Does anyone else's SO act like they don't want to feel the baby?

pregnantprincessx3 · January 2016

This morning while cuddling in bed, baby was moving like crazy. I asked if he wanted to feel and his response was "I've already felt it.. He probably wants you to leave him alone and stop poking him.". It really hurt my feelings and now I'm worried he isn't even happy about this baby.

khochanadel · January 2016

Mine is kind of like that, too. When I got my home doppler he's never been interested in listening to the heart beats when I do, and when I put his hand on my belly, he just kind of goes with it without getting really excited.

I still know he is ecstatic about being a father and can't wait to hold his babies. I wouldn't put too much stock in his behavior now. He's not the one carrying the babies and feeling everything and getting the influx of hormones you are.

TMI side note: mine has also made it known that he doesn't want to feel babies kick during sex.

gemini2005 · January 2016

My DH is also unenthusiastic about feeling the baby kick. It almost makes him uncomfortable I think. Once our other two were born he was absolutely nuts about them and was highly involved with baby care. I'm hoping it's the same with this one since I'm going to need his help!

TheThornBird · January 2016

I think that's pretty normal, many men don't start feeling really attached or like it's "real" until the baby is born. It's different for us since we have all the hormones running around our bodies, and we feel more bonded to the baby before it's born.

Plus, feeling it move can be kind of weird and creepy at first. For the first few weeks I *hated* feeling the baby move, but now I'm at the point where I enjoy it. Seeing my stomach jump around still freaks me out a bit, ha.

Give him some time; I'm sure he's thrilled about the baby, it just sometimes takes men a little longer to realize "holy shit this is my child!"

Bluejay3030 · January 2016

My H has never been that into feeling kicks or talking to my belly. I'm more okay with it with kid number 2 than I was with kid 1 because I'm not that into it, either. FWIW, he's a fantastic father. Sometimes it just takes dads a little longer to feel connected.

yogahh · January 2016

I was afraid to admit that DH is like this. Last Sunday she kicked me so hard for the first time I told him to put his hand on my stomach. He did for a second, pulled away,and said I felt it. Unmm she didn't kick then, so you didn't feel anything. Last night we cuddled on the couch and he put his hand on my stomach but didn't seem that interested. He said he has plenty of time to feel it?! Honestly, I think it might creep some guys out. It's so foreign, they don't know what to make of it.

pregnantprincessx3 · January 2016

Thank y'all so much! I'm SO glad to know I'm not alone. I know he will be a good daddy, I just wish he acted a little more excited sometimes.

pregnantprincessx3 · January 2016

I definitely think he has pretended to feel it too. I guess it can be a weird feeling.. It was a little weird for me at first. I have just started to feel him more frequently and now I love it! I just figured it would be a good way for him to bond with the baby, since he always asks if he's moving.

lalala2004 · January 2016

I think my DH gets frustrated when he doesn't feel kicks soon. I think he'll be happier about it when the baby is
More active and maybe predictable. My anterior placenta doesn't help, either.

He has also told me not to poke him to try to kick, as he thinks it bothers him. It's just a really foreign thing to men.

maddenmm · January 2016

With DS's pregnancy, my DH would NEVER want to touch my belly and wasn't really into any of the "updates" or anything. He is an awesome dad but like PP said it wasn't "real" for him until.he was holding DS. It's just different for them , but it still really hurt my feelings.

kbrands7 · January 2016

As PP have said, many men just don't feel very connected to the baby until the baby is actually born. I know in the past, it has been frustrating for my DH when he has tried to feel for a kick and I feel it, but he doesn't. Rather than feeling more involved, he feels more left out. Your H may just prefer to show his excitement in other ways.

Pregghers · January 2016

I'm glad you posted this. Just last night I told my husband that pregnancy can be really lonely. He'll put his hand there to feel movement, but his reaction is never as enthusiastic as I feel it should be. I expected it to be more of a shared experience, but he just doesn't get the same amazement from feeling the movement as I do. I just feel a little alone as a result.

JessicaB0627 · January 2016

DH is a little weirded out by the movements. He was the same way with DD and turned out to be an amazing dad. It really bothered me the first time around, but this time I knew what to expect. Like the others have said, he was never "connected" to DD until she was actually here.

Kurrant · January 2016

MH was a bit "meh" about the movements. He would feel when I told him to and would maybe say "oh neat" or "That's almost creepy" when the movements got bigger. Now that the movement is visible he seems mostly interested . . . I guess fascinated is a better word for it. He saw a very large roll yesterday for the first time and at first seemed really weirded out but was overall more excited than previously. I'm not offended by his lack of enthusiasm. He doesn't feel it the same way as I do all day. On the plus side, putting the cot and bassinet together this weekend really kicked his butt into daddy gear! Now he is actually talking about curtains for the nursery and putting a trim up in the room even though we decided to leave it since we will move in a year.

LadySamLady · January 2016

My H does get excited when he feels the baby move but he doesn't feel it very often because he has no patience. He'll put his hand on my belly when I tell him she's moving but pulls it away in just a few seconds if he doesn't feel anything immediately. He feels very awkward talking to the baby but says he does want to and is open to reading to her. To be honest, I feel a bit awkward and silly talking to my belly too so I get it. He also told me that while he is so happy and so excited, the baby still feels very abstract to him. He understands that it's different for me because my life is already effected by her and I interact with her every day but it's just not quite so real to him yet.

AdorkablePixie · January 2016

My DH loves feeling and seeing baby move. Any time he sees me look at my stomach he goes "is he moving?!" He'll watch it with me or put his hand on my stomach without me asking if he wants to. It's really cute.

The other night he said, "He needs to hurry up!" I was like, "what??" He goes, "He needs to hurry up and get here. It's not fair you always get to carry him around and feel him move." I love how excited he is for this.

lisaren · January 2016

I generally wait for him to initiate touching my belly or wanting to feel him move etc... But he smiles and kinda goes back to doing his thing afterwards. I guess it's thecsanecwst when he gets excited about something to do with work and I'm like eh...

Ha!

sarawifenow · January 2016

My H doesn't get super excited about feeling him move, but he does show interest. Lately he has started rubbing my belly on his own when we are out or cuddling on the couch but it used to be like he was afraid to touch it. He does smile really cute when he feels him but doesn't really do much else after that.

swflJD · January 2016

MH has been really excited to feel the baby move, much more so than I was. Even though I was expecting it, it still freaked me out a little when I started feeling kicks and thumps, and maybe that's the way your SO feels. I have been feeling movement for a few weeks now, but nothing discernible from the outside. MH still tries to put his hand on my stomach when I say I can feel a kick or movement, but he hasn't felt anything yet. He's been disappointed that he can't feel it yet. Your SO will probably come around.

Delitachan · January 2016

My husband at first showed reservations and I learned that he was supposed to be a father many years ago (with his then g/f) but she was more concerned about her lifestyle (she was really young) so she aborted, against his wishes. It traumatized him bad. So he was afraid initially because he's finally going to be a father and didn't want to get his hopes up.

Sunshinebins · January 2016

Mine is also in the super impatient camp. He got excited the first time he felt it, and does sometimes catch a jab. But if I say to put his hand there and feel it, he gives all of about 5 seconds before he declares he didn't feel anything and takes his hand away. Sounds like it's pretty common!

PYLWhammy · January 2016

My husband really wants to feel the baby move, but can't yet! Anterior placenta...

cortney626 · January 2016

I agree with the saying "Women become mothers as soon as they're pregnant. Men become fathers once the baby is born." My H isn't as into the pregnancy as I am but it's b/c I feel her everyday. It's just different for us than them. He's felt her a few times. But what he doesn't know is that when he comes home and him and DD#1 are rough housing/ loud, the baby is going crazy. I've been the one doing all the purchases for the baby (not that I expect him to want to help with the nursery decor). But he did come home from the dirt bike shop with pacifiers and a bottle with his dirt bike logo on it. He shows his interest in other ways. A couple times during sex he's kind of rubbed my belly. I thought "Really? During sex? That's when you want to touch my belly!? Can you not!"

jholkema · January 2016

I find every guy is different when it comes to feeling baby kicks. I found out my father never liked to feel my mom's stomach when the babies kicked but he loves all of his children and he's a great father. He just finds the whole pregnancy thing to be alien like.

I find some guys love the feeling and other guys find it freaky. It doesn't mean they're not happy they just aren't experiencing the same things you are.

Don't worry too much about it, I bet when baby is actually here he'll be excited!

bevzuc32 · January 2016

So glad to know that I'm not the only one whose H does not appear that enthusiastic when feeling the baby. It actually freaked him out when I showed that my belly moves when the baby moves. I too feel lonely about it but he promised that he would ease his way into it.

Want a personalized experience?

Does anyone else's SO act like they don't want to feel the baby?

Best Answers

Re: Does anyone else's SO act like they don't want to feel the baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Want a personalized experience?

Does anyone else's SO act like they don't want to feel the baby?

Best Answers

Re: Does anyone else&#039;s SO act like they don&#039;t want to feel the baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Re: Does anyone else's SO act like they don't want to feel the baby?