Summer Vacations

finnybooboo · January 2016

Since we just got dumped with 3 feet of snow this weekend, my mind is on warmer, sunnier, sandier times

My family (husband, kid, mom, sister + kids, 2 aunts, uncles, cousins, several family friends) goes to the beach in June every summer. After finding out we were pregnant, I pretty much counted us out, because the baby will likely only be about a month old when we go but now I'm a little torn (will be starting 6/18). We stay at a motel, but my mom always gets an efficiency room with a sink/stove/fridge, etc, so we would have access to all of those amenities and will likely have the joining room with them.

Positives: We'll have an army of people there to help out, and honestly, if we stay home, we're riding solo since everyone is there, it would give me, especially, a change of scenery, and my daughter will get to have a great vacation with the family.

My concerns: I will likely be in the room a lot of the time breastfeeding, etc, and I'm afraid I'll feel a little resentful of everyone else who gets to go play around at the pool/beach, etc. I could sit on the balcony where I can see them all, but it definitely won't be the same. It's also 3 hours away, and concerned over making a 3 hr trek with a 2.5 year old and a newborn. Will people judge for us taking a 1 month old baby on vacation?!

Is anyone else planning vacations in the early summer?

Merciel · January 2016

We're doing a two-week vacation at the beginning of August, so not early summer, but still "summer."

I truly have no idea what to expect with a small baby on vacation (never done this before!), but we'll have a rental cottage and MIL is planning to come for one of the two weeks, so worst case, at least we won't be bothering any other guests with baby crying/poopy diapers/whatever else, and for half the time we'll have someone around who is able and willing to help (and, unlike me, has some actual experience with this stuff).

Anyway I don't think people will judge you for bringing a baby on vacation. Or if they do, they're sufficiently unreasonable Judgy McJudgersons that I wouldn't worry about their opinions anyhow.

DanandVan · January 2016

We are doing the same thing (same week even!), but staying at a rented beach house (with laundry, yes!) about 2 hr away. I am trying for a vbac but may end up with another csection, so I am not planning too much. I told my extended family they are free to take my other kids along with them and I'll mostly hang out at the house and nurse/nap the newbie. Sounds like a vacation to me! A change of scenery, others to help with cooking /cleaning, and watching my other kids? Fo sho.
Also, we have a sun tent in case I decide to bring the newborn to the beach. We'll see! My advice is just play it by ear, and don't feel badly if you decide to cancel. And remember baby can be born 2 weeks after your due date, so that could change your plans too.

Pascal86 · January 2016

finnybooboo said:

My concerns: I will likely be in the room a lot of the time breastfeeding, etc, and I'm afraid I'll feel a little resentful of everyone else who gets to go play around at the pool/beach, etc. I could sit on the balcony where I can see them all, but it definitely won't be the same. It's also 3 hours away, and concerned over making a 3 hr trek with a 2.5 year old and a newborn. Will people judge for us taking a 1 month old baby on vacation?!

Is anyone else planning vacations in the early summer?

I was just talking to a friend about how I've started noticing that people judge every single little thing that parents do with their kids, and how scared I was to become a parent and be judged all the time. He very candidly said, "that's true, but they'll probably only do it behind your back, so you won't have to hear it." I laughed and said, "great point!" and decided not to worry about it anymore. As long as I don't have to hear about it, let them judge away!

finnybooboo · January 2016

@DanandVan that is what I'm thinking too! An army to help out, why not?! I also have a feeling if we do decide not to go, the family might try to convince us to let them take my DD anyway, and I'm just not comfortable with that. I'd worry the entire time.

I will be having a repeat c-sec, so this baby will be out no later then my due date of 5/13 but likely sooner.

Bluejay3030 · January 2016

We're going on a family vacation to Hawaii at the end of June with my ILs. Baby will be 6 weeks-2 months old. The thing I'm most worried about is baby somehow getting sick in transit or from being introduced to all the new germs from his toddler cousins (or sister for that matter). The 10 hour flight with a nb and a 2.5 yo scares me. Otherwise, MIL will be around to help, and we're staying in a big enough suite that I'll have privacy when I need it.

It's definitely a gamble, and I often find myself questioning the wisdom of what we're doing because those first couple of months are so unpredictable. And I feel like people will judge us for traveling that far with a newborn. But at the end of the day, we're going for it. Last time around, the 2 month mark pp was a pretty bad emotional low for me, so I'm hoping that a change of scenery, time with DH, and extra helping hands will do some good.

JennyS86 · January 2016

Sounds like a vacation from cooking to me!! Sign me up!

We are planning to drive to my parents' mid august with 2yr old twins + baby + 10hr drive! Time to make memories

Jparke2 · January 2016

I have a similar dilemma! My mom and I used to go to the beach every year, and for the past couple years we haven't been able to go. We planned to go this year, and now I'm pregnant and just assumed we wouldn't go. She is still 100% for it, as she took all of her babies to the beach when they were little. It'll likely just be the two of us, so I know I won't be missing out on lots of fun stuff because she'll be helping me the whole time, but I can't get past thinking that it just might be too soon! I also don't think my husband will want to go but I also don't know how he'll feel about me taking the baby away from him so soon!

DanandVan · January 2016

@finnybooboo I wouldn't let my extended family take my 2 yr old either (my 8 and 10 yr olds, sure). Just stick to your guns and say your dd would be homesick (which is probably true!). And since you're for sure having a csection, I would wait and see how you are feeling. A month after my csection I still mostly felt like I'd been hit by a truck, and no amount of $ would get me into a swimsuit at the beach *crying emoji*.

cortney626 · January 2016

I say go for it! We go to the river every year. We usually go to Havasu and stay on the lake (on the boat) all day. My husband has counted that out this year as we'll have a newborn. I wish we could pull it off. If we went to Lake Mohave where we get a spot on the beach for the weekend then we can set up camp there and if I need to go back to the room, it's close by. So your set up sounds much more doable than what I'd like to do.

finnybooboo · January 2016

DanandVan said:

@finnybooboo I wouldn't let my extended family take my 2 yr old either (my 8 and 10 yr olds, sure). Just stick to your guns and say your dd would be homesick (which is probably true!). And since you're for sure having a csection, I would wait and see how you are feeling. A month after my csection I still mostly felt like I'd been hit by a truck, and no amount of $ would get me into a swimsuit at the beach *crying emoji*.

This momma never said anything about getting in a swim suit!! Ahahahah!!

I'm going to check into when the last moment will be that we can cancel and still get our money back. That may also play into things! Because you're right - even though for my last csec I didn't have any issues, doesn't mean I will heal/feel the same this time, especially with a 2 yr old to try to keep up with as well.

RMLandy · January 2016

First of all, who gives a rip of people judge you for taking a newborn on vacation! It's not their kid! But, practically speaking, I think a 3 hour trip is totally doable and as long as you have a place to take baby of he/she is unhappy on the beach or it's too hot, I think I'd go for it! We live about 2.5 hours from our family beach condo and we started making that trek regularly when my first was about a month old because it's something we have always done as a family since I was a child. Make sure to have plenty of water and shade, and go have fun!

sillyfox · January 2016

With my first, I went on a family vacation to the beach when she was 6 weeks old. I wasn't thrilled to put on a swimsuit but I'm so glad we did it. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc got to meet her and I framed a picture of us with her at the beach. I just threw on a one piece and nobody was looking at me anyway. Obviously do what you feel comfortable with, but I say go for it. I was glad we did.

Now the wedding a week and a half after my EDD/RCS is another thing. Still can't commit to that one ... EDD 5/26, one of my oldest friends is getting married 6/4. I know with my first I wouldn't have been able to be away from her that soon (I wasn't away from her for an hour until about 2 months out) but maaaybe? I'll see when I have to RSVP how I feel about it.

slfezz · January 2016

I took my 4 year old and 2.5 month old to Florida for a week long beach vacation and we drove there from Illinois

. The two day drive was the hardest part but we made sure to stop about every 3 hours and found a hotel around dinner time. At the beach we stayed in condos and had family around to help out. I just took the baby out to the beach for the morning and stayed inside for the afternoon. If we were out and the baby was hungry, I just popped out the boob and fed her in my beach chair with my feet in the sand. It was glorious

. The baby even fell asleep for a nap in the ocean when my mom was holding her.

I'll be doing a similar trip this year at the end of July with all 3 kids (5 yr old, 2 yr old, and 2 month old). I would definitely go for it with it only being a short drive since I'm crazy enough to do it with a 16 hour one!

allisonmunson94 · January 2016

I am so glad I'm not alone with this!! I live on the east coast and I am traveling on a plane to Missouri for my best friends wedding a month after my EDD. If I go 2 weeks over, I'll have a 2 week old, and he is coming with me because I'll be (hopefully) breastfeeding. And let's face it, I wouldn't want to leave him with anyone else either, even if we are just going for two nights! I'm also the maid of honor at this wedding so I am very nervous about the whole thing. I'm nervous about the flight with a one month old, about how to get through rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, and reception with him, and not gonna lie, nervous about even fitting into a bridesmaids dress one month postpartum. I don't know how realistic the whole idea is, but I know that I absolutely have to be there, since she just flew from Missouri to the east coast to be the maid of honor in my wedding this past June!

missnc77 · January 2016

Not judging anyone, just passing along information. I think pediatricians recommend for mothers not to travel with babies for the first couple of months, especially if it involves air travel. I would definitely talk to your doctor about what they think as far as the health of your newborn is concerned. I think a drive to grandmothers is perceived as okay, but a more elaborate vacation may not be recommended.

emma+karen · January 2016

We're doing a beach vacation with my whole family in early July. I'm also nervous because I'm due May 24th (and was late with DS) but we'll have a condo we're sharing with my parents, and my whole family is super helpful, and DS will have his cousins to play with and keep him entertained. My biggest concern is probably the 6-hour drive; once we're there I'm counting on lots of sunscreen and baby powder and help from family to make it an enjoyable week.

Bltbear82 · January 2016

@missnc77 our pediatrician recommended waiting until the first round of vaccinations at 2 months when we asked about air travel with DS but after that zero restrictions. We flew with him a week after his shots and it was fine. The primary concern is obviously planes are germ factories.

swflJD · January 2016

If you and LO are feeling physically up to going on the trip, it sounds like you'll have enough support there to still enjoy yourself. Maybe even pump and take bottles in a cooler or let someone else take LO back to the room for some of the feedings/changings so you aren't constantly running back and forth and having to watch everyone else have fun. As long as you have people there to help, I say go for it.

We aren't planning any long trips until LO is several months old, but I'm sure we'll have him out and about a lot locally. Since we live near the beach, we'll probably take him there within the first couple of months, and out on the sailboat just as soon. It really irritates me how some people think you should just hibernate indoors with newborns until they're older. While, of course, you have to take precautions with a newborn, you can't completely stop living your life in the meantime, either. Some people are always going to judge your parenting decisions, even if you go by every guideline in every book. Let them. It doesn't make you a bad mom; it just makes them bad people.

Lusitano8 · January 2016

Bltbear82 said:

@missnc77 our pediatrician recommended waiting until the first round of vaccinations at 2 months when we asked about air travel with DS but after that zero restrictions. We flew with him a week after his shots and it was fine. The primary concern is obviously planes are germ factories.

Glad you mentioned this! I've heard the same thing from multiple pediatricians. DH may have to be in California for a few chunks of time for work. I'd love to go with but I am weary to make an hour 1/2 flight to San Diego this summer before two months because of the germs in closed space. That would leave me with the option to drive out. But 6 hours in the car does not sound great either! Hearing that others have made longer drives makes me think it's a much better opting than flying before 2 months.

laurenmdrn16 · January 2016

I have been wondering the same thing. My family goes up to our lake house in Maine the last week of July every summer ever since I can remember. I even asked my mom what she did with me since I was born in May and she said, matter-of-factly, "Well, I obviously didn't leave you at home." So apparently I have been going up there since I was just a few months old. However, my mom is Superwoman and I am guessing it was a little harder than she is making it out to be to drive over 4 hours and then stay in the lake house (which isn't exactly a 5-star resort) with a newborn. The plus side is that my sisters will be going up and they are the best babysitters on the face of the planet. Last year, I am not even sure who was with my son more, me or my younger sister! That is definitely attractive because I know that maternity leave is not going to be a vacation by any stretch of the imagination with a toddler and an infant. It might be nice to have a break for a change and just cuddle in with my baby girl while my son has water gun fights with his aunties. Also, we have tons of privacy so if I want to just be basically topless the entire week for BFing, I can go for it! (My family is a bunch of super crunchy granola nurses and wicked close so I think both my sisters and my mom have all taken turns helping me attempt to BF and even checking my hoo-ha after birth).

My one question mark is whether MH will have enough vacation time. I know he is planning on using a few days after I come home from the hospital and he used a few here and there already to do some projects around the house. Hopefully he will have enough left over to take the entire week. Otherwise, he might get a real vacation of being at home and able to play video games to his heart's content! Either way, seems like a win-win to me!

LondonToSavannah · January 2016

My parents and my husband, toddler and new born are renting a beach house in Charleston, but not until early September. New one will be about 3 months old, and having a house with laundry and all that will be excellent!

I can't wait!

krisspy22 · January 2016

laurenmdrn16 said:

I have been wondering the same thing. My family goes up to our lake house in Maine the last week of July every summer ever since I can remember. I even asked my mom what she did with me since I was born in May and she said, matter-of-factly, "Well, I obviously didn't leave you at home." So apparently I have been going up there since I was just a few months old. However, my mom is Superwoman and I am guessing it was a little harder than she is making it out to be to drive over 4 hours and then stay in the lake house (which isn't exactly a 5-star resort) with a newborn. The plus side is that my sisters will be going up and they are the best babysitters on the face of the planet. Last year, I am not even sure who was with my son more, me or my younger sister! That is definitely attractive because I know that maternity leave is not going to be a vacation by any stretch of the imagination with a toddler and an infant. It might be nice to have a break for a change and just cuddle in with my baby girl while my son has water gun fights with his aunties. Also, we have tons of privacy so if I want to just be basically topless the entire week for BFing, I can go for it! (My family is a bunch of super crunchy granola nurses and wicked close so I think both my sisters and my mom have all taken turns helping me attempt to BF and even checking my hoo-ha after birth).

My one question mark is whether MH will have enough vacation time. I know he is planning on using a few days after I come home from the hospital and he used a few here and there already to do some projects around the house. Hopefully he will have enough left over to take the entire week. Otherwise, he might get a real vacation of being at home and able to play video games to his heart's content! Either way, seems like a win-win to me!

My husband and I have a cabin in Maine (not on a lake, but very private and in the mountains in Oxford County). It's 4.5 hours from where we live in CT and I fully plan on bringing our little guy up there as soon as DH starts school vacation. I will need a change of scenery by that point too. Our dogs love the land and the space to run around to their heart's content so I can't think of a reason not to go. I'm sure we will need to stop a few times on the drive up, but otherwise it's our place and is just as comfortable as being home.

Delitachan · January 2016

1 month, I'd say clear it with the doctor? You might be having a longer recovery and such. My family and I *ALWAYS* go to sunny California during the summer, but my little one is set to be 1-2 months old and I do not want him on a plane just yet. My doctor advised me not to take the newborn out the first month.

durbie92 · January 2016

So glad someone brought this up...we thought maybe we were crazy for thinking of taking a beach vaca for the 4th of July.....to Ft. Myers Beach, FL..... From St. Louis. Baby girl would be about 6 weeks. It's a 19 hour drive. Too expensive to fly and renr a car, deal wirh baby gear, etc. Obviously we'd stop overnight. But I am a FTM and have no clue what to do with a baby and sun and the beach, not to mention how I'll be feeling. We'd be staying with my BIL but he's not going to be much help. Idk, maybe we could go somewhere closer to home but then we'd be paying for a hotel. Maybe I'll just live vicariously through all your wonderful vacations!

lalala2004 · January 2016

We usually go out of town 4th of July weekend for a chill hang out with his old friends and family in the MO/KS area. We're likely going to postpone until Labor Day. We aren't ruling it out completely, though, just going to see how we feel.

BlueJuice · January 2016

We have a regular two-week-long camping vacation every August, which we are still planning on undertaking with the new baby, who should be not-quite-two-months-old by then. We've done this with our daughter every year since she was born (though she was about 8 months by her first trip), so we have the planning and execution somewhat down to a science, and there is a large group of friends and other support services available that makes us more comfortable that we have backup if we were to need it. The key for me is to plan to take it fairly easy and not try to cram in as many activities as I might otherwise want to, but just to enjoy the fact of being able to be present and visit with friends.

swflJD · January 2016

We hadn't been planning any summer trips, but last night MH mentioned going to Key West or Key Largo for the 4th of July since we're going to have to miss our annual regatta from Naples to Key West and back in May. We always look forward to that trip, so we're both pretty bummed about not doing it this year. It's about a 5 hour drive or a 3.5 hour boat ride (if we take the commercial jet boat) to Key West. I'm still debating whether it will be a good idea to go that weekend (so busy, so much traffic, more expensive because of the holiday), and I'm leaning toward going later in July or early August.

@durbie92 I live about a half hour drive from Ft. Myers Beach. If you do end up going, I'll be happy to give you restaurant/activity recommendations.

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