Flying vs. driving with a newborn?

dtaded13 · January 2016

Which is the lesser of the two evils? DH's dad is going to be dying within days/few weeks and we are trying to figure out what we will do regarding the funeral. Thank goodness DH flew out to say his goodbyes last weekend. Anyway, they live 12hrs away. Flying there is pretty costly, and we'd also need a rental car, though we should have our tax return soon. Germs on a plane/airport kinda freak me out. I'm planning on nursing which I've never done. DD was formula fed. I'm a very private person and the thought of me trying to figure out nursing (first few weeks are hard, right?) while on a plane/at an airport freaks me out.
On the other hand, driving 12 plus hours with DD who absolutely hates sitting in the car- movies don't help- and a newborn needing to eat every two hours sounds miserable! Compared to a 2 hr flight... So... If it were you, what would you do? Or have you done either? I could stay home if needed but I really want to be there to support DH and MIL is looking forward to meeting DS.

Lindsaym5! · January 2016

That's a tough decision! The only thing I can say is that everything I have taken my son on a plane he has ended up sick when we got home. Could have been a coincidence but it makes me rethink flying with a newborn now.

charliegoldengirl · January 2016

I would fly - I do agree on being freaked by the germ factor but if you are breastfeeding, that will help tremendously ! Sit in the window seat and no one will know you're nursing. It does take some practice to nurse with a cover, but I found nursing on an airplane to be pretty discreet because people can't really see you unless they are sitting next to you. I also really hate putting my toddler through long car trips and it doesn't bother some people, but that's why I would fly if it were me. Good luck! I'm sorry for your family's loss...

egraves4 · January 2016

Plus there are so many good resources for flying with babes! It just seems like the lesser of two evils honestly.

thisusername · January 2016

I would fly, but make sure you talk to your doctor first to be safe. Make sure they're okay with it.

ARogers26 · January 2016

I have flown several times with my son who is 18 months now. I breastfed. I used a carrier so that he didn't touch much. And I carried a blanket to tuck myself into the window seat and nurse. We live in Indianapolis. He has been to Phoenix, Virginia beach and St. Louis. Phoenix was a 4 hr flight when he was 9 months. Virginia beach is 2 hrs he was 7 months. I say fly if you can. For sanity sake.

Latina211508 · January 2016

I would chose flying.

ARogers26 · January 2016

Side note. I also lost my FIL right after my son was born. His funeral was in my sons 1 month. What stress. My heart goes out to you and your hubs.

MississippiCatfish · January 2016

I'm so sorry you're going through this:( I would also fly. Anything to reduce the time that the toddler is confined - 12 hours in a car is really tough. The airport time will be stressful for you guys, but exciting for her, which is a bonus!

I've had really good luck babywearing through the airport to have hands free (I'm not a huge baby wearer, so I'm not just saying it - it's a situation where it really helps!). I'm also a little bit on the shy side about nursing on public, and I've had good luck finding secluded seats while waiting in the terminal where my back is basically to everyone and no one even knows:) we flew 4-5 times in my oldest's first year, and I can only remember one time when I had to nurse in a spot where I was sitting pretty close to someone.

dtaded13 · January 2016

Thanks ladies for the advice. It looks like flying is probably the best choice.

VitaLuna · January 2016

I would add that you're looking at a 2 day trip if driving, so that's something to consider, too. You can expect to double your normal drive time if traveling with a toddler and infant.

I also have a 2.5yr old car seat hater, so that would sway my decision. But.. finances are a big deal, and only you know what is reasonable for you financially at this point. If money was pretty tight, I'd opt to drive.

lbart86 · January 2016

Given the 2 options, I'd fly. Is borrowing or renting an RV an option for you? Maybe even a small one, enough so that you can nurse while DH is driving and your toddler can move around a bit. Just a thought.

Mamacat316 · January 2016

Fly! Flying with a newborn is super easy - just make sure to nurse during takeoff and landing to keep their ears from popping.

bcj0216 · January 2016

Im not a germaphobe but i certainly wouldnt fly. I traveled 9 months pregnant with a 2 year old to nc from tx for christmas and that ALONE was miserable (not to mention the flight was only 2.5 hours long)

Id drive. Travel at night while youngest could sleep most of the trip. Then make frequent stops as needed when they wake. Id also try pumping. That should help with your nursing worries on the trip. Stress can really reduce your milk supply (at least it does drastically with mine) so pumping before hand and having a small supply will also help aleviate some of that stress.

Honestly. Flying is stressful. Its packing EVERYTHING for 2 kiddos. Plus yourself. Plus your husband. Checking bags. Carseats. Stroller. Pac n play if taking with you. Toys. Pumps. Gadgets and gizmos to occupy your oldest.... Then waiting too get ALL that stuff on the other end... Its a hassel.

Im sorry to be the pessimistic one of the chat but driving sounds like a WAY better option. IMO

Monkeybutt80 · January 2016

Id fly. I flew several times from va to Florida ( about 2 hours) while my first was 3 months to a year old. Packing is the worst part, but flying itself was super easy. I wore him through the airport and the security didn't ask me to take him out of my carrier. We also brought the stroller to put our carry on diaper bag and just in case. We gate checked it and it was easy, though I'm not sure if it was really necessary to bring.

On the other hand, driving just 4 hours with my first while he was a baby was just dreadful. You can't take him out of the car seat to calm him or hold him like you would on a plane. So between nursing, diaper changes and calming him, a normal 4 hr drive would turn into a 6 hour drive.

Nursing on the plane was surprisingly easy and very discreet even though I didn't/ couldn't use my cover. Get a window seat. He slept most of the time and was easy. Also, you may or May not have a difficult time with nursing the first few weeks. I know reading these forums make it seem like it may be difficult, but I had no issues with nursing in the beginning. I had issues 6 months later when my supply started dropping but the beginning went smoothly. So you may not have any difficulties with nursing.

SgtLou2 · January 2016

I did longish car rides with DD starting at about 5 weeks and flew with her starting at 6 months. For car rides, I got a car adapter for my pump and I would pump while DH drove. I pumped about 20 minutes before I expected DD to be hungry. This way, when she woke and was hungry, DH would pull over so that I could jump in the backseat and bottle feed her while he kept driving (so that we did not have to stop to BF every 2-3 hours). It saved us time (sometimes we would have to change a diaper first, but having a fresh bottle of BM was a great way for us to keep moving). When we flew, DD was great. And we flew on our first trip in 5 legs/flights over one week. VA to western CO w/ a connection, then western CO to southern CA w/ a connection with a red eye back to VA. We tried to time our flights with sleeping time (which is easier with a 6mo old's schedule), but either way, she did well. I definitely nursed her during takeoff and desent. I also got the window or center seat to try to be more discrete, but too bad if people don't like it. At 9mo old we flew with her again to western CO, she didn't do as well, but that is because we sat on the plane at the gate for over an hour before moving. Every toddler was melting down b/c every parent took that flight because it was a nap time. The kids all fell asleep as soon as the plane took off. So, you can make either work, it's based on your comfort and the timing of your travels. But definitely try not to stress about it... It will all work out. (And I agree about trying to drive at night for the toddlers sake if you drive... That's what we do with DD now).

g8trkim · January 2016

Ugh that's tough! I despise road trips but flying with a newborn during flu season is risky. Plus, managing two little ones may be really tough. We flew when the kids were 1 and 4 and it was fine, but they needed constant entertainment. The newborn would be pretty easy on a plane because if they get fussy you can probably just nurse/give a bottle but the germ factor would worry me. Even though it's long, I would take the flexibility of driving. You can stop when you need, you can put as much crap as you want in the car, and you have a vehicle with you when you get there.

Karen249 · January 2016

I'm sorry for you both. Never an easy time to go through this but especially with a new baby. I would absolutely say fly. I know the cost is tough but with the time it takes, the stress of having a child already who hates being in the car and needing to breastfeed a bunch through the ride, sometimes the cost isn't that much cheaper. Plus you both might be emotional and not want to drive. Also, If you stop for multiple meals or a place to sleep, the cost could add up there too. Maybe a family member or a friend of your husbands could pick you up at the airport and eliminate the need for a rental? But I wouldn't worry too much about your LO on the plane. Maybe talk to your pediatrician and get their thoughts. But my choice would be to get there and get home. Good luck with whatever you decide.

mshukh · January 2016

Another one for flying. My kid only got sick once (in 10 flights) after being on a plane and that was after we got done nursing. He was 2.5 years old at the time.

Edited: to say that I'm a lurker from March.

cMichelle0423 · January 2016

My only issue with flying is thinking about all the germs lol I'm not a germaphobe but I can be when it comes to a brand new baby.

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