Infant at a funeral

slp213psu · February 2016

My uncle passed away on Sunday. He was 86 and has been ill for quite some time, years, in fact. The funeral is next Tuesday and my husband can't go. I will definitely not be taking my 2.5 year old but I'm not sure if I should take my 4.5 month old. If I don't take her i would have to pump at some point because it's an hour away and I'd be gone 8:30-1ish.
I know if I ask my mom she'll say to bring her because she'll want to see her. But from an outside perspective, should I bring her or leave her also and figure out the pumping thing?

raspell · February 2016

If a close family member of mine died, I would probably bring my LO with me with the understanding that I might have to sneak out if he is being loud or gets upset. My thoughts are that funerals are a time to be with family and morn the loss together, as well as to celebrate life. Maybe sit in the back or near a door so you can slip out if needed?

kjacks6347 · February 2016

Lurking from O15. I recently attended a funeral for my mother. Honestly I don't think you should. I brought baby to the visitation but left him with my aunt got the survice. The last thing you're going to want to do is have a baby get upset and start crying while people are grieving(yourself included). I don't know if that all came out right or not lol. My baby can be a monster if he gets tired or is bored so this is just from my perspective. You know your baby best and you know what he/she can handle! Follow your gut and good luck momma. More importantly sorry for you loss.

MW5280 · February 2016

You know your LO. If she's the kind of baby that would just hang out and be happy getting passed around (just thinking about what a funeral with my kiddo would be like), then go for it.

My my cousin was in your shoes a year ago: our great aunt passed away (she was another grandma to us) and her daughter was about 2.5-3 months old. She brought the baby and she was passed around and held by relatives, my cousin disappeared to pump/pumped in the car. It was just fine. Babies cry and do their thing. My cousin had to step out with her at one point during the Rosary but baby was happy/sleeping during the funeral.

It it can be done but it's totally dependent upon the personality of baby, I think.

tlc11934 · February 2016

I left my LO home a few weeks ago. It would've been inconvenient to have her with me plus I didn't want her being passed around or exposed to germs. Can you pump in the restroom of the FP? Or the car?

kanga915 · February 2016

I took mine at three months. She did fine. I EBF and had no one to watch her (funeral was out of town and everyone we knew there was at the funeral). I excused myself during the visitation to nurse in the funeral director's office (semi-awkward but whatever). I think it's totally appropriate to take your LO. Sit on an aisle if you can in case you need to duck out.

shorty0314 · February 2016

I agree i think its completely appropriate, my grandma passed away last week and the viewing was yesterday and services were today and I took lo with me to both. I didn't have anyone to watch her so I just took her pack n play with me (we were there from 1:30-9) and set it up out of the way and she did fantastic the whole time

chelseajeanene · February 2016

I took mine at 3 months and it was fine. The baby made everyone happy and smile for a moment

eah325 · February 2016

kjacks6347 said:

Lurking from O15. I recently attended a funeral for my mother. Honestly I don't think you should. I brought baby to the visitation but left him with my aunt got the survice. The last thing you're going to want to do is have a baby get upset and start crying while people are grieving(yourself included). I don't know if that all came out right or not lol. My baby can be a monster if he gets tired or is bored so this is just from my perspective. You know your baby best and you know what he/she can handle! Follow your gut and good luck momma. More importantly sorry for you loss.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother
@kjacks6347

lynnaeschr · February 2016

I just took mine to a funeral a couple of weeks ago....there were 4 others there too!! I just sat towards the back and did have to walk out for a minute, but he fell asleep and he brought so much joy to a sad day. I was nervous about it but he did great and he is not a super easy baby especially when tired.

momofsweetps · February 2016

I am SO sorry for your loss

I have taken several of mine as babies to funerals (and older). Never had a problem and the family attending loved seeing them. Also some times there was a nursery worker to play with kids.

slp213psu · February 2016

Thanks everyone! When I came back to the thread right now I was thinking against but now I'm back to thinking yes. She's very easygoing but she is at th phase where she's constantly making noise, happy or mad.
To everyone else who had this situation, thanks for your input and sorry for your losses.

joules11235 · February 2016

Lurking from O15.
Last year, when my grandfather passed, I brought my 3-4 year old (sorry, can't remember exactly how old she was at the time). She was her usual, nice, but sometimes a bit loud self during the visitation and only once spoke up during the service. My mom told me that I didn't need to worry about keeping her too calm and that she was doing just fine, and that she brought a bit of lightness to a sad time. I don't know how close you are, but I would have no problem bringing an infant and have and would bring DD1 as well.

momofsweetps · February 2016

I wanted to mention that I took my 1.5 month old to my Grandfather's funeral and my 4 & 5 year old at the time. I debated on whether to take them but my Grandma said it was such a welcome distraction on a sad day. SO do what makes you feel comfortable.

jen83mn · February 2016

I think it's more than appropriate to bring LO, so it just depends what would be easiest for you. Considering it's the middle of cold and flu season, I've been avoiding taking LO out in public and wouldn't want him around (and being held by) all those people who may be sick, but I'm also more cautious in general with that sort of thing

ForeverEverAfter · February 2016

I'd take her, especially as it's a family funeral. People understand a baby fussing, and it both helps people to remember to celebrate life, and brings joy when people need it most. I haven't had any funerals since my kids were born *knock wood* but my SIL brought her 8mo to a funeral we were at and was told by at least 20 different people that they were so glad she did.

ElleMF728 · February 2016

I'm sorry for your loss. I think this depends on the baby. I never would have brought my first but I think I would probably be fine to bring DS2.

beckygoetz93 · February 2016

My grandpa passed when my son was 5 months old. I brought him. He was very good. He did fart loudly in the middle of it but it lightened the mood a little haha.

Want a personalized experience?

Infant at a funeral

Re: Infant at a funeral

Choose Another Board

Search Boards