TW loss mentioned & tmi Irregular spotting/trying to get back on track

cjs260 · December 2015

Okay, so my miscarriage experience seems to be pretty atypical (if there is such a thing as a typical mc). I'm going to be posting my full experience under the MC after Cytotec board in the hopes that anyone else that has had a similar experience may find comfort they aren't alone. Long story (kinda) short, I found out about my BO on Nov. 10th at my first prenatal appointment and was given Cytotec to pass everything. I had to go back to the dr the next day to get a Rhogam shot since my blood type is A-. I told my dr about my experience and she said it sounded like everything worked the way it should have and to come back next week for my follow up ultrasound. Nov 17th I had said u/s and it showed minimal blood pooling but nothing to make her believe I still had any tissue remaining, so dr. said to take another dose of Cytotec just to speed up the passing of the rest of the blood. After that, I had some light spotting, but a few days before Thanksgiving, I had all but stopped, with a spot on tp after wiping here and there. Then on Nov 29th while driving back home from thanksgiving, I had an absolute blow out and the following days the bleeding was heavier, about like a normal AF. Then it slowed to spotting again. With my final week of the semester, my mind was busy elsewhere but after it was over it clicked that I had been bleeding pretty much for 5 weeks straight. I went back to my dr. for another u/s which showed a healthy uterine lining, nothing in the uterus. My cervix was closed but I did have a slight case of bacterial vaginosis. The dr. concluded that the thanksgiving episode was my first AF and the spotting could be caused by the infection. Everything pretty much stopped again by Dec 19th. Then on the 22nd and 23rd I started spotting again, with a full on flow by the 24th with cramps and all.

So my big concern is, that this HAS to be my AF, right? I've been OPK-ing with a LH surge at the right time, and with my 25 day cycle, the timing is perfect for AF. Also, it's weird to have a positive OPK while spotting is going on, right? Additionally, I started temping on the 25th and my temps (97.07 and 97.17) seem to be in the range for what temps should be during AF. Unfortunately, I didn't temp before the MC, so of course I don't have anything to compare it to.

If you've made it this far, that's for sticking it out through this long posting. All in all I guess I'm curious if anyone had a similar experience or any advice.

FireInWonderland · December 2015

First, I'm very sorry for your loss, and that you're here, but welcome to the board. Here's hoping your stay is short and you find the ladies here supportive!

Second, if the timing is all right and your doctor says its your AF, then you should stop worrying. It won't help your TTC process. It is possible to spot while you're ovulating and it could happen for any number of reasons - are you confirming O with temps or just OPKs? Because you can also have an LH surge and NOT be ovulating.

Third, I wish you the best of luck in your TTC journey and recommend talking with your doc again. Ultimately that's where you'll get answers for very specific problems like the one you've described, and hopefully it's nothing. FX for you!

RiverSong15 · December 2015

I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with @FireInWonderland to trust your doctor. Also, if you're not tracking temps consistently, starting to chart would probably help you figure out your cycles. FWIW, my doctor told me that most women get their first period after a MC in 4-6 weeks. She also said that some women have cycles that go right back to normal, while others have really wonky cycles for a while. If you're concerned though, you could give your doc another call.

cjs260 · December 2015

Thanks so much for your response. And no, anxiety over this is certainly not helping anything. I just started temping, so I haven't had O confirmed and I feel like the LH surge was just that, without an O.

Since I've seen my dr 3x post MC, I called and spoke with the help line. Dr called me back shortly with a prescription for progesterone to take for 10 days. This should trick my body into thinking that it's near the end of a cycle. I'll have a period once the meds are finished and my cycle should resume normally at that point. If this doesn't work, I'll have to take BCP for a couple of months to regulate my cycle. She also said I could wait a couple of days to see if this bleeding stops with no continuous spotting afterwards which (along with temping) would indicate my cylce returning to normal on its own. I've been going between heavy bleeding and spotting for 7 weeks now with only about 6-8 days total with nothing going on down there. At this point, I think I just want to proceed with the progesterone to just get it all over with and be able to know that my cycle should be back to normal.

I feel like I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm not pregnant, but every time I go to the bathroom is a vivid reminder of that. I feel like I'm stuck, and I can't move forward.

RiverSong15 · December 2015

cjs260 said:
Thanks so much for your response. And no, anxiety over this is certainly not helping anything. I just started temping, so I haven't had O confirmed and I feel like the LH surge was just that, without an O.

Since I've seen my dr 3x post MC, I called and spoke with the help line. Dr called me back shortly with a prescription for progesterone to take for 10 days. This should trick my body into thinking that it's near the end of a cycle. I'll have a period once the meds are finished and my cycle should resume normally at that point. If this doesn't work, I'll have to take BCP for a couple of months to regulate my cycle. She also said I could wait a couple of days to see if this bleeding stops with no continuous spotting afterwards which (along with temping) would indicate my cylce returning to normal on its own. I've been going between heavy bleeding and spotting for 7 weeks now with only about 6-8 days total with nothing going on down there. At this point, I think I just want to proceed with the progesterone to just get it all over with and be able to know that my cycle should be back to normal.

I feel like I've finally come to terms with the fact that I'm not pregnant, but every time I go to the bathroom is a vivid reminder of that. I feel like I'm stuck, and I can't move forward.

I'm so sorry you feel stuck, but I'm happy to hear you have a plan with your doctor. I certainly understand feeling reminded of the MC every time you go to the bathroom - I feel sad about that too. Hopefully th progesterone works, and you can begin moving forward again!

cjs260 · December 2015

@RiverSong15 I'm so sorry you're sad too. It's a hard time of year to be sad. And it seems that emotions can fluctuate so unpredictably it's crazy. Thanks for the support! FX we all have a much happier 2016.

FireInWonderland · December 2015

@cjs260 I'm on the same page as @RiverSong15. It's great that you and your doctor have a solid plan. Temping will really help you when you're sorting out your cycle, and hopefully it all fixes itself sooner rather than later.

I have gotten to a really healthy place - AF doesn't remind me of my MC anymore. But I'm so sorry you're feeling that way, I remember that feeling and it's horrible. I hope soon you move to a place where seeing AF isn't a twist to the proverbial knife. In the meantime, just focus on moving forward and try to stay positive. Best of luck and keep us posted about your cycle! And if you need a rant, we are here for you!

cjs260 · December 2015

Thanks so much @FireInWonderland! I'm thankful that even though I'm in a big practice of OBs, it seems that they are well attentive to their patients. I'm so glad for where you are in your emotional recovery and appreciate your sharing it with me. It gives me hope that I'll be there soon!

FireInWonderland · December 2015

@cjs260 of course! And Happy New Year (early), I hope it brings you a beautiful and healthy baby!!!

cjs260 · December 2015

@FireInWonderland And the same to you!! FX for us all

cjs260 · January 2016

Just to add an update to this post - I had a full swing AF from Dec 24th to Jan 1st. Very light spotting on Jan 2nd and nothing from then until Jan 4th. Last night I noticed a bit of brown on the TP, but didn't worry about it. Woke up to bright pink spotting again today (Jan 6th). I'll be starting progesterone tonight for 10 days to trick my cycle back into correctness, supposedly.

I'm feeling pretty hopeless at this point. It's taken everything I had to hold it together until I quit bleeding, then my body betrays me yet again. It's like every time I see the light at the end of the tunnel I get hit by a train. I don't think I have the mental strength left to hold it together anymore, but I know I don't have the time to fall apart. I think we're going to put a hold on TTC for a while now. I can't continue to get my hopes up only for them to repeatedly come crashing down.

megsbrock · January 2016

I can hear the sadness in your words, and send big hugs your way. I would be completely frustrated as well. As if losing the pregnancy wasn't enough, the punishment continues. If putting TTC on hold gives you back a little sanity, then that's what you need to do. Maybe today you don't want to continue TTC, but tomorrow you might feel a bit better and decide you have the strength to keep it going; I'd say allow yourself the freedom to take it day by day, because clearly your body is not going to let you plan anything (which is annoying beyond words, I know).

That said...I think you mentioned your cycles being about 25 days. Since this is on the shorter end of things, maybe the spotting of yesterday and today is due to ovulation?

xx

cjs260 · January 2016

@megsbrock Thank you for the kind words and hugs. I'm going to follow your advice on the day by day thing - I'm sure that once this progesterone treatment is over I'll feel up to TTC again. But today I'm allowing myself to wallow in self-pity, haha! (I typically do not allow myself to do that, but I'm making an exception for the rest of the evening).

I desperately wish this was spotting with ovulation, but I really doubt it. No EWCM, all negative OPKs, and I'm starting to cramp. The MO of my body after this whole ordeal has obviously been to just get my hopes up and as soon as I feel like everything is back to normal, shoot me down. If this hadn't been the third time this has happened I might think that it could be, but I think it's time to nip it in the bud with the meds. I've been dealing with this on-again/off-again spotting for longer than the pregnancy itself now. Here's to hoping this finally gets me back on track!

RiverSong15 · January 2016

Hugs @cjs260. I'm so sorry you're going through extended physical symptoms and feeling down. Just know that lots of women have taken progesterone to successfully kickstart their cycles, so there's a good chance this will work for you. In the meantime, if taking things day by doesn't work, don't be afraid to take them hour by hour. And we're here for you if you need to vent. Be kind to yourself!

cjs260 · January 2016

Thanks @RiverSong15. I know that I'll feel better after a good long nights rest

Also, Buzzfeed posted an article I thought was appropriate for me. It made me laugh so I'll leave it here.

cjt121413 · January 2016

I don't have much advice, just wanted to say I'm so sorry you're going through this, and you're not alone! Your story sounds a lot like mine. We found out about MMC in mid November, I took Cytotec (three times before it worked), and then I bled for about 5-6 weeks very heavily. Then it slowed to spotting for a week-ish, and today I'm bleeding again. It's terrible. I've also had a UTI in the process and a visit to the ER for excessive bleeding. I'm so sorry you're going through the same thing.

I'm excited to get back to TTC but it's becoming clear my body is all sorts of messed up right now and who knows when I'm going to have a normal ovulatory cycle. It doesn't help that I'll be 33 in May so I feel like time is ticking.

Creepy internet hugs.

cjs260 · January 2016

@cjt121413 You really don't know the comfort you brought me posting here. I have searched and searched and our scenario is just not one that comes up much. Thank you.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, too. It's been absolutely awful for my moral, and I hate knowing that someone else is struggling in the same way. It looks like you found out two days after I did - I'm so sad for both of us. I wonder if we're part of that little foot note of the misoprostal pamphlet that says prolonged bleeding possible. What a crap hand we were dealt that we should be in the small statistic again. I only had one bleed that would have warranted an ER trip, but we were on the road in rural KY with no ER close by. We had to stop at three different exits just to find a gas station open where I could clean up. Luckily that subsided decently quick, but in retrospect, I SHOULD have gone to the DR because I lost a pretty significant amount of blood. I'm sorry you actually had to go.

I will be taking my day 5 out of 10 dose of progesterone tonight. It pretty much stopped the bleeding after two doses, so I'm really hoping that it gets me back to normal - it seems to work for the majority of people. I'm pretty fed up for what "normally" happens, because at every turn, I feel like I have been in that small group of not normal. So, I'm just trying to really quit paying attention to it, focus on my work (as a grad student there is quite enough to go around) and focus on losing the stress weight I've put on from the MC. I will admit that I'm a comfort eater, and have comforted myself to the tune of almost 10lbs (including the couple I put on during the pregnancy). So, I'm making those two things my priority, and if I get pregnant in the meantime, then awesome. If not, I'll buckle down and get back to the routine of being preemptive. I am still temping just to see if my cycle resembles something closer to normal after the progesterone, but I keep telling myself that's low on the priority list, nature will work itself out if this doesn't help, and the less stress in my life the quicker it'll be. FX for both of us on this harrowing journey. Please keep me updated on your status and I'll do the same here on this thread.

cjt121413 · January 2016

cjs260 said:

@cjt121413 You really don't know the comfort you brought me posting here. I have searched and searched and our scenario is just not one that comes up much. Thank you.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this, too. It's been absolutely awful for my moral, and I hate knowing that someone else is struggling in the same way. It looks like you found out two days after I did - I'm so sad for both of us. I wonder if we're part of that little foot note of the misoprostal pamphlet that says prolonged bleeding possible. What a crap hand we were dealt that we should be in the small statistic again. I only had one bleed that would have warranted an ER trip, but we were on the road in rural KY with no ER close by. We had to stop at three different exits just to find a gas station open where I could clean up. Luckily that subsided decently quick, but in retrospect, I SHOULD have gone to the DR because I lost a pretty significant amount of blood. I'm sorry you actually had to go.

I will be taking my day 5 out of 10 dose of progesterone tonight. It pretty much stopped the bleeding after two doses, so I'm really hoping that it gets me back to normal - it seems to work for the majority of people. I'm pretty fed up for what "normally" happens, because at every turn, I feel like I have been in that small group of not normal. So, I'm just trying to really quit paying attention to it, focus on my work (as a grad student there is quite enough to go around) and focus on losing the stress weight I've put on from the MC. I will admit that I'm a comfort eater, and have comforted myself to the tune of almost 10lbs (including the couple I put on during the pregnancy). So, I'm making those two things my priority, and if I get pregnant in the meantime, then awesome. If not, I'll buckle down and get back to the routine of being preemptive. I am still temping just to see if my cycle resembles something closer to normal after the progesterone, but I keep telling myself that's low on the priority list, nature will work itself out if this doesn't help, and the less stress in my life the quicker it'll be. FX for both of us on this harrowing journey. Please keep me updated on your status and I'll do the same here on this thread.

Let me know how the progesterone goes! I think trying to focus on other things is a great idea. I also gained weight with this MC because I'm a total comfort eater. I have had trouble getting motivated to do anything about it, too, because I feel like my hormones are all out of whack which makes me hungry!

I emailed my doc earlier in the week about the new bleeding. She says to treat it as a normal AF, but honestly, I don't think it is. I never really stopped bleeding from the MC, and it hasn't been that long since my HCG returned to 0. ARG!

MrsGargoyle · January 2016

I'm chiming in late, as I missed this back in Dec. I would encourage you to track your waking BBTs daily (see FertilityFriend .com for a free, easy to use source with a solid algorithm), even if you are having a great deal of bleeding, just gathering the extra data point of your basal body temp every morning before you get up and get your day going can often show a pattern, when charted over several months. It might be that you are not ovulating at all, or it might be that you are and not showing any other typical symptoms and are also having a too short LP. Either way, it is good information to have if you need to approach the OB in the future about what is happening.

Protip- Don't ever worry about what any given temp means. Just wake up, temp, enter data into phone, get on with your day. It's long term trends that are important, months, not days or weeks.

cjs260 · January 2016

Thanks @MrsGargoyle! I've been temping well, and the progesterone kept my temp above the cross line as expected. I've had regular cycles before BCPs and we conceived on the first cycle after I got off them, which obviously ended in a MC. But all the reseach I've read says that cycles return to previous states after MC, so I'm hopeful this progesterone will kick start my hormones back into what they were before. I had my last dose last night, so expecting an AF within the next 10 days.

Thanks for the protip, haha! It is hard sometimes to try not to interpret the day to day temp!

cjs260 · January 2016

Just dragging this ole bone up for posterity's sake (or if anyone wants to know how it's going). It always drives me crazy if I'm reading a post from years ago and it ends right where I'm interested. So....

I've been off progesterone exactly one week and AF came today. Now we wait to see if AF goes away in an appropriate amount of time and then stays away. My temp did drop this morning, so at least THAT seems normal. Keeping my fingers crossed. Will probably update one more time if everything goes normal next cycle.

aawalz13 · January 2016

@cjs260 I am so sorry for your loss! I had to comment because your story sounds similar to mine. I had a mmc and opted for a dnc. I began spotting exactly 4 weeks after the dnc and had hoped it would have turned into my first AF. Never turned into anything heavy or period like. Just spotting that lasted for a week then was gone. 6 weeks post surgery I received AF and was supper excited. Lasted about a week (pre-surgery they lasted about 4 days) and DH and I began trying again. Now 8 weeks post surgery I began spotting again which has now lasted a week and was definitely not my period. I am due for AF in two days (based off of AF 6 weeks post surgery) and have no idea what to expect. Like you said, I'm feeling stuck too. Every time I think we can begin trying again I start spotting. And it's an ugly reminder of what we went through. I too feel as though I just can't seem to move forward. I will see what is happening within the next week then will give my doc a call. I hope the progesterone works for you!!!

catiecatp · January 2016

@cjs260 - thanks for the update - I hope things settle down for you soon - hugs and support sent your way

cjs260 · January 2016

@catiecatp Thanks so much!

@aawalz13 It absolutely blows, right? It's like just as soon as you think you're going to get to be proactive, you get hit in the face. I'm sorry that you're going through this, too. I wouldn't wish it on my absolute worst enemy. I would definitely call your doc if you're having similar problems. I kept putting off taking the progesterone because I just "knew" it was AF so I just decided to ride it out. In retrospect, I just wasted time not seeing it for what it really was. I seriously hope that this works. I feel like I've come up from drowning at this point, but I'm one bad leg cramp away from going back under. (what a lousy metaphor...haha) Somedays, I even have to stay away from here, because it really puts me in a bad place seeing people who MC more recently that are already getting normal cycles back. Jealousy doesn't look good on me at all... but sometimes it's all I can feel (pathetic, right?) I think technically since I did have two very heavy flows at the correct times for AF, they were actually AFs, but with the almost constant spotting in between them meant my hormones are out of balance. The way doctors fix imbalances is with progesterone, so hopefully that'll do the trick.

Sorry I got off on a tangent vent, I'm having a bit of a rough emotional day. Again, I'm sorry you're having similar issues, I know that it's basically just a miserable cycle of getting your hopes up just to be able to try, then they come crashing down again. Hopefully 2016 will have much better luck in store for us! Keep me updated on your story, please

aawalz13 · January 2016

@cjs260 Hi! Still waiting -- 2 days "late" for AF. If I can even consider myself late! I don't even know. We are both in the same boat!!! This site makes it hard sometimes and I get so angry/upset when I hear another pregnancy announcement for June (that was when I was due.) Seems like everyone wants to let me know who's due when and it all happens to be June. Blah. Sometimes I even torture myself and go on the birth club thread to poke around. Why? Idk! The day I finished my mc my sister found out she was pregnant. She's 6 weeks behind what I would have been, so I have a constant reminder. I feel your pain and you are not alone in this - we seem to be going through a lot of the same things physically and emotionally!!! Please keep me updated as well. Sending you LOTS of positive thoughts!

cjs260 · February 2016

@aawalz13 Ugh, I'm so sorry about your sister. I know that you're happy for her and that's great for her, but I'm sure it's like getting stabbed every time you see her. I completely get the June thing, seriously. The woman I used to babysit for told me that she was due in June, not even 15 minutes after I told her about my miscarriage - I had to sit in my car and sob before I could drive away. Needless to say every time she has asked for me to sit I have been "busy" (which most of the time is true, at least). A girl who I graduated high school with (and am stupidly friends with on facebook - I have at least unfollowed her) who is known as a hard drug user (was kicked off the softball team in high school for using meth) is due in June. AND my lab just got a new post-doc who's wife is due, when? June, you guessed it. Those are seriously the only 3 pregnant women I know right now, so I can only imagine what it feels like to have your sister so close. How is your cycling going? Knock on wood, I haven't had any spotting and have actually had what I think is fertile CM, but no +OPK yet, or temp spike, so I'm not getting my hopes up.

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