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May 2016 Moms
doozer1345
member
Still Alice Book Check In 2
doozer1345
member
This is for pages 85-168 (right? I may be wrong).
What might the significance be of John frequently fiddling with his wedding ring when Alice's health is discussed?
Why do you think Lydia is the only one that decides against getting tested/knowing if she carries the gene?
Would you want to know?
Does Alice feel a connection to butterflies beyond her butterfly necklace? Does she covet her necklace only because she misses her mom?
Does Alice identify herself mostly as a mother, wife, or scholar?
Is the decision to kill herself once her disease progresses to an advanced stage in character for her?
Next Sunday are pages 168-256.
1. I'm still not sold on John's fidelity. Whether it be with another person or with his work. Although we see more of an effort with attention to Alice in these pages, I still feel like someone who is a devoted/loyal husband would have more of an urgency for his wife. I think he cares about Alice deeply but as a wife? I'm not sold. I'm not sold that Alice has been as loyal/devoted as a wife either which could be why it works with them. I think he fiddles with his ring as a nervous tick bc he can't solve the problem and he doesn't know what to say or do when it comes to Alice and her disease.
2. I think Lydia is (I think it says it somewhere in the book too) more of a hippie and go with the flow of things type person. This obviously differs from her siblings. I think that's why she decides not to find out. To not live with the burden.
3. I would want to know bc I am a researcher and a planner.
4. I don't necessarily feel like Alice has a connection to butterflies based off of what I've read so far. I think the necklace is something that;s a part of her mother that she keeps to have her mother be close to her.
5. I think Alice identifies with herself more as a scholar but is reflecting on how easy motherhood and loving someone (John) came to her as well.
6. I don't think it's fair to say if a decision like that is necessarily in character for anyone in that position. Especially with a disease of the mind. Under normal circumstances do I think she's suicidal? No. Isn't that a thought for everyone in a dire situation whether they plan to go through with it or not?
What might the significance be of John frequently fiddling with his wedding ring when Alice's health is discussed?
Why do you think Lydia is the only one that decides against getting tested/knowing if she carries the gene?
Would you want to know?
Does Alice feel a connection to butterflies beyond her butterfly necklace? Does she covet her necklace only because she misses her mom?
Does Alice identify herself mostly as a mother, wife, or scholar?
Is the decision to kill herself once her disease progresses to an advanced stage in character for her?
Next Sunday are pages 168-256.
1. I'm still not sold on John's fidelity. Whether it be with another person or with his work. Although we see more of an effort with attention to Alice in these pages, I still feel like someone who is a devoted/loyal husband would have more of an urgency for his wife. I think he cares about Alice deeply but as a wife? I'm not sold. I'm not sold that Alice has been as loyal/devoted as a wife either which could be why it works with them. I think he fiddles with his ring as a nervous tick bc he can't solve the problem and he doesn't know what to say or do when it comes to Alice and her disease.
2. I think Lydia is (I think it says it somewhere in the book too) more of a hippie and go with the flow of things type person. This obviously differs from her siblings. I think that's why she decides not to find out. To not live with the burden.
3. I would want to know bc I am a researcher and a planner.
4. I don't necessarily feel like Alice has a connection to butterflies based off of what I've read so far. I think the necklace is something that;s a part of her mother that she keeps to have her mother be close to her.
5. I think Alice identifies with herself more as a scholar but is reflecting on how easy motherhood and loving someone (John) came to her as well.
6. I don't think it's fair to say if a decision like that is necessarily in character for anyone in that position. Especially with a disease of the mind. Under normal circumstances do I think she's suicidal? No. Isn't that a thought for everyone in a dire situation whether they plan to go through with it or not?
Re: Still Alice Book Check In 2
I'd need to know. I actually think the bigger burden is not knowing...then you're always wondering. It could be that Lydia's feelings on the subject will change if she ever ends up in her sister's shoes (planning a pregnancy that could potentially be affected). Before that point, I could see the knowledge not mattering to her one way or the other...but for me personally I'd much rather know the outcome was bad rather than wondering about it for the rest of my life.
1. What might the significance be of John frequently fiddling with his wedding ring when Alice's health is discussed? I think it gives him something to focus on so he's not thinking, "What am I going to do?" so often.
2. Why do you think Lydia is the only one that decides against getting tested/knowing if she carries the gene? She seems like a free spirit. Right now she is not planning on having a family soon so maybe at that time she will change her mind.
3. Would you want to know? At first thought, no. After I think about it more though, I think I would. The reason I wouldn't is because I wouldn't want it to change the way I live. The reason I would is because I know my personality and it would eat at me everyday not knowing. I am a very curious person and I feel I need to be in control as much as possible.
4. Does Alice feel a connection to butterflies beyond her butterfly necklace? Does she covet her necklace only because she misses her mom? I think she feels a little like a butterfly. Earlier in the book she talks about butterflies having a short life and maybe she feels her life will be cut short like the butterfly.
5. Does Alice identify herself mostly as a mother, wife, or scholar? Scholar
6. Is the decision to kill herself once her disease progresses to an advanced stage in character for her? Yes, she always wants to be in control. Not wanting to control her death would be considered out of character to me.
1. This is essentially what I was trying to say. He doesn't know what to do so he's keeping his hands busy.
2. My personality would make not knowing MORE of a burden than knowing. i could see how some people could put it out of their mind though and make it less of a burden.
6. I wouldn't necessarily say these two things go hand in hand. Just because you aren't suicidal, doesn't mean you wouldn't think about/have a plan to do so in this situation. I don't think she's suicidal, just controlling.
I agree with a lot of this.
I'm sad not more people have chimed in either. It's probably my fault since I usually start this and the past 2 Sundays I've been busy and haven't posted until late.
Been married since 2009.
Unicornuate Uterus (yes I menstruate glitter)
Several MCs
DD born 2013 (our miracle "you can't have babies" baby!)
What might the significance be of John frequently fiddling with his wedding ring when Alice's health is discussed? I NEVER even considered an affair, but looking back, I guess I could see signs. I definitely think it is more in line with his work though. While he is a scholar, it has never been such personal problems he has tried to solve. It breaks my heart when he cried the entire way home in the one scene.
Why do you think Lydia is the only one that decides against getting tested/knowing if she carries the gene? I agree she is different than the others, but I think highlighting her character traits emphasizes Alice's even more - how they differ in career paths, yet are so passionate. How one has to know in order to plan, but the other thinks not knowing would be better, etc.
Would you want to know? Yes - I actually have a friend who has decided to undergo genetic testing before she has children because she has 50% chance of a horrible disease, and talking to her about it was so insightful. I think in situations where you can't control the diagnosis, you may want to try to control other things.
Does Alice feel a connection to butterflies beyond her butterfly necklace? Does she covet her necklace only because she misses her mom? I agree with whoever said before it is more how they can have a short, but beautiful life. When she thinks about the things she wants to accomplish before she dies, they are more about family, and I feel like that scene was foreshadowing her 'bucket list,' and all the experiences she will have, whether or not she is fully present.
Does Alice identify herself mostly as a mother, wife, or scholar? As a scholar, but she is putting more emphasis on motherhood as it goes along - i.e. jealous of her daughter that she can control whether or not she passes on the gene.
Is the decision to kill herself once her disease progresses to an advanced stage in character for her? Yes - it is her planning and taking control - control to go to the doctor, go to the assisted living, and control to not be a 'burden' on her family. She wants to control the memory they will have of her when she was at her best, not her worst.
Yay! Now I'm going to read more - how many more breakouts are there? I feel like I'll just have to reference the book when we are having discussions because I really think I'm going to knock it out this weekend. Definitely one I wouldn't have picked up on my own so I'm really thankful you ladies are doing this discussion.