Showers

SnobunnieMel · February 2016

I just wanted to get people's input on this since it's my first pregnancy. When do people usually have their baby shower? My husband is from Canada and we don't get to go back as much as we would like, but we will be home for a wedding at the end of May and my SIL is asking to throw us a shower while there. I will be 21 weeks then but wasn't sure if that was too early to have one. Do people usually wait until further along in case of second trimester complication?

CTRMommyof4 · February 2016

I think 21 weeks is fine for a shower, it's earlier than most, but you have travel factors it sounds like. I had mine at around 30-35 weeks.

PrimRoseMama · February 2016

I had my shower with DD at 27 weeks. I usually try to chat with anyone that offers (because hosting your own is gauche & tacky according to tradittional etiquette)to have a shower after 24 weeks. This is due to my own history of loss (one baby at 20 weeks and another during first trimester). I just feel more comfortable after 24 weeks. So if its an issue of travel and timing-- I would definitely go ahead at 21 weeks. She wants to celebrate you and its ok to graciously accept.

There is no such thing as "jinxing a pregnancy". I have to remind myself of that constantly. Some cultures believe that showers (all together) are bad ideas. It has to do with the cultural norms and traditions in your immediate family. My in-laws are Taiwanese and they refuse to celebrate the baby until they are here. They almost had heart attacks when I had a shower for DD because they believe its insanely bad luck and tempting fate to buy anything for baby before they are here.

However, there is no safe for me (and I'm sorry if this scares anyone) and so I spend the majority of my pregnancies fending off feelings of dread. I work really hard to stay positive and repeat my mantra ("today I'm pregnant and I LOVE this baby").

TL;DR: There is no "safe" during pregnancy so accept the shower as offered by the hostess at 21 weeks if you feel comfortable.

PeggyOlsonFTW · February 2016

It depends. Lots of people like to wait to make sure everything is fine with baby, and also because shower guests like to see a big bump at the shower. But, if distance/convenience is an issue, then go with whatever works!

PerkyErky · February 2016

In your situation I think having your shower at 21 weeks makes perfect sense. You may also end up having more than one shower. At 21 weeks you will most likely know the sex as well if you are finding out. People love to buy gender specific stuff.

i had my shower with DS2 at 35 weeks because I wanted to be past viability (we had a late term loss at 21 weeks), but before my cerclage was removed at 37 weeks as I could go into labor at any point then.

Any time people want to celebrate a new baby is the right time.

MrsHudson2014 · February 2016

I think it's totally fine. When I held my SIL's shower, I think she was around 30 weeks. But do you really want to postpone and have to travel - again! I say go for it.

Sammyt86 · February 2016

I will be 25-26 weeks when I have my first Baby Shower.
I had already planned to go back home for a visit before I became pregnant and I won't be traveling after this holiday so we are going to have a small one there and then probably my MIL will host another small one when we are back home

krzyriver · February 2016

PrimRoseMama said:

However, there is no safe for me (and I'm sorry if this scares anyone) and so I spend the majority of my pregnancies fending off feelings of dread. I work really hard to stay positive and repeat my mantra ("today I'm pregnant and I LOVE this baby").

@PrimRoseMama I love your mantra. There's no safe for me either, and I haven't had much hope this pregnancy. I'm going to start saying this every day.

br0co1ii · February 2016

I think that timing is totally reasonable. Yes, they're typically later, but there are so many reasons for having one early. MY bff was due in January, but they decided to hold her shower early because they knew people would be busy for the holidays.
So yes, if it makes sense for your situation, then it's totally okay to have it early.

katylady09 · February 2016

I think that's totally normal if you are traveling. I've had my showers anywhere from 31-36 weeks, but really, you have your shower whenever your hostess wants to give you one.

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