Infertility

Why are people the WORST???

Personal gripe for a moment...

Today we went to a birthday celebration for my husband. He is leaving for 10 months in 2 weeks so it was a good opportunity for family to get together. Apparently it was another attendees birthday (one year old) so it turned into a joint celebration. My husband is NOT big on birthdays so he definitely did not care but it would have been nice to at least be told about this before the event.

Anyway my husband and the one year old opened presents at the same time...alternating. I was moving around serving cake to everyone while this went on. My mother-in-law pulled me aside to point out a specific gift and told me to make sure I watched my husband open it. My husband pulls up this gift bag and begins pulling out item after item of baby clothing. My mother-in-law is just laughing hysterically saying "oops those items must be for the one year old". At the bottom of the bag there was a shirt for my husband. She wrapped the items in the same bag...on purpose...and then made sure I was there to witness her "joke". She is fully aware that we have been TTC for over two years and are actively treating with injectables and IUIs.

People are the WORST!!!

Re: Why are people the WORST???

  • Oh no!!! That is so insensitive!!!!  I bet your hubby didn't take it well... :(

    I am sorry that you had to experience that! People just don't seem to understand.
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  • Wow.  That is incredibly rude and insensitive.  I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
    Me: 33, PCOS, Type 2 Diabetes on insulin, post bariatric surgery (11/14)
    SO: 27
    TTC un-medicated for ~ 1 year
    October, 2015 - Clomid 50mg CD 5-9 with TI = BFN
    November, 2015 - Clomid 100mg CD 5-9, Ovidrel 11/11 with TI = BFN
    December, 2015 - Letrazole 2.5mg CD 3-7 (no trigger) with TI = BFN
    January, 2016 - Letrazole 5mg CD 3-7 + Letrazole 7.5 mg CD 12-16, Ovidrel 1/23 with IUI #1 on 1/25 = (AF @ 8DPO) BFN
    February, 2016 - Letrazole 7.5 mg CD 3-7, Ovidrel 2/14 with IUI #2 on 2/16 = BFN
    My Chart
  • Oh my gosh.

    I can't believe your MIL would do that! Has she always been that way toward you? I just can't even imagine someone being that terrible.

    I am so sorry that this has happened to you. I sincerely hope that you only see her a few times a year.
    About us:
    Me - 28, Lean PCOS
    DH - 31
    Married June 2010, TTC since March 2014
    Blog: ourbinarystar.com

    FET cycle #3 Transfer July 28th 2016, Triplets born healthy on February 26th 2017 at 33w1d!

  • Oh, I am so sorry to hear/read that. My heart broke a little for you two. 
    That was definitely the worse I have heard so far. 
    I hope you and your DH are doing ok, and can put that cruel joke besides you.
    Enjoy the next to weeks with your DH, only do fun stuff, and forget about the MIL.
    xoxo

    **********************************************************************************************************************************

    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers



  • Wow that is really crappy. She should be supporting you both. She would be the last one to know if you got a BFP.
  • oxinfreeoxinfree member
    edited January 2016
    Not only is this insensitive, it's just plain weird. My mother and MIL are very cautious around the topic because they want nothing more than us to be happy. I can't imagine not having their support of all people. I'm so incredibly sorry you had to go through that. Ugh. Infertility is really an incredibly challenging thing to go through, and then to have others just basically smack you down even further, the worst. 
    ---
    Started TTC April 2011
    Me: 32, DH: 32
    Diagnosis: Endometriosis

    • 2012 - 3 Rounds clomid - all BFN
    • 2013 - 1 Fresh IVF with 2 day 3 embryos - BFN
    • 2014 - 1 Frozen IVF with 2 day 5 embryos - BFN
    • Took a long break, continuing trying naturally
    • Feb 2016 - Biopsy = Endo, DH sperm improved from 1% to 6% morphology
    • March 2016 - Fresh IVF cycle with acupuncture & intralipids: 20 eggs retrieved (17 mature), 7 ICSI'd fertilized, 9 naturally fertilized. 16 total embryos!
    • April 8th - 2 embryos (1ICSI and 1 Natural) transferred. (7 blastocysts frozen), April 18th - Beta = BFN
    • Sept 23rd - Lupron Depot Injection for Endo control
    • Nov 15th 2016 - Started daily Lupron Injections for upcoming FET
    • Nov 22 - Baseline US/BW - Intralipid Infusion - Start Meds for FET with immune protocol
    • Dec 16th FET transfer of 3 embryos (1 - AA, 2 - BB)
    • TW below
    • Dec 22nd - first ever bfp (very faint lines FRER & cheapie)
    • Dec 27th Beta = 192, Dec 29th Beta = 379
    • EDD - Sept 5th 2017

    - - -
    I'm a YouTube vlogger who talks about Infertility, IVF and Endometriosis. Check it out here!
    Follow along at http://liv4today.blog
    Instagram @liv4todayvlog 


  • @PCOSat25 I am so sorry you had to endure that. That is crappy. I hope you were able to express to get how that was inappropriate!

    I hope the 10 months fly by while he is away.
    Married May 2009, TTC since November 2012 (Together since 2006 ish - had my eyes on him since 2001)
    Me: 32 (33 in May), Him: 37 (January)

    DX: Me: High Prolactin, Possible Autoimmune Disease Issues, though RE not concerned (?)  New RE has a plan!!
           Him: Minor Varicocele, low morphology, slightly low count

    History:

    Beta 5/9/2016 BFP!!
    Embryo transfer scheduled for April 28, 2016 and beta test May 9, 2016 (day after Mother's Day!)
    Transfer Meds include: Lupron Depot (4/1), Minivelle Patch (every 3rd day), Estradiol (3x daily), Amoxicillin, Progesterone in Oil, Methylprednisonlone. Lovenox and baby asprin added after transfer. 

    3/22/16 - Sono Saline ultrasound cyst to be aspirated on 4/1/16 if not cleared up by 3/29 US - It cleared on its own
    Retrieval 3/4/16 - 26 eggs retrieved, 23 mature, 20 fertilized, 14 embryos currently frozen
    Starting IVF Stims on +/- Feb 22, 2016
    HSG scheduled for 1-26-16 - All clear "beautiful uterus" (though inverted)

    Switched clinics and now prepping for IVF in February / March

    Fourth IUI -  CD3-7 100 Clomid w/ Ovidrel Trigger - December, 2015 - BFN
    Third IUI -  CD3-7 100 Clomid w/ Ovidrel Trigger - November, 2015 - BFN
    Second IUI - CD3-7 100 Clomid w/ Ovidrel Trigger - September, 2015 - BFN
    Started Prolactin Medication October 15 - Levels quickly regulated to with in normal range
    First IUI - CD3-7 100 Clomid w/ Ovidrel Trigger - August, 2015 - BFN
    After no BFPs (ever) First RE/Urologist visit in Feb 2015
    HSG w/ OB, 2014 = all clear
    Trying to conceive since November 2012
  • What is wrong with people!!!! That is so insensitive. Ugh! I hate people
    DS#1: born Dec 29, 2013 
    TTC#2 since Sept 2014 - unexplained secondary IF
    BFP #2: 11.7.14  M/C: 11.27.14 @ 6w3days
    BFP #3: 04.19.2015 M/C 04.27.15 @ 4w3days
    BFP #4: 10.05.2015 C/P @ 3w4days
    Oct 11, 2015: Cycle 13. Starting Femara (2.5mg). HSG this cycle (all clear) - BFN
    Nov 12, 2015: Cyle 14. Femara 5mg + IUI - BFN
    Dec 10, 2015: Cycle 15. Femara 5mg + IUI #2 - BFP #5! C/P 4w4d
    Jan 10, 2016: Cycle 16. Femara 5mg + IUI #3 - BFN.
    Feb 10, 2016: Cycle 17.  No IUI or meds. Taking a break - Natural BFP Mar 5, 2016!!!! EDD Nov 16, 2016
    Moving to IVF March 2016
    Beta at 10dpo: 21, Beta at 12dpo: 98, Beta at 14dpo: 264, Beta at 16dpo: 745
    U/S 6w6d: single beautiful heartbeat of 121bpm - It's a boy!!!!
    Nov 3, 2016: Our family became complete. Welcome DS #2.
  • What was she thinking? I'm sorry you both had to go through that. People really do suck! 
    ***History & TW in Spoiler***

    ***bfp & child warning***
    TTC - since 2014
    7 rounds of Clomid - BFN
    IUI #1 - October 2015 - BFN
    IUI #2 - November 2015 - BFN
    IUI #3 - December 2015 - BFN
    IVF #1 - March 2016
    Retrieval #1 - April 2016
    FET #1 - May 2016 - BFP!!! DS - Born January 2017
    Trying for baby #2...
    FET #2 - January 2018 - BFN  
    No more embryos left; switched to a new RE
    IVF/Retrieval #2 - January 2019
    IVF/Retrieval #3 - March 2019
    FET #3 - April 2019 - BFP!!! - DD: Born December 2019
    Trying for baby #3...
    FET #4 - October 2021 - BFP!!! - Due June 2022


  • Omg what the hell ? How could that be funny to anyone ? On any level ? TTC or not . It's not funny . How did you guys react ? I would be infuriated and would want to minimize contact for awhile . I'm so sorry that this happened to y'all . You don't deserve to be treated with such disrespect . I'm angry for you

    **BFP and loss warning**

    Me: 29
    DH: 29
    Us: Married Valentine's Day, 2015
    DH: No issues.
    Me: PCOS, unexplained infertility (whatever that means!!)
    June 2015 Medicated TI cycle: BFN
    July 2015:  Medicated TI cycle: BFN
    August 2015: IUI: BFP. Chemical pregnancy :(
    October 2015: IUI: BFN
    January 2016: Egg retrieval: 10 frozen embryos!
    March 2016: FET Cycle- 2 embryos transferred!: BFP !
  • I'm so sorry! That is NOT ok... How could she even think that would be funny?  I've been dealing with some very inconsiderate family members as well but not to this level.  I hope you two are doing ok!
    ***TW***

    Me: 27, Endometriosis
    DH: 30
    Married: 06/2012
    TTC #1 since 09/2014
    10/2015 1st IUI BFN (Gonal-F & Ovidrel)
    07/2016 2nd IUI BFN (Femara, Gonal-F, Ovidrel & Progesterone)
    08/2016 3rd IUI  BFN (Femara, Gonal-F, Ovidrel & Progesterone)
    Planned IVF in Summer 2017
    Surprise BFP 11/28/16: Beta 1 - 2311, Beta 2 - 6049; EDD 8/4/17
  • that is probably the worst thing I've heard of happening to a person going through all of this!  

    We have been trying for over 2 years as well and I think my DR is about to put me on injectables...I'm feeling your pain here!

    Al I keep hearing is "did you know, so and so's pregnant?"...and I'm all, "didn't you know I don't care?"  lol
  • Thanks for all the support everyone! I was in such shock I just walked out of the room and poured myself a glass of wine (which I then only took a few sips of...stupid tww). My husband played it off really well. He is generally mr. Cool. He brought it up on the ride home saying he was super offended by it and I just LOST IT and balled. He said he was going to talk to his dad about it but I asked him not too. It wouldn't change anything and would probably just turn into my reliving the moment in conversation multiple times...

    I am so glad I can come here and vent. You ladies mean the world to me!
  • Seriously, that is the worst thing I can imagine!  Why on earth would she think that was funny??  Oh MILs are the worst!!  And if you had done anything similar to her, you would have been the awful DIL.

    Did you/DH say anything to her about how hurtful that was?
  • There. Are. No. Words. I showed this post to my husband, and his mouth just dropped open. All I can say is, you are a much bigger person than me for walking out of the room and telling DH not to bring it up with his parents. I mean, wow. Just, wow. There would have definitely been a scene either at the party or shortly thereafter or outside.
    Married to DH 10/6/12
    TTC since 5/14
    Unexplained with (controlled) hypothyroidism and suspected ovulatory dysfunction (but, I do ovulate on my own)
    Clomid 50 mg 3/15 (unmonitored) - BFN
    Clomid 50 mg + metformin 4/15 (unmonitored) - BFN 
    First RE appt. 5/15; Natural cycle 5/15 monitored with 2 mature follicles and Pregnyl Trigger (full dose) + prometrium - BFN
    6/15 HSG - clear tubes & normal uterus; great PCT test results
    TI - 100 mg Clomid + prometrium (AM & PM) + vaginal estrace (AM & PM) 6-7/15 (monitored) --> no additional response and thinned lining - BFN
    TI - Injectables (follistim + Gonal-F, Ganirelix, & 1/2 dose Pregnyl) + prometrium (AM & PM) 9/15 --> 3-7 mature follicles (3 definites and 4+ that could have matured due to trigger) @ O -->BFN + 5 large cysts
    BC for 2 weeks due to cysts
    TI - Injectables (Gonal-F, Ganirelix & full dose Pregnyl) + prometrium (AM & PM) 10/15 --> 1 mature follicle --> BFN 
    TI - Last attempt at injectables (Gonal-F, Ganirelix & 1/2 dose Pregnyl) + crinone (AM only) + vaginal estrace (AM & PM) 11/15 --> 3-4 mature follicles --> BFP!! 11/27/15 @ 13dpo (shockingly, actually waited until then to test)

    Beta #1 @ 16dpo (11/30/15) = 1,075
    Beta #2 @ 19dpo (12/3/15) = 3,150
    One baby: Saw heartbeat @ 5w5d (114 bpm; baby measuring 2.3mm)

    "Great Things are Happening"
  • Seriously. WTF. WTF. WTF. Why did she do that!?!? Just horrible. I am so sorry you had to go through that. Big (creepy internet) hugs.

    ***TW****MC mentioned & BFP mentioned***


    me 38 DH 39.  
    TTC#1 since July 2014
    AMH 0.1, DOR, Poor responder
    Moved to Prague, Czech Republic for IVF
    2 Natural IVF cycles, 3 full IVF cycles, 4 transfers, 1 BFP - heard heartbeat at 6w5d
    Diagnosed MMC at 9w1d on 11/30/15
    Headed back home to Colorado 12/12/15

    DE attempt in Czech Republic!! 

    March trip to Prague canceled due to Pancreatitis. :sob:
    Headed to Prague April 30
    3 different donors resulted in 1 PGS tested embryo and 1 fresh embryo
    2 embryo's transferred (from 2 different donors) on 5/10/16
    BFP on 5/15/16 at 5dp5dt
    Beta 1 = 81 at 8dp5dt, Beta 2 = 295 at 10dp5dt, Beta 3 = 891 at 12dt5dt. Beta 4 = 2114 at 14dp5dt, Beta 5 = 4916 at 16dp5dt, Beta 6 = 13252 at 19dp5dt
    Heartbeat at 6w5d 133BPM <3
    We are having a GIRL!!! Due Jan 26, 2017


    BabyFruit Ticker

    My blog: www.wearethehammitts.blogspot.com

    Babysizer Cravings Pregnancy Tracker
  • That is really mean. It's hard to imagine somebody doing that. Some people can be really heartless.
    Me: 33; DH: 54
    Nationality: Canadian (Living in Ontario)
    Married: June, 2014
    TTC #1: Since January, 2014
    01/26/16: SA ordered for DH; AMH done for me, D3 Bloodwork, SONO, Diagnostic Cycle Monitoring ordered for me.
    02/11/16: D3 Bloodwork
  • You've handled that very mature @PCOSat25, (and so did your DH) but do remember that you are allowed to get it of your chest and tell them how it make you feel, and that you may say that that's the end of the conversation.

    **********************************************************************************************************************************

    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers Lilypie Maternity tickers



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