God parents

BoyblueGirlypink · February 2016

I asked one person to be God parent. They said they would but cannot afford to buy presents for the baby. I know they can afford as the party every weekend buying alcohol and things ect. I am fine with no presents ( I think a card with a piece of candy is fine but won't even get a card). What would you do in this situation?

moomee · February 2016

That's not really the purpose of a godparent...

lilqt3929 · February 2016

I don't have much experience with the God parent thing but is it really about presents? I thought that role was more so another person for your LO to look up to and have a special relationship with them. You can't make people change their weekend activities (or buy a present/card) because you asked them to be a God parent, it was actually pretty straight forward of that person to tell you they can't afford the typical(?) presents. Either accept that no present/card is ok with you and that this is the best person to be a God parent to your child or think about finding someone else to fill that role in your child's life.

BoyblueGirlypink · February 2016

Hmm no but they live in different countries. So they will never see each other. They don't want to call or anything. So my feeling is they didn't want to say no but don't want it anyway and tried to use the no presents to get out of it. It wouldn't be the first thing I say "yes I will be god parents but I can't buy presents".

g8trkim · February 2016

Well, the purpose of the godparent isn't really to buy presents. It's more for guidance and such. However, I don't know if I would pick a godparent who is out partying and drinking frequently, but that's just me.

tripledaggerWed95976 · February 2016

I don't understand what being a god parent has to do with buying presents.... God parents are supposed to be there to offer support and guidance to the child and not always, but many times, the god parent is the one who will take physical responsibility for the child in the event of something happening to both parents. Sounds to me like you should consider asking someone more responsible

surferP528 · February 2016

You could always have two sets of godparents - maybe these who live far away as sort of symbolic godparents if you're just trying to honor them, and then another set of godparents who are close by who could offer guidance/be the "fun aunt and uncle" type to be involved.
I agree with other posters, though, it's not about presents, but that being said, your description doesn't make them sound like they want to be very involved.

MississippiCatfish · February 2016

g8trkim said:

Well, the purpose of the godparent isn't really to buy presents. It's more for guidance and such. However, I don't know if I would pick a godparent who is out partying and drinking frequently, but that's just me.

MMmmhhhmmmmm. Sounds a lot like my godparents, that I've never ever spent time alone with or asked advice about anything.

Sorry OP, not a fun situation to be in, but I would think twice about why you think those people would make good godparents.

Achae · February 2016

BoyblueGirlypink said:

Hmm no but they live in different countries. So they will never see each other. They don't want to call or anything. So my feeling is they didn't want to say no but don't want it anyway and tried to use the no presents to get out of it. It wouldn't be the first thing I say "yes I will be god parents but I can't buy presents".

So... Why did you ask this person?

g8trkim · February 2016

BoyblueGirlypink said:

Hmm no but they live in different countries. So they will never see each other. They don't want to call or anything. So my feeling is they didn't want to say no but don't want it anyway and tried to use the no presents to get out of it. It wouldn't be the first thing I say "yes I will be god parents but I can't buy presents".

Sounds like you need to rethink who you pick.

Latina211508 · February 2016

It's not about presents at all. I would also second guess why you would even consider them. Don't just chose anyone to be godparents for your child.

middy411 · February 2016

My husband and I are godparents to our best friends' 18 month old son. We treat him sort of as a nephew. We are usually the top pick if a babysitter is needed. We are around him more than any other people and if his parents were to experience untimely deaths, we would take him in as our son. The moment they asked us and made clear how serious they took the title, everything changed. I now see him as part of the family and plan to attend all of his major life events. I have no idea what presents have to do with anything or why that would even be an appropriate response. I wouldn't choose a godparent who I didn't think would take being my child's guardian 100% seriously. It's about family, not gifts.

RissKay · February 2016

You asked someone to be the godparent of your child, but they are never going to see them because they live in a different country?

Yeah, sounds like you need to reevaluate who the godparents are. Or don't have one at all...

flowerintherain · February 2016

Hmm where I'm from godparents are a religious/cultural thing mostly. When baby is baptized, godparents are established and take responsibility to be there as guidance for the child as well as take custody if anything is to happen to the real parents. But I'm by the Mexican border, so I guess that's why it's so different. There are some people in the area though who are not super religious that have godparents act as an uncle or aunt basically. I'm not sure what presents have to do with anything 0.o

cMichelle0423 · February 2016

BoyblueGirlypink said:

I asked one person to be God parent. They said they would but cannot afford to buy presents for the baby. I know they can afford as the party every weekend buying alcohol and things ect. I am fine with no presents ( I think a card with a piece of candy is fine but won't even get a card). What would you do in this situation?

First of all, a Godparent is supposed to be someone who helps teach your child about religion. The exact definition is "a person who presents a child at baptism and responds on the child's behalf, promising to take responsibility for the child's religious education." Nothing about being a Godparent requires buying gifts or cards for the godchild.

A lot of people confuse "Godparent" and "legal gardian" (as in who gets your kid if anything happens to you or your husband). Both are two completely different things. Neither of which seem to be whatever it is your talking about since neither require gift giving. So I guess I'd figure out what exactly you're wanting this person to do or be to your child?

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