weeks). Looks like 2 out of 3 trimesters I will spend as bedrest. I would trade this with for the ms I never got.

Hang in there, talk to someone and I wish you the best! Hopefully second tri will be better:)

If you think of it as a disability due to food limitations and body changes your only making it worse for yourself. Pregnancy should not be a disability unless you have a real medical reason.

paytonpedro · February 2016

Pregnancy is different for everyone. It doesn't sound like actual pregnancy symptoms are what is getting you down, and at 9 weeks, pregnancy was a piece of cake for me! My pregnancy was also planned and it took almost a year to see a bfp. Let me speak bluntly, I'm 38 weeks pregnant. You want to talk about miserable, and not being able to do anything you used to do? I have trouble wiping after I go to the bathroom, I can't put my own shoes on, I can't breathe after climbing 1 flight of stairs. Enjoy being 9 weeks! Enjoy the second trimester! You are growing a life that you wanted! Cherish it, as there are so many women who are not as lucky as you are! I loved being pregnant until the 3rd trimester, for me that's when things really got hard and life really changed!
I would suggest finding a moms group in your area so you can make some friends and develope a new support system. Also, don't be afraid to talk to someone professional about how you're feeling. Everyone reacts to pregnancy differently, and everyone has different needs. Also, you have baby kicks to look forward to! They're so cool! And a growing belly, feeling baby have hiccups, and finally holding that sweet baby in your arms! You can do it! Keep your head high!

malinoismom · February 2016

OMG, me too! I am 7 weeks pregnant and am miserable. Everything makes me cry, I can't stand my SO at the moment. I've actually been avoiding him for 2 weeks and he's really trying to be nice and supportive, but all of it is just so annoying to me! This was a planned pregnancy and we were already ring shopping. In recent weeks I decided I no longer want to marry him (I'm divorced), just have the baby with him. I am exhausted, I hate how bloated I am, and can't imagine what I'm going to look and feel like further down the road. I'm terrified and actually started having doubts if I can handle this. I dream about telling my SO to go away until the baby is born. This all sounds horrible, but after reading your post, I think I am also depressed, but don't know why because I have been wanting a baby for the last four years.

stillcozy · February 2016

malinoisgal said:

OMG, me too! I am 7 weeks pregnant and am miserable. Everything makes me cry, I can't stand my SO at the moment. I've actually been avoiding him for 2 weeks and he's really trying to be nice and supportive, but all of it is just so annoying to me! This was a planned pregnancy and we were already ring shopping. In recent weeks I decided I no longer want to marry him (I'm divorced), just have the baby with him. I am exhausted, I hate how bloated I am, and can't imagine what I'm going to look and feel like further down the road. I'm terrified and actually started having doubts if I can handle this. I dream about telling my SO to go away until the baby is born. This all sounds horrible, but after reading your post, I think I am also depressed, but don't know why because I have been wanting a baby for the last four years.

Qfp

please seek help ASAP! I'd suggest both from your OB and a counselor

malinoismom · February 2016

Thanks, I was going to tough it out until my appointment on 2/17, but I guess it doesn't hurt to call now.

austinjl · February 2016

I feel ya! Pregnancy has been a LOT more difficult than I anticipated. I did read up on it and felt I was prepared but it turns out, reading about it and actually experiencing it are two different things. I would encourage you to reach out to others for support and talk to your doc. From my experience, pregnancy is different every day so some days are better than others. I'm doing a lot better at 18 weeks than I was at 9 weeks. Hopefully things will get better for you soon!

mandasd · February 2016

Go to counseling - they will give you the tools you need to get through this journey in a more positive way.

KarenBeth714 · February 2016

I absolutely understand... I've been feeling the same way. Normally in winter I would be skiing, doing bikram yoga and going to concerts which are very smokey, traveling, happy hours. So now I'm doing none of those things and have been sick so not feeling like even going to regular yoga. With hormones and all its been a big change and a hard adjustment for me. I did have a therapist I went to while ttc to prepare for all the big changes and I plan to go back soon. Hopefully this will pass... With being sick for weeks I just haven't felt like myself. Don't want to cook and have no energy for work either. Talking to good friends about what I have been going through has also been helpful, as well as sharing jn these boards. Come join in on your birth month group and star at looking into someone to talk to - it really does help!

PrimRoseMama · February 2016

caliopi11 said:

I am in my 9th week , 1st pregancy and it was planned. I know I should feel very happy , we coneceived at first trial and everything is going perfect so far for the baby , but I feel miserable all the time. It's not just the hormones. I already feel like a shadow of my former happy self. I can't do anything I like anymore or enjoy life like I used to bc all the pregancy related changes and restrictions. I know it's so selfish please don't judge me. I just can't believe I hate being pregnant so much . I have no support system bc I am in a new place and my family is really far ( in a different country). I have nothing to look forward to except maybe being done with pregnancy and having the baby which the thought alone terrifies me. I just want know if anyone else has gone through this and if they had counseling and if that helped or not. I really don't want to hear anymore how it's all worth it in the end etc it really does not help at all. I am just looking for anyone that has gone through similar feelings and has successfully coped with it. Again it's not just the hormones .

Please talk to your doctor. You sound like you could benefit from therapy for prenatal depression. Nothing to be ashamed of, but treatment could give you new lease on life. Hang in there. You aren't alone. I don't feel this way, but I know many moms in my FB local group that have confessed to the same feelings. Its never a bad idea to reach out for help. We can tell you that you are still a good mother and you still love your baby. You do, but you need a little extra help coping with the life change. Please talk to your OB. They won't judge you and they will help you get the help you need.

(((hugs)))

llbne · February 2016

I agree with @PrimRoseMama, this sounds like something you should reach out to a medical professional about. If you're not sure where to go, just speak to your normal medical provider at your next appointment and mention you are finding your anxiety about the pregnancy overwhelming.

I am surprised at the responses you received here. It seems clear you are not being simply selfish or ungrateful but a dealing with a challenging situation regarding your mental health. It is brave of you to reach out here.

Look after yourself - I hope things get easier for you.

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