Should I tell my Mom?

kosmo86 · January 2016

I know it sounds like a no-brainer but.....
I will be going to lunch with my mom on Saturday with my grandparents and then Sunday I am going with her to Disney World for the day. I don't think I will be able to hide it since I have had quite a bit of morning sickness and moodiness. The issue is my mom is the worst at keeping secrets. Especially since she will be so excited for us. I am an only child and this will be her first grandchild. I really don't want all of her friends/coworkers to know but I am really unsure she can keep it to her self. I know she will want to shout it from the roof tops. I am really torn, not sure what to do.

Any advice on how to tell her to make sure she doesn't tell anyone? Should I just try to hide it longer?

noelani42 · January 2016

This is tough but it will be really hard to hide it from her when you can't go on half the rides at Disneyworld!! I would just tell her and let her know how important to you it is that she keeps it to herself...hopefully she is able to keep it secret...maybe tell her she can tell 1 person?

AnnaS930 · January 2016

Does she expect you to be going on rides? Because that alone will give away that something is going on if you decline most of them.

I think it's reasonable to tell her if you want to. If your only reason for not telling her is that you're afraid she will blab then just tell her exactly why you don't want the rest of the world to know. Explain you fears or superstitions or whatever it is that makes it your own information. Maybe emphasize that you really want to enjoy some time of only you and those absolutely closest to you knowing... make her feel really special for knowing, and give her an idea of when you'll be ready to go public. My mom wasn't pleased to keep quiet about my sister's pregnancy, but by the time I was pregnant a couple years later she understood and was respectful of both of our wishes.

Sometimes when you tell a mom you don't want others to know in case something goes wrong - they panic. They assume you know something that you're not telling them that indicates something to go wrong. Just reassure her, you might be really happy she knows.

jhems776 · January 2016

I told my mom after a few days and she sounds like your mom. She got soooo excited and kept saying she is a grandma and I would say not yet. She will need someone to talk about it with so I told her the person she could tell (her BFF/my godmom) and the list of do not break and tell these people. I also said I really don't care if she tells work people as I don't know them and I don't think they would recognize me if they saw me. I felt bad with the extreme no no of her sisters. My aunts are nice and all but for too long to type I would never want them to know if it didn't work out. I would have waited but I need my mom.

kosmo86 · January 2016

We are only going to Magic Kingdom and she is not a thrill ride person. We mostly only go on the slow rides(which are safe while KU). I don't think that part will be hard.

I might tell her she can only tell her boss. She has worked for the same company for over 20 years so i know pretty much everyone there and she really doesn't have a best friend but she has many many close friends. I just know that no matter what I tell her, she just wont be able to not tell anyone. It doesn't matter how important it is to me, she is just not capable.

I guess I will just play it by ear....

AnnaS930 · January 2016

If you know she can't keep it to herself, then I'd try to keep it from her a bit longer until it doesn't matter to you if she blabs. Doesn't seem like it's worth the headache if you can hold it in a bit longer!

erinmarie86 · January 2016

I'd wait to see if she says anything or notices a change...If she doesn't ask, I wouldn't tell....My MIL sounds similar to your mom, and she knows we are trying, and she stays with us 3 days a week. it's been difficult to keep it from her especially because i'm pretty nauseous and not really eating dinner. But she has yet to bring it up or ask. So i'm not saying anything just yet. I also haven't had my first doc appointment/scan so I'd like to try and wait till at least then.

kosmo86 · January 2016

My first scan is tomorrow @ 7 weeks 1 day so maybe that will help me decide too

jamielcall · January 2016

I vote tell her!! I waited to tell my mom on my last pregnancy and once I did she passed away 2 months later. Never miss an opportunity with your mom, cherish every moment you have with her and love her every flaw. She is your mother tell her everything!!

JennM205 · January 2016

Trust your gut and you can't go wrong. See how your scan goes tomorrow (GOOD LUCK!!) and how you're feeling afterwards. As PPs have suggested, if you'd still rather not say anything, do your best to keep your secret and only share if she really presses it. On the other hand, though, if you're ready to tell her, do it! I especially like the idea of giving her a list of people you specifically DON'T want her to tell...gives her an opportunity to spread her excitement but not ruin it for you by telling someone you would have wanted to tell yourself. I told my Mom I was pregnant way sooner this time around - not because I was really ready but because it was the holidays and I didn't want her unintentionally outing me in front of my entire extended family. As far as I know, my secret is still safe.

KimmySchmidt · January 2016

If it were my mom, and I wasn't expected to go on rides anyway, I would not tell.

My mom doesn't take directives well and "Don't tell anybody" means nothing to her. You know your mom best. If you want to tell her and you think she'll take you seriously if you express how important it is that she doesn't share, then tell her. If you don't think she can handle it, don't.

erinmarie86 · January 2016

I've also been in the position to have to retract my statement...which was actually really hard to tell my mom that news. Personally, i'll be waiting until i'm at least 10+ weeks if not through the first tri.

Kimmy717 · January 2016

I would tell her. She will of course be really excited but youll probably feel better once you tell her. My mom was kind of the same way. This is her first grandbaby and shes really excited but i was super nervous about telling her i was PG. I wasnt sure what shed do. lol. She might have told her family by now, not sure but oh well i guess! But i feel much better that she knows and now she can help me and tell me things that will happen during the pregnancy. If you mention you dont want everyone to know yet she should respect your wishes at least!

SarahDarah333 · January 2016

kosmo86 I'm dealing with the same thing. I think once you've had your scan it's okay to tell her. I always stop and have a glass of wine with my mom at least once a week, so I've already had to lie to her (good old antibiotic excuse), and I feel awful. Since then I avoid seeing her later in the day, and I hate it. My mom and I are super close, and it's so hard not telling her. I want to share the experience with her. I'm the oldest of her four daughters, so she is going to go absolutely crazy. She has been bugging me since my 25th birthday when I met DH. Every birthday was a phone call "You're biological clock is ticking... oh and Happy Birthday!" Just like your mom, mine will want to shout it from the rooftops, and she's bad at secrets too, most of the time. Our first scan is Feb 10th, so I decided if I can hold off till then, I will tell her Valentine's Day in some cute way, and maybe my aunt as well (her only sister, who I know I can trust). One of my sisters knows too, so that gives her two people to talk about it with. Other than that I'm asking her to keep it quiet, and placing a full on ban on anything being posted on social media. I'll tell everyone else on Mother's Day, when we are all together to do our annual Mother's Day walk/run at the local park. Let us know how you make out!

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