What to pay my mother to babysit.

MarvelousThings · November 2015

So my mom is moving closer to is to be near her new first granddaughter. We worked out a deal that I would pay her to watch my daughter 2 days a week, and then she would find another part time job to pay her bills.
But she fell into an awesome situation where her apartment is attached to a house with an older lady... And the owners are letting my mom live in the apartment rent free, but are also paying her more than what I bring home to keep an eye on this older lady... (Cook for her, do her laundry, keep her company).
We had originally agreed to $10 an hour... Which would come out to like $640 a month... To watch my daughter only 2 days a week. It seemed like a lot in the first place, but this was when she was worrying about paying rent and finding another job... Now that she isn't paying rent and pretty much making more than me... I don't want to pay her as much.
Don't get me wrong... I will pay her... I just don't know what's fair.

Any help or suggestions are greatly appreciated!!!! Thank you.

tracij12 · November 2015

With DD1, my MIL came and stayed with us for about 6 months. We paid her $100/wk to watch her 5 days. When she went back home my mom took over until she was 1 year and we paid the same. At 1 year we transitioned to 3 days at "school" and 2 days with my mom. At that point my mom would no longer take money from us b/c she didn't need it and in her mind 2 days/week was her grandma time. FWIW, I also had to practically force my mom to take the money when she had her full time.

I definitely think what you worked out is too much, maybe offer her somewhere between $80-$100/week and see what she says.

mhwood · November 2015

Find out what nannies or day cares in your area charge per day, and base it off of that.

For example, I pay $40 per day for care that goes from 8:30-4:30. My daughter is provided 2 snacks and 1 meal per day plus milk and water to drink.

2-Step · January 2016

I think it depends on whether you expect her to do cleaning, cooking and other household things while she is at your house. If not, I would go with a basic daycare rate maybe with a little mom discount so $30-40 per day. If you want her to help with household tasks I would up it by $5-$10 per day.

wintersong · January 2016

I attempted to pay my mom what a nanny would be paid, at least on the low end, $10 an hour. She flat out refused. She finally let mine pay her student loans every month since she can't get another job while watching my bub. I work half time (20 hours/week) and she gets paid $500 per month.

If I could make her take more I would. I feel weird that she watches my son and does my dishes every day for a pittance. It feels like I am taking advantage of her. But she it's always saying she feels guilty for taking money for watching her own grandson.

It all depends what your relationship with your mom is. I mean, you already came to an agreement....

mamamadelyn · January 2016

The agreement you have with your mother shouldn't have had anything to do with her financial situation. Mixing money and family is tough...but it sounds like you agreed to it already.

Would you pay a nanny $10 to care for your child? $10 is on the low end...so you might actually be making out cheap AND you don't have to deal with the hassle of searching for nanny, daycare, etc. I assume you trust your mom with your child, so you also won't have those initial trust issues you might have with a nanny or daycare.

ebk1020 · March 2017

My mom has run a daycare out of her home since I was two and my little one is with her. She charges $150 a week(no I am not getting a discounted rate). Assuming 4 weeks to a month is approximately $600 a month for 5 days of care a week. I definitely think you are overpaying and may need to look elsewhere for care if you cannot afford the agreed upon rate any longer.

mintea · September 2017

My mom moved to my city to watch DD#1 when she was a baby. I don't remember what we paid her but it was certainly far below market rate and I do remember feeling uncomfortable about mixing family and money. It created a lot of stress between us and she moved away 6 months in, a mutual decision.

rms924 · December 2017

We paid my mom a flat 1200/month. We didn’t have any set agreement but wanted to be fair since in our area, nannies make 25/hr or so. We also paid her a Xmas bonus of 2000 and since she lived with us during the week, room/board/and “spending” money for when she would take my son out.

I wish i coukd could tell you it worked out but it didn’t.

A few months into the arrangement, my mom started making mention of all the nannies she would meet and how much they make. At that point, I was ready to put Ds in daycare so that we could get out of this arrangement (she was very passive aggressive and emotionally abusive) but she didn’t want to stop watching ds. It was horrible - she was getting more resentful and so was I. Long story short, I don’t have a relationship w her today (my decision) because of what we went through dealing with her.

Bottom line: if you can help it, it’s best not to mix family and money. If you have the type of mom that’s going to help in exchange for the pleasure of helping and you can do nice things for her (gift certificates etc) than do it. But if it’s more of an arrangement, it can really cause a lot of drama.

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