NBR How to unfriend someone in real life? — The Bump
December 2015 Moms

NBR How to unfriend someone in real life?

I have a toxic friend from high school, all she ever does nowadays is complain about everything and talk crap about everyone behind their backs. She came to see the baby when she was a week old and the whole time she was here she complained about her family drama (caused by her). She even talked about how our other friend's kids are ugly. I don't ever want her talking crap about my baby nor do I want that negative energy around. I closed all my social media accounts over a year ago so the only way she can communicate with me is by phone. So I've tried ignoring her but really doesn't get the point. She is so persistent! She has called me a dozen times in the last week, left voicemails and now she keeps texting that she wants to visit and wants me to send photos of the baby.

I hate confrontation so I'd rather avoid telling her directly because she is the type to go off. Also, we have a couple of friends in common so I'll probably have to see her again at some point so I need to keep this peaceful. I just want to lose touch with her! Ignoring her isn't working and she is starting to stress me out by blowing up my phone. WWYD?

Re: NBR How to unfriend someone in real life?

  • Well you have two options.  Answer the phone, but blow her off with responses like " I'll have to think about it " or " I have plans that day."

    or you can be honest with her and tell her that this isn't working for you anymore and feel like you have grown apart. She will ask for details, but you really don't owe her any, just keep repeating that you have grown apart or say you feel uncomfortable as to where the conversation is headed and hang up.  Now you will have to do this knowing she will bad mouth you, especially to mutual friends, but you will have to trust that they will understand.
  • Is it an option to attempt to fix the negativity when she's around you rather than completely cut her off? Maybe too if she realizes she can't talk bad about others around you she won't want to be around you anymore. Just an idea...
  • I was in the exact same situation and kept up the friendship just because of the amount of time we had been friends. I cut her out a few years ago by ignoring calls/emails/texts. It was the best decision. She will never acknowledge what she has done wrong so there was no point in trying to talk things out or give explanations. People like that don't think anything is their fault so don't waste your time.
  • I've been ignoring her for 3 weeks but it's exhausting. She called twice today already! I guess I'll start dishing out the excuses which she'll probably just end up talking about behind my back anyway. Sigh..
  • She already talks about you behind your back! I wouldn't even bother wasting time with excuses. She'll eventually get the hint if you keep ignoring calls.
  • Send this to her  :D
  • rmarie13 said:
    Send this to her  :D
    Love it!
  • I would just address it with her if yoy want to nip it in the bud. Do that and you may have an uncomfortable conversation but will have immediate results.
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