To tell, or not to tell?

nbc2015 · January 2016

Many of you probably saw my post a few days ago about H looking for a new job, which means I would have to find one, too. Well, some employers move fast.

I work in higher education, and sent off an application on Tuesday for a job that would offer more opportunities for H to find a job (in the geographic area), and would be about 30 minutes away from the rest my family (we currently live about 4 hours away- so that would be a big plus!). Well, the employer contacted me for a Skype interview, which of course I said yes to. The only problem is that the phone interview is usually followed by a campus interview. If I become a finalist, the campus interview would be right around EDD, or very soon thereafter.

So my dilemma is this: do I tell the people on the Skype interview that I'm expecting at the end of the month, or not? We all know that they can't technically discriminate because I'm pregnant (blah blah blah), but we also know it happens. Advice? I guess I'm just worried about canceling myself out by telling them, versus telling them if I become a finalist. The job would be GREAT, and it's exactly what I do. Too perfect for words...now I just have to figure out the baby thing.

Achae · January 2016

I would, there's no way you could make the in person interview around your current "schedule" so it makes sense to me to give them a heads up so it can be arranged post delivery should you become a finalist.

AdventureMama · January 2016

Yes, I think you have to. You won't be able to schedule the in person interview. Hopefully they won't pass you up! Let us know what happens!!

oxsarah7ox · January 2016

I would definitely tell them. Especially since you would have to be careful about when you can do an in person interview. It seems like that interview would be at the end of your pregnancy, so you wouldn't start there until after if they chose you anyway, so there is no harm in letting them know.

SgtLou2 · January 2016

You will need to tell them. There isn't much way to get around this. You cannot guarantee that you'll make it to your due date, so your schedule is kind of a moving target. Also, it sounds like you would have to travel a decent distance for the interview and most OBs don't want you to be more than an hours distance from your hospital in your last few weeks of pregnancy. I think that if they want you as a candidate, they will understand and be accommodating (which will also be an indication as to what type of people they will be to work for... You want to work for people who are family friendly).

g8trkim · January 2016

I think you definitely have to. 1) If you can't attend the interview around a certain time you want them to know it's because you truly can't, not because it's not a priority to you. 2) If you show up super pregnant, even though they shouldn't discriminate, it might annoy them that you failed to mention something pretty important. I'm assuming you wouldn't start the job until a new semester or something, so I don't see why it would be a big deal that you have a baby soon. BTW I'm a teacher and twice my boss has hired pregnant women for the next school year. Good luck with everything! Sounds like a good opportunity!

ashton2190 · January 2016

I would definitely tell them. Not only do you can make sure you don't have issues with going into labor during an in-person interview, but it would also affect your start date. If they want someone to start ASAP and you're planning on staying home for several weeks (even just for your 6-8 week recovery), they need to know when to expect you. They might be able to keep the position open but it's not fair to make them if they are in dire need of someone right away

nbc2015 · January 2016

Thanks, everyone. The position doesn't start until August, so there is definitely plenty of time between LOs birth and the start date, I just worry about having my pregnancy overshadow (or cancel out?) all of the things I've accomplished in my field.

meg+on+the+DL · January 2016

I would tell. Just because you may go into labor at any time and they would need to know why you'd have to reschedule an interview.

I went through a similar thing last summer. I accepted a job in April and found out I was pregnant in June. I called my new boss immediately. She was so great and so excited, even though I'd be leaving half way through the school year. (Thank goodness I work at a Catholic school... they love their babies!)

Plus, if you get overlooked because you are pregnant now and that is something that has no impact on them before you start, do you really want to work there? I'd want somewhere I knew would be supportive when I had another child.

AdventureMama · January 2016

The other reason to tell, IMO, is that if you let them know up front but you're ready with solutions to work around it, that makes you look really good and cooperative. If you keep it a secret until you absolutely can't anymore, they might not like the message that's sending, that you're dishonest (even though you aren't!) or unwilling to be cooperative about work/family balance. Whether that's right or not is another topic, but still something to think about.

Soon2bStaff · January 2016

I probably wouldn't tell them during the skype interview but would if I got an on campus interview. I too work in higher education but I feel like if I thought my skype interview went great, told them, and they didn't call me back, I would second guess being upfront with them about pregnancy. Like you wouldn't have known if you didn't get the on campus interview because there were more qualified candidates or you told them about the pregnancy and they had feelings of uncertainty for your future there. It's obviously catch 22 since if you did get the on campus interview, you would have some explaining to do but I think that like PP said, if you had a plan going into scheduling the on campus interview, it would show that initiative to be proactive in this job search rather than making it seem like it's all planned around the pregnancy. Eh good luck though with whatever you decide!

LIly436 · January 2016

Absolutely not until you have to. I only had bad experiences in similar situations, call me unlucky. If they choose you for the campus interview, then mention it. IT may not even happen until you give birth

VitaLuna · January 2016

I know the usual suggestion is not to say anything, but I think this is a different situation. Since they're not going to be hiring and expecting you to work while pregnant, then I don't think telling them up front would be a detriment like it would if you were due, say, in September.

lilqt3929 · January 2016

nbc2015 said:
Thanks, everyone. The position doesn't start until August, so there is definitely plenty of time between LOs birth and the start date, I just worry about having my pregnancy overshadow (or cancel out?) all of the things I've accomplished in my field.

I'd tell them. If they don't appreciate your honesty of being upfront and support your pregnancy, would you really want to work there? Is it really the prefect place for you? Soon enough you wont be pregnant but then you'll have a baby/toddler/child that you have to care for and that means time off/some flexibility when the situations arise (dr appts, being sick, etc). If you chose not to tell them and then show up 9 months pregnant or even have to beat around the bush about why you couldn't just drop everything for a second interview, that will probably make them question you as a potential employee.

MrsCurlyFries · January 2016

I do a ton of hiring and I'd encourage you to tell them. It helps them to relate to you. It always feels disingenuous to me when an applicant fails to disclose something important and normal about their personal life until late in the interview process or after they're hired. I do work in healthcare though so we tend to be compassionate and put an emphasis on relationships so it could be different in your field. Good luck, the August start date sounds great! I'm hoping for a change around then too

Erinka · January 2016

You should tell them if you get a call back. Your first interview should focus on what you bring to their organization. And do not feel guilty about job searching & interviewing while pregnant!

name1109 · January 2016

I hope you you went. I interviewed at 38 weeks last time. No need to tell.

name1109 · January 2016

I interviewed at 38 weeks last time. No need to be ashamed or or worried. Good companies hire good people. I got the job offer while I was post giving birth by 6 hours?

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