How are you making time pass by??

newmomtobeLA · January 2016

Soo...I did something stupid. I went onto the discussion boards for the months before us and there were SOOO many losses. Much more than I expected. This is my first time being pregnant and we were able to get pregnant the first month we tried. I went from being uneasy about getting pregnant to REALLY excited. I guess looking at the other boards made the chance of a loss very real to me. I'm now freaking out about the baby that is growing inside of me. How are you making the weeks go by? I feel like this has been the longest week of my life and I have 7 more until I'm out of the first trimester. I wish I could skip ahead sooooo bad!

Sammyt86 · January 2016

Hi!
This is my first pregnancy and it took my husband and I 1 and a half years to conceive. I am stressing out as well because of the stories that ware e have heard and the losses. I am hoping it gets easier!
I have only know the last three days that I am pregnant and every single work day has dragged. I am happy enough when I get home with my husband and time goes really fast but it's definitely a struggle

von1976 · January 2016

I wish I knew. We are really exited, but I feel like it won't be for real until we hear a heartbeat. We could still suffer a loss after that, but hearing it would make me feel better. I'm living for my next OBGYN appointment.

PCOSbaby · January 2016

This is our first pregnancy too! I found out VERY early {10dpo} and in hindsight I wish I hadn't. We have been trying to conceive for over 1.5 years so I was obsessed with knowing as early as possible.

Since we found out so early, I'm stressing over my beta {hcg} numbers. I am terrified something will happen to my little poppyseed.

To answer your question, I pass the time away focusing on the fact that I'm pregnant and things are progressing well so far. I allow myself to spend hours on Pinterest pinning baby items.

Blonde1817 · January 2016

I'm not sure I have any answers for you, but I can definitely relate! As much as I have loved participating in the TTGP board for the past few months, I think it has been made me more anxious now that I'm pregnant after seeing how common chemical pregnancies and miscarriages are. All I can do is try to take it one day at a time, and try to continue living my life as much as possible! Distract, distract, distract is my motto right now! I found out early at 10DPO, and every day since has felt like an eternity. I'm still only 4 weeks today. I think I'll feel a little bit more confident if I can make it to 5 weeks and be out of the woods for a CP. Not really sure why, but it just feels safer to me.

lilylover27 · January 2016

@octobermom16 I made that mistake too of googling everything (yep I went there) that could go wrong. It is enough to drive anyone crazy! Now instead of symptom spotting like I did when we were TTC I am anti-symptom spotting. I have some cramps last night and totally freaked out but tried not to think about it, so far no spotting or anything (FX that there will be none ever!) so I think that was just normal cramps. I too found out early like a lot of the ladies on here as I was temping and saw my temp staying up. I think all we can do is take it one day at a time and try not to let it rule our lives. Like my DH said he would rather know early to know we are capable of even getting pregnant, which even though it is early we are since that BFP came. Just try to relax, maybe read a good book or binge watch a new show, that is what I have been doing and seems to help occasionally. I understand completely how you feel though!

@PCOSbabyI too am spending a lot of time on Pinterest lately!!
@blonde1817 I feel exactly the same way you do about the 5 weeks. I don't know why but it will make me feel better when it is considered and embryo and not a bunch of cells.

Also may be TMI but am I the only one who checks, and I mean extensively, for spotting when they go to the bathroom? I am so scared I will have some that it is like a habit I must check!

smmatt08 · January 2016

@lilylover27 I've been checking every time I go (which is every 30 minutes!) as well. I am trying to tell myself to relax.

@Blonde1817 I totally agree that as much as I loved the TTGP board, it has made me way more anxious about a miscarriage. I guess in "real life" they aren't talked about as openly whereas the wonderful women on this site are able to share and grieve together (if that makes sense). The friends and family I know who have been pregnant have never mentioned any losses so in a way I always assume it was easy sailing for them

My biggest fear is an ectopic because I only have one ovary and one tube. Until that ultrasound at 10 weeks it is going to be a daily stress.

lilylover27 · January 2016

@smmatt08 at least I am not the only one! Phew!

DanniG79 · January 2016

I've experienced one loss and I never want to live through that again, but essentially it's out of my control. I've lurked on other boards and I'm just grateful that I'm able to get pregnant because so many people struggle in this area. My SO keeps reminding me to let go of the past and enjoy each moment. I also look at the thread regarding the chances of not miscarrying and it makes me feel better. Everyday is closer to 10/3/16.

eanne9812 · January 2016

I, too am cautiously optimistic about the chance of a loss. @DanniG79 made a good point that I'm trying to focus on as well. The chances of having a healthy pregnancy and baby far outweigh the chances of a miscarriage...some 90%! Those are good odds. So, I try and focus on that. Also, each day that goes by where I keep feeling more tired, more cravings, and no spotting (shocking), I'm comforted. I will be 5 weeks tomorrow so I guess that's another milestone.

I do a lot of Pinteresting!! We gotta figure out how to do a nursery in our small house

I'm also trying to do things I enjoy to try to not obsess over stuff; crochet, binge watch something, hit the treadmill, walk the dog, etc. I'm also trying not to fight the desire to nap. I have a hard enough time sleeping as it is (even before being pregnant) and don't really fall asleep when "napping" but I'll lay down anyway.

@lilylover27 your DH and mine think very much alike in that respect!

PCOSbaby · January 2016

@smmatt08 We have the exact same fear! I only have one tube and ovary as well. I lost my other one three years ago due to ovarian torsion.

smmatt08 · January 2016

@PCOSbaby As truly sorry as I am that we both have that fear because of our situation, I'm glad to have someone to relate to!!! I lost my others 3 years ago also due to a cyst and endometriosis.

lilylover27 · January 2016

@eajanners it is a good way to look at it, I have embraced it as well.

mslove03 · January 2016

I thought I was alone, but it is comforting to know that others have the same fear as me. We have a 2 yr old at home, but prior to him I had miscarried. So, I am very anxious. I find myself retesting to make sure the positive line is still there. I am in school for my masters as well as working full time so I have plenty distractors. Still, I worry. I check my pants, and my tissue every time I go to the bathroom for blood. I just found out Tuesday that we are expecting after being 4 days late. I just told my DH last night. Prayers and fingers crossed for all of us to have a H&H 9 months.

artcheese · January 2016

This is why people need to talk about miscarriages in real life. They happen so so so often, yet we feel ashamed when it happens to us. It's ridiculous. So when I had one on Christmas, I let everyone know. And I still will mention it to people, the more and more I do the more and more women are opening up and saying "it happened to me too".

I have a love hate relationship with these boards. I learned SO much from my previous BMB, but I did get to see some really shitty things happen to nice people. I think however, the knowledge out weighed the worry.

WildMama · January 2016

Thanks for starting this thread @octobermom16 and for all the comforting responses so far. This is my first pregnancy as well, and I agree that it's nearly impossible to stop wondering/worrying about whether it will really stick or not. The tension between being excited that one of the best things of my entire life might just have happened, and knowing that that could change at any moment, is really tough some days.

The best way I've found to make peace with it so far is to get all Buddhist about it - as in, try to be as present as possible, and be grateful for every moment. I try to think of this pregnancy as its own, perfect, beautiful thing, regardless of how it turns out. Sort of like how I don't like to refer to any of my past marriages or relationships as "failures," just because they didn't last forever. I say they were successful for as long as they needed to be, and then their time in my life ended and I moved on. Perhaps this pregnancy will only last a few weeks, perhaps it will last nine months and result in our first baby. Either way, I will do my best to declare it "perfect" and "complete," and be grateful for its presence in our lives. Easier said than done I'm sure, but at least it's a mindset goal, and it brings me comfort when I start to mentally spin out. Hope this helps, and may we all have happy, healthy pregnancies!

westcoastfoodie · January 2016

@DanniG79 What you said... My thoughts exactly. Unfortunately you and I are in the same boat as having previous losses. Mine was at 21 weeks and some days I don't think I'll ever stop holding my breath, but then I remember that we can't live our lives in fear. And I want this baby to have all the excitement and happy anticipation as our last. Like you said, another day closer to 10/3/16... we have the same due date!

... and pinterest. Less WebMD for me, SO SO MUCH MORE PINTEREST!

westcoastfoodie · January 2016

Ehhhh.... Also, I know it's early, but I couldn't help myself... I mayyyy have started a registry online already. And by "may have", I mean I did lol. I like to think of it like online shopping without actually buying! Plus you can always take stuff off if you change your mind!

br0co1ii · January 2016

@WildMama that was so wonderfully put. I tend to just think to myself "whatever will be, will be" and just know that it is ultimately out of my control right now.

As for passing the time, luckily work has been crazy busy, and I pretty much just go home, clean up, cook and go to bed because I'm so tired. So that passes time very quickly!

PCOSbaby · January 2016

@Julia70286 I was thinking about doing the same! I'm torn between Amazon and Babies R Us...but that discussion is probably for another thread

par_mach_kai · January 2016

The pregnancy doesn't really feel real to me yet (I am just 3w6d). I try to think that if I have a miscarriage, it was probably because the blastocyst had some chromosomal abnormalities and really was for the best. Of course I don't know how I would feel if it really happened. One good thing out of it all is that I know at least one of my tubes is clear!

newmomtobeLA · January 2016

Love these responses!! I will definitely try to take your approach @WildMama . I will probably be all over pinterest the next couple of weeks and I'm trying to schedule hikes/activities every weekend to get us out of the house. My friend did a weekly countdown shirt that she wore on each adventure. I'm not sure if I will do the shirt buy I like the idea of weekly adventures...

westcoastfoodie · January 2016

@octobermom16 I LOVE that idea of creating a shirt for each week!!! I'm on a budget so maybe I'll make a sign or something to hold up in a picture each week. That's a good way to pass the time!!

SonyaL9 · January 2016

Hi ladies, so excited to join you in this group! Found out yesterday and we are over the moon.
I had a loss in July last year, I was 8 weeks along, it completely broke my heart and unfortunately has made this process more scary than happy which is a shame, but the way I see it is today I'm pregnant and I'll savour everyday like that and hopefully have a happy and healthy 9mths! X

Sammyt86 · January 2016

I had to take 4 tests to just be sure and that's only because I ran out of tests! If I had more I would have taken them.

vanessa11411 · January 2016

I've had two previous losses and I'm trying to just chill and not get too excited. I really got my hopes up on my last pregnancy and that one ended up being a missed MC. I was devestated. This time around, I'm just trying to focus on work and my family. What's really helped me is that it's month end at work and I've been so crazy busy that I haven't been obsessing about my pregnancy. The other thing that's helped me is that we have our vacation on Wednesday with the kiddos. I've been so pumped about it and have been packing and making sure we have everything that we need. We'll be spending a week in Hawaii and a couple of days after we get back is when I have my appointment.

UponAStar16 · January 2016

Hi all. I have to take a step back sometimes and remind myself that, beyond the fact that most of what could go wrong is beyond my control, all I can do is my best. The world sometimes just isn't a kind place so it's helpful to do what we can to be kind to ourselves. Even with my pregnancy last year ending in loss, I remember that I loved being pregnant and I would hate to miss out on that. Sometimes it is hard not to get really excited again and, while I'm trying not to deprive myself of that, I'm also trying not to get carried away planning or dreaming again. Not sure what the solution is but for now really trying to take it day-by-day...Fx for all of us

kateleap · January 2016

We also had a loss this summer (early August/10 weeks) and I thought it would be harder to stay in the moment when I got pregnant again, but so far I'm still in the euphoric stage after BFP. DH and I have also been starting each day with a few minutes of meditation (the Calm app is great!), which had never been my thing but is a really nice habit. FX if/when the anxiety hits I'll be able to focus on the moment and get through. Sending you loving calm vibes too! I figure our rainbow babies will benefit from feeling love and joy while we wait to meet them... xo

kateleap · January 2016

@knottie372737181 Amen!! xo

PrimRoseMama · February 2016

Every day, "I'm pregnant right now! I love this baby."

SnobunnieMel · February 2016

I'm having a lot of fun right now making a big chalkboard every week with what week I'm at, baby size and a tid bit on how I'm feeling to save up for a collage if I make it to to end. This way even if something happens then I will have photos of being happy and something to help remember it by. Got to take my week 5 apple seed picture tonight. The DH loves getting to take the pics and be a part of it some how each week since right now there isn't a lot for him to feel involved with.

katylady09 · February 2016

To be honest, these next 2 months totally SUCK because of all the waiting and anxiety (and sickness), but then it starts to fly and before you know it, you're huge and you want the baby OUT!

I struggle with bad anxiety, and I've had a loss (my very first pregnancy) so I understand how the fear can take hold and paralyze you--believe me. The best thing you can do is just accept that you have no control over the situation but also that your body knows how to do this and billions of women have gone through the first trimester just fine before you. And choose joy! I love to plan and be excited--it takes my mind off the scary what-if's.

Piperella · February 2016

I've been able to distract myself by joining a hundred lularoe facebook groups and shopping for leggings and dresses. I love hunting for the perfect print.