Team Green anyone?

babaylo · January 2016

So this is pregnancy #2 for us, with a sweet little boy as our first. We found out he was a boy around 20 weeks at the anatomy scan last time. This time, I really really want to wait until this baby is born to find out if it's a girl or a boy. DH isn't on board.

My reasons are:
#1. We already have all the essential baby stuff we need, it's mostly gender neutral, and it's not like we'd buy a replacement pink one if this one is a girl.
#2. (My biggest reason)This would be the ultimate surprise. No other experience in our entire life will allow us to have this kind of surprise. So, I think we should take advantage of it!

He's really easy going and 9 times out of 10 I get my way on things. So, because he really doesn't ask for much, I know I'll give in and find out at 20 weeks if I don't convince him before then. Anybody have any other convincing arguments to help me out?!

twiddlbug · January 2016

We are in the same boat, kind of. #2 for us, and I got my way (with difficulty!) on not finding out last time and DH is going to try for sure to convince me this time!

Here are a couple more arguments I used last time: apparently research shows you spend more on baby stuff when you know the gender, it really helped me with the tough parts of pregnancy to be wondering and looking forward to finding out on the delivery day, and having people guess! Also, it drove some people crazy who can't seem to understand wanting a surprise, like my brother-in-law, so that was enjoyable.

Good luck! I will always remember the moment, during my horrible emergency c-section, when I heard a voice exclaim "It's definitely a girl!" Worth the wait to have that amazing surprise!

tmk0325 · January 2016

We are going team green too! First baby and we both want the element of surprise! I said that unless it's twins I don't want to find out. If it ends up being twins then I think I'd want to plan some. There are so few surprises these days!

michelle_shelle · January 2016

Same as @tmk0325 ftm and want the surprise. There are so many great neutral items. And I have no problem with a little girl in navy pants or wtv. Can still be daddy's little partner. Or vise versa. I of course wouldn't put a boy in a dress lol.

Jenniferk08 · January 2016

I'm team green as well. I always laugh when people are shocked "you're not finding out the gender". Nope I'm never going to know. Seriously once LO is here I'll know if it's a he or a she.
Part of me would like to know only so I can clean house of the boy stuff from our son if this is a girl. I've saved all his clothes and stuff (bins and bins as he's turning 5 this week).

My friend is an u/s tech and she told me she's never had anyone regret waiting but she has had women wish they waited.

It also helps that my old school Italian grandpa told me if I find out he won't talk to me because he's afraid I might tell him.

kiwico14 · January 2016

We're team green, but we agreed that if something seems glaringly obvious on our anatomy scan, we'll just ask and confirm. DS made it pretty clear he's a boy. We'll see!

cait5413 · January 2016

I'm team green, but DH is not. I have agreed to find out under the condition that we tell no one else that we've found out. Reasons:

1. DH really wants a boy, so if it is a girl, I want him to have time to adjust rather than being disappointed in the delivery room
2. We want 2 kids, so I really want as much gender-neutral stuff as possible, and when people know what you're having at the shower, you get a lot less gender-neutral and useful stuff and a lot more cutesy clothes (especially with girls)

Maybe I can convince him to be team green next time (especially if it is a boy this time!)

dirtyboots · January 2016

FTM, DH and I are both on board team green. Can't change what it is either way so we are all in for the element of surprise.

gadzooks_3 · January 2016

This will be our first and DH and I are both firmly team green, to our parents annoyance

My sister was also team green when pregnant with both her girls, it helped her avoid the all pink explosion, at least until after the babies came.

The way I see it we don't want to get a lot of highly gendered clothes either way, we aren't going to have a highly gendered nursery so what does knowing early do except ruin the surprise? It is like opening your Christmas gifts early.

I also want the fun of thinking up boy and girl and neutral names.

I honestly don't care if it us a boy or a girl, just hoping for a healthy little person.

mamaqdubu · January 2016

My husband and I are both team green! We have already painted the future nursery a sweet pale green already as well.

From talking to friends I'm excited not to know, and I've heard you tend to get more of the "items" on your registry rather than the pink or blue explosions you see. It all sounds good to me!

MamaKSquared · January 2016

I'm firmly team green, DH is the opposite. I love surprises. He hates them, so this is nothing different for us. We've finally compromised. He can find out, but he's not allowed to tell me or our family/friends. This way, it's the best of both worlds. I get my surprise, but if we find something gender specific that we want, he can go back and buy it.

cait5413 · January 2016

MamaKSquared said:

I'm firmly team green, DH is the opposite. I love surprises. He hates them, so this is nothing different for us. We've finally compromised. He can find out, but he's not allowed to tell me or our family/friends. This way, it's the best of both worlds. I get my surprise, but if we find something gender specific that we want, he can go back and buy it.

I considered this...but there is no way my husband would be able to keep it a secret from me. Your husband has more willpower than mine!

ThisisNumber3 · January 2016

The best part of being Team Green is not dealing with the flow of questions,

Oh its, a girl, whats her name going to be, do you hope she will be a ballerina, girls are just so sweet, can we buy her a first doll set?

Or Oh Its a boy, whats his name going to be, is your husband happy to have someone to carry on the name, Dad will have someone to take fishing now wont he, watch out boys are trouble, can we buy him his first sports team set?

texasmama2014 · January 2016

My in-laws are big on knowing and naming before the baby is born. We knew DD was a girl, and we were pressured so much to share name ideas, name choices, etc. It ticked me off because I firmly wanted to meet the baby before giving her a name. I also refused to share our top name choices, because I didn't want people to be like "oh, don't name her X, I hate that name." I don't care what you think ,its not your kid. My BIL and SIL are team green and due in a few weeks. They announced their name choices. I won't be doing that.

JournoGrl23 · January 2016

After reading this all of you are making me want to go team green as well. I really wanted to know the sex because after my loss last year I was done with surprises. I know that doesn't make sense, but it did to me. But DH and I want as much gender neutral stuff as possible because we're hoping to have at least 2 kids. Something to definitely think about before the anatomy scan.

cait5413 · January 2016

texasmama2014 said:

My in-laws are big on knowing and naming before the baby is born. We knew DD was a girl, and we were pressured so much to share name ideas, name choices, etc. It ticked me off because I firmly wanted to meet the baby before giving her a name. I also refused to share our top name choices, because I didn't want people to be like "oh, don't name her X, I hate that name." I don't care what you think ,its not your kid. My BIL and SIL are team green and due in a few weeks. They announced their name choices. I won't be doing that.

YES! Everyone knows our boy name because DH is the 4th, and he really wants the 5th (ugh) of his name. [But I am insisting we call baby by a nickname so we don't have a "little name" "big name" situation.] But I have been keeping mum on the girl options---so many friends have gotten flak for their name choices ahead of the baby's arrival (like they are going to change their minds!), so if it's a girl, they won't know her name til she's here and we've named her. I don't want the snarky comments.

SkiChic626 · January 2016

We were team green last time, and I honestly didn't like it. I was all about the "surprise" thing, too, especially since she was an IVF baby and the pregnancy was obviously very very planned and not a surprise to us or anyone in our family. But then we eventually found out because I was over not knowing and it was such a relief, that's when I really started to have fun with all the nesting! We're definitely finding out this time. The only fun part about it was my in-laws getting soooo annoyed that we didn't know HAHAHA! That was worth my angst lol.

texasmama2014 · January 2016

@cait5413 DH is a 3rd. We won't be continuing the name. He is in a little/big situation. He's very adamant that we will not carry it on.

BritMC18 · January 2016

I'm way too much of a control freak to be team green, but I applaud those of you who are. While hubby and I know the gender, we are not sharing it with anyone except our parents until baby is born.

jmw386 · January 2016

We're team green. We didn't find out with our first and honestly loved everything about it. We knew we wanted more kids, so we were happy to have lots of gender neutral items. We went into the delivery room with 2 boy names and 2 girl names and then settled on the name after meeting our little guy. I understand others like to know and don't fault that approach at all, but for us, finding out in the delivery room was the best choice.

JournoGrl23 · January 2016

@cait5413 DH is a fourth generation as well and we're making the baby (if it's a boy) a fifth generation. Thankfully no one in his family other than the first has gone by the first name so we plan to go along with that tradition and call the baby by his middle name.

greendogs1993 · January 2016

We aren't finding out. We didn't find out with our son and it was the best little surprise.

Since it was our first pregnancy we knew we wanted all the gear to be gender nuetral. So the only thing we didn't have in advance was a full wardrobe. It was easy to find a few gender neutral nightgowns to start with. But everyone that stopped by and our whole church family bought us clothes once he was born. They were so excited to find out the gender too that they all went out and bought a bunch of clothes. Plus, at our baby shower we got all the big stuff because no one wanted to buy clothes. It really worked out the best for us.

Another thing we felt strongly about is that there are so many gender stereotypes put on our children from family and friends so we wanted to give our little one 9 months of no expectations or misguided comments. For example once he was born a he my father-in-law kept going on an on about how he was going to carry on the family name. Or my father talked about how he will become a farmer and take over the family land. As a female engineer I'm sick of hearing gender stereotypes or how people think it's amazing that I joined such a challenging field for a woman.

Plus, I love surprises so the moment of discovering the gender made a special day even more exciting!

cait5413 · January 2016

texasmama2014 said:

@cait5413 DH is a 3rd. We won't be continuing the name. He is in a little/big situation. He's very adamant that we will not carry it on.

I wish my DH felt the same. DH and his dad go by the same name, so it gets confusing enough as it is. In the family they are referred to as name 3 and name 4 moreso than big/little, but I want baby to have his own identity! My uncle and cousin are the big/little in our family and I hate it. Luckily, I like the nickname possibilities for the name.

alyssajrob22 · January 2016

I am definitely team green, but DH is so against it. He says that it will be a surprise, regardless of us finding out at 20 weeks or in the delivery room. I don't want my MIL to go completely overboard and start buying everything that she wants the baby to have if we find out what it is. Plus, this being our first, I'm worried about just getting a bunch of clothes. Still trying to plead my case to DH.

Escheffler34 · January 2016

Lurking from n 15 so baby is already here but I just wanted to say we were team green and I am so passionate about it!!! It was the most amazing thing ever and I asked my dr if my husband could tell me. Seeing the look on his face when he said 'it's a boy' was amazing. He said he blacked out from happiness lol. No other surprise like that one!!! And we had no problems with things. People were so excited to find out he's a boy they bought us a ton of boy clothes when he was born. And there actually are some cute gender neutral clothes out there!! It was amazing, if you're on the fence about doing it I say GO FOR IT!!!!

pelorunningmama · January 2016

We are on the fence. My best friend did it and said it was the greatest surprise. My one big hold up is DD. She has made it VERY clear that she only wants a sister. I thought if we knew in advance we could possibly make the transition a bit easier if baby is a boy. Thoughts? Just tell DD to suck it up??

mmclark10 · January 2016

We are team green this time but found out with our first. I was diagnosed with cholestasis and found out our little guy was breech on the same day. At 38 weeks, a c-section was our best option, which was hard to handle for me. This time, I'm going for a VBAC and if that doesn't happen, I want there to be an unknown at the end of the long road of pregnancy. There might be a lot of unknowns if I get to labor but if not, there will be one for sure!

babybravesfan · January 2016

I'm in the same boat! I want to wait and my hubs is already dying to know. This will be our second and our daughter is about to turn a year so we have anything we'd need besides boy clothes. But I just feel like it will be so much more fun this time if we wait!

riveridgional · January 2016

I really want to be team green, but DH is adamant about finding out. He does so much for me and let's me get my way so many times, that I figure I can let him "win" this time. I told him I'd only agree to find out early if I didn't find out in the doctor's office. Now, I'm struggling with whether we should keep the sex a secret or not. I've heard from so many people that knowing the sex beforehand affects the usefulness of baby shower gifts. So, a large part of me wants to keep it a secret from everyone except our parents and siblings. But, what are the chances none of them slip up and give the gender away to others? And, I want a fun gender reveal, but if only my parents and sister (only people in town) are there, doing the really fun options just seems a bit silly.

The struggle haha. Completely regretting agreeing to find out with DH. I just knew if he found out first he would slip or it would make my "surprise" not seem as fun. I want to find out with him.

babaylo · January 2016

Escheffler34 said:
Lurking from n 15 so baby is already here but I just wanted to say we were team green and I am so passionate about it!!! It was the most amazing thing ever and I asked my dr if my husband could tell me. Seeing the look on his face when he said 'it's a boy' was amazing. He said he blacked out from happiness lol. No other surprise like that one!!! And we had no problems with things. People were so excited to find out he's a boy they bought us a ton of boy clothes when he was born. And there actually are some cute gender neutral clothes out there!! It was amazing, if you're on the fence about doing it I say GO FOR IT!!!!

I love that your husband told you it was a boy! I teared up just thinking about that moment! You just up-ed my excitement! My DH is slowly coming around....when I mention waiting he just laughs now instead of quickly objecting. Can't wait to share your story with him! I think he'll like that idea! Thanks for your response

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