Returning To Work After Baby Arrives

MeganF08 · January 2016

I did a search but didn't see the post in our group so forgive me if this is a duplicate. Is anyone else still trying to figure out their work situation for after the baby arrives? I work at a job that I mostly like but the commute is long and I am usually away from the house 13-15 hours per day. This does not seem ideal for when the baby comes but I am also not sure how we would make do without my salary since I am the breadwinner for our family (even though it's by a small margin). Now is the time where we need to either commit to getting on a wait list for a school or to deciding to be a SAHM for at least the first few months and seek a new job after. I just wanted to see who else was still facing this dilemma (or already decided) and hear about their thought process.

Thanks ladies!

mrsschmity · January 2016

We are still deciding as well. I was recently laid off from my job, so my husband is the only one working right now. I have been looking for new employment, but we are contemplating whether it just makes sense for met to hold off on accepting a new position until after baby comes. By the time I get started at a new company (depending on how interviews go/how soon I could get hired) I would only have a few months before I have to take maternity leave.

I hate the idea of living off of one income, but at the same time we would be shelling out that money on daycare anyway. I am having a hard time deciding what would be best though!

Kballew10 · January 2016

My H just got a new job in another city and we are moving. I am planning on quitting my job at the end of my paid maternity leave (a job that I am not happy with anyway) and applying for new ones in the new city. I won't be able to start applying for jobs until a short time before we can get the LO into a daycare so that we would have reliable child care by the time I got hired. This will mean that, depending on their wait lists, I am probably unemployed for at minimum, a few months (hopefully not too long!) while we time everything. We are budgeting so that it is not a huge blow, but I am also the breadwinner (like you, by a small margin).

Overall, it came down to H being happier in the new job (and he got a raise!) and me not liking my current job and potentially being much happier in the (currently nonexistent) new job and being able to financially afford some time on a single income.

ahernandez16 · January 2016

I just hate my job and my boss, period. So I have been dabbling with quitting when I take off for maternity leave and then starting a job hunt fresh a month or so after the baby comes.

I also make more than my husband so if I were to be out of work any longer than the 6 weeks to look for a new job after the baby he would have to get a second job or try and find a better job and that just might put us in a whole other situation. I don't think I have the personality to be a SAHM but I do think my husband has the personality to be a SAHD and I'd love for our child to have a full time, at home parent, so we have also talked about that -- but that would entail me going right back to work. I'm pretty sure I'll be job hunting either way, even if I have to go back to my current job for a little while after the baby is born.

malgal85 · January 2016

Definitely trying to still figure out the logistics. We rely on both our incomes, and it would be a huge struggle to go down to just one (doable, but not ideal and we wouldn't be able to save a THING... Aside from the fact that I adore my job!)

I am banking on being able to bring baby to work with me, and a little stressed about how that will work out. (I work in a theater and make my own hours for the most part, and can work from home as well here and there) I think it will take TONS of adjustment, and won't always work out how I want it to, which is where the stress is coming in! DH has a super flexible schedule too, but I know there will be days where we want to tear out our hair.

I am thankful for the 4 months of partially paid maternity leave, and will happily take every single day they'll give me! I know I will have to learn patience.... And know it will all work out. But the stress creeps up on me from time to time!

Daycare is an option of course, but for personal reasons I would rather have my baby with me or with a babysitter/nanny/friend at home.

AmberLiz99 · January 2016

With my diet I had a really well paying stable job, but I hated it. I also knew I wanted to send my kids to childcare as little as possible. I went back to my FT job when my son was about 12 weeks old. I worked 9 hour days so that I got every other Friday off, and my husband got off the alternate Friday. I also worked from home one day a week, so my son was at a nanny's house 3 days a week about 10 hours each day. I kept it up for 3 months before I found something PT that I could do from home and I quit. Now we are expecting #3 and I still have the same contracting job from home. I make a fraction of what I used to, and we definitely had to adjust our lifestyle, but it's been worth it. Plus we have payed nothing in childcare for the last 4 years. After this baby is a year old I might start looking for new work opportunities or going back to finish my graduate degree. We will see when the time comes.

Everyone has to make the decision that best fits them. It can be so stressful! I had a really hard time deciding the first time around. Good luck!

SoEnamored · January 2016

I just want to throw it out there, don't avoid looking for a new job now just because you are pregnant.

It can work out. The opportunities that are there now probably won't be the same ones that are there later, the practice in looking and interviewing never hurts and bonus if you find a company who wants to invest in you long term and doesn't take issue with the upcoming maternity leave.

purplefan1 · January 2016

I love my job and love the flexibility that I have with it. I'm not sure when I am planning on going back to work but I have talked about picking up hours again about a month after birth. I figured I would start with a few hours each night and possibly pick up some hours on the weekend. I'm trying to avoid day care for awhile so plan to work when husband can be home.

I'm more trying to figure out how to work and breastfeed and avoid nipple confusion and all that other stuff that I have no idea what I'm doing.

Scout27 · January 2016

My H and I have been discussing this too and I think I will likely stay home. I like my job but have a long commute as well. We've looked at the finances and can live off of his salary and still be able to save some so I feel confident we can do it. Aside from the long commute, I also considered things like, how much extra my salary would bring in over the cost of childcare, where I'm at in my current role and the fact that I would likely be looking to move on in early 2017, the fact that we are planning to move out of state next summer and beyond all logistics, I would like to be home with my kids at least for a little while. Once I looked at everything and weighed the options, it seems like staying home is the way to go. Admittedly, it wasn't the easiest decision because I like my job and my coworkers very much and it will take an adjustment to our lifestyle but I think it will be worth it. I'm giving myself a little more time to get used to the idea before committing totally to it but I'd be surprised at this point if I change my mind.

It has been stressful at times and it is a big decision. Good luck!

aloha5736 · January 2016

I work as a nurse so my hours are pretty flexible. I was laid off from my position, and given a temp job. I was sick and exhausted my FMLA, so they give my position away. Don't think I'll have a job to come back too after maternity leave. They are keeping me so I can have the insurance and maternity leave. So I'll be apply for jobs while on maternity leave. Husband has a very demanding job, so plan to just pick up as I want or commit to no more than 20 hours (to keep my benefits).

MsBeachNJ · January 2016

I will be returning to work after a 3 month maternity leave, I am the majority breadwinner by more than 2x over and we could never afford to live on just one salary... that being said, I have no idea what our childcare will be like yet. My inlaws live close and are retired and we are hopeful that they will volunteer for a few days a week, I will try to arrange a 1 day a week work from home, as will my husband... to avoid daycare or nanny costs if at all possible. This would obviously be the ideal arrangement but my in laws could have 0 interest in which case I'll be on care.com interviewing Nannys and I would possibly consider cutting my job back to 4 days a week (80% pay) in order to try and be home with baby. Once our LO is 18 months, they can go to daycare/school at my place of employment... so its really 15 months that we have to figure things out.

RMLandy · January 2016

I think the first thing you have to do is create a monthly budget to see what your expenses are every month vs. income, to determine whether you can even afford not to have that income. If you can, then it's a matter of deciding whether you WANT to stay at home. If you can't afford it, then it's a matter of looking for another job that may better suit your life as a month, or just sticking it out where you are.

For us, I do a budget every month so I knew before I ever got pregnant I'd have to keep working (and that I want to. I enjoy my career!) I'm not a huge fan of my current boss so I've started looking elsewhere to hopefully find something that helps me to enjoy my day more and come home with less stress. And thanks to my trusty monthly budget, I know exactly how much of a pay cut I can afford to take in exchange for a better work environment! Hope that helps!

MeganF08 · January 2016

It is really helpful to see everyone else's thoughts on the issue. It is tough to be so torn.

At my place of employment currently we get 6 weeks of unpaid maternity leave but with STD covering 60% pay. I *think* we could make it a few months without my income but it would be very difficult and I would probably need to find a job within 6 months of having the baby. I am just wondering how leaving my current job will affect me applying for positions at another company. Will they be concerned that I will leave that position too when baby number two arrives? I have never really even considered being a SAHM permanently but I would like to at least be around for my LO's first 6 months instead of being stuck in traffic when she takes her first steps. It is really starting to stress me out trying to decide because I keep going back and forth on the issue.

ahernandez16 · January 2016

@MeganF08 an employer can't ask you if you plan to have more children or even if you have any when they're interviewing you if at all as far as I understand. And as far as for your reason for leaving, if you have a long commute that's a perfectly acceptable reason to leave another job and seek employment elsewhere. If they asked why you left, I'd just blame the commute. BUT that's just me.

Kballew10 · January 2016

I don't work in HR, but when we discussed new hires at my old location, we talked about gaps in resumes and reasons why people quit. In my opinion, a very long commute would cover your reason for leaving your current job without raising suspicion about secretly wanting to stay home with kids.

Also, my SIL reassured me that good child care will NOT tell you if you miss "firsts". According to her, if her daughter took first steps or said first words at daycare, the teachers said nothing to her. As far as they know, those aren't her firsts, so there is no reason to tell Mom and ruin the chance that they might have been. (That was poorly worded, sorry...)

noelietrex · January 2016

*lurking from July* DH and I are trying to figure it out too. Like you, I'm the breadwinner (though it's by almost double at our house so no choice of SAHM), and I have almost an hour commute each way and tend to be gone 10 hours a day. The thing DH and I are trying to work out is staggering for child care. Like I could work 9am-6pm and do drop off in the morning and he would work 6am-4pm and do pick up or vice-versa. He would schedule his overtime for earlier and I'd schedule my extra hours for evenings and weekends... It's still a bit up in the air because we both tend to work more than 40 hours a week, but hiring a nanny for long hours is always an option too (though it'd be pricier and less ideal for us as I'd prefer a more social setting for LO). Let me know if you come up with any awesome/creative solutions!

mrsb8244 · January 2016

I'm not sure how my situation is going to work. H is the breadwinner in our household because I only work part time and I'm in school to be a nurse practitioner full time. I graduate this May and I'm hoping and praying I can take my certification exam before this LO arrives. I plan on applying for jobs starting now because as an NP once you get certified and go through the board of nursing then get hired somewhere you have to get different "certifications" for different insurances so I guess the hiring process can take months. I'm hoping I can keep my current job and work from home after I use my PTO but we will see. If not I have no clue what I'm going to do

26pointrunningfor2 · January 2016

I'm still trying to decide how I'll handle this as well. I'm a full time professor and often am away from the home for 12 hours a day. Because I'm 9-month contract, and due in June when I'm off contract, I'm not eligible for the university's 6 week paid leave. What I really want to do is take off the fall semester and use unpaid FMLA. I'm very fortunate to be in a financial situation where we are able to survive on only my husband's salary. However, I love my job and would love to find a way to balance career with family. I go back and forth between wanting to go back in the fall and quitting all together. The struggle is real!

Knottie95349912 · January 2016

I fully intend on going back to work after baby! We can't afford a one salary home at this time. Both my mom and MIL have offered to watch LO one day a week, and hubby is staying home on Fridays. We'll only do daycare twice a week.
It makes me feel better, but I do wish I could stay at home for a few years!

gauge1234 · January 2016

I am planning to go back to work, and am hoping DH can stay home afterwards for a leave so we can give baby the most parent time.

I make enough to support our household, he doesn't. So taking daycare into consideration the gap on his income is manageable. Plus he's excited at the prospect of being a SAHD for a little bit and the bonding time.

I do need to start looking for daycare and getting on waiting lists asap just in case it doesn't work out (another thing to add to the list)

Kind of off topic but my mom has offered to come stay and be a SAHG (gramma

) for a while but the prospect of living with her is a bit much, but I shouldn't write that option off either, just because of my independent attitude!!

alileecam · January 2016

I basically got fired a few months ago but was able to spin off a new job from clients that I worked with in that job (with my old boss's blessing... that took a lot of careful sucking up and not showing my butthurt over being fired). I now work from home, which is fantastic, but working for myself on a huge contract means that I'll have to return to work practically immediately after I have my second son--which I hope is realistic since I can do the job in pjs at home, sometimes at odd hours. I do have two other people that work with me on the contract who will help me around that time. I also just found out that one of them is also pregnant and due 6 weeks after me--so she'll be out and I'll be doing her work in addition to mine just a few weeks after I give birth. I don't know how it's all going to work out, but I hope we can make it work so we keep that income and I keep the (major) client happy.

SMLmom · January 2016

I'm Canadian, so I realize I get a massive maternity leave compared to many of you and believe me, I don't take it for granted. I still struggled going back after my first. I negotiated going back 4 days a week. I took a big pay cut to do it, but I proved I could do my job in 4 days and got a hearty raise after the first year back. I know this isn't a possibility for many people but it's worth- if you can- trying to be creative and considering part-time arrangements.

MeganF08 · January 2016

I am in what could be a good position with my company. We are in a transition phase and had a new President take over. He is a great guy who has worked there several years and I have a good relationship with him. I mentioned our existing maternity policy to him (6 weeks unpaid less accrued PTO) and he said something to the effect of "We need to do a better job of meeting the national standard". I assume that means the FMLA standards of up to 12 weeks unpaid. My company has not really had to use their maternity policy since most of the women who work there either chose not to have kids or had their children before they began working there so I think the policy has been really more of a placeholder. The new President is reasonable and I could see him asking me what I think the ideal policy would be. That's kind of where I get stuck. I know that 6 weeks is not enough for me personally but I don't know what my best case scenario answer is. 12 weeks unpaid and the option to go part time for 12 additional weeks? 12 weeks unpaid + 12 weeks working from home (but is that realistic with a new baby)?

I know it is a personal decision but for any of you who are still trying to decide or who have decided to not return to work, what kind of maternity package would make you decide (or change your mind) to return?

kayla2536 · January 2016

I'm absolutely going back to work after baby. I believe my boss is going to give me 6 weeks partially paid leave (60% of my salary) but will let me take 12 weeks if I chose.

I LOVE my job and my "full time" is like 25-27 hrs a week, so it's basically part time. I'm very lucky that way, and my job is less than 1 mile from my apartment and even once our house is built it'll only be 5-10 minutes away.

Rosehip15 · January 2016

I have to go back to work, but would want to anyway, at least p/t. That being said.

This is my third. After my first, I went back f/t, working one day a week from home. Had a long commute, and had to travel some. It was tough. After my second, I went back p/t (3 days/week) and decided to make a career change, so after 6 months quit to go to nursing school.

Since being a nurse, I worked in the hospital with 12 hour shifts for 2 years. While it has its perks, as the kids got older, I really needed a more set schedule (plus the weekends & holidays were grueling for me). I've been working in an office for 3.5 years. My commute is 45 minutes plus, depending on traffic. For the first two years I worked 5 days in the office, and I found it extremely difficult. Last year I negotiated (it was hard won) for a flex-time schedule. I now work Tuesday - Friday, but longer days. I'm gone from 7:45 - about 7:00. It's a very long day, but having the extra day off is a big help. I get ahead in cooking, etc., and get a handle on homework for the week.

My current childcare arrangement really can't accommodate a baby, so we'll likely end up with two separate solutions. Hoping to get a in-home daycare, very near by, for three days/week, and my mom can watch the baby one day.

After this baby, I may look for something closer & with better pay. I love my current job - it's unusually interesting & rewarding, but practicality may win out. Remains to be seen.

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