November 2015 Moms

Motherhood Olympics

So as I was working up a sweat bouncing on my yoga ball with my son last night for probably the 5th time in an hour last night trying desperately to get him to fall asleep and stay asleep, I realized motherhood should be an Olympic sport. Then I started coming up with events that would be part of it... What can you add to the list?

The Bob and Walk - make laps around your house with your child - simultaneously walking and bobbing. You must move fast enough to keep your child from screaming while slow enough to lull them to sleep. Bonus points if you combine with the Shush. Winner gets their child to sleep the fastest.

The Shush (occasionally called the Shush-Pat) - same goal as the bob and walk. Get your child to sleep peacefully. There are events mixed with the Bob and Walk and others with the Rock

The Rock - rocking chair or standing. Calm your screaming child

One-Hand - complete as many activities as you can one-handed. They get increasingly harder as you progress through. Activities include microwaving something, pouring a drink, drinking a hot beverage without spilling, eating a meal, going to the bathroom, doing your makeup, preparing a meal, etc. 

The Entertainer - the person who can keep their child from screaming/crying the longest by finding as many activities/toys as possible to entertain their child wins. 

Power Napping - nap when your child naps. Bonus points if you actually wake up feeling refreshed. (Heck. Bonus points if you can actually fall asleep before they wake up)

What can you add? I feel like I can keep going but the child has just awoken angel from his nap. 

Re: Motherhood Olympics

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  • The Walk and Sway: Walk and sway while shushing your baby to sleep. Avoid creaking floor boards and be sure your phone is on silent. Bonus points if you can get everyone else in the house to STFU. The is the Baby Calm Enough to Rock in the Rocking Chair: You've done the Bob and Walk, were able to successfully tradition to the Walk and Sway, but is the baby asleep enough to let you rock them? You better be sure because if not you're going to have to start all over with the Bob and Walk.
  • The temp check:
    slipping a finger down the baby's back or chest to check body temperature without waking them up. Extra points for successfully doing this in the car seat. And even more bonus points if you can resist checking again 10 minutes later.
  • The Speed Pump:  Pumping enough to get more than 1 oz of milk before your baby wakes from their nap.

    The Blind Grab: Reaching around baby's bassinet to find their soother and pop it back in their mouth before their peeping turns into full fledged crying and they wake up.  Extra points for retrieving it after they spit it 3 feet away from their bed.



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Noise challenge: how loud can you be before your baby wakes up? (Amazingly, LO just slept through the smoke detector going off right outside his door.... Which is incredibly dumb-founding since he wouldn't sleep last night to save my life)
  • The Nighttime Walk Away- put sleeping baby down in the crib, turn out the light, and tiptoe out of the room in the dark while avoiding all creaky floor boards, furniture and noisy toys on the floor and or waking up sleeping baby. Disqualification for cursing when you stub your toe on the dresser.

    The Quickie - put down sleeping baby and sneak into bedroom with hubby for a quickie before baby wakes up again.  

    Binkie Toss - performing a one-handed catch when your husband tosses the binkie to you from across the room when baby is screaming.
  • Binkie Toss - performing a one-handed catch when your husband tosses the binkie to you from across the room when baby is screaming.
    A variation on the Binkie Toss would be to catch the binkie after baby accidentally (or on purpose) rips the binkie from their mouth and throws it to the ground. 
    If there's something strange underneath the hood.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  If there's something weird and it don't look good.  Who you gonna call?  Your Doctor.  Immediately.  If it's new, painful, and possibly pregnancy related get your ass off the internet and call your doctor.  It's for your health and your child's. 




  • It I'd not until you get to work that you realize you have spit up on your shirt, and you have no spare shirt. You must spend the next 8 hours strategically try to hide thr spit up from anyone who matters. You are disqualified if someone notices spit up.
  • gipfish said:
    The Just Relax: Give the baby to DH (level 1) or MIL (level 2) and resist the urge to address your baby when he/she fusses. Last one to snatch their baby back wins.
    I wish I could have "loved" this post twice!
  • Keep the baby calm: do as much as you can to keep your grumpy baby from screaming his head off. Person who keeps their kids calm the longest wins. 
  • The Pump and Rock- get through a full pumping session while managing to rock baby on top of your pumping bottles on your chest making sure you don't rock to slow and make them cry but not too fast to lose your milk bottles or spill. With this task you also must be prepared and have everything your LO may need in the next 30 minutes within arms reach. Including paci, bottle, toy diapers wipes etc. Bonus points if you do without a hands free pumping bra!!!!! :smile
  • Paci Pop In- pop a paci in and run. The goal is to go as quickly as you can to get something done (pee, food, etc) and get back before baby spits out the paci and starts screaming. Bonus points for hurdles over the dog sleeping in the hallway, not injuring yourself, carrying on after an injury, and making it back just as the paci comes out. First one to one to successfully complete three of these runs (and actually finish what you're doing) wins. 
  • The Hold - Your baby is mostly asleep when suddenly you feel it, that tickle in your nose. You know you have to sneeze. If you let it out your babe will surely wake and you'll have to start the process all over again. The woman who is able to hold it in the longest wins. Bonus points for letting it out but suppressing it enough that it doesn't wake your baby completely.
  • The pizza lover: Eating pizza while nursing and not dripping pizza grease on yourself or LO! Bonus points for not dropping crumbs!
  • The Hold - Your baby is mostly asleep when suddenly you feel it, that tickle in your nose. You know you have to sneeze. If you let it out your babe will surely wake and you'll have to start the process all over again. The woman who is able to hold it in the longest wins. Bonus points for letting it out but suppressing it enough that it doesn't wake your baby completely.
    Hahaha I do this when I cough! And it ALWAYS seems to happen when she's right before the deep sleep but just enough awake. I try my best to breathe slow through my nose, create saliva and swallow. Anything to prolong my cough. Lol unfortunately I probably would never win this game. I can't manage to hold it in and it startles her everytime! Lol

  • The pizza lover: Eating pizza while nursing and not dripping pizza grease on yourself or LO! Bonus points for not dropping crumbs!
    This just made me hungry. Lol
  • Soothe and drive (another one armed activity): You must calm a screaming baby while driving. Participants will use any method including singing (usually the same songs over and over), talking to baby and reaching to put paci back into baby's screaming mouth (with the other hand on the wheel). Bonus points for getting baby to sleep and being able to continue driving with two hands (rather than one arm stretched to the car seat with hand on paci). First one to keep baby calm until reaching destination wins. 

    Multi-tasking momma: Participants are given a list of tasks to be completed in the day. Multiple rounds include household multi tasking with things like: doing laundry, cleaning and putting away dishes, cleaning the house and making dinner. To keep in spirit of the games, all indoor multi-tasking rounds must be completed either with one hand or wearing baby. Out of the house round includes things like: dentist appointment, pick up dry cleaners, go to the bank, grocery shopping, make a return at local store, etc. (you know all of the stuff that you could easily get done before). Winner complete the most tasks before older sibling needs picked up from school (or home on the bus).  
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