Sleep Regression

meganraschke · January 2016

My LO is turning 4 months this week, and from what I've read he seems to be going through the 4 month sleep regression. His naps have turned into 20 minute power naps, and the past 4 nights he has not been able to sleep without co-sleeping with me.
Don't get me wrong I love our co-sleeping time and will frequently do it if he wakes up anytime after 2am to nurse. But co-sleeping all night long is killing my back and we have a queen size bed....it's not large enough for my husband and I and extra room for LO.

My questions are: how do I get LO to settle without co-sleeping? Last week I was just setting him down in his pack and play and he was out. This week when I set him down even asleep he squirms around, eventually starts crying so I just put him in bed with me.
We breastfeed so I am not seeking advice to get him to sleep through the night, that was nice while it lasted but he needs to eat during the night now so I am okay with that. Right now co-sleeping he is waking up anywhere from 2-4 times a night to nurse between 9pm and 4am when I wake up.

If I can't get him to sleep without co-sleeping will I make any bad sleep habits/associations. I don't mind doing this sometimes, but it is not something I want to have to happen so that he can sleep. I want him to be able to sleep on his own and just sleep with us occasionally.

NurseRieger · January 2016

Where does LO normally sleep? Try same room separate surface. Babies do make sleep associations but IMO babies habits can be changed easier than adults. Create a bedtime routine and stick with it and eventually the sleep regression period will end. White noise machines are great, I've used it since the beginning and turn it on at the night time bottle and it's like a switch flips. I do miss nursing to sleep, it worked great.

meganraschke · January 2016

He has been sleeping in a pnp next to our bed. Once he outgrew the infant napper we transitioned him to the large space at the bottom of the pnp with no issues. I haven't tried our white noise app the past few days though, I will give that a shot tonight. He is just recovering from RSV so at first I thought he was just seeking more comfort but with this happening 4 days in a row it seems more like a phase.
I am so sorry you miss nursing, I've seen your other posts about your job not being pumping friendly. He definitely goes into a nursing coma, but if I move him he wakes up. If I let him sleep on me or next to me nursing him to sleep will work.
He's also showing signs of starting to teethe, I'm not sure if that goes into all of this also.

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

4 months is a really tough age and IMO things don't really get better until about 6 months. With that being said, you can either put in the leg work to get him to settle on his own now, or put in the work later when you want him out of your bed and back in his own bed. I'm a strong believer in "doing what works at the time" and I don't think you necessarily create "bad habits" during the first 6 months BUT anything involving sleep with a baby is going to take consistency and some tears. There is no avoiding that.

You can try moving the pack 'n' play to his own room (being in your room might make things harder) and then do interval checks OR you can co-sleep until he's a bit older. With nursing at night you probably want him close to you so I think being in your bed might be your best option. I moved both of my kids to their own rooms by the time they were 2 months and I didn't nurse so my situation was a little "easier" (for lack of a better word).

meganraschke · January 2016

Yes it is definitely convenient having him in our room for nursing. And our house is 2 story so moving him to his own room this early just doesn't feel right to me. I know I could move the pnp into the living room to try it but my husbands ocd wouldn't tolerate it staying there.
For now co-sleeping is definitely working, for LO at least haha
When you say it gets easier at 6 months is that just because they are better able to regulate their sleep cycles?
We have been trying to put him down every night and just have resorted to co-sleeping so that everyone can get some sleep

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

meganraschke said:

Yes it is definitely convenient having him in our room for nursing. And our house is 2 story so moving him to his own room this early just doesn't feel right to me. I know I could move the pnp into the living room to try it but my husbands ocd wouldn't tolerate it staying there. For now co-sleeping is definitely working, for LO at least haha When you say it gets easier at 6 months is that just because they are better able to regulate their sleep cycles? We have been trying to put him down every night and just have resorted to co-sleeping so that everyone can get some sleep

Yes, exactly that. They are more aware and easier to help them learn to sleep on their own. Before that age things change so much and so often that you really are just trying to survive.

You say that you try putting him down each night but resort to co-sleeping and I have a feeling that's because he KNOWS you'll come get him. Which is fine! He's still young, but he already knows that if he cries, you'll come get him and he'd rather be in bed with you than the pnp.

It all comes down to how much work you want to put into this and whether or not your REALLY want him out of your bed. You have plenty of time if the current situation is working for you but it's your call

meganraschke · January 2016

Haha my husband says this exact thing to me all the time. Yes he does know that I'll come get him. I will even come get him before he starts crying if he looks like he's going to cry! I'm a sucker! My back is paying for it but for now the snuggles are nice. I just don't want to make a bigger issue later on by indulging this

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

meganraschke said:

Haha my husband says this exact thing to me all the time. Yes he does know that I'll come get him. I will even come get him before he starts crying if he looks like he's going to cry! I'm a sucker! My back is paying for it but for now the snuggles are nice. I just don't want to make a bigger issue later on by indulging this

Most moms are suckers. It's in our DNA!

If you are enjoying the cuddles then do not stop. I was told to stop rocking my kids to sleep but I'm so glad I didn't listen. Nothing you do now will scar them later in life and no habits are hard to break so keep at it.

NurseRieger · January 2016

I was also given the advice of don't hold him too much, put that baby don't you will spoil him! Glad I didn't listen either. Babies will all become children who sleep in their rooms all night long without being rocked to sleep first. They won't always want to cuddle so I say soak up everything now and just enjoy it while it lasts. My baby wanted to be held constantly as a newborn. I felt like my arms would fall off sometimes...like the boppy pillow and baby ktan saved my arms! He's 5 months today and only wants to be held when he's having his bottle or he's tired. Otherwise he's in his jumper, or activity mat playing and uninterested in cuddles. I'll rock him to sleep as long as he lets me.

meganraschke · January 2016

@NurseRieger I couldn't agree more no matter how many times people say I am spoiling him I refuse to listen. I don't think it's spoiling to cuddle with them! My husband says I'm raising a mommas boy I just keep thinking one day he'll be 'mom leave me alone' age and I'll be happy I had this time with him

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

meganraschke said:

@NurseRieger I couldn't agree more no matter how many times people say I am spoiling him I refuse to listen. I don't think it's spoiling to cuddle with them! My husband says I'm raising a mommas boy I just keep thinking one day he'll be 'mom leave me alone' age and I'll be happy I had this time with him.

That's not such a terrible thing

NurseRieger · January 2016

@meganraschke my Aunt coslept with her son until he was 11 and now when she drops him off with his friends it's all mom stay away you're embarrassing me! Mom when you pick me up stay a block away! They all grow up eventually.

meganraschke · January 2016

I will totally cry in my car haha. Hopefully by that time my skin is thicker

altow1310 · January 2016

This thread just made me feel SO much better! Thank you, @meganraschke and @Bigboobsmcgee! My LO is 15 weeks and I'm pretty sure he's going through the 4-month sleep regression a little early. He isn't having much trouble falling asleep but definitely having trouble staying asleep. He has been STTN since about four weeks, so these wake-ups quite the change of pace for us. I have been doing a lot of nursing in bed/cosleeping because it seems to be the best solution for both of us right now. I have always been big on "find what works for you and go with it," but I have been worrying whether I am creating bad habits for LO and setting myself up for a long road ahead. I don't want to create a monster or cause any setbacks in his sleep pattern by doing this, so I'm extremely happy to read the encouraging comments about how nothing you do right now will "ruin" them. The way I see it, babies don't keep, and soon enough I will be longing for the days when he needed me and wanted to snuggle with me (here come the tears lol), so I am just going to keep doing whatever is working. I think he just needs the comfort and closeness of nursing/snuggling back to sleep, and I am going to keep giving him whatever he needs!

JDamato512 · January 2016

I'm having the same short nap problem. My LO is four months old and his napping is so strange -- he catnaps and wakes up still tired and needs help going back down. He sleeps well at night, thank God. Any nap advice?

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

JDamato512 said:

I'm having the same short nap problem. My LO is four months old and his napping is so strange -- he catnaps and wakes up still tired and needs help going back down. He sleeps well at night, thank God. Any nap advice?

Accept it and realize it is normal. I'm convinced ALL babies go through the short nap phase. It sucks but there isn't much you can do about it. It will pass though.

Bigboobsmcgee · January 2016

jadi1215 said:

This thread just made me feel SO much better! Thank you, @meganraschke and @Bigboobsmcgee! My LO is 15 weeks and I'm pretty sure he's going through the 4-month sleep regression a little early. He isn't having much trouble falling asleep but definitely having trouble staying asleep. He has been STTN since about four weeks, so these wake-ups quite the change of pace for us. I have been doing a lot of nursing in bed/cosleeping because it seems to be the best solution for both of us right now. I have always been big on "find what works for you and go with it," but I have been worrying whether I am creating bad habits for LO and setting myself up for a long road ahead. I don't want to create a monster or cause any setbacks in his sleep pattern by doing this, so I'm extremely happy to read the encouraging comments about how nothing you do right now will "ruin" them. The way I see it, babies don't keep, and soon enough I will be longing for the days when he needed me and wanted to snuggle with me (here come the tears lol), so I am just going to keep doing whatever is working. I think he just needs the comfort and closeness of nursing/snuggling back to sleep, and I am going to keep giving him whatever he needs!

The bolded is absolutely true. I have an almost 4 year old and a 16 month old and I long for the days when they were tiny and would snuggle all the time.

I'm glad this thread helped. When my first kid was a baby I spent SO much time trying to problem solve every little thing, follow "expert" advice and tried my hardest to do everything perfectly. Needless to say I wasted a lot of time but I learned from that.

You're LO will be fine so right now just try to survive!

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