I've been following a lot of different pregnancy boards during my long journey of ttc, but I haven't actually made any posts of my own. However, I just got my bfp a few weeks ago and I'd like to share my story in order to hopefully encourage some of you and also to give glory to God, who I know was the one who made my pregnancy possible. This pregnancy has been an answer to countless prayers and the result of many, many months of disappointment and tears.
So my story began in my teenage years when I first began to notice possible signs of a hormone imbalance. I had extremely irregular, sometimes nonexistent periods among other symptoms. As I entered my early college years my period became much more regular, so I just assumed that everything was okay and that it would be easy for me to have a baby one day. After I got married I began to track my ovulation, and was thrilled to see that I was ovulating every month. When my husband and I decided to start ttc I was diligent about charting my ovulation, timing our intercourse for the days before, during, and after ovulation and then diligently tracking my tww symptoms. I was taking prenatals, eating the corrects foods, exercising, taking supplements to promote optimal fertility, and using sperm friendly lubricants. I was basically in full ttc mode and doing everything I could think of to have a baby a soon as possible, so I was crushed when I realized that conceiving easily just wasn't happening for me. I began to feel depressed, discouraged and pretty helpless about my chances of conceiving. My concern increased when my periods suddenly started to have light bleeding for days before my actual period showed up. This was not normal for me, so I finally decided to face my fears and to see my gynecologist to start some testing.
My gynecologist perfomed blood tests and an ultrasound of my ovaries and uterus. I remember feeling so humbled and discouraged as I sat in the waiting room surrounded my dozens of pregnant women and wondering why I couldn't be one of them. When I finally got my test results they indicated that I had signs of possible PCOS, but that it looked like I was ovulating every month. I was of course so happy to have clinical confirmation that I was definitely ovulating, but if I was ovulating every month why wasn't I conceiving? My gynecologist decided to refer my husband and me to a fertility specialist. Thankfully my husband's test results came back just fine and my initial blood work and ultrasound looked great too. My doctor decided that it was time to do a hysteroscopy to see if she could find a cause of my abnormal bleeding, as well as look at my fallopian tubes to see if there were any blockages. Once my hysteroscopy was performed I had to wait anxiously for 10 days before I got to discuss my results with my doctor. When I finally had my appointment her I was shocked by the results. I learned that I had one fully functioning fallopian tube, but the other seemed to be nonexistent! I had to go for an MRI to confirm that I had a non working fallopian tube, and the MRI results confirmed that I had a non-communicating rudimentary fallopian tube on my right side. I was given the diagnosis having having a rare condition called a unicornuate uterus. Women with this condition also tend to have a much smaller uterus which further complicates pregnancy. I learned that if I were to do fertility treatments that I would only be able to transfer one embyo at a time, and that if I decided to use Clomid the doctor could decide to stop treatment if my ovaries began to produce too many eggs (this is because having twins or triplets would be too stressful for my small uterus). What's more, I also learned that my chances of having a miscarriage are higher with this condition, and a lot of women with a unicornuate uterus have premature babies delivered via c-section (since unicornuate uterus babies tend to be breeched). My doctor also thought that I was showing a lot of signs of having endometriosis(this is another common condition in women with a unicornuate uterus), and she thought it best that I have a laproscopic procedure done soon to confirm her suspicions. I had already been through so much, and it looked like my chances of having a healthy pregnancy were smaller than I had imagined.
My doctor told me that it is possible to have a natural pregnancy with this condition, but that for some women I could take a very long time for a natural pregnancy to occur. My doctor thought it would be best to start fertility treatments soon. However, my husband and I didn't have the funds to start the treatments, instead we would have to save for months before we could begin our first round of treatments. I was super discouraged, but my husband and I decided to give a natural pregnancy a chance while we worked to save up the money we needed.
This past month was a roller coster ride of emotions. First it seemed like I didn't even ovulate this month, possibly due to stress or getting off of the birth control that I had been prescribed for my hysteroscopy. Second, I began to show every sign of AF's impending arrival... I started to breakout, my cm turned from creamy and lotiony to watery (this is always a certain sign that AF is a few days away for me). I also didn't have any pregnancy symptoms. I didn't have any nausea, sore boobs, increased body temperature, super sense of smell, metallic taste, etc. I ended up have an emotional breakdown the week AF was supposed to arrive. I ended up on my knees, sobbing and begging God to finally answer my prayers for a baby. I told Him that , while I know that I must have faith in spite of my circumstances, I was at the end of my rope emotionally, spiritually and physically. I truly needed a miracle to happen. The next day I had another breakdown when I saw watery, blood tinged cm. I just knew that AF had arrived. However, the next day I had no more bleeding. I continued to have no bleeding for the next week. At this point I knew I was late, but I thought it was probably that I was having an irregular period since I thought I hadn't ovulated.
I finally broke down and bought a pregnancy test, although I jokingly told my husband that every time I buy a pregnancy test my period is never more than a few hours from showing up. My husband asked me to wait until he got home from work to test since he didn't want me to have another breakdown if it was negative. When he finally arrived home I almost didn't test since I had began to see spotting when I when to the restroom. However, I did the test anyway and was shocked to see a bfp! My joy didn't really last long though, since I was really concerned about the bleeding. I called my fertility clinic the next morning and was able to get in immediately. The clinic continued to monitor me closely for the next week and, because of the close monitoring, they noticed a very early drop in my progesterone levels and prescribed me progesterone. The progesterone thankfully stopped the bleeding! I was praying before every blood draw and every ultrasound that God would continue to surprise me by a healthy pregnancy (I was convinced something was wrong since I had early bleeding and absolutely did not feel pregnant at all), and my prayers were answered every time. Each time we went in for an ultrasound the baby had grown more and more. Yesterday we were able to hear and see the baby's heartbeat for the first time! Having to go to a fertility clinic has also been a huge blessing in disguise. Because I was already seeing a fertility specialist, they were willing to get me in at only 5 weeks pregnant to perform extensive blood work and ultrasounds and to monitor me closely. I think I would have had an early miscarriage due to my very early drop in progesterone, had it not been for their close monitoring (every other day) and my Doctor's willingness to prescribe progesterone at the first sign of complications. I'm rejoicing in God at being able to see a heartbeat at 6 weeks and in Him answering my prayers for a miracle this month!
Ladies, if you're struggling to get pregnant, I want to assure you that God can do miracles in your life and that you can become a mommy! The road you travel might not be what you had originally planned, but God cares for you and knows the pain you're going through. I believe that dealing with infertility has led me to be a more compassionate, patient, understanding person than I was before. I've also had the blessing of being able to love my child with all my heart before they were even conceived. I'll always be able to tell my child how much they were wished for, longed for, and prayed for! And I'm sure that all of you will be able to say the same thing to your future babies!!