Dealing with insensitive friends

1stMommaD915 · January 2016

So my husband's best friend recently told him that he and his girlfriend chose to have an abortion.
He told him this knowing that we recently had a miscarriage after years of trying to get pregnant.
Why would someone choose to tell us about this? He knows how badly we want a child, to start growing our family, how upset we were after our loss. Why tell us about this?
We are feeling so hurt by this news. He already has 2 young children with his ex and illegitimate twins with some random woman.
It's like he's throwing it in our faces how easily he can impregnate someone and how simple it is for them to choose abortion because they can get pregnant so quick. A direct quote from him "I don't know what it is, I guess I must have super sperm!"
Not something you need to be throwing in our faces, especially when I know that I am the one with the fertility issues and not my husband. Way to make us feel like shit when we already feel so horrible about our loss(in November)and just now starting to try again.
Has anyone else have this happen to them?

mrandmrssmith007 · January 2016

Wow!! How can people be so insensitive. I probably would have punched him in the groin..lol!! My brother-in-law (who has a 1 y/o) has said to us a couple of time.."Here, you guys want kids so bad, take her." when she is throwing a temper tantrum. It makes my blood boil. This is minor compared to what you went through but I totally get it.

kayham12 · January 2016

I'm so sorry to hear this. I can't imagine how this made your husband feel, it is understandably very painful for you. I have been worrying a lot about my husband because I feel like he hasn't been able to process his grief because he's taking care of me and our daughter. I have had several friends with loss and I have always been careful to not complain about my toddler in front of them because I know how they would give anything to get up in the middle of the night with a screaming baby. I can't imagine being a parent and telling another parent who has experienced such pain that we didn't want our baby so we aborted it. (This isn't something I believe in, but hypothetically) I would have lost my sh*t on both of them.

I would like to wish you the best of luck in your journey to get your rainbow baby.

ThePax89 · January 2016

I'd lose my shit. What dicks.

Excuse my language...I'm grieving and this stuff pisses me off. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this on top of coping with your loss.

RiverSong15 · January 2016

I'm so sorry you're hurting. When I hear things like this, I try to remember that other people's situations have no bearing on my own, and vice versa. While i very much want a baby, that is not the case for everyone else (nor should it have to be). I agree the timing is poor, but I feel like people who are anxious or upset about an unwanted pregnancy need to lean on friends too. That being said, your particular friend sounds like a jerk, particularly for making that super sperm comment.

valleric · January 2016

It just makes me sad. How terribly my husband and I want a baby then others just kill theirs by choice.

rosieo52 · January 2016

Ugh I am so angry for you! I missed carried less than 2 weeks ago. Almost instantly my thoughts on abortion changed. How anyone could do that is beyond me. I literally have an empty feeling and my arms ache to hold a baby. I'm sorry for your loss and hope things become easier for you.

Dealing with insensitive friends

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