So I've been following the ask STM anything about labor and breastfeeding has come up a little but I really want the nitty gritty. People get pretty passionate about this topic and I want to hear those strong opinions to help form my own. Just everyone play nice with each other. I (and I'm sure other FTM) want to know:
1. What do you wish you had known first time around?
2. Best advice you could give.
3. Challenges you faced
4. What does it feel like
5. Any books you'd recommend?
6. Are bf classes worth it? Even before baby is here?
7. Milk supply issues and tips
8. Pumping after going to work...issues there?
9. Anything else you would like to add.
Feel free to answer any and all questions. I've had so many friends who had a lot of challenges while bf so they gave up and that's their journey. But I REALLY want to make this work for me. I do plan to use formula just as a backup. Thanks ahead of time for your input.
Re: All things breastfeeding! STM's help!
2. Best advice you could give. Look into lactation consultants at the hospital, pedi, other places so you know your potential resources.
3. Challenges you faced DS went to the NICU and was given formula right away because he had blood sugar issues. We had to use a nipple shield to latch and that was a PAIN. I was so happy when he weaned off it. Despite having a rougher start, he nursed for 18 months.
4. What does it feel like Weird. a tugging feeling maybe? painful at times.
5. Any books you'd recommend? Don't over-read because I just found that overwhelming and not everything will apply to you.
6. Are bf classes worth it? Even before baby is here? One overview class isn't a bad idea, especially if you can get your SO to go so they understand some.
8. Milk supply issues and tips Be careful in the first few weeks as your supply regulates. I ate lactation cookies to help supply a bit and because they were delicious.
7. Anything else you would like to add. Every breastfeeding relationship is different. You'll find your normal.
Triplets due 6/29/16 also from an IUI!
2. Best advice you could give. Get the little gel pads they sell and put them in the freezer. Lifesaver for the first month.
3. Challenges you faced I had it pretty easy, but the pain was really hard to get through. It took a couple weeks to get the hang of things.
4. What does it feel like At first it felt like pinching, but after a while it felt just like the tugging and didn't hurt
5. Any books you'd recommend? I just looked at things from pinterest and read articles. The most help I got was from friends who just went through it.
6. Are bf classes worth it? Even before baby is here? We did one and it was nice. Really gave you what to expect. I'll be the first to admit that as soon as DS was born I threw my hands up and forgot everything. The nurse helped him with his first latch and we were fine after that.
8. Milk supply issues and tips Once (if) you start pumping, it saves a bit of time having the baby nurse and pumping the other side at the same time. It's a little tricky, but with a hands-free bra, it's possible.
7. Anything else you would like to add. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Everyone always said "if it hurts, the baby isn't latching right" and for the first week I was convinced he had a bad latch. Nope, he just was a strong sucker. The nurse in the hospital actually recommended a pacifier because some babies just like to suck. Make sure you do whatever YOU feel is right.
Best advice you could give: If you can, stick it out for the first 6 weeks. The first weeks were miserable for me both times; my nipples were so sore (and I used nipple cream religiously, especially with my second) that I cringed every time she latched, but once my nipples toughened up, it was smooth sailing.
Challenges you faced: With my older daughter, I had major supply issues. I did everything I could to increase my supply, and nothing worked. BFing at home was fine, but I just do not respond well to the pump, so I had an immense amount of trouble keeping up with what she drank at daycare. I drove myself crazy for months, cried, obsessed, spent hours power pumping, spent lots of money on different teas and supplements and products, and nothing helped. It literally made me depressed that my body could not feed my child. I started supplementing with formula, and then wound up strictly formula feeding by around 6 months. And you know what? She was and is perfect, and healthy, and smart. With my second daughter, I went into it with the mindset that I'd give it a good try, and if my supply tanked again, I was switching to formula without a second's thought or any guilt, rather than waste precious tiny baby time obsessing over something beyond my control. I was only working part-time by then, and could get away with only pumping once a day, and wound up exclusively BFing until she was 22 months old. Totally different experiences, and totally different mindsets. I'm taking the same plan into baby #3: give it a try, and if it doesn't work? Formula will be perfectly fine.
How painful it is! It doesn't just come naturally. Baby will want to nurse ALL the time. That doesn't mean they aren't getting enough or that you aren't making enough, it means they have a teeny tiny belly and are helping to build your supply. Cluster feeding is a frigging nightmare. Once you hit the 2-3 week mark, it gets soooooo much easier and that I would fall in love with nursing my sweet girl. Both you and baby have to learn how to do it. Be patient. Take lots of deep breaths. And drink lots of water!
2. Best advice you could give.
Leave the formula samples at the hospital, they are way too tempting at 3am when you hurt, are exhausted, and baby is screaming. YOU CAN DO IT!! Make sure you have tons of support. Know that you aren't alone. That your nipples may bleed, your toes may curl during sessions, and just go 1 feeding at a time. I can not reiterate enough how much easier it gets after the first few weeks. Join a Le Leche group, get a lactation consultant, don't be afraid to ask 100 questions, and do not let pediatricians scare you into supplementing.
3. Challenges you faced.
I have an inverted nipple. Both baby and I had to learn to work with it. It meant that I would pump on that side for 60-90 seconds to pull it out just enough to get baby's attention. After the first month or so, she learned to just latch extra wide and it was no longer an issue. Dealt with clogged ducts, teething, supply issues when I returned to work, and engorgement as well. By the time I was faced with these issues, I knew that if I could deal with the first few weeks of learning, that these issue would be a breeze.
4. What does it feel like.
Like a tugging, pulling, sometimes it can hurt. Let down tingles.
5. Any books you'd recommend?
6. Are bf classes worth it? Even before baby is here?
Ehh. I took one, it didn't teach me much that the internet and youtube couldn't tell me. I've taken to giving my friends and family the down and dirty breast feeding talk that I wish someone would have told me. Way more valuable than the pre baby class to me. Classes and 1 on 1 after baby was born was imperative though!
8. Milk supply issues and tips: Stay hydrated! Latch baby every chance you get. Hold off introducing baby to a pacifier for the first couple weeks while your supply gets established. Lactation cookies. Pumping for an extra 10 mins after baby is done nursing if you feel like your supply is trying to lack. Milk is all about supply and demand. It'll take a day or 2 to start producing more, but your body will always make enough. Trust it!
7. Anything else you would like to add. Have I mentioned that the first couple weeks are awful? ;-) Just plow through them. Once you make it through that, it'll smooth out. Nursing is such an incredible thing. Once you give up, you'll not be able to get it back. So if it gets really difficult, and you think you want to quit, tell yourself, "X" more days, then regroup. Don't give it up without some serious thought. Good luck to you mama!!
1) get a GREAT pump. There is no replacement for a baby. Babies drain you so much better and more efficiently than any pump ever could, but the better your pump, the better your experience will be. I used the Medela pump in style double electric last time around and this time through doing reviews and since my insurance has added the Hygeia Enjoye as a covered pump, I think I'm going to go with that one this time around. Make sure you check with your insurance about your coverage options since a pump is medical equipment.
2) get a really nice hands free pumping bra. I was fortunate enough to be able to pump either in my office or in a conference room with my computer so I worked while I pumped.
3) Lansinoh makes these gel packs that you can either heat or stick in the freezer for your breasts. I found if I stuck them in the microwave for a minute and put them on in the beginning of my pump session, it helped my let down and helped empty me faster (when you are pumping, the faster you empty the better, because it's a time suck)
4) get comfortable massaging your breasts. Towards the end of my sessions I hand massage to encourage my milk to empty into the pump.
5) if you have to pump somewhere where there is a possibility of being walked in on, use a nursing cover while you pump. I didn't, because I would have my back to the door and say "occupied" if someone walked into the conference room. This was after they would blatantly ignore the giant cow sign I liked to put on the door (I work in the oilfield with a bunch of men - they thought it was hilarious and eased the tension a bit)
6) invest in some nice pump/nurse friendly shirts. It's so much nicer not to have to completely de-robe the top half of your body to pump. I just pulled the front of my shirts down and put my bra over my shirt and basically with my back to the door you wouldn't have a clue what I was doing (except for that awesome noise the pump makes! Haha)
also, if you have to fly without baby for work and pump - print out the TSAs regulations on taking breastmilk through security. I had my print outs and I'm glad I did because I encountered several poorly trained TSA agents and had to show them their own policies. Map out your airports to see about the best options for pumping. Denver and Houston both suck because your only option is a family bathroom which is disgusting.
Mrs. H
Crohn's Dx: August 2008
Endometriosis Dx: May 2010
Married: 05/19/2012
TTC #1: June 2013
BFP: December 2013
DS: Born 08/29/2014
TTC #2: July 2015
BFP #2: September 25, 2015
-My DD latched within minutes of being born, literally the nurse just put my boob right in her mouth and we were good. (I had no idea what I was doing)
-The nurses really stressed how great breastfeeding is (which it is) but I almost felt like I had no choice.
-I only exclusively breast fed for a month because I was tired of being the only one who could feed her and I only had a hand pump (which worked great, medela) This time around I am getting an electric.
-Then I breast and formula fed DD, she was only about 2 months old but did great, no nipple confusion, took to both. However, my milk supply severely depleted when I formula and breastfed.
-One boob hurt the other did not, and I got stretch marks from DD breastfeeding on the boob that hurt.
-LANSINOH NIPPLE CREAM! this is a god send because your nipples are going to hurt soooo bad.
-IMO breastfeeding is sooo much more convenient and less time consuming than formula.
-A boppy pillow or the breast friend pillow is very useful for feeding.
-Don't be afraid if you have small boobs, I do and I never felt inadequate to breastfeed and when I was exclusively breastfeeding, I always produced enough.
-lastly (strictly for vanity) my boobs never became saggy or misshapen after breastfeeding lol, if anything they got a bit bigger.
edited for more content
Even though I'm not a pro. I had some really sh*tty nurses. DD tried to latch twice before the LC was running for a breast shield. I hated it, DD couldn't figure it out. Then when we took her for her 3 day check up, the nurse immediately started pushing formula. So my only piece of advice I can really offer is to stand your ground. Take help when it is offered and then use your mommy judgement to do what's right for your baby and you. I felt pushed around and unsupported. It was the worst feeling.
**My questions are:
I keep reading "Feed on demand" with DD, I was a clock watcher and would feed her every 2 hours. But I wondered if I should have tried more often? So, when you say "feed on demand" is that like, every 15, 30 minutes? Especially with brand new babes, they are sooo sleepy! I'm a schedule person so I feel like everything needs to be timed.
Also, would you/did you take a pump to the hospital when you deliver?
Edited to add more questions
Of course, this applies to newborns. Once you get into a groove, it's much less demanding. The babies are bigger, stronger and more efficient, so nursing takes much less time. Plus they can take more, and go longer between feeds. Then of course, as you introduce food, it gets even easier.
I was so afraid of starving her it was ridiculous. My DD also lost weight after leaving the hospital but I know that is very common. She also put weight back on quickly.
One thing that I personally believed really helped my milk supply was I didn't pump the first month, my DD exclusively breastfed from the actual breast. Like one of the PPs above said, babies clean you out better than a pump.
I didn't bring a pump to the hospital, I feel like that could be too much of a hassle. However, I heard its a plus for parents who have a LO in the NICU.
I wouldn't take a pump to the hospital with you. If for some reason you must pump at the hospital, they will have pumps there that are probably better than yours. But your baby will remove milk better than a pump, so barring a situation where baby is born too early to be able to latch or has some anatomical problem (lip/tongue tie, cleft palette, etc) that prevents breastfeeding, you're better off just feeding right from the best to get your supply going.
2. Best advice you could give. if it's important to you, don't give up when the going gets tough. That first few months can be really hard. And don't doubt your instincts. Rely on the lactation consultants and take advice from other mothers!!! But also don't feel like a failure if you have to supplement
3. Challenges you faced My son had a tongue tie which the nurses at the hospital mentioned but the first lactation consultant said was fine. The first week he made my nipples bleed and bruise terribly! I used nipple cream, tried to correct his latch, etc. we had his tongue clipped at the Peds office and he didn't bleed or cry! He ate better right away, but I think I was in so much pain I hated nursing and I probably did a little damage to my supply. I got really discouraged and cried everytime he ate. He then developed reflux and so he would bite down and pop off constantly! That hurts!
4. What does it feel like I think sometimes when your sore or there is a bad latch it can hurt (especially if you end up bruised or bleeding). But over all when they latch right, it's not painful, infact the actual feeling is hard to describe. It's almost like they are just a part of your body really. And it gets more so that way as time goes on!
5. Any books you'd recommend? I honestly didn't read books on it, I had sisters and my mom or I read online!
6. Are bf classes worth it? Even before baby is here? I didn't take any the first go around, but I kind of wish I had. I definitely can see the value! I felt so lost when I got home with my baby and I wish I had some more info beforehand.
7. Milk supply issues and tips I developed loss of supply when I couldn't pump as often as I wanted to at work. And pumping sucks honestly. But I would say try to stick to pumping early in the morning, and then around every 3 hours so that you can keep supply going if you are at work! Fenugreek can help too! (You might start smelling like maple syrup)
8. Pumping after going to work...issues there? see previous
9. Anything else you would like to add. BF can be so rewarding and such a bonding experience! But also I encourage anyone not to feel pressure from others if it doesn't work out or you need to supplement! All that matters is that you and baby are happy and stress free!
OMG the leaking! I had no idea. I never had a clogged duct but sometimes had to wash my sheets every day. Oh and when breast milk dries, it's rock hard. I could hold my breast pads horizontal and they wouldn't budge. I figured out to use minky covered cloth diaper inserts with a PUL backing at night. Everything else was too small. They'd move off my nipple and bam, milk everywhere!
2. Best advice you could give.
I kept being told if it hurts you have a bad latch. So I kept trying to correct the latch but really, there was nothing wrong. It just hurts at first! Now if you're crying and bleeding that's a problem. But try not to overthink it.
3. Challenges you faced. Both of my nipples are inverted. I used a nipple shield for the first few days until DS "popped" them out. They bled. It hurt. I got over it and we never had a problem again. If you end up needing to use a shield I'd try going without it after a few days. If it doesn't work, you can pop it on but life gets easier once you don't need it.
4. What does it feel like. After the first few weeks, kind of like a fish nibbling on your toe (but a baby on your boob). Now if LO gets off the nip and ends up sucking on your straight up boob - OH MY F**NG G-D does it hurt.
5. Any books you'd recommend? Didn't read any books. Just an article from Lucie's List and I found it very informative.
6. Are bf classes worth it? Even before baby is here? I didn't take any. There was one offered at the hospital I delievered at and I asked my OB about it. He said I could take it but compared classes to watching a video the learn how to swim. I didn't end up taking it and I think that was a great decision for me. There were so many lactation consultants and nurses there to help me in the hospital. I doubt I would have remembered anything I learned.
7. Milk supply issues and tips - didn't have any.
8. Pumping after going to work...issues there? I'm a SAHM but I always used kellymom.com as a reference.
9. Anything else you would like to add. Lanolin saved my life the first few weeks. I had some Earth Mama stuff that everyone on my previous BMB loved and all these sites recommended and I just hated it. They should give you a free tube of lanolin at the hospital, make sure you take it!
I have plans to hopefully start to pick up a couple of hours at work about 4 weeks after baby is born. I mean 1-2 hours a day in the evenings while husband is home with baby. I would like to breastfeed but would like to incorporate bottle feedings (with breastmilk) for when I need to be gone longer periods of time but husband is home with baby or if we have a child care provider for a few hours.
I am wondering about the following:
1) when should I try to introduce a bottle to baby but still avoid nipple confusion?
2) are there better bottles to use for this? Any experience with a type of bottle that you like better?
3) how long do babies typically stay on the 2 hour feeding schedule and will I need to pump every two hours to keep up with that demand?
4) my mind is swimming right now with how to pump, bag, store, and use breast milk. Any support from any one who has done it that it isn't as overwhelming as it seems would be great. For example, when I am using stored milk, do I heat it up before putting it in bottle? Do I transfer it to the fridge first and then to bottle after it has unfrozen?
Any advice or feedback would be awesome. As much as I would love being a SAHM, I need to work for the income and for the loan forgiveness option for my student loans. I am super lucky to have a flexible schedule and j adore what I do. I just want to find the best balance i can to keep working part time and provide the care I would like for my baby.
1) when should I try to introduce a bottle to baby but still avoid nipple confusion?
I waited about two weeks. But did the pacifier a little before that. We had no problems.
2) are there better bottles to use for this? Any experience with a type of bottle that you like better?
We used Joovy Boob bottles. I loved them, super easy to clean. Matter of preference though, for you & baby.
3) how long do babies typically stay on the 2 hour feeding schedule and will I need to pump every two hours to keep up with that demand?
Depends on the baby, we were on 2 hour cycle for a while. Yes, you should pump when baby takes a bottle to keep up with demand. Not sure on logistics if you are pumping from the beginning with output & storage. Check out Kelly Mom, lots of good resources on the web.
4) my mind is swimming right now with how to pump, bag, store, and use breast milk. Any support from any one who has done it that it isn't as overwhelming as it seems would be great. For example, when I am using stored milk, do I heat it up before putting it in bottle? Do I transfer it to the fridge first and then to bottle after it has unfrozen?
I would run the frozen bag under warm water for a quick defrost. Or you can put frozen milk in fridge the day before you need it. You have 24hrs to use milk after it has defrosted. It's really pretty easy. I used to pump after morning feeding when I was the most full to get a stash going.