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September 2015 Moms
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Rant/vent/ what ever it can be called. Long....

mel0601mel0601 member
in September 2015 Moms
So I try my best not to be "that" single mum that uses her status as a means to complain about things but I'm tired. And I just need to get this off my chest. 
I have completely lost myself and I have NO time between my 3 year old and my four month old to even put on makeup. Get my hair done, work out! I have put on so much weight and looking at old pictures of myself so so happy and thin (although that's not all that matters) and I just sink deeper and deeper into sadness.
 I try and ignore it because I'm all my babies have to model off and I don't want them to remember me as a miserable soul. But it's starting to take its toll. 
Add to that the stupid Facebook feature "on this day" seems like a self torture method for me to painfully look back on my life that was day by day and can pinpoint the exact moment my life whent to shit... The moment my smile faded... Because of someone else's choices.  
I miss me so much! And I have no idea between bottles, nappies, dinosaur sandwiches and "mum come look at my poop" , how to get me back! 
Heck it was even my birthday earlier this month and I had to tell my son to say happy birthday to me just so I could hear someone say it! 
Ive tried joining mothers groups but literally no one shows up, or i don't have the money to even leave the house, or I'm so swamped in chores and doing everything alone there just is no time. 
I Hope one day I can get over what's happened, i just don't see it happening any time soon
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Re: Rant/vent/ what ever it can be called. Long....

  • jlawson23jlawson23 member
    I can relate. I am a single mom 24, and not sure what normal "Me" looks like. I just keep saying "just keep swimming." "And this too shall pass." Hang in there mama
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  • cait040415cait040415 member
    I'm not a single mom, but I get the feeling of losing "me". So many changes in my life happened so quick and I'm always running, running, running and just don't have the time to prioritize doing the things that are good for just me. This results in extra weight, extra stress, and less identity. I'm so wrapped up in being wife and momma and student and employee and daughter, I feel stretched SO thin. Big hugs, lady. This too shall pass!
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  • caityrosecaityrose member
    Just wanted to offer hugs! Wish I had a useful suggestion. We are here for you! Remember this is not easy and you are doing great 
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  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    Just want to say I can completely commiserate with you on the whole looking back at old photos thing and hardly recognizing yourself! Facebook is the devil when it comes to that ... it keeps showing me photos of myself three years ago right before my wedding, the thinnest I'd been in a long time. I slowly gained weight since then, and then of course gained more during pregnancy, so I have a good 15 lbs to get back to pre-pregnancy weight and another 15 to get back to where I was three years ago. Yes, in the grand scheme of things it shouldn't matter and my happiness isn't based solely on that, but I know I would definitely feel better if I could back to some semblance of my former self! And just to rub it in, just had to renew my driver's license and get a new photo ... the double-chin thing may be cute on my little chunky dude, but it sure isn't on me!

    I can only imagine how tough it is for all you single mommas ... I'm married and still feel like I struggle to find time to just be "me" again. I wouldn't trade motherhood or my little guy for anything, but it would be nice to have some "me" time!
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  • barrelocarolbarrelocarol member
    You're doing the right thing by talking about it. You've got a world of support here. Reach out and PM someone. Odds are, whomever you reach out to probably feels the same way. 

    Youre doing great, Mama! We're all looking for our groove...we'll get there. 
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  • mel0601mel0601 member
    Thanks ladies. It's just so tough going from the life I always wanted to the one I have now and it was completely of my control.
     Even having a c section and from the get go having to just get in and get stuff done, no matter how sore I was. How I wish I had someone to pass me the remote so I didn't have to get up for the 80th time or hold the baby so I could shave my legs without rushing lol
     I'm so so thankful for my babies though! One smile from them and I'm instantly lifted! 
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    edited January 2016
    I'm not a single mom but I feel the same way you do. I no longer leave the house so I stay in baggy shirts and leggings. Not a drop of making. My hair stays in a messy bun and I haven't touched up my roots in months. I do hair and makeup professionally but you would never know. I don't have the time to do people's hair and makeup anymore so I don't even get to use my "sanctuary" (aka my at home salon) in my apartment. I never feel pretty and when I have to go to the store I've gotten to the point where it's just like "what's the point of getting ready?"
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  • mamadeezmamadeez member
    I'm so sorry you've lost the idea of yourself. Losing that can make any hard circumstance harder. I'm not a single mom, and I only have the one kiddo, so what you do every day amazes me. I am in awe of who you are right now. I am proud of what you are accomplishing. 
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  • mel0601mel0601 member
    mamadeez said:
    I'm so sorry you've lost the idea of yourself. Losing that can make any hard circumstance harder. I'm not a single mom, and I only have the one kiddo, so what you do every day amazes me. I am in awe of who you are right now. I am proud of what you are accomplishing. 
    Thankyou so much. ❤️
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  • mel0601mel0601 member
    chelseajeanene said:
    I'm not a single mom but I feel the same way you do. I no longer leave the house so I stay in baggy shirts and leggings. Not a drop of making. My hair stays in a messy bun and I haven't touched up my roots in months. I do hair and makeup professionally but you would never know. I don't have the time to do people's hair and makeup anymore so I don't even get to use my "sanctuary" (aka my at home salon) in my apartment. I never feel pretty and when I have to go to the store I've gotten to the point where it's just like "what's the point of getting ready?"
    Yes! I feel like we are so similar! I was an early education teacher studying to become a mobile makeup artist and in talks with a hair dresser to combine. Then everything fell apart. I miss everything! Add to the weight gain but even doing my hair and makeup everyday was my happiness. Now I'm like my kids are the only ones that are me. What even is the point! its amazing the small things we used to do every day really did define our happiness! 
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  • chelseajeanenechelseajeanene member
    @mel0601 yes! It's crazy that my happiness really was a good hair day and if my winged liner was on point! Now it's all baby smiles lol 
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  • stacies831stacies831 member
    edited January 2016
    First off happy belated birthday  :)<3 second I know exactly how you feel. Been a mum since I was 16 im now 33 next month and don't know anything else except being mum, wish there was a little more to me. The weight I have put on is disgusting I literally can not look at myself but there is a silver lining when the kids get a bit older they get a bit more independent you get time for yourself. Just don't do a me wait till your youngest at the time is 9 and start all over again lol have a 16 12 3 years  and 4 month old. Honestly tho it does get easier I promise xx
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  • kmcshane0211kmcshane0211 member
    This makes me tear up. It's posts like this that make me want to get your contact info and send you a self care box! If I could package up (and afford!) a nanny, chef and gift card for a salon I would do it. This shit is hard. I definitely struggle too. 

    Maybe a Bump mom lives near you? You need a friend. 


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  • mel0601mel0601 member
    edited January 2016
    kmcshane0211 said:
    This makes me tear up. It's posts like this that make me want to get your contact info and send you a self care box! If I could package up (and afford!) a nanny, chef and gift card for a salon I would do it. This shit is hard. I definitely struggle too. 

    Maybe a Bump mom lives near you? You need a friend. 


    Oh! You are so sweet! I feel like I'm the only Aussie bumpier on here! And i do miss having friends. I had to move so far away from them all and I miss them dearly!
    i try not complain about it as I am still so blessed I just wish I had someone to share the load with and talk to sometimes. 
    edit to add: thank you so much for your love and kindness! 
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