This happens to me every time. Right at the end of pregnancy, my anxiety ramps up and I start to freak out about actually having a baby. Like, what am I doing? How will this work? My life is about to be insane! I'm someone who freaks out over all life changes, and considering we moved states at 20 weeks and I started a new job at 34 weeks, it makes sense that I'm overwhelmed, but still, it sucks to be physically uncomfortable and insanely anxious all at once. The anxiety always goes away once my LOs arrive. I guess I'm just seeing if anyone can relate because having panic attacks is not the kind of thing you talk about with people when discussing an impending baby's arrival.
Ooh I'm with you. This is my first and I had a major panic attack last week. When I'm calm I know that this is a very planned for and wanted and loved baby already and that I'll be a great mom, but when my anxiety ramps up all that goes out the window...
Yes, totally!! We very much planned and tried for this LO but being a FTM this is going to be a massive life change for us so I definitely have my moments of 'holy f**k I'm going to be a mom and be responsible for another human life'.
I go through this too! With my second I had freak outs about how I was going to manage the lack of sleep with a toddler too. With this one we had random days where it felt like my older kids were out of control and I was like man what was I thinking having a third lol but my little man is here now and the transition has been easy and the whole family is in love. Try to relax but I think these feelings are normal.
Yup! Freaking out about everything. I had a NST in the hospital yesterday for the first time and it started a whole chain reaction freak out about labor (FTM here) - will I have to be induced? Will I be stuck in the hospital for days and days? What if something goes wrong?
Also, I've been awakened in the middle of the night with fears about my ability to breastfeed, how I'm going to get by on so little sleep, how I'm going to be alone with the baby after just 2 weeks of having my husband around, how I'm afraid I'm going to go insane with 6 months of maternity leave, worries about finances because of the 6 months of maternity leave, afraid I won't lose the baby weight, ever, and that I won't ever feel as happy and healthy as I felt before the baby, that my husband and I won't ever have the same fun adventures as we did before the baby, etc. And with all of these fears and worries, this is also a very, very much wanted pregnancy and I already adore the baby so much!
So, I think it's just (hopefully) normal fears, your brain prepping for a major change, and we'll all be fine in the end! (At least that's what I'm telling myself at 4am.) Hang in there!
I was nervous (to say the least) a couple weeks prior to delivery to the point that I was okay with my little guy being late...I didn't feel completely prepared/ready and as a FTM I was completely overwhelmed.
After Michael arrived (11 days ago now) all of my worries literally went away.
yeah. I didn't really have time to think or freak out before my first because he surprised us by showing up three weeks early. This time I'm 39+2. I've been freaking out periodically since 35 weeks or so. DH started to show signs this week. The energy in our house is kind of intense because of it. DS (who is 2.5) can definitely feel it too.
Today at my appointment DH started crying when we were talking about things. They weren't sad tears, just an abundance of emotions. It's crazy how much emotion we all have these last few weeks.
Yes! I'm due tomorrow (eek!) and fluctuate between "Come on little girl, hurry up and arrive!" and "JESUSFCHRIST, stay in there as long as possible, I'm not ready!!!". One day it's very real and the next I imagine that I've been pregnant for funsies and that's it, there will never be a baby at the end. Honestly, I just want her here so I can stop this madness of mental anxiety and the waiting game of "is today the day???"
THANK you all so much for posting. It makes me feel SO much better that I'm not the only one who goes a little nuts right before the end. I'm a third time mom so it's not like this is my first time, it's just that this is how I get about anything major happening and it's hard because being at the end of pregnancy people are just all excited and wanting to be happy for you and that's wonderful and kind, but it leaves no room for the scary feelings. I know I'll feel fine once she's here, it's just the nighttime freakouts can be really powerful.
My third too, and I'm freaking out in a way I never did with the first two. I had two wonderful natural deliveries, this time they've told me the baby is large and I'm flipping out that I won't be able to get through it, will never sleep again, my kids will hate me, I'm ruining them by being so tired... It's really nuts. People expect by #3 that you're just fine but this has been the most stressful one yet!
It's a huge, life altering, long-term commitment, and there aren't any mulligans!
But, just the fact that you're considering the gravity of all of this probably means you're head is on fairly straight.
Add hormones, sleepless nights, impending delivery, and you've got a pretty good recipe for some intense anxiety. Let it in, listen to it, and let it go.
Yup. I'm freaking out about the unknown. I'm a wicked planner, so not being able to have things planned out bothers me. Like, when the baby will decide to come and how I'm going to handle having a toddler and a newborn and what if the newborn is crying to nurse at the same time as I'm trying to get the toddler to bed... and how I'm going to handle being outnumbered by 2 kids when my husband is on his frequent business trips. I'm sure it'll all work out, but I have nothing better to do than freak out right now while I play the waiting game.
I am SUPER happy to see this posted. I posted something similar on another board and got nothing, and was feeling like a freak for having these feelings
My first came 3 weeks early (like a PP earlier said) and I had placenta previa for the entire pregnancy until 36 weeks so I had mentally prepared for a c/s. So when I found out it moved I was like, oh no biggie, I have a few weeks to mentally prepare for a vaginal, NOPE, he came the next week with little notice. It was an awful labor and I had a lot of weird things happen after that.
My first took 5 years to have (see history below) so when we started TTC for this one, when DS was only 6 months old I thought we'd have years. NOPE got ktfu right away and was totally fine mentally until the past two weeks and am having anxiety issues now. About the birth itself, about how I'm going to manage a 15 month old and a newborn, I'm losing my job, just a ton going on. I've been having mini panic attacks throughout the day. I'm just scared and am getting so tired and huge (due Feb 18th) and in some ways want her to come now and in others I'm like stay the F in there baby!
Sorry long post, but this is a huge relief to see I'm not alone. hugs for everyone!
@hvwitham glad you like the profile pic... FYI my husband is the artist
FTM here, starting to get really anxious but at a little over 40 weeks I keep swinging wildly from "I can't do this" to omg "I am so ready for this." It's been something of a panic roller coaster around here. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
This is baby 4. I have kids in school. I have to wake up and get them off to school and how is this going to work with a newborn? What if my kids have a hard time adjusting?
This will also be vba2c number 2. And what if it goes bad? What if he's too big? What if I need an emergency c-section?
What if I get ppd? My anxiety is sky high.
I'm so ready. But I am no where near ready.
By the way this is my internal monologue for the past week. Everyone around me seems so calm.
I'm glad I'm not alone. I'm an OB nurse so i can't help but see all that goes on and think all of these very random and extremely rare things are going to happen to me. I'm just so ready to get this going so that this part can be done. I'm not really thinking about the rest, like coming home with a newborn and having no idea what to do...FTM. so I guess I'll have anxiety after in relation to that. This having a baby nonsense is beyond anxiety producing! Not to mention that the end of pregnancy is far more uncomfortable than I was expecting. Ugh! Almost there. I'm just so type A and so ready for the day to be here so I can stop freaking out!!!
I just had my 3rd 3 weeks ago and right before I had my 2nd and 3rd I started freaking out! I start to have thoughts on how I will manage with a new baby. I always think to myself that lift just calmed down and we had a good rhythm going and now another baby will be here shortly. I think it is completely normal to have anxiety.
I am definitely frekaing out. I've lurked posts since I got pregnant but this one really relates. I'm a ftm and I'm getting induced on the 26th due to being on blood thinners & my OB wanting to know when to cut me off of them. Crazy to think a little human will be here & my responsibility in just a few days. I am just waaay nervous.
ETA: my lease also ends 4 days after my DS will be here so moving with a baby that isn't even a week old is also stressing me super bad. Nursery isn't even set up...
Reading through this thread and everyone's comments was honestly the best therapy. I'm 40w1d, and kind of feel like I might be losing my mind these days with just all the ups and downs, uncertainties and unknowns. It is such a mind trip to be playing this waiting game, with all that it carries. I could go on and on and on about it all, but suffice to say, reading everyone's responses is seriously so therapeutic.
@ekscopp ALL OF THIS. I'm an L&D nurse and FTM as well and feel like a paranoid crazy person. I've had to deal with some pretty emotional stuff through this pregnancy as far as patients and work related things and we've just had some wierd things happen in the last couple weeks that has made me totally anxious. I was also just telling my mom that even though I see very pregnant people on a daily basis, I severely under estimated how uncomfortable the end would be. I still don't think it has quite hit me yet that I'll be taking a newborn home any day now. Ah!
My little one is a week old and I am still freaking out! So far so good but I am freaking out about the first time I will be alone with both of my kids. I tore significantly (2nd degree) so my ob told me absolutely no lifting anything heavier than the baby for 2 weeks. This means I can't lift my 22 month old so someone has to be with me all the time, if he is home. Next week...they could leave me!!!!?
I think it is totally normal to freak out a little...or so I tell myself ;-)
@christianks104 I know right!?! I don't even want to say on here what I just saw 2 days ago but it ended in a hysterectomy for a very young mom and now I have to worry about that! sometimes too much knowledge is such a bad thing!!! I'm just so ready to get this show on the road!!!
I'm 39 weeks today and just a little bit ago I started freaking out about labor. I'm a STM but I just got this panicky anxiety about not being able to handle it and wanting to somehow get out of it....ugh! Just ready for baby girl to be here and to be past this waiting and stress!
I had a little anxiety about being a mommy before Denver was born. But it REALLY hit me during delivery.. I freaked out. Seriously freaked out - I almost punched SO because he was trying to calm me down and I didn't appreciate that ( I ended up grabbing his shirt at the neck and said "don't speak to me like that" he was calmly talking to me lol) I was just in freak out mode... Then they put him on my chest and everything was better. I still have my anxious moments and the " I can't do this" moments but, I'm so in love with my son that it all goes away.
Right now, things are going well because I am home and taking care of LO is my only job right now. He gets my full attention and I don't have to think about my other full time job, I left 6 weeks ago.
With that, I am starting to get anxious about returning to work. So much so, that I am cutting my maternity leave short by 3 weeks just so I can go back for 2 days and then have the following week off. (School teacher here and we get a winter break in Feb. for a week). LO came 6 weeks early, so my original plan for time off did not pan out accordingly, which is fine. I can't imagine him not being in our lives right now. I need the 2 days to get my "feet wet" so I can prepare myself for what it's going to be like, when I have to go back Monday-Friday.
Oh the anxiety! The crazy nightmares have begun for me.
First it was nightmares about people trying to hurt or take my kids and me destroying them in terrible ways (very violent and extremely out of character for me).
Then, it was nightmares about my kids accidentally getting severely injured or killed in my care while I watched and couldn't do anything to stop it.
Now, it's nightmares about terrible labor situations. Last night, I dreamt that I was shoulder-to-shoulder in a small crowded NYC elevator (I live no where near the city) and I went into labor just as the elevator got stuck.
@juneandboo I'm feeling exactly how you said! I just came on here now after another night of no sleep to seek reassurance that I'm not losing my mind and alone in thinking and feeling the way I do. This last stage of pregnancy is so effing hard. I'm beyond ready for LO to be here (and maybe that's the point of it being so hard?).
Therapy board for sure. Knowing others are just as freaked out as me is comforting. I realized today that my anxiety is coming from the fact that I can't just "mind over matter this and make it happen". I have anxiety even when not pregnant, but usually after a good freak out I can just "decide" on an outcome and work at it until it is so. Babies don't work like that, I can't decide when he will be born, or decide that I won't need a c section. It's all out of my hands, and for a total type a control freak that struggles with anxiety... It's terrifying!
I love that this board exists so we can commiserate and self soothe with other's similar feelings!
Anyone had their babies and feeling better about things yet? I think those stories could help us anxious mamas too!
I was diagnosed with anxiety before I was pregnant so those last few weeks of pregnancy were terrible! But as soon as I held my DS, it all went away. There is literally nothing better than cuddling up with your sleeping newborn and staring at the little miracle that you created.
Re: Anyone else freaking out?
Also, I've been awakened in the middle of the night with fears about my ability to breastfeed, how I'm going to get by on so little sleep, how I'm going to be alone with the baby after just 2 weeks of having my husband around, how I'm afraid I'm going to go insane with 6 months of maternity leave, worries about finances because of the 6 months of maternity leave, afraid I won't lose the baby weight, ever, and that I won't ever feel as happy and healthy as I felt before the baby, that my husband and I won't ever have the same fun adventures as we did before the baby, etc. And with all of these fears and worries, this is also a very, very much wanted pregnancy and I already adore the baby so much!
So, I think it's just (hopefully) normal fears, your brain prepping for a major change, and we'll all be fine in the end! (At least that's what I'm telling myself at 4am.) Hang in there!
After Michael arrived (11 days ago now) all of my worries literally went away.
Today at my appointment DH started crying when we were talking about things. They weren't sad tears, just an abundance of emotions. It's crazy how much emotion we all have these last few weeks.
THANK you all so much for posting. It makes me feel SO much better that I'm not the only one who goes a little nuts right before the end. I'm a third time mom so it's not like this is my first time, it's just that this is how I get about anything major happening and it's hard because being at the end of pregnancy people are just all excited and wanting to be happy for you and that's wonderful and kind, but it leaves no room for the scary feelings. I know I'll feel fine once she's here, it's just the nighttime freakouts can be really powerful.
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But, just the fact that you're considering the gravity of all of this probably means you're head is on fairly straight.
Add hormones, sleepless nights, impending delivery, and you've got a pretty good recipe for some intense anxiety. Let it in, listen to it, and let it go.
My first came 3 weeks early (like a PP earlier said) and I had placenta previa for the entire pregnancy until 36 weeks so I had mentally prepared for a c/s. So when I found out it moved I was like, oh no biggie, I have a few weeks to mentally prepare for a vaginal, NOPE, he came the next week with little notice. It was an awful labor and I had a lot of weird things happen after that.
My first took 5 years to have (see history below) so when we started TTC for this one, when DS was only 6 months old I thought we'd have years. NOPE got ktfu right away and was totally fine mentally until the past two weeks and am having anxiety issues now. About the birth itself, about how I'm going to manage a 15 month old and a newborn, I'm losing my job, just a ton going on. I've been having mini panic attacks throughout the day. I'm just scared and am getting so tired and huge (due Feb 18th) and in some ways want her to come now and in others I'm like stay the F in there baby!
Sorry long post, but this is a huge relief to see I'm not alone. hugs for everyone!
BFP #1 05/16/10 EDD 01/13/11 natural m/c 11w1d (unknown cause)
BFP #2 03/24/11 EDD 12/06/11 missed m/c D&C 10w (Triploidy xxx)
BFP #3 12/24/11 EDD 09/02/12 missed m/c D&C 10w4d (Triploidy xxx)
BFP #4 02/10/14 EDD 10/19/14 - Baby boy made his arrival 10/02/14!
BFP #5 05/08/15 EDD 01/19/16 C/P 05/14/15
BFP #6 06/05/15 EDD 02/18/16 *It's a GIRL!!*
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FTM here, starting to get really anxious but at a little over 40 weeks I keep swinging wildly from "I can't do this" to omg "I am so ready for this." It's been something of a panic roller coaster around here. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
This is baby 4. I have kids in school. I have to wake up and get them off to school and how is this going to work with a newborn? What if my kids have a hard time adjusting?
This will also be vba2c number 2. And what if it goes bad? What if he's too big? What if I need an emergency c-section?
What if I get ppd? My anxiety is sky high.
I'm so ready. But I am no where near ready.
By the way this is my internal monologue for the past week. Everyone around me seems so calm.
This having a baby nonsense is beyond anxiety producing! Not to mention that the end of pregnancy is far more uncomfortable than I was expecting. Ugh! Almost there. I'm just so type A and so ready for the day to be here so I can stop freaking out!!!
ETA: my lease also ends 4 days after my DS will be here so moving with a baby that isn't even a week old is also stressing me super bad. Nursery isn't even set up...
I think it is totally normal to freak out a little...or so I tell myself ;-)
But it REALLY hit me during delivery.. I freaked out. Seriously freaked out - I almost punched SO because he was trying to calm me down and I didn't appreciate that ( I ended up grabbing his shirt at the neck and said "don't speak to me like that" he was calmly talking to me lol)
I was just in freak out mode... Then they put him on my chest and everything was better.
I still have my anxious moments and the " I can't do this" moments but, I'm so in love with my son that it all goes away.
With that, I am starting to get anxious about returning to work. So much so, that I am cutting my maternity leave short by 3 weeks just so I can go back for 2 days and then have the following week off. (School teacher here and we get a winter break in Feb. for a week). LO came 6 weeks early, so my original plan for time off did not pan out accordingly, which is fine. I can't imagine him not being in our lives right now. I need the 2 days to get my "feet wet" so I can prepare myself for what it's going to be like, when I have to go back Monday-Friday.
Oh the anxiety! The crazy nightmares have begun for me.
First it was nightmares about people trying to hurt or take my kids and me destroying them in terrible ways (very violent and extremely out of character for me).
Then, it was nightmares about my kids accidentally getting severely injured or killed in my care while I watched and couldn't do anything to stop it.
Now, it's nightmares about terrible labor situations. Last night, I dreamt that I was shoulder-to-shoulder in a small crowded NYC elevator (I live no where near the city) and I went into labor just as the elevator got stuck.
Knowing others are just as freaked out as me is comforting. I realized today that my anxiety is coming from the fact that I can't just "mind over matter this and make it happen". I have anxiety even when not pregnant, but usually after a good freak out I can just "decide" on an outcome and work at it until it is so. Babies don't work like that, I can't decide when he will be born, or decide that I won't need a c section. It's all out of my hands, and for a total type a control freak that struggles with anxiety... It's terrifying!
I love that this board exists so we can commiserate and self soothe with other's similar feelings!
Anyone had their babies and feeling better about things yet? I think those stories could help us anxious mamas too!