Introduction and How to Measure expectations?

strickland8052 · February 2016

Hi all! Just wanted to introduce myself. I'm coming away from TTCAL and TTGP and on to here...hopefully to stay for a while! My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years and married almost three of those. We started TTC in November and immediately got a BFP. Sadly, that ended at 5 weeks and I was completely devastated. Took a cycle off per orders from my OB, and then started trying again. Just got a BFP this morning at 9DPO after our first month TTCAL. I'm so crazy early, right at 4 weeks and 2 days. Hope this one sticks!

I'm a little nervous, because I don't have as many symptoms as my first one. I also have had some serious cramps, but they feel more like a stomach thing than a uterus thing. I know nerves are to be expected, so I plan to start acupuncture as a way to keep my anxiety under control. I'm going to try to stay off doctor google and focus on the here and now.

One thing that I would like to know from you ladies is how do you measure your expectations? I am a planner by nature, so last time I had scheduled appointments at daycares and with my OB/GYN's office within the first week of my BFP (sounds crazy, but it actually is a good idea in my area considering how busy these places are in my city). All of this stuff, while exciting at the time, came back to bite me when I had to cancel everything post-loss. I do NOT want to go through that again, so now I'm the total opposite: completely uninterested in planning anything, but in my head I know I probably should get moving on these things soon. I'm trying to be excited about just being pregnant right now and not get excited about things that could happen in the future. At the same time, it is hard to not get excited/plan for the future when these are things that need to be done. Do any of you have this issue? What do you do?

rkrichey · February 2016

Fortunately I live in a small town where I didn't have to plan anything early bc my coping mechanism was to ignore it all for several weeks. Probably not a great thing to do but after 3 losses that's where I've ended up. Kind of like an "I'll believe it when I see it" kind of thing. It's so hard after a loss or losses to let yourself jump on the bandwagon. I guess I don't really have any helpful advice. Just letting you know I get it!

FireInWonderland · February 2016

My advice (and congrats again!!!) is to wait until 8-9 weeks to start making those plans, and in the meantime focus on you before your symptoms kick in hardcore and you're too tired/ sick to make time to do your favorite things. Make some OB appointments and maybe get excited about some other plans you can make now that you won't have to 'cancel' if you suffer a loss again, like talking about the future with DH or maybe a weekly date night to make sure he doesn't feel alone or neglected while you're growing your LO. In the 4-8 week time frame I did as many little things as I could to pamper me and DH and make him feel important, too, because soon we will be focused on a LO. Plan for different things this time around and get excited. You should try to enjoy your pregnancy, and be positive while you're pregnant. It's much easier said than done, but I hope things look up quickly for you!!! Xoxo

bgf1 · February 2016

I agree with pps. I didn't call my doctor until seven weeks, and had my first appointment at 8.5. Then I just focused on daily life and tried not to obsess about the pregnancy. Easier said than done, however it really has made the time fly. I too had a previous loss and my best coping mechanism was to try not to focus too much on things early on.

Introduction and How to Measure expectations?

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