Scared CPS Will Take Unborn Baby — The Bump
Special Needs

Scared CPS Will Take Unborn Baby

I suppose that I will just jump right into this post. First and foremost, I have never delt with CPS before. I had my son at age 15 and I was homeless, so I split the custody with his paternal grandmother. Fast forward, I had my daugter at age 21. Her father (my now ex-husband) and I had a very unhealthy relationship. It was toxic on both ends, emotionally and physically. She also has severe autism. I eventually and inevitably had to leave after 4 years of Hell. During the divorce, it was mutually agreed upon that he would have custody of her (he is a wonderful father) and I could have rights to see her every other weekend. Please, keep in mind the severity of her autism. It is impossible for her to be tossed from house-to-house because even a simple car ride causes her a lot of trauma and anxiety. She is non-verbal, cannot feed herself and is violent towards herself/others. The hardest part in all of this is that she no longer remembers who I am, due to not being around her constantly; her memory is poor, but she is such a beautiful and intelligent child. My son and I are extremely close and he comes to stay with me every other weekend; he will be moving in with me next year. Once again, never once has CPS been involved. Should I be concerned about them taking away my unborn baby? Maybe it is just me over thinking.

Re: Scared CPS Will Take Unborn Baby

  • So you were in a physically abusive relationship with the father of your autistic daughter but LEFT her with him?? Why did you give up custody? It's sad she doesn't even know you now because you hardly ever see her but you are close with your child that doesn't have special needs. Something is wrong here.

    I'm so confused by all of this because why would CPS come and take your baby away? What makes you think that?

  • briwuvsbribriwuvsbri member
    edited December 2015
    I had no choice, but to leave. He is an absolutely amazing father, but him and I mixed together like gasoline & fire. You cannot remove a severely autistic child from their familiar enviroment; that would be selfish. All her appointments are over there, her schooling and therepy. I did not just give up custody, it was a court agreement due to her autism. I do not live close to her, but my son and I live a town a part. I cannot drive because of a disability. It is not an easy situation and I understand that people on here are going to judge me for this, so it was my fault for even seeking advice. I apologize.
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  • briwuvsbribriwuvsbri member
    edited December 2015
    I should note that if my ex-husband and I lived in our own home, then he would have went and I would have stayed. However, we lived with his parents; booting him out was not an option.
  • Cps likely varies from place to place , but in my city pretty much the only time they would remove a newborn without a previous history is if the mother comes into the hospital drunk or high and the hospital staff feel that the baby wouldn't be safe. They generally have their hands full responding to known problems- they certainly aren't out looking for more work for themselves.

    Maybe for your peace of mind, you could make a list of resources you've used with your other children- like parenting classes you've been to, books you've read, mentors, family, and friends who have helped and/or will help out when the baby comes- just so if you ever were questioned about your ability to nurture your baby and keep him/her safe, that you would have solid evidence that you are prepared for it.

    Rest assured cps in most places is much different than it was 20 or 30 years ago- their primary goal is to keep kids with their biological families.
  •  If you couldn't take care of your previous children, and now you are pregnant again.....this is a disturbing pattern and at the end all the children suffer. I am 100% disturbed by this post. If you are in the position to have a child why not go back and take care of your other previous children if you have the time and money to have another child???? The right thing would have been to go back and correct past errors, not keep having children.
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